I think it's so nice you make such an effort to understand her and meet her needs. She is very lucky to have you in her life.What I would like to point out about her is that while yes she is one who needs to express her anger (which I believe will come quickly and go just as fast as it suddenly appeared)because of her aries moon and mars, but she also has a need for peace. Her libra rising isn't comfortable with disruptions and arguments, and with jupiter and mc in cancer, and cappy sun, she will try to protect herself from disruption and critisim....very sensitive and insecure.
I think you should find outlets for her mars and moon aries...like sports or something that requires her some physical and otherwise release. Get her involved in a safe and positive way for her to hit,push, yell(cheering,shouting), and opportunities to lead if she is feeling charged. (maybe martial arts)
Surround her with beauty, as a libra she will respond well to pretty and pleasant things simply being in her immediate environment.
With saturn in gemini in the 8th(this is where she will resist because it feels threatening). I think you will be hard pressed to get this girl to open up verabally , but you can appeal to her desire to nurture and get her to open up emotionally by giving her something to take care of and love, basically something to mother, like a pet. (her jupiter in cancer is where she will expand and blossom)
One last word. Her 3rd house ruler is squared to her moon/ and saturn is in gemini. Be sensitive to any feelings of being "stupid" or "dumb", this is one of her raw areas.
I WISH YOU SUCH GOOD LUCK!