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Author Topic:   Embarassing Medical Exams
Bluemoon
Knowflake

Posts: 4456
From: Stafford, VA USA
Registered: Feb 2005

posted March 17, 2007 09:55 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Bluemoon     Edit/Delete Message

Embarrassing medical exams


1. A man comes into the ER and yells, "My wife's going to have her baby
in
the cab!" I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady's
dress, and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly I noticed that
there
were several cabs ---and I was in the wrong one. Submitted by
Dr. Mark
MacDonald, San Francisco CA.


2. At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and
slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall. "Big breaths," I
instructed. "Yes, they used to be," replied the patient.
Submitted by
Dr. Richard Byrnes, Seattle, WA.


3. One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that
her
husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more than five
minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he
had
died of a "massive internal fart."
Submitted by Dr. Susan Steinberg


4. During a patient's two week follow-up appointment with his
cardiologist,
he informed me, his doctor, that he was having trouble with one of his
medications. "Which one?" I asked. "The patch, the Nurse told me
to put on
a new one every six hours and now I'm running out of places to put
it!" I
had him quickly undress and discovered what I hoped I wouldn't see.
Yes,
the man had over fifty patches on his body! Now, the instructions
include
removal of the old patch before applying a new one.
Submitted by Dr. Rebecca St. Clair, Norfolk, Va.


5. While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked, "How
long
have you been bedridden?" After a look of complete confusion she
answered..
"Why, not for about twenty years - when my husband was alive."
Submitted
by Dr. Steven Swanson- Corvallis, OR


6. I was performing rounds at the hospital one morning and while
checking up
on a woman I asked, "So how's your breakfast this morning?" "It's
very
good, except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can't seem to get used to the
taste"
the patient replied. I then asked to see the jelly and the woman
produced a
foil packet labeled "KY Jelly."
Submitted by Dr. Leonard Kransdorf, Detroit, MI


7. A nurse was on duty in the Emergency Room when a young woman with
purple
hair styled into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety of tattoos,
and
wearing strange clothing, entered. It was quickly determined that the
patient had acute appendicitis, so she was scheduled for immediate
surgery.
When she was completely disrobed on the operating table, the staff
noticed
that her pubic hair had been dyed green, and above it there was a tattoo
that read, "Keep off the grass." Once the surgery was completed, the
surgeon wrote a short note on the patient's dressing, which said,
"Sorry,
had to mow the lawn."
Submitted by RN no name
AND FINALLY!!!................

8. As a new, young MD doing his residency in OB, I was quite embarrassed
when performing female pelvic exams. To cover my embarrassment I had
unconsciously formed a habit of whistling softly. The middle-aged
lady upon
whom I was performing this exam suddenly burst out laughing and further
embarrassing me. I looked up from my work and sheepishly said, "I'm
sorry.
Was I tickling you?" She replied, "No doctor, but the song you were
whistling was, "I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Wiener". Dr. wouldn't
submit
his name.


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BornUnderDioscuri
Knowflake

Posts: 2560
From: Never Never Land
Registered: Oct 2006

posted March 17, 2007 08:26 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for BornUnderDioscuri     Edit/Delete Message
LOLOL! This is awesome thanks for posting

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Peri
Moderator

Posts: 2447
From: Kyiv, Ukraine
Registered: Dec 2003

posted March 18, 2007 07:49 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Peri     Edit/Delete Message
ROLF!!!!!!

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aqua inferno
Knowflake

Posts: 1106
From: hopping about Europe
Registered: Oct 2006

posted March 18, 2007 08:24 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for aqua inferno     Edit/Delete Message
oh the shame of it all

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Eleanore
Moderator

Posts: 2512
From: Japan
Registered: Aug 2003

posted March 19, 2007 06:54 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Eleanore     Edit/Delete Message
I'll have to share this one. Thanks, Bluemoon.

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Bluemoon
Knowflake

Posts: 4456
From: Stafford, VA USA
Registered: Feb 2005

posted March 19, 2007 08:28 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Bluemoon     Edit/Delete Message
I am glad I could bring a smile to your faces.

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InLoveWithLife
Knowflake

Posts: 1530
From: Wonderland
Registered: Aug 2006

posted March 21, 2007 03:33 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for InLoveWithLife     Edit/Delete Message
i need to read more posts like these or my head will explode !

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double trouble gemini
Knowflake

Posts: 458
From: uae
Registered: Dec 2005

posted March 21, 2007 05:32 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for double trouble gemini     Edit/Delete Message
LOL... very nice..... love them blue... give me more

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Bluemoon
Knowflake

Posts: 4456
From: Stafford, VA USA
Registered: Feb 2005

posted March 21, 2007 08:10 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Bluemoon     Edit/Delete Message

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ALeonine
Knowflake

Posts: 303
From:
Registered: Apr 2006

posted March 22, 2007 08:28 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for ALeonine     Edit/Delete Message
Too good Bluemoon!

GIVE me more

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