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T O P I C R E V I E Wstarmoonhi all - i have been dating a venus in aqua man for quite some time now but it has progressed into a more physical realm recently. but, i find that i must do ALL the initiating in terms of affection (hugs, kisses, holding hands, etc). i know he doesn't use words of affection often (this was discussed by us before dating), but he never mentioned having a problem with showing physical affection. he just said he has immense difficulty with words.was he lying? do venus in aqua men have a problem with both the words and actions? or generally not and there may be another reason for this?Neptune'sDaughterI'm a female w/ venus in aqua but I have no problem showing affection or speaking fond/loving words or talking about emotions!! The only time I get 'space-y' is if I'm unsure of where the relationship stands -then I sometime react by giving the other person 'too much' personal space. I too am often stuck being the initiator -but I think once a relationship has been established if the guy's still very cold there's something else going on. Does he have placements/aspects that would help him lean towards partnerships and warm interactions? I think the whole chart overall goes a long way in showing if venus in aqua folks come off as open-minded, embracing humanitarians or cold, detached loners.------------------"You may say that I'm a dreamer but I'm not the only one..."Lonake quote:Originally posted by starmoon:i must do ALL the initiating in terms of affection (hugs, kisses, holding hands, etc).Oh I don't like when that happens. If he is a man, and not under the weather or dealing with some sexuality/intimacy issues, then this is a red flag."i know he doesn't use words of affection often (this was discussed by us before dating)"--This is somewhat common. They say it a few times so you should keep it stuck in your pretty lil head until they say/act otherwise."was he lying? do venus in aqua men have a problem with both the words and actions? or generally not and there may be another reason for this?"--Have you asked him if he's had past neg intimate experiences? I'd rule out performance anxiety, depression, medication, past abuse, stress, etc. all the common factors before trying to pin it on Venus in Aqua. TrueTaurusI think you should look for his Mars placement...This can't be true for all venus in aqua men. I dated a guy with venus in aqua with mars in scorpio, although he never complimented me, he for sure knew what he wanted in the bedroom and took charge. I like my men to be more inititiave and dominating. It's a turn on. The dude is a Pisces/CancerI'm a Taurus/Scorpio/Cancer with Venus in gemini and Mars in Aqua. starmoon quote:Originally posted by TrueTaurus:I think you should look for his Mars placement...This can't be true for all venus in aqua men. I dated a guy with venus in aqua with mars in scorpio, although he never complimented me, he for sure knew what he wanted in the bedroom and took charge. I like my men to be more inititiave and dominating. It's a turn on. The dude is a Pisces/CancerI'm a Taurus/Scorpio/Cancer with Venus in gemini and Mars in Aqua. he's mars in pisces ... maybe that is the problem ... no passion for what they wantCapriquariusIs your Mars in Aqua?TrueTaurusThat makes a lot of sense...I've been with a Mars in Pisces...he does intiate, but he had Moon in Capricorn, Sun in Aqua...Venus in Pisces AND Mars in Pisces. What's his Sun/Moon/Asc? That really has more to do with communicating and expressing their feeling. Venus Aqua just adds to that...I'm assuming Venus in Aqua are very detached and more so if they have lots of air. Plus, he might have trouble expressing his feelings due to fear of rejection and trust. That's a water thing though.YoursTrulyAlwaysVenus in Aquarius here, and in 12th House no less. Absolutely no such problems here. The words flow freely from my mouth and affectionate displays come naturally. Can quickly get me into trouble if I'm not careful. Venus in Aquarius is not detached for me! In my case, its a bunch of hooey!! For me, 12th House being secretive is just more BS!My mouth and my actions got me married extremely quickly. A man cannot win the heart of a woman by shutting up and not showing affection. So, I'll say that something is brewing in your case. Its strange for a man not to want to hold hands/hug/kiss when he loves a woman. As a proud boyfriend, I know I just wanted to do nothing but brag and show my future wife off to everybody when dating. I still perpetually do 19 years later after getting married, much to the chagrin of a couple of people.appleberryVenus in Aqua female here... No trouble with affection but shy about PDA. But I have Aries Sun/Moon, Libra AC and Mars in Gem. My Venus is also in the 5th... An affectionate house...mintgirl123I think venus in aqua show affection in a less smothering, intense kinda way.Venus in cancer might be always cuddling on you, while venus in aqua shows it by always being in a good mood and fun.Desiring Shadowsits not that he has a problem, its thath e feels no need to because love for him is found in different waysdefeataquarius Doreen quote:Originally posted by Lonake: [QUOTE]Originally posted by starmoon:[b]i must do ALL the initiating in terms of affection (hugs, kisses, holding hands, etc).Oh I don't like when that happens. If he is a man, and not under the weather or dealing with some sexuality/intimacy issues, then this is a red flag.Could he be gay ?