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Author Topic:   Trouble, oh the legalities....
ghanima81
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Posts: 1577
From: MAINE! :)
Registered: Aug 2003

posted August 12, 2004 06:04 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for ghanima81     Edit/Delete Message
Okay. So, I've been really stressed out lately, and coming over here to ''de-funk'' has been a big help. But since I can't seem to really talk to any of my friends about the stress factors, I was hoping perhaps to share them here, if not to get advice, at least to get it off my chest. Ready? Here goes....

As some here may remember, I moved over here (UK) last year to be with my current boyfriend (Sun/Libra,Asc/Sag). I went home for a visit last month, and things between us were a bit, off. I began feeling a bit stifled (you know how we Aquas hate that), as he's more of a homebody type, and I like being all over the place most of the time. The visit home was not only to see family and friends, but also to try and sort out financial aid and student visa stuff, and to attend University when I got back. I've finally decided that I want to go to school for history/politics/sociology, and the Uni here has an amzing program that includes one sememster in Italy, France, Denmark, Germany or Spain. When I got home, my mum bought a new house, so I was very busy helping her move in, and we had no land line as she and her fiance both had cell phones, and didn't see the need to get one. I also had no mode of transportation, and she has moved to the village, so walking was not an option. Also, there is no public transport there. So, I didn't really get to do much about the school/visa stuff. I did, however, find out that Mr. Libra was registered to several online dating services, and some that were of the pure ''let's send each other dirty text messages and have internet sex'' kind. I was pretty upset about that, and instead of saying anything to him about it, I pulled away from him a bit and realized perhaps I could change my plans and go back to the states for school. However, I knew I would have to go back to the UK to get all my stuff (which is a lot) as I've lost a lot of my personal belongings in the past few years due to picking up and moving away when things weren't going in a good direction. I didn't want all I've worked for in my life to fit in one suitcase.

Anyway, I also saw my ex. The person I have always thought I would end up with at the end of the day. (Sun/Gem,Asc/Cancer) We have remained the best of friends since we broke up (for the third/forth time?),and there has always been something between us that yearns for more than friendship, but we just can't get the timing right. We went for a hike, went camping, and ended up in each others arms one full moon under the stars. Very, very bad, I know, but I had no idea what was going on with Mr. Libra, and whenever the ex is around, I'm helpless to the pull towards him. So, that happened, but he was in the process of waiting for things to settle down for this girl he liked who split up with her boyfriend of 3 years, so that they could get together. Not a big deal, as I know again, the timing would have been horrible for us to try to start back up again. Strange thing is, my whole family used to dislike the ex, and think he was dragging me down, but when I was home, they were all rooting for him. Not sure if it was because they have truly changed their minds about him, or because they all want me back home.

So, I came back to the UK, and had told Mr. Libra that something had happened between the ex and I before getting back. We had a deep conversation about the whole internet relationship thing, and what had happened with me. He said that he didn't think he would miss me very much, and that he realized once I was gone for a few weeks, that he truly loved me, and that I am ''the one''. He thinks that he must have been scared of what he felt, and that he was rebelling against those feelings. It was truly a 360 from before I left. He has been honest, open, loving, supportive, appreciative and wonderful since I've been back. He's talking about buying a flat for us, and supporting me while I go to school. It's about 5 years of study, and once I'm a student, I can work 20 hours a week, so I will be contributing a bit. But here's the problem:

There is no legal way that I can work over here, unless I am a student. And unfortunately the cut off date for international students was June 1st, didn't find that out until I got back here. I can't find any other way to take classes as of yet, so I can't make any money, get out of the house, meet new people, or work towards my degree until next fall, as they don't allow international students to start in the winter term. I can work in the pub that his family owns, but we live above it, and all our friends come in here, so my entire life would exist in one building, like it was before I left. I am left feeling stifled again, and stressed out, as I don't want to work here, and there aren't any shifts available unless someone is sick or on holiday.

I want to sort this out, because as much as I do miss my family, most of my friends back home are scattered all over the place, and my best friend is moving to Ireland around Christmas time, and getting married. Plus with the ''not working'' thing, I wouldn't have any money to buy a car when I get back home. And I would have to stay with my mum and her fiance and his son, which isn't horrible, but I can see it causing unnessecary stress for my mother. So, I'm left with pretty much no options, which drives me crazy, I can't stand feeling so restricted. It bothers me to no end that the laws are so difficult, there are no exceptions, and just because I am American. If only I was from Canada, it would be a piece of pie.

