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T O P I C R E V I E WHeart--Shaped CrossI would trouble no man,Having found his peace,Lest by another's miseryHe has secured that lease;Men thus contentmust think it meetto go their way,though in deceit,And find in meA gadfly and a sodOf little worth or usethough instrument of God;Yea, those who wouldThis ministry dispelWould just as soonDispense with His gospel.Then, shall I be disturbedIn heart, or nerve, or mindIngratitude, neglect, and scornIn them to find?taureau20Bending and twisting all over to make rhyme...too much twisting action in the last stanza, I think... Heart--Shaped CrossI appreciate the contructive criticism, but bear in mind that you are only voicing your opinion, and tastes differ widely. I'm sure, if I wanted to, I could eviscerate your poems by pointing out everything in them that does not perfectly meet the standards of my personal tastes. Instead, I choose to encourage what is best in them, and not contribute to your insecurity. You might trying sprinkling your critical comments with a recognition of something in the poem that works. It can't be all bad.taureau20Well brother/sister, taking criticism is an essential ability of any writer. I really do believe that it is the only way to grow. I would dearly love it if you were to criticize my writings. If you could perform an autopsy and tell me something I don't know, nothing would please me more. I am not lying...I only said what I thought was most important about the poem (per me of course), yeah there are of course a lot of things going good in the poem - but there are always the minutest of things that are prickly and which are the difference between great and good...don't you think? And if those aren't pointed out, then those will remain not pointed out. Yeah, I love my poems too - but when they aren't good, I know they aren't good... But they can never be bad because they are mothers to poems more beautiful than themselves that are yet to come. And that is what has always given me hope...taureau20And come on now, who are we kidding - it is all a game of words and we know it - despite all the emotion and "soul" and love or anything in the poem, it has always been a heartless game of words to the poet. And that is what I was commenting on - casually may be - to a throw of your dice....Heart--Shaped CrossIf it's a game to you, you've lost it. taureau20Oh that's very well said - but it is not just a game of course its not. Its more than life and death itself - but isn't even that a game? Here's something I wrote long, long ago - GameMust I say a wordAnd you tell meWhat it meansMust we babbleOr ratherMust we play scrabbleMust we, or playHide and seek?_____Like it?
Men thus contentmust think it meetto go their way,though in deceit,
And find in meA gadfly and a sodOf little worth or usethough instrument of God;
Yea, those who wouldThis ministry dispelWould just as soonDispense with His gospel.
Then, shall I be disturbedIn heart, or nerve, or mindIngratitude, neglect, and scornIn them to find?
I only said what I thought was most important about the poem (per me of course), yeah there are of course a lot of things going good in the poem - but there are always the minutest of things that are prickly and which are the difference between great and good...don't you think? And if those aren't pointed out, then those will remain not pointed out.
Yeah, I love my poems too - but when they aren't good, I know they aren't good... But they can never be bad because they are mothers to poems more beautiful than themselves that are yet to come. And that is what has always given me hope...
Here's something I wrote long, long ago -
Game
Must I say a wordAnd you tell meWhat it meansMust we babbleOr ratherMust we play scrabble
Must we, or playHide and seek?
_____
Like it?
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