-r [/B][/QUOTE]Chironrising quote:Originally posted by Doreen: not true Doreen...not true at all hun...I'm venus in aqua and if I had to cuddle to find love i'd feel like a prostitute.aquaguy91what other placements does he have? like sun,ascendant and moon? i am an aquarius sun and ascendant and taurus moon with an aqua venus,and several planets in the eleventh,and as a guy with alot of aquarius energy i have no trouble expressing emotion and affection once a relationship has established,but i can be nervous at first because fear of rejection( been rejected alot unfortunately) but my opinion is that us aqua guys arent cold like alot of women try to make us out its just we are misunderstood and face rejection because of it and end up putting walls up,i want very badly to have a great relationship with a woman,but women always perceive me as weird or creepy and dont understand my sense of humor or views on things so i distance myself alot and then i am perceived as shy,cold,or stuck up,it is tough being an aquarius guy sometimes....aquaguy91what other placements does he have? like sun,ascendant and moon? i am an aquarius sun and ascendant and taurus moon with an aqua venus,and several planets in the eleventh,and as a guy with alot of aquarius energy i have no trouble expressing emotion and affection once a relationship has established,but i can be nervous at first because fear of rejection( been rejected alot unfortunately) but my opinion is that us aqua guys arent cold like alot of women try to make us out its just we are misunderstood and face rejection because of it and end up putting walls up,i want very badly to have a great relationship with a woman,but women always perceive me as weird or creepy and dont understand my sense of humor or views on things so i distance myself alot and then i am perceived as shy,cold,or stuck up,it is tough being an aquarius guy sometimes....starmoon quote:Originally posted by aquaguy91:what other placements does he have? like sun,ascendant and moon? i am an aquarius sun and ascendant and taurus moon with an aqua venus,and several planets in the eleventh,and as a guy with alot of aquarius energy i have no trouble expressing emotion and affection once a relationship has established,but i can be nervous at first because fear of rejection( been rejected alot unfortunately) but my opinion is that us aqua guys arent cold like alot of women try to make us out its just we are misunderstood and face rejection because of it and end up putting walls up,i want very badly to have a great relationship with a woman,but women always perceive me as weird or creepy and dont understand my sense of humor or views on things so i distance myself alot and then i am perceived as shy,cold,or stuck up,it is tough being an aquarius guy sometimes....he has an aqua sun/leo moon/virgo asc. - his moon and sun are 100% opposite and i have noticed he is far more leo moon than aqua sun. he is very old-fashioned and romantic and gives small gifts and tokens, but just no affection unless i try for it. i am starting to perceive him as a 'cold fish' and have started to distance myself somewhat. it's almost as though he won't allow us to get emotionally close, or at least won't allow himself. your insight is helpful aquaguy, thanksbluegreyeyesI am a female with aqua in venus (12th) and mars in pisces (12th) -- i can only speak for myself but i am not comfortable with a lot of public affection. making out on the street? embarrassing not passionate. but when head over heels, that didn't matter..... the "fools in love" rule applied. it's just the demonstrative romantic stuff makes me kinda weird.i do not have any problems communicating my feelings or giving verbal affection.... or snuggling and cuddling in private.... but for me, it's not about putting myself or my relationship on display. maybe the 12th house hidden thing has something to do with it? ------------------Aqua SunGem MoonAries RIsingNeptune'sDaughter quote:Originally posted by starmoon: he has an aqua sun/leo moon/virgo asc. - his moon and sun are 100% opposite and i have noticed he is far more leo moon than aqua sun. he is very old-fashioned and romantic and gives small gifts and tokens, but just no affection unless i try for it. i am starting to perceive him as a 'cold fish' and have started to distance myself somewhat. it's almost as though he won't allow us to get emotionally close, or at least won't allow himself. your insight is helpful aquaguy, thanksIn my experience and in my venus in Aqua, if you distance yourself from