So I guess what I'm getting at is... AHHHH!!!! What can I do? Do any of you knowflakes know of any way to work around this? Also in July, they tightened up the laws even more to prevent illegals working here, so there aren't many ''under the table'' jobs around either.

Okay, I may have gotten all befuddled here and there, trying to describe the situation. Thanks to anyone who read this, and a pre-emptive thanks to anyone who has any advice....

This is the only place that has been a getaway for me, and thanks for making this place so wonderful....

Love and light,
Ghani

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paras
Knowflake

Posts: 1660
From: the Heart of It All
Registered: May 2004

posted August 12, 2004 12:55 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for paras     Edit/Delete Message
Wow, Ghanima. Sounds like an episode from my life.

I've travelled around a lot, gotten stuck in stifling (or worse) situations, and been hampered by the law in attempts to improve my life. I know what you're feeling. It's frustrating.

I've never been out of the U.S., and don't know anything about the laws in other countries, so I don't think I can offer you any solutions on that score. But you have my sympathy!

If you end up getting stuck there until next fall, at least you'll have wackos like me around here at Lindaland to entertain you.

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pixelpixie
Knowflake

Posts: 5301
From: Ontario Canada
Registered: Jun 2005

posted August 12, 2004 12:56 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for pixelpixie     Edit/Delete Message
Ghani.
I appreciate that you come here for support and sharing. Thanks for your input.. I always like what you have to say!
Thanks also for updating on the scenario. I wish you clarity, and I do know that everything happens as it is supposed to, so no matter what, your experiences will be perfect (afterwards).
Good Luck!!!

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pixelpixie
Knowflake

Posts: 5301
From: Ontario Canada
Registered: Jun 2005

posted August 12, 2004 12:56 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for pixelpixie     Edit/Delete Message
oooooh.. paras, simultaneous posting!! How exciting!

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LibraSparkle
Knowflake

Posts: 6034
From: Vancouver USA
Registered: May 2004

posted August 12, 2004 01:04 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for LibraSparkle     Edit/Delete Message
Hi Ghani

I'm sorry to hear about all the drama. Things will settle down. They always do.

I'm not sure how things are in the UK, but here in the states there are community colleges that you can join up at the start of each quarter. Is there something like that over there? It would get you by for the year. You could work and then transfer to the university next year.

Good luck with the boys. Sounds like you've got your hands full

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ghanima81
Moderator

Posts: 1577
From: MAINE! :)
Registered: Aug 2003

posted August 12, 2004 02:53 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for ghanima81     Edit/Delete Message
Thank you all so much for your replies!! It never ceases to amaze me how supportive and kind you all are, especially when someone is feeling down.

Paras,
Yay!! A positive out of the whole drama!! We can watch Foamy cartoons ''together'' and laugh ourselves to tears!! And eat bagels, of course!! Thanks, mate!

Pixie,
I do think that way too, but I have such an impatient streak in me (not sure if that's from the Cappy in my 5th in this matter), that it's hard to see the end of the tunnel. I am trying desperately to go with the flow, knowing that things will work themselves out the way they should. Perhaps this Mercury retrograde thing has something to do with all these problems that keep popping up? Thanks for the kind words, I like hearing what you have to say, too!!

Libra Sparkle,
Unfortunately, they don't have the same rules for international students as they do for UK citizens, so although there are college courses that start later, I'm not entitled to apply for them. Very frustrating!! And yes, I need all the luck I can get, boys are hard work!!

Love and light to all of you!!
Ghani

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pidaua
Knowflake

Posts: 7314
From: Schweinfurt to Grafenwoehr all within 6 months LOL
Registered: May 2002

posted August 12, 2004 04:26 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for pidaua     Edit/Delete Message
Hi Ghani,

I am so sorry about your situation. I was thinking, is there a way that you could work for the US doing something online? Maybe editing, translation or like medical transcription? Maybe if a company based in the US could pay you, then you would not be considered working in the UK?

I am not sure how that would work, but with this whole Internet thing, there might be some kind of loophole.

I can imagine how you feel. It is hard feeling dependant on another- especially for those of us born under a sign that NEEDS freedom. (I'm a Sag) I always worry about not having a job, car or security, not so much because of the money it represents, but because of the freedom that it affords.

Reading your post, my heart began to race, because I could just "feel" that feeling of things closing in. I think Merc retro might be telling to look at things more closely. Maybe working in the pub wouldn't be such a bad thing, you could still chat with others, make some money and use it to get out and do things.

My thoughts are with you. Please keep us updated.

