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Author Topic:   My Eyes
Dew
Knowflake

Posts: 177
From: UK
Registered: Dec 2006

posted June 26, 2007 04:08 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Dew     Edit/Delete Message
The smilie is not to say I'm cool.
Even though I am
But, I digress...
It is to refer to the fact that I am sat on the staircase at my mum's, writing this to whoever will read it (READ IT!!)
...thinking about what it is I am going to do to deal with my increasing paranoia that my stare makes people uncomfortable!

My boyfriend says I have powerful eyes.
My boyfriend's brother says my eyes are powerful...and demanding too.
And my brother said 'You are the one I hold up as a picture of normalcy, Sis. So I do not know how to answer your question'!
I said 'Err...thanks?!'

Now, for my part,I can see that I am a starer.
Its because I am listening hard. Thats all.My focus is always on the person. Nothing else.
But I am also very intuitive too.
So having seen enough subtle squirms underneath my gaze to last me a good while...I'm starting to get paranoid.

Guys, help!!
I dont want to make people uncomfortable when they are with me.
But I don't want to make myself uncomfortable too.
And I do when I am not actively engaged.
Is there like a trick to this stare thang.....like a point of focus on the other persons face?
Or do I just have to deal?


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Dew
Knowflake

Posts: 177
From: UK
Registered: Dec 2006

posted June 26, 2007 04:15 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Dew     Edit/Delete Message
Oh...and if you are a starer too, please share your stories with me.
I need to know I am not alone....in this rather bizarre predicament I find myself in.

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Dulce Luna
Knowflake

Posts: 4598
From: The Asylum
Registered: Mar 2006

posted June 26, 2007 04:55 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Dulce Luna     Edit/Delete Message
I have this same problem, only I'm really unconscious of the fact that I do it (I would stare alot at my bf without even realizing it before I went out with him...thus making him uncomfortable, and giving myself away ). Its sometimes when I'm staring off into space in someone's direction but not neccesarily at the person, I still make them uncomfortable because they think I'm staring at them anyways.

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InLoveWithLife
Knowflake

Posts: 1530
From: Wonderland
Registered: Aug 2006

posted June 26, 2007 05:02 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for InLoveWithLife     Edit/Delete Message
I usually don't make too much eye contact....unless i am attracted to someone. then its almost impossible to take my eyes off. and its a dead giveaway.

if you are aware you are doing it, you can reduce the eye contact. You know, you don't need to stare at their face to be engaged. it takes a little practice, but u can watch them out of the corner of your eye and still catch every subtle change in facial expression. besides, facial gestures r usually matched by inflexions in voice.

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Dew
Knowflake

Posts: 177
From: UK
Registered: Dec 2006

posted June 26, 2007 05:26 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Dew     Edit/Delete Message
Ahh, too cute, Dulce Leche
I used to be unconscious of this thing I do too.
Alas, now it is different

ILWL,
I hear you.

Guys thanks for your comments.
I just need to stop making it a big deal.
And just out my energy into other things....like staring people out instead.

X

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Highly_Inflammable
Knowflake

Posts: 330
From: some where far and forgotten
Registered: Apr 2007

posted June 26, 2007 07:08 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Highly_Inflammable     Edit/Delete Message
.... just post a pic.... it has been ages since I saw a pair of POWERFUL, demanding eyes....

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Dulce Luna
Knowflake

Posts: 4598
From: The Asylum
Registered: Mar 2006

posted June 26, 2007 11:54 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Dulce Luna     Edit/Delete Message
What's Dulce Leche mean?


But yeah, it may also have to do with the color and shape of my eyes. Mine are large,black, and almond shaped (I think). They make me look like a scary cat..LOL. I can't stare like ANYWHERE without people being creeped out. Arrrggghh.