Aquarian energy the person will either keep this distance or further it -not out of spite or anything like that- but because Aquarius is one of the few signs that really knows the higher loving shown in loving/caring about/trusting someone so much you give them their space. He will probably perceive you as needing your space and will give it to you to 'show' he cares. I would look at his moon opp sun (internal struggle, emotions at odds?) and his virgo rising as well. Virgos have much affection to give but can sometimes be anal about the hows and whens to give it. I've known several virgo risings, one my close friend with Aqua sun -she is somewhat detached and surveying but does show affection for suitors, etc. but not by cuddling. The other one I know is a virgo moon and libra sun and she just cannot let go to even really begin a relationship much -although she is caring and giving in the social relationships that she allows (if flakey lol). She mostly does caretaking things and gives gifts.You say that he is giving tokens and gifts and so maybe it is not fair for you to say that he does not give affection?! As the phrase goes 'tokens OF HIS AFFECTON'! Leo is very demonstrative and Virgo is an earth sign and they often show love/care by providing and gifting things to those that they love. I can understand how this can seem insufficient if you need more 'cuddle time' (my mom is virgo and sometimes she would just get me things or take care of certain things when really I needed one-to-one affection time -and yes, again, I am a venus in Aqua! lol), however, I've learned that the sooner one is able to recognize and truly APPRECIATE and acknowledge how the other person gives affection, the sooner they feel SAFE enough to try NEW ways of giving affection, i.e. YOURS!------------------"You may say that I'm a dreamer but I'm not the only one..."appleberry quote:Originally posted by Doreen: I agree that it is a red flag... he seems to be just not feeling it and that would scare me...IndigoDiraeJust my $0.03.My Dad's an Aqua Venus-Sun, with Leo Moon. He married a VERY proud Leo woman and, 37 years of marriage later, STILL knows - and delights! - in romancing her at EVERY turn. So, this seems odd to me for a lunar Leo man. They've been among the most romantic men I've known, honestly. And showy, goodness. There must be something REALLY afflicting that Moon. Or Venus.------------------Stargazing in Hollyweird,-AMP--Karma's a b*tch.'LACHESIS': a new transgressive urban fantasy series from Envision Dramatic Artists. Premiering December, 2012.
was he lying? do venus in aqua men have a problem with both the words and actions? or generally not and there may be another reason for this?
------------------"You may say that I'm a dreamer but I'm not the only one..."
quote:Originally posted by starmoon:i must do ALL the initiating in terms of affection (hugs, kisses, holding hands, etc).
"i know he doesn't use words of affection often (this was discussed by us before dating)"--This is somewhat common. They say it a few times so you should keep it stuck in your pretty lil head until they say/act otherwise.
"was he lying? do venus in aqua men have a problem with both the words and actions? or generally not and there may be another reason for this?"--Have you asked him if he's had past neg intimate experiences? I'd rule out performance anxiety, depression, medication, past abuse, stress, etc. all the common factors before trying to pin it on Venus in Aqua.
I'm a Taurus/Scorpio/Cancer with Venus in gemini and Mars in Aqua.
quote:Originally posted by TrueTaurus:I think you should look for his Mars placement...This can't be true for all venus in aqua men. I dated a guy with venus in aqua with mars in scorpio, although he never complimented me, he for sure knew what he wanted in the bedroom and took charge. I like my men to be more inititiave and dominating. It's a turn on. The dude is a Pisces/CancerI'm a Taurus/Scorpio/Cancer with Venus in gemini and Mars in Aqua.
he's mars in pisces ... maybe that is the problem ... no passion for what they want
What's his Sun/Moon/Asc? That really has more to do with communicating and expressing their feeling. Venus Aqua just adds to that...I'm assuming Venus in Aqua are very detached and more so if they have lots of air. Plus, he might have trouble expressing his feelings due to fear of rejection and trust. That's a water thing though.
Venus in Aquarius is not detached for me! In my case, its a bunch of hooey!! For me, 12th House being secretive is just more BS!
My mouth and my actions got me married extremely quickly. A man cannot win the heart of a woman by shutting up and not showing affection. So, I'll say that something is brewing in your case.
Its strange for a man not to want to hold hands/hug/kiss when he loves a woman. As a proud boyfriend, I know I just wanted to do nothing but brag and show my future wife off to everybody when dating. I still perpetually do 19 years later after getting married, much to the chagrin of a couple of people.
