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Author Topic:   Hell ...Scientifically explained!!!
sweetlibra
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Posts: 1382
From:
Registered: Oct 2004

posted March 31, 2006 03:34 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for sweetlibra     Edit/Delete Message
The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University of
Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so
"profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which
is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic
(absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law
(gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we
need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at
which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul
gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different
Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state
that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since
there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to
more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of
souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of
the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the
temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand
proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which
souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase
until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of
souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes
over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year
that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you, and take
into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be
true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen
over.

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it
follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore,
extinct...leaving only Heaven thereby proving the existence of a divine being which
explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

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Libra Sun/Mercury, Aqua Moon, Scoprio Venus/Mars, Taurus Asc

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Moon666Child
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Posts: 2025
From:
Registered: Jul 2004

posted March 31, 2006 08:12 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Moon666Child     Edit/Delete Message

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Welcome Home to GhostVillage

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1scorp
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Posts: 2251
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Registered: Feb 2003

posted March 31, 2006 09:02 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for 1scorp     Edit/Delete Message

Enjoyed reading this with my morning coffee.

Now it's time to get to work.

Edit - These idle hours are beginning to play on my nerves. Begging to get into sales.
_________________________________________
Scorpio sun, venus, mars, mercury, and uranus
Libra moon, pluto, and asc.

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pixelpixie
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Posts: 5301
From: Ontario Canada
Registered: Jun 2005

posted March 31, 2006 09:03 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for pixelpixie     Edit/Delete Message
hahahahahahhahahahahahahaha
That was awesome!!!

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Happy Dragon
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Posts: 2886
From:
Registered: Apr 2005

posted March 31, 2006 09:54 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Happy Dragon     Edit/Delete Message
LOL doubletime .. brilliant !!!

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"If you don't like my peaches, please don't shake my tree" .. Elmore James ..
"I'm your Pepsi-Cola, but you won't take me out the can" .. Jethro Tull ..

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pchan33
unregistered
posted April 02, 2006 08:15 PM           Edit/Delete Message
That was great...who wrote it?

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http://www.associatedcontent.com/user/6562/pchan_stockton.html

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BlueTopaz124
Knowflake

Posts: 1382
From: Portland, OR
Registered: Jan 2004

posted April 02, 2006 10:54 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for BlueTopaz124     Edit/Delete Message
hahaha loved it

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Johnny
Knowflake

Posts: 2056
From: Colorado, USA
Registered: Nov 2004

posted April 03, 2006 12:06 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Johnny     Edit/Delete Message
Profound!

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