Hey BlueRoamer,Yes, I've had this experience twice. Once with music school and once with studying with one of the greatest astrologers in the world, so I just might delete this post after I write it.
My advice to you is to stick it out. Get that degree or certificate, even if you have to kiss ass. I say that because I ended up learning a tremendous amount but somehow the fates stopped me just short of getting the degree and certificate. I'm figuring out the lessons of that slowly, but I would have much preferred to have the degree and certificate.
I did the same kind of incredible hard work that you did to get to "The Promise Land" or what I liked to call "The Land of the Pharoahs" and when I got there, it wasn't what I thought it would be at all. And each time it really came down to stroking some professors ego. I was flabergasted at just how blatant it was. I STILL AM!! But here I sit at a desk job that I hate trying to build a music career with no strong contacts and an astrological career as well. It would be a billion times easier with the degree or the certificate.
Here's an interesting bit of information. Saturn rules my 9th House of Higher Education. No matter how hard I have worked in my life to get into college, to get the money for college (including the Astrology Certificate from a Harvard studied psychologist and anthropologist), something always occurred where I would get dismissed or kicked out.
With music school I was totally devestated, I wanted to end it all, it had become my adult life wound. With the Astrology study, which happened 15 years after the college experience, I was surprised that I was able to laugh as I picked myself up. With the astrology, I realized that I had studied this man's various books for 6 years with a fine tooth comb before contacting him to study. When I began to receive the lessons, I wasn't impressed, I was disappointed on some levels that I didn't even want to admit. It took about a year after he dismissed me to realize that I already knew everything he was teaching me and that I was bored with the study.
It doesn't mean he wasn't a good teacher, it just meant that I didn't come to this earth to be "a student". It's just not happening for me. I already had what I needed by the time I got to music school, but my upbringing told me that I NEEDED a college education. With the astrology, I wanted to impress everyone with being certified by the man, who in astrological circles, who is considered to be "The Harvard University of Astrology". Well, he already gave it to me through his books, I just don't have the paper in hand to show for it.
But it's not an easy lesson for me to learn. My advice is that if you can stomach putting in the time, DO IT!!! Maybe your lesson is supposed to be the same as mine, learning that you already have it in you or something, but if that's not supposed to be your lesson - THEN GET YOUR ASS TO WORK, BOY!!!
I know, I know, I can hear you now saying, "Who you callin' boy???"
To that I say, YOU!! Don't make me buss' out my whip, BlueRoamer, although you might like that, but buckle down, do the work, be the robot, concentrate, focus, all of it.
Sometimes tell yourself that you're only going to set up your workplace, or that you're only going to do 5 minutes. Then 5 more minutes, you'll be surprised at how 10 to 15 minutes becomes and addictive three hours that you don't want to tear yourself away from.
I'm so glad you asked this question, it gave me a chance to write out loud about my experiences. Get that degree, Mr.
Geocosmic Valentine
P.S. I'm taking this down in a day or two so copy and paste it if you want to keep it.