Thanks for the responses.----------------------------------------
Sand:
check harsh aspects to saturn. mine shows up sun opposition saturn.
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His Saturn doesn't form aspects with my sun but I do feel the subtle aspects to my Asc. His ascendant trines mine(wide orb).
We are actually starting to physically resemble each other , although he is 6" tall and I am about 5"6.
MsCandeh:
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If there is any way to talk to him, no matter how old you are, maybe try this. There will always be resistance at first but keep hammering away at it and I am sure you will get through. It's worth it.
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Thanks for the input.
Honestly, I don't think that I can keep trying with him. It hurts a great deal to even talk to him.Some years earlier I wrote a letter to him expressing everything that I felt.
It was hugely emotional, and I thought that perhaps this could do it. Maybe he couldn't see how I felt? Maybe he just didn't understand who I was ?
I wrote the letter to somehow bridge this gap , but the effort fell on deaf ears: He simply ignored the letter and didn't seem to care.
Benedict Moon:
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I have a very similar issue to yours and I'm actually reaching that fork in the road myself concerning whether I keep in contact with him or whether I should just finally cut him off like the gangrene extremity he's been to me. ___________________________________________
Please let me know how that all goes.
Dealing with my father in this way is not really out of spite , but more out of exhaustion; I just want a clean slate.
I could never deal with people in my life that were emotioonally cold, I don't think that I can stomach this any longer, even if he is a parent.It just hurts...a lot.
dysfunctionalmystic
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I'd say you need to stop trying to love and respect him. If it isn't there...it isn't there. Maybe once you stop looking you'll be able to see him for who he is and THEN you'll be able to love and respect him for who he really is instead of who you think he is...
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I hear you and yes, I have stepped off trying to have him be what he ought to be to me and imagining that if he were that, my life would be different(I believe the term for such a thought is "forgiveness")
It's not a question of wanting anything from him, I just know that he is not interested in giving me anything. It's just really hard to distinguish what to do about a person who is in your life without your choice.
When I was young, I used to fear him. Everytime he came through the door I used to wonder if I left the gate closed, the dishes washed etc. My dad used to to cain us for silly reasons(or atleast I believed at the time).
My sister and I used to know when the beatings would come and we loathed him. He would lock us in a room, close the curtains and beat us until we screamed. It was hell.
My mother at first cheered him on(she also comes from the old school of thought where disciplining a child physically is best). She believed that we deserved it and always took his side.
I find it hard to believe that it is aspects alone causing all this because my mother also has a similar chart but she never laid a hand on us.
My dad always believed that she was too soft on us; whenever we did something that she didn't approve of, she instead would sit us down and lecture us as to why that particular thing we did was inappropriate etc. We never disrespecetd her and even prefered her method to that of my Dad's
Her positions:
Sun Sag 10
Moon Taurus 10
Mercury Scorpio 16
Venus in Capricorn 10
Mars in Cancer 17
Saturn in Capricorn 17
Jupiter in Pisces 8
I appreciate all your responses and yes I did suspect that Venus-Saturn conjuction had a role to play.
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For cutting parental ties...the best time is the saturn return and you'll have yours sometime june- october 2013. This is the point where we actually begin to parent ourselves fully.
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And as for the Saturn return, I simply cannot wait. Perhaps, psychologicaly, my weight will be lifted.
At least, or hopefully, I'll start to acknowledge that I have been fathering myself all thorugh my life and you know what, I didn't do such a bad job at it....
Thanks everyone. Love and peace