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T O P I C R E V I E WBluemoonan e-mail I got POSITION : >Mother, Mom, Mama, Mommy, Ma>>JOB DESCRIPTION :>Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in an,>often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent>communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable>hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour>shifts on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to>primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments>in far away cities. Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier>duties also required>>RESPONSIBILITIES :>The rest of your life. Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and>be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this>time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.>Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small>gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. Must>screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of>multiple homework projects. Must have ability to plan and organize>social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. Must be>willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next. Must>handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap,>plastic toys, and battery operated devices. Must always hope for the>best but be prepared for the worst. Must assume final, complete>accountability for the quality of the end product. Responsibilities also>include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.>>POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION :>Virtually none. Your job is to remain in the same position for years,>without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so>that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you>>PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE :>None required unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a>continually exhausting basis.>>WAGES AND COMPENSATION :>Get this! You pay them! Offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon>payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college>will help them become financially independent. When you die, you give>them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme>is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.>>BENEFITS :>While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition>reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this>job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs>for life if you play your cards right.PhilbirdLOL!marciaThis is great! :thumbs up:
POSITION : >Mother, Mom, Mama, Mommy, Ma>>JOB DESCRIPTION :>Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in an,>often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent>communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable>hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour>shifts on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to>primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments>in far away cities. Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier>duties also required>>RESPONSIBILITIES :>The rest of your life. Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and>be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this>time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.>Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small>gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. Must>screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of>multiple homework projects. Must have ability to plan and organize>social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. Must be>willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next. Must>handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap,>plastic toys, and battery operated devices. Must always hope for the>best but be prepared for the worst. Must assume final, complete>accountability for the quality of the end product. Responsibilities also>include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.>>POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION :>Virtually none. Your job is to remain in the same position for years,>without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so>that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you>>PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE :>None required unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a>continually exhausting basis.>>WAGES AND COMPENSATION :>Get this! You pay them! Offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon>payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college>will help them become financially independent. When you die, you give>them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme>is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.>>BENEFITS :>While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition>reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this>job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs>for life if you play your cards right.
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