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InLoveWithLife
Knowflake

Posts: 1530
From: Wonderland
Registered: Aug 2006

posted June 27, 2007 12:35 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for InLoveWithLife     Edit/Delete Message
Dulce de leche is a type of coffee in Starbucks

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Mirandee
Knowflake

Posts: 4812
From: South of the Thumb - Taurus, Pisces, Cancer
Registered: Sep 2004

posted June 27, 2007 02:19 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Mirandee     Edit/Delete Message
I stare at people too but it's an unconscious thing. Mostly it is because I am very interested in other people. I am a people watcher. You pick up an awful lot on body language of people.

No one has ever said anything to me about it but I become aware that I am staring when the person looks self-conscious or uncomfortable. I think we all feel uncomfortable being stared at. Anyway when the person looks self-conscious or uncomfortable I just smile at them and then they are okay. Most people just smile back, some nod a hello.

When someone stares at me I just smile at them or nod and they are okay and leave me alone. I am more reluctant to smile or nod at some men though. The ones that give me the creeps. lol

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Xodian
Moderator

Posts: 1699
From: Canada
Registered: Dec 2006

posted June 27, 2007 03:10 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Xodian     Edit/Delete Message
Well no point in denying it.

Yes my girl has powerful eyes. What she doesn't know is they are just way too powerful; Kinda like a battering ram just banging away at the castle doors; just inching closer to the inner sanctuary that I call "The inner private chamber of Xodian."

So all I can do is keep throwing obsticles along her way before her peepers invade my inner chambers. Yes... I am still quite a private person and some thoughts are just mines and mines alone and I really don't wanna share (yeah, call me selfish Lol! )

Plus it keeps the mystery alive; I know she won't stop trying to batter down the gates and I am gonna continue repelling her sieges .

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Dew
Knowflake

Posts: 177
From: UK
Registered: Dec 2006

posted June 27, 2007 06:15 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Dew     Edit/Delete Message
This thread is not over.
I'm about to board a plane.
But I will post a pic as soon as I can.
Can you guys please give me a heads-up on how to do so.
Is it a simple copy and paste link job?

Xodian,
I would say I got them eyes!!
I stare to seek the truth.
Unconsciously.
I just simply cannot stand lies and bull.
So when I talk, I can see that that is what I am looking for.
Hence the 'demanding' eyes, I guess.
My eyes see through the masks.
You know...I have decided to own it as a character trait. I wasn't looking to change it, just to tone it down.
But there are plenty of people, who can stand The Gaze
I recently had a conversation with a buddhist and it was beautiful to be able to speak and feel deeply relaxed whilst looking into somebody's eyes.
Truly the windows to the soul.....


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Dew
Knowflake

Posts: 177
From: UK
Registered: Dec 2006

posted June 27, 2007 06:19 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Dew     Edit/Delete Message
Dulce...hahah,
you are also a delicious flavour of Haagen Dazs.
I'm slurping as I type!

Your eyes sound beautiful.
Put a picture up, up, up.

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Dulce Luna
Knowflake

Posts: 4598
From: The Asylum
Registered: Mar 2006

posted June 27, 2007 10:24 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Dulce Luna     Edit/Delete Message
quote:
Dulce de leche is a type of coffee in Starbucks

Really then? It must be Spanish too because I just asked my Portuguese speaking grandfather what it meant and he has no idea. Of course, Dulce is not even Portuguese anyways.

quote:
Dulce...hahah,
you are also a delicious flavour of Haagen Dazs.
I'm slurping as I type!

Man, I need to get out for breakfast more often.

But yeah, I'm the type of person who can sense when people are bullsh%tting me too ( I'm so damn Intuitive). Maybe people can sense it in my eyes and it scares them ( X-Ray Vision..LOL). Its definitely a cancer thing, no?

quote:
Your eyes sound beautiful.
Put a picture up, up, up.

Here's one I already posted. Its not clear because its a cameraphone but atleast you can see my eyes.....

http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum7/HTML/005805-73.html

**edited to add**

Dew,

quote:

But I will post a pic as soon as I can.
Can you guys please give me a heads-up on how to do so.
Is it a simple copy and paste link job?