Venus in cancer might be always cuddling on you, while venus in aqua shows it by always being in a good mood and fun.
quote:Originally posted by Lonake: [QUOTE]Originally posted by starmoon:[b]i must do ALL the initiating in terms of affection (hugs, kisses, holding hands, etc).
Could he be gay ?-r [/B][/QUOTE]
quote:Originally posted by Doreen:
not true Doreen...not true at all hun...I'm venus in aqua and if I had to cuddle to find love i'd feel like a prostitute.
quote:Originally posted by aquaguy91:what other placements does he have? like sun,ascendant and moon? i am an aquarius sun and ascendant and taurus moon with an aqua venus,and several planets in the eleventh,and as a guy with alot of aquarius energy i have no trouble expressing emotion and affection once a relationship has established,but i can be nervous at first because fear of rejection( been rejected alot unfortunately) but my opinion is that us aqua guys arent cold like alot of women try to make us out its just we are misunderstood and face rejection because of it and end up putting walls up,i want very badly to have a great relationship with a woman,but women always perceive me as weird or creepy and dont understand my sense of humor or views on things so i distance myself alot and then i am perceived as shy,cold,or stuck up,it is tough being an aquarius guy sometimes....
he has an aqua sun/leo moon/virgo asc. - his moon and sun are 100% opposite and i have noticed he is far more leo moon than aqua sun. he is very old-fashioned and romantic and gives small gifts and tokens, but just no affection unless i try for it. i am starting to perceive him as a 'cold fish' and have started to distance myself somewhat. it's almost as though he won't allow us to get emotionally close, or at least won't allow himself. your insight is helpful aquaguy, thanks
i do not have any problems communicating my feelings or giving verbal affection.... or snuggling and cuddling in private.... but for me, it's not about putting myself or my relationship on display. maybe the 12th house hidden thing has something to do with it?
------------------Aqua SunGem MoonAries RIsing
quote:Originally posted by starmoon: he has an aqua sun/leo moon/virgo asc. - his moon and sun are 100% opposite and i have noticed he is far more leo moon than aqua sun. he is very old-fashioned and romantic and gives small gifts and tokens, but just no affection unless i try for it. i am starting to perceive him as a 'cold fish' and have started to distance myself somewhat. it's almost as though he won't allow us to get emotionally close, or at least won't allow himself. your insight is helpful aquaguy, thanks
In my experience and in my venus in Aqua, if you distance yourself from Aquarian energy the person will either keep this distance or further it -not out of spite or anything like that- but because Aquarius is one of the few signs that really knows the higher loving shown in loving/caring about/trusting someone so much you give them their space. He will probably perceive you as needing your space and will give it to you to 'show' he cares. I would look at his moon opp sun (internal struggle, emotions at odds?) and his virgo rising as well. Virgos have much affection to give but can sometimes be anal about the hows and whens to give it. I've known several virgo risings, one my close friend with Aqua sun -she is somewhat detached and surveying but does show affection for suitors, etc. but not by cuddling. The other one I know is a virgo moon and libra sun and she just cannot let go to even really begin a relationship much -although she is caring and giving in the social relationships that she allows (if flakey lol). She mostly does caretaking things and gives gifts.
You say that he is giving tokens and gifts and so maybe it is not fair for you to say that he does not give affection?! As the phrase goes 'tokens OF HIS AFFECTON'! Leo is very demonstrative and Virgo is an earth sign and they often show love/care by providing and gifting things to those that they love. I can understand how this can seem insufficient if you need more 'cuddle time' (my mom is virgo and sometimes she would just get me things or take care of certain things when really I needed one-to-one affection time -and yes, again, I am a venus in Aqua! lol), however, I've learned that the sooner one is able to recognize and truly APPRECIATE and acknowledge how the other person gives affection, the sooner they feel SAFE enough to try NEW ways of giving affection, i.e. YOURS!
I agree that it is a red flag... he seems to be just not feeling it and that would scare me...
My Dad's an Aqua Venus-Sun, with Leo Moon. He married a VERY proud Leo woman and, 37 years of marriage later, STILL knows - and delights! - in romancing her at EVERY turn.
So, this seems odd to me for a lunar Leo man. They've been among the most romantic men I've known, honestly. And showy, goodness. There must be something REALLY afflicting that Moon. Or Venus.
------------------Stargazing in Hollyweird,
-AMP
--
Karma's a b*tch.
'LACHESIS': a new transgressive urban fantasy series from Envision Dramatic Artists. Premiering December, 2012.
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