Its your Chiron conjunct Ascendant, square Pluto and Saturn. Transit Saturn is activating it for you.
But you have a lot of positive aspects in your chart.
Your north node is at a beautiful degree, which means your destiny is to find enlightenment from your struggles. I find that pain in its most extreme makes a soul want to find out the truth of life. I recommend you dig deeper into it and find your freedom. Life is a test, and as painful as it may be for you right now, you will can be victorious and conquer it.
Also, when a person finds themselves alone like you mentioned, its because you are strong enough to be alone. You don't need anyone to be there even though its nice, but in my experience being self sufficient is more beautiful than anything. That's what God is wanting you to be. Find your inner strength and love yourself even if nobody else does, and you will see that the gifts to be had are more important than that other stuff.