T O P I C R E V I E W |
Ami Anne | I am facing parts of myself that I couldn't. There are people in my real life that I want to hurt in a cold blooded way. Some people have hurt me and violated me when I was too weak to defend myself. THEN, they blamed ME for being too sensitive etc. I have a cold blooded part which could hurt them. I have a cold blooded part which can defend myself, too. I have not faced it cuz I thought it was "bad" : part of the whole "bad" complex : parts of me I split off so I could be "good" |
Ami Anne | When Frozen Queen was talking about her anger, I realized that I am dishonest about who I am--very. I don't want to be, anymore. The hard energies are the Mars/Pluto ones. My Mars is in Cancer which IS an indirect expression of drive. That is an actual issue which I need to face but it is more than that. I have been lying to MYSELF about my basic nature which has all sides to it.
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Nephthys | Ami, it's okay. Don't be so hard on yourself. You are YOU. You are YOU FOR A REASON I think we chose to be born under certain aspects for learning. Anger is always temporary. You can rise above it, just do the right thing. The Universe will take care of the other person. |
Ami Anne | Dear Nep I have to laugh. You are the second person who said that to me this morning lolI don;t know if you had this with your mother but the LAST thing I ever wanted to be like was her. I used to repeat it as a mantra as a kid."I am NOT like her" Literally, I repeated it over and over and as long as I could SEE that, I was sane. Then, I couldn't see it anymore and I lost myself, my sense of self. Well,guess what everyone would tell her lol? "Don't be so hard on yourself" I have to laugh cuz I got to be like her. I am not saying this against YOUR sentiment, Nep, just at some crazy irony Thank you for your sweet post
PS Seriously ,Nep. I appreciate it LOL ------------------ Pluto conjunct Dejanira, Girlfriend.
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Ami Anne | dp |
Diablo | Your Pluto is beautiful, like you, as its a part of you xoxoxo |
Nephthys | Nope, nothing to do with my mother, I don't recall her ever saying that to me. It's how I felt when I read your post. One thing my mother HAS told me, when I had something to do that I felt was difficult or challening........... "If other people could do it, you can do it." |
Ami Anne | ((((Diablo))) You make me cry,Friend |
Diablo | Only good tears I hope! xoxoxoxo |
Ami Anne | Dear Nep It is a slow climb out of the hole of erosion of your self .Thanks for being my friend! Ami |
Ami Anne | Yes ,Diablo, good tears. Good tears are very strange. You get so overwhelmed with good feelings that you cry. PDF, tells me I could swing both ways. I, always ,protest cuz this sista is hetero lol But if I wasn't--You would be my choice |
Ami Anne | I feel better ((((Diablo))) (((Nep))) and (((Lalalinda))) for her sweet email I guess I will just keep trying to be real and find that I am OK and just like anyone else---good and bad lol |
Ami Anne | Diablo helped me to clarify what I was trying to say. I shut my Pluto down so it's coming up is almost like a Kundalini experience lolI could not express that until I talked to her more about it . I had pushed aside a whole part of myself, literally I am sorry if I am repeating the same thing over and over. I feel like I dig out of the hole a little at a time. Sorry if I am being super repetitive ------------------ Pluto conjunct Dejanira, Girlfriend. |
Nephthys | It's your thread, you don't have to apologize for anything ~ Life is evolution ~ |
Ami Anne | Thank you Nep I think this thread will be about getting my Pluto back. Maybe , when I get it back, the thread will disappear like the thread "Is my Mother Evil " did ------------------ Pluto conjunct Dejanira, Girlfriend. |
Nephthys | I never saw that thread No matter how bad we might be feeling one day, we always feel better later on, or the next day |
Ami Anne | Nep That bad boy had 600 posts. The last hundred were music, though ------------------ Pluto conjunct Dejanira, Girlfriend. |