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Author Topic:   Help wanted, Happy Mothers day
Bluemoon
Knowflake

Posts: 4456
From: Stafford, VA USA
Registered: Feb 2005

posted May 03, 2005 09:03 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Bluemoon     Edit/Delete Message
an e-mail I got


POSITION :
>Mother, Mom, Mama, Mommy, Ma
>
>JOB DESCRIPTION :
>Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in an,
>often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent
>communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable
>hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour
>shifts on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to
>primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments
>in far away cities. Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier
>duties also required
>
>RESPONSIBILITIES :
>The rest of your life. Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and
>be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this
>time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
>Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small
>gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. Must
>screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of
>multiple homework projects. Must have ability to plan and organize
>social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. Must be
>willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next. Must
>handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap,
>plastic toys, and battery operated devices. Must always hope for the
>best but be prepared for the worst. Must assume final, complete
>accountability for the quality of the end product. Responsibilities also
>include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.
>
>POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION :
>Virtually none. Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
>without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so
>that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you
>
>PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE :
>None required unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a
>continually exhausting basis.
>
>WAGES AND COMPENSATION :
>Get this! You pay them! Offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon
>payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college
>will help them become financially independent. When you die, you give
>them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme
>is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
>
>BENEFITS :
>While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition
>reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this
>job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs
>for life if you play your cards right.

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Philbird
Knowflake

Posts: 3396
From: Here, there and everywhere.
Registered: Jun 2004

posted May 03, 2005 02:20 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Philbird     Edit/Delete Message
LOL!

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marcia
Knowflake

Posts: 829
From: NYC
Registered: Oct 2004

posted May 03, 2005 11:26 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for marcia     Edit/Delete Message
This is great! :thumbs up:

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