Get a photobucket account if you don't have one. Then, upload pictures from your computer and save them. And then, copy the link next to the pic where it says BBCODE (for forums). And then, paste it here.

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Mirandee
Knowflake

Posts: 4812
From: South of the Thumb - Taurus, Pisces, Cancer
Registered: Sep 2004

posted June 27, 2007 11:58 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Mirandee     Edit/Delete Message
The direct eye contact when talking to someone can be unnerving to other people.

I realize this and do avert my eyes from time to time in conservation. On the most part I do make direct eye contact when listening to the other person. Mostly I do that because I am very interested in what the other is saying. I know I get the feeling that someone is not actually listening to what I am saying if they are looking off somewhere else. It's due to what you guys said, I get perceptions about the other person by gazing into their eyes when they are speaking. I think there is truth in the saying that "the eyes are the windows of the soul."

Basically I unconsciously stare at others because I am sizing them up, feeling them out. Same as what you stated, Dew. As I stated you get more information about a person from their body language than from what they actually say. That's face to face. Person to person.

I can also perceive a lot about people on the internet on forums such as this from how they word things. Their choice of words. Because speech is a part of body language too. Is this the case with you guys as well?

Some people claim that cannot be done on the internet because you can't see the rest of the body language. I guess that is true to a degree. However, you can tell a lot about a person from their writing, choice of words, what they write.

For instance. On forums such as this I get highly suspicious of people who are constantly talking about themselves, telling others what they are like instead of allowing us to draw our own conclusions as people normally do from what others say and their actions. We all talk about ourselves on occasion and nothing wrong with that, but people who it seems always talk about themselves and who seem to constantly in some way be reinforcing this message of what they are like tells me they have created an image of themselves that in all probability does not exist in reality and they need to keep reinforcing that image to maintain it.

I can just perceive when others on the internet are just being themselves and when they are not. Was wondering if that is also the case with the rest of you.

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Mirandee
Knowflake

Posts: 4812
From: South of the Thumb - Taurus, Pisces, Cancer
Registered: Sep 2004

posted June 27, 2007 12:04 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Mirandee     Edit/Delete Message
Xodian

What you said seems to be a man thing.

Rarely do you find a man who is completely open about themselves and unguarded with women. I can tell you from my experience with male friends that it's a real treat when you do find one who is completely open. They tend to become close friends for life.

However, it's also true that there is much to said about mystery. We all love to try and unravel a mystery. Same thing applies to the mystique of women where men are concerned.

On the internet you seem to be more open than most men in that you are very expressive with your opinions on different topics. It's one of the things I like about you in fact.

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Dulce Luna
Knowflake

Posts: 4598
From: The Asylum
Registered: Mar 2006

posted June 27, 2007 12:09 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Dulce Luna     Edit/Delete Message
quote:
I can also perceive a lot about people on the internet on forums such as this from how they word things. Their choice of words. Because speech is a part of body language too. Is this the case with you guys as well?

Hell yes. I can easily read people through the internet. I can pick up on their feelings, and also get vibes from too (like whether or not they're being real, phoney-bologni, or over-compensating).

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Azalaksh
Knowflake

Posts: 6485
From: New Brighton, MN, USA
Registered: Nov 2004

posted June 27, 2007 01:58 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Azalaksh     Edit/Delete Message
Just curious.....
How many people in this string have Moon or Merc in Cancer, Scorpio or Pisces, or the 4th/8th/12th house?? Or a Watery Ascendant??

I like people with "The Gaze", Dew I like to connect with a "peer" in this manner. If neither of us is squirmy/uncomfortable, then these are the people I want for friends, because that sends a message to me that they are honest about their feelings and don't feel like they need to hide anything.....

I wonder if it's necessarily *just* your eyes -- perhaps it's the force of your focus/concentration on what others are saying, people can sense that.

