As to the general practise of asteroids in synastry, there are a few hard-and-fast rules which, honestly, I think should be a bit looser.Used to be that the asteroid embodied the energy experienced when encountered by the planet -- or even other point -- person. While that's sometimes the case, it isn't always. I've seen an exact EROS-PSYCHE conjunction be completely neutered due to the PSYCHE energy being inactive in one natal, and, conversely, the MOON in the other's 8H being seen as an annoyance rather than an invitation to deeper intimacy.
But at risk of sounding as if I'm relying upon the 'it's all synthesis!' argument, I'll say this (even though it really cannot be denied -- how much everything is dependent upon everything else): it's safe enough to apply the 'embodies the general energy in the context of the aspect' rule as a safe approach -- but be ready to break it, if need be.
But how do you know? For example, if VALENTINE is the one solely bringing the feelings of true love -- or VENUS is doing so, too?
For me, the lessons have been complicated and hard -- but involving a subject I had some bizarre 'advance knowledge' regarding, and thus, could check my work, as it were. In other words -- some things I knew, and could check to see what the astrology was doing -- rather than the other way around: and estimating how the energies were playing out by the astrology.
That brings me to an old macabre favourite, at this point, which, further research has only solidified -- and independently: my boyfriend's SUN conjunct my LACHESIS/TISIPHONE.
Now, it's a big, big thing when the SUN comes into contact with asteroids; the bigger issue is, whether the SUN is 'illuminating' the asteroid, which is acting as a kind of lens via which the light is now being viewed, or the asteroid is being 'activated' by the SUN, therefore embodying that energy. In other words, from where is the energy originating?
LACHESIS/TISIPHONE is a tough combo. On the one hand, you've got LACHESIS -- which is a death marker. On the other, you've got TISIPHONE -- the Fury known for punishing homicide. If we already know that when tSUN hits natal LACHESIS, it 'activates' the energy of LACHESIS, which has something to do with death, then we could say that the energy is flipped -- like a switch -- by the SUN.
But how the hell would that work in synastry? And what's up with TISIPHONE? Why has a Fury been invited to the party?
In my case, I have a natal marker which combines the two, so that they are inextricable: whether it means 'death as a result of punishing homicide' or 'death by one who punishes homicide' -- that we can't read solely from the conjunction. (Though, spoiler alert: it's both.) All we know is that the SUN 'lights it up' and 'activates' the energy.
So, something about my boyfriend's core identity brings to mind, explores, or 'activates' this strange mix of energies in my own natal: punishment for committing homicide, or those who specifically punish homicide, and how it ensures death.
But when I tell you that he was responsible for killing me in another lifeline -- specifically for committing an act of homicide because of the victim's own acts of homicide -- we can start to see how that could actually make some sense.
(And then you've got his TISIPHONE/HADES on my CHIRON, which is my skipped step square my NODES, and my 'core wound' and -- it just starts to repeat itself like an ouroboros.)
Knowing that, we can start to separate the energies out, too -- starting with his SUN conjunct my LACHESIS. His SUN 'activates' the concept of 'death'. Sure, we know 'death resulting from punishment for committing homicide' -- but only thanks to the presence of TISIPHONE. Otherwise, it's a big vague. Still, we can assign an action verb to it -- LACHESIS being 'death' or 'to die', or even 'cause of death' (as I've seen a few places).
Now we can cheat by just going, 'it's the SUN for chrissake!' because it really is sometimes ALL you need to see; 'damn! It's THE SUN!' but, really, even the SUN, for all its grandeur and glory, does have a deeper identification: specifically, the ego and core identity. And to better understand the astrological association, or planetary picture, we've got to go with the more technical approach. In mundane astrology, it's also men, or masculine energies, or even powerful sovereigns.
Ergo:
SUN conjunct LACHESIS
[ego] illuminates [death]
[core identity] is fused with [death]
[man] is [death]
Well ... ouch. When we break it down to its absolute base roots, 'man is death' would be a pretty damned frightening subconscious trigger. And, ohhhhhhh, that was certainly there. I've become convinced that a person cannot encounter someone to whom they've lost their lives in another lifeline, and not feel an inexplicable sense of impending doom or powerful fear.
Fortunately, we've got TISIPHONE clarifying the part which may have remained vague and disconcerting. Because, 'man is death' only in the context of punishing acts of homicide. Okay, well, we're good in THAT case!
But do you see how, in a weird, and roundabout way, even though I've got the 'scary conjunction', the fact that his SUN is conjunct it is what activates the energy of that conjunction? Further, how a LOT more information needs to be known to REALLY know what's going on?
Here's another example, from the same synastry. Which, honestly, illustrates the more 'standard' principle.
His HOLMES is also conjunct my SUN. So, here we've got the reverse. And, really, everything gets pretty squirrelly when serial killers are cops and profilers are also vigilante killers and vigilante killers are profilers. Eventually your brain just goes, ... wha? The astrology actually reflects this jumble, luckily enough.
HOLMES has been seen in instances of homicide, but most notably serial murder; it's likely named for one of the first known serial killers, H H Holmes. At least, that's how it's being used to great effect in the field of forensic astrology.
So when someone's SUN is conjunct your HOLMES, one thing is surely happening above all: they are 'illuminating' the concept of serial homicide. But how? Well, we'd need to know more about a few things -- and the SUN being on a homicide degree only confuses matters. It's best to then look back at HOLMES, as well as anything else it's conjunct in synastry.
... And we can all just go ahead and laugh right now at the fact that what it also conjuncts in synastry is JODIEFOSTER and VIRGINIA. I'm sorry, 'Silence of the Lambs' what? Ohhh, astrology; you slay me.
Of course, that's not my 'profiler stellium'; that's hanging out in Scorpio, with a host of other dark 'goodies'. This is merely quincunx his karmic 'vigilante killer' stellium -- but not giving up the goods.
Well, he's got HOLMES conjunct MYERS (psychological trauma, PTSD, psychological scarring) but then it's also 0º conjunct my SUN. I've definitely 'illuminated' his own psychological trauma, and we are doing a television series in which the storyline involves serial murder and law enforcement.
I'd think that's it, really, were it not for the other aspects -- and configurations.
Instead, we've got the more standard setup: where the SUN (me) illuminates the asteroid (him). And that makes a lot of sense. He was in downright denial regarding his own psychological scarring before me; plus, I'm a therapist. Perhaps I hit a lot of people's MYERS. But their HOLMES? ... I don't think so.
At any rate, while that was a particular dark trip down the rabbit-hole, it does illustrate the concept rather well, I think.