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Author Topic:   My Pluto
Ami Anne
Knowflake

Posts: 730
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010

posted September 27, 2010 09:05 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message
I am facing parts of myself that I couldn't.
There are people in my real life that I want to hurt in a cold blooded way.

Some people have hurt me and violated me when I was too weak to defend myself. THEN, they blamed ME for being too sensitive etc.

I have a cold blooded part which could hurt them.

I have a cold blooded part which can defend myself, too.

I have not faced it cuz I thought it was "bad" : part of the whole "bad" complex : parts of me I split off so I could be "good"

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Ami Anne
Knowflake

Posts: 730
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010

posted September 27, 2010 09:07 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message
When Frozen Queen was talking about her anger, I realized that I am dishonest about who I am--very.

I don't want to be, anymore.

The hard energies are the Mars/Pluto ones.
My Mars is in Cancer which IS an indirect expression of drive.

That is an actual issue which I need to face but it is more than that.

I have been lying to MYSELF about my basic nature which has all sides to it.


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Nephthys
Moderator

Posts: 857
From: California
Registered: Apr 2009

posted September 27, 2010 12:09 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Nephthys     Edit/Delete Message
Ami, it's okay. Don't be so hard on yourself. You are YOU. You are YOU FOR A REASON I think we chose to be born under certain aspects for learning.

Anger is always temporary. You can rise above it, just do the right thing. The Universe will take care of the other person.

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Ami Anne
Knowflake

Posts: 730
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010

posted September 27, 2010 12:20 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message
Dear Nep
I have to laugh. You are the second person who said that to me this morning lol

I don;t know if you had this with your mother but the LAST thing I ever wanted to be like was her.
I used to repeat it as a mantra as a kid."I am NOT like her"
Literally, I repeated it over and over and as long as I could SEE that, I was sane.

Then, I couldn't see it anymore and I lost myself, my sense of self.

Well,guess what everyone would tell her lol?

"Don't be so hard on yourself"

I have to laugh cuz I got to be like her.


I am not saying this against YOUR sentiment, Nep, just at some crazy irony
Thank you for your sweet post

PS Seriously ,Nep. I appreciate it LOL


------------------
Pluto conjunct Dejanira, Girlfriend.

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Ami Anne
Knowflake

Posts: 730
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010

posted September 27, 2010 12:20 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message
dp

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Diablo
Knowflake

Posts: 643
From: Melbourne, Australia
Registered: May 2009

posted September 27, 2010 12:31 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Diablo     Edit/Delete Message
Your Pluto is beautiful, like you, as its a part of you xoxoxo

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Nephthys
Moderator

Posts: 857
From: California
Registered: Apr 2009

posted September 27, 2010 12:35 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Nephthys     Edit/Delete Message
Nope, nothing to do with my mother, I don't recall her ever saying that to me.

It's how I felt when I read your post.

One thing my mother HAS told me, when I had something to do that I felt was difficult or challening...........

"If other people could do it, you can do it."

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Ami Anne
Knowflake

Posts: 730
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010

posted September 27, 2010 12:42 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message
((((Diablo)))
You make me cry,Friend

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Diablo
Knowflake

Posts: 643
From: Melbourne, Australia
Registered: May 2009

posted September 27, 2010 12:44 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Diablo     Edit/Delete Message
Only good tears I hope! xoxoxoxo

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Ami Anne
Knowflake

Posts: 730
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010

posted September 27, 2010 12:45 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message
Dear Nep
It is a slow climb out of the hole of erosion of your self .Thanks for being my friend!
Ami

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Ami Anne
Knowflake

Posts: 730
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010

posted September 27, 2010 12:51 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message
Yes ,Diablo, good tears.
Good tears are very strange.
You get so overwhelmed with good feelings that you cry.
PDF, tells me I could swing both ways. I, always ,protest cuz this sista is hetero lol

But if I wasn't--You would be my choice

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Ami Anne
Knowflake

Posts: 730
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010

posted September 27, 2010 01:04 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message
I feel better ((((Diablo))) (((Nep))) and (((Lalalinda))) for her sweet email

I guess I will just keep trying to be real and find that I am OK and just like anyone else---good and bad lol

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Ami Anne
Knowflake

Posts: 730
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010

posted September 27, 2010 02:13 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message
Diablo helped me to clarify what I was trying to say.
I shut my Pluto down so it's coming up is almost like a Kundalini experience lol

I could not express that until I talked to her more about it .
I had pushed aside a whole part of myself, literally
I am sorry if I am repeating the same thing over and over.
I feel like I dig out of the hole a little at a time.
Sorry if I am being super repetitive

------------------
Pluto conjunct Dejanira, Girlfriend.

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Nephthys
Moderator

Posts: 857
From: California
Registered: Apr 2009

posted September 27, 2010 03:10 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Nephthys     Edit/Delete Message
It's your thread, you don't have to apologize for anything ~

Life is evolution ~

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Ami Anne
Knowflake

Posts: 730
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010

posted September 27, 2010 03:26 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message
Thank you Nep
I think this thread will be about getting my Pluto back. Maybe , when I get it back, the thread will disappear like the thread "Is my Mother Evil " did

------------------
Pluto conjunct Dejanira, Girlfriend.

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Nephthys
Moderator

Posts: 857
From: California
Registered: Apr 2009

posted September 27, 2010 04:13 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Nephthys     Edit/Delete Message
I never saw that thread

No matter how bad we might be feeling one day, we always feel better later on, or the next day

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Ami Anne
Knowflake

Posts: 730
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010

posted September 27, 2010 04:59 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message
Nep
That bad boy had 600 posts.
The last hundred were music, though

------------------
Pluto conjunct Dejanira, Girlfriend.

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