An interesting experiment?? Instead of focusing your Searchlight/Laserbeam eyes on someone when you're listening hard, turn off the beam and concentrate on what makes its way into your perception all by itself without being probed

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Dulce Luna
Knowflake

Posts: 4598
From: The Asylum
Registered: Mar 2006

posted June 27, 2007 03:18 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Dulce Luna     Edit/Delete Message
quote:
Just curious.....
How many people in this string have Moon or Merc in Cancer, Scorpio or Pisces, or the 4th/8th/12th house?? Or a Watery Ascendant??

Hehe,

mercury in cancer
moon in the 8th

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Mirandee
Knowflake

Posts: 4812
From: South of the Thumb - Taurus, Pisces, Cancer
Registered: Sep 2004

posted June 27, 2007 11:56 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Mirandee     Edit/Delete Message
I have Cancer as my ascendant and a Pisces moon, Zala.

DL, Same here. Makes us a threat to some folks I would think.

quote:
Hell yes. I can easily read people through the internet. I can pick up on their feelings, and also get vibes from too (like whether or not they're being real, phoney-bologni, or over-compensating).


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BlueTopaz124
Knowflake

Posts: 1382
From: Portland, OR
Registered: Jan 2004

posted June 28, 2007 12:13 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for BlueTopaz124     Edit/Delete Message
I know my gaze unnerves people - it's my Mercury in Scorpio (12th no less) absorbing information and it's intense so people feel it. Because of this, I make a point of not staring, although I love to people-watch too. I pretty much get it all with a glance anyways.

It's difficult when I am in class and concentrating on the lecturer, that person will often become uncomfortable because it's so intense. If I am concentrating on the subject, I forget I'm doing it many times.

It's also that whole energy thing. Have you ever stared at someone from a distance and they turn to look your way. It's because energy is tangible and you're sending it out to them.

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Dulce Luna
Knowflake

Posts: 4598
From: The Asylum
Registered: Mar 2006

posted June 28, 2007 02:48 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Dulce Luna     Edit/Delete Message
quote:
DL, Same here. Makes us a threat to some folks I would think


Yep.

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Xodian
Moderator

Posts: 1699
From: Canada
Registered: Dec 2006

posted June 28, 2007 03:21 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Xodian     Edit/Delete Message
quote:
Xodian
What you said seems to be a man thing.

Rarely do you find a man who is completely open about themselves and unguarded with women. I can tell you from my experience with male friends that it's a real treat when you do find one who is completely open. They tend to become close friends for life.

However, it's also true that there is much to said about mystery. We all love to try and unravel a mystery. Same thing applies to the mystique of women where men are concerned.

On the internet you seem to be more open than most men in that you are very expressive with your opinions on different topics. It's one of the things I like about you in fact.


Its not just limited to women Mirandee and its not about being on guard about one's feelings; Its more about marking our own territory .

See its a matter of fact that people do need their personal space and well thoughts fall under that category as well. Some thoughts and feelings are just our own to keep and well its not gonna change any relationship one bit if we openly tell them or not (although... I do wonder what it would be like to whirl Neve Campbell around an Imaginary ballroom...) I joke I joke! Lol!

And besides... you know you girls love the tall, dark and mysterious types so why not jut let your guys keep their thoughts . As you said, it certainly keeps the surprises comming. My girl didn't know that I love cooking for instance... Big surprise there LOL!

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future_uncertain
Knowflake

Posts: 2681
From: ohio
Registered: Aug 2004

posted June 28, 2007 03:26 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for future_uncertain     Edit/Delete Message
Isn't Dulce de Leche something like caramel? Dulce means "sweet" or something to that effect and leche means "milk."

I think of it every time I see her name, too. I had some DdL icecream once and it was fabulous! Tasted something like a Werther's.

But back to the eye thing. I have a hard time knowing where to look when I'm conversing with someone, and sometimes things get awkward. I do not have powerful eyes, but I am a starer!

8 )

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