~Pidaua

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ghanima81
Moderator

Posts: 1577
From: MAINE! :)
Registered: Aug 2003

posted August 13, 2004 08:51 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for ghanima81     Edit/Delete Message
Hi, Pidaua!

I kind of thought of that option, but I'm not sure either how to go about arranging such a thing. I guess I should poke around on the net and see what I can find out... I'm just afraid of all the crap that is out there, a search like that may lead to all sorts of scam jobs. Ah, well, I'll see what I can do.

I think it is especially hard for someone like me, who absolutely abhores feeling tied down and stuck. And you're right, it's not so much a money thing, it's more of having the means to do what I want on a whim, within reason of course.

Thanks for the support, I'll keep you posted!!

Love and light,
Ghani

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ghanima81
Moderator

Posts: 1577
From: MAINE! :)
Registered: Aug 2003

posted August 16, 2004 01:54 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for ghanima81     Edit/Delete Message
Update:

Well, finally got some info on the school thing. I can go to Highbury College to get my A levels, and take access to university classes, making it easier for entry in the subject I want to major in. However... I can't get funding from over here, and I've tried to apply for the Stafford loan or Eucaid, but they are not seeming to be available to me.... figures.... I have written to several student loan sites, just to find out what my options really are. So hopefully I'll hear back from them and get some answers. Once that is sorted, I should be able to start school in the middle of September. HORRAH!!

Keep your fingers crossed!!

Peace guys!!

Ghani

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pidaua
Knowflake

Posts: 7314
From: Schweinfurt to Grafenwoehr all within 6 months LOL
Registered: May 2002

posted August 16, 2004 04:47 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for pidaua     Edit/Delete Message
YIPPEEEEE!!!

I think this Merc retro has been a blessing in disguise. It seems to be allowing you to recheck your options and see what is available.


I will think lots of good thoughts for you Ghani - I am sure all will work out. YIPPPEEEE

~Pidaua

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ghanima81
Moderator

Posts: 1577
From: MAINE! :)
Registered: Aug 2003

posted August 16, 2004 04:59 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for ghanima81     Edit/Delete Message
Thank you bunches, Pid!! I'm hoping this all works out for the best!! Thanks for keeping me in your thoughts. Have a great trip down south with Monseiur Taurus!!

Love and light,

Ghani

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ghanima81
Moderator

Posts: 1577
From: MAINE! :)
Registered: Aug 2003

posted August 19, 2004 05:17 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for ghanima81     Edit/Delete Message
Bad news..... can't get funding for the college course, and it's 4895, which is about $8000, that sucks. Then I found out I can still apply to the University, the cutoff isn't until sometime in October. But then in the paper yesterday, there was a big article about how the ''battle for a place at Portsmouth University is on''. There are 28,000 applications, and only 5,000 spaces left. I don't know why I thought it was going to be so easy. The reason I am stressed is because I am in England, my school transcripts are in Maine, so is the teacher I need to get a reference from. I don't know how to get it from him. I feel so ....... I don't know, like the universe is trying to tell me something. Everytime I think I have found a way to stay over here, there is a huge stop sign that pops up and says NO!! THOU SHALT NOT PASS!! Urgh, dejected, stressed out, feeling awful about myself. I still want to get the application in, but it's hard to not feel like this isn't meant to be....

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paras
Knowflake

Posts: 1660
From: the Heart of It All
Registered: May 2004

posted August 19, 2004 06:53 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for paras     Edit/Delete Message
Hey, Ghani.

I'm sorry to hear you're having such a frustrating time. I well know what it feels like when it seems like Life is throwing up roadblocks on every path you want to take. All I can say is hang in there and keep the faith! Things really do work out for the best, even though it's difficult if not impossible to see sometimes. I've had to be re-minded of this lately myself, and I thought I'd pass it along. Whatever you do, don't despair. And don't feel bad about yourself! Why ever would you? I think you're a wonderfully kind and positive person, and I'm sure many here feel the same.

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ghanima81
Moderator

Posts: 1577
From: MAINE! :)
Registered: Aug 2003

posted August 19, 2004 07:59 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for ghanima81     Edit/Delete Message
Thanks, Paras

I also found out today that the course I want to take is full. Yup, that's right, full. Goshdarnit... I am either going to have to try and get into another course, just to attend school, or forget the whole darn thing and go home........that sounds very defeatist, I know, but what else can I do? I have tried every other possible way of having a normal life over here, being able to work, pay for food, do things ocassinally, that sort of thing. But it's impossible........guess I better try to apply to Southampton University now, it's the only other school that I can get funding for that's relatively close to where I live. I'll have to take a train there everyday, and poop only knows how much that will cost...... I just want to cry.

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Yin
Knowflake

Posts: 1409
From:
Registered: May 2004

posted August 19, 2004 12:59 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Yin     Edit/Delete Message
Ghani, don't get so discouraged now. Have you looked into getting a work permit in the UK?
Here is some more info:
http://www.workingintheuk.gov.uk/working_in_the_uk/en/h omepage/work_permits/overview_of_process/people_who_do_not.html?
http://www.workingintheuk.gov.uk/working_in_the_uk/en/homepage/your_status/al ready_in_the_uk.html

My understanding is that you WILL have to go back to the US to get a work permit or a visa for a longer stay.

Believe me - you will be better off doing everything the right/legal way then to live in fear that you might get caught/fined or even deported.

Listen I've been there, I've been exactly where you are now, making major changes, leaving family behind to persue a dream(or a boy )It required so much effort collecting all the information, getting all the money together - that was the hardest part, waiting patiently in line for hours for a couple of days at the embassy, having to answer embarassing questions at the airport and then the uncertainty and the fear that clouds your mind through the whole process...

At the end I said to myself - I'm in God's hands - whatever happens, I'll embrace it and live with it.

So I'm here now - thousands of miles away from my family who I haven't seen for about 2 years, trying to fit in, get over (still!!!) the cultural shock, and make a decent living.

It was so hard and I've been through so much, but it was worth it.

Good luck to you, brave girl!
And remember, the best things are still to come, just stay positive.

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ghanima81
Moderator

Posts: 1577
From: MAINE! :)
Registered: Aug 2003

posted September 24, 2004 09:44 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for ghanima81     Edit/Delete Message
Guess what, people!!?

I have an interview on Monday at 3:30 with the administrator of the Contemporary Studies course at Portsmouth University!!

If all goes well, I will be a student and start classes on October 4th!!

I am so excited, and nervous, and twitterpated and bumbleflustered, I can hardly sit still!

Wish me luck!!

And thank you all for your tremendous support, it has meant a lot to me.

Love and light,
Ghani

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pixelpixie
Knowflake

Posts: 5301
From: Ontario Canada
Registered: Jun 2005

posted September 24, 2004 10:04 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for pixelpixie     Edit/Delete Message
******WWWWWWWHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE******


Jumps up and down in her chair.....pauses.. starts again.

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Virgo-AriesArtist
Knowflake

Posts: 1409
From: USA
Registered: Nov 2001

posted September 24, 2004 10:14 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Virgo-AriesArtist     Edit/Delete Message
Congrats Ghani! I'm so happy for you.
Sending all the positive energy and lite your direction today...
Please keep us posted, dear Knowflake

------------------
-K
"Most people love with restraint
As if they were someday to hate
We hated gently, carefully
As if we were someday to love"-Venus Trines at Midnight

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Yin
Knowflake

Posts: 1409
From:
Registered: May 2004

posted September 24, 2004 10:36 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Yin     Edit/Delete Message
Good luck to you, Ghani!

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ghanima81
Moderator

Posts: 1577
From: MAINE! :)
Registered: Aug 2003

posted October 20, 2004 05:15 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for ghanima81     Edit/Delete Message
UPDATE:

YAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!!!!

I had my first class tonight!! It was a history class, and OMG!! I have so much to learn about British history/politics/social issues/economics it's unreal!! I'm so excited to finally be back at school and learning. It is going to be a really fun year! A lot of working on my own, which I haven't done in a while, but I think I can do it. My prof is really cool, too. He let's us call him Kevin, and he's so animated and informative, the class is captivated. Lot's of class discussion, which is great. So many ideas and theories floating around. It's nothing like I thought it would be, it's better!!

Well, thanks for all your support, knowflakes!! My dream is finally taking shape!

(could I use any more !!! ? ) hehehe

Love and light,
Ghani

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Sheaa Olein
Knowflake

Posts: 2864
From: London
Registered: Jul 2004

posted October 20, 2004 05:17 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Sheaa Olein     Edit/Delete Message
Fantastic Ghani! You sound / read great!! Here - I'll add a few more - !!!!

------------------
"There is nothing worth more than this day!"
Goethe

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26taurus
Knowflake

Posts: 13411
From: *
Registered: Jun 2004

posted October 20, 2004 06:41 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for 26taurus     Edit/Delete Message
Awesome Ghani!

Having a cool teacher always helps! It all sounds great. Hope all of your dreams come true. The best is yet to come!


26

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