Hey MM, glad to see you are still floating around here. My advice to her is to follow her heart. That's the only thing she can do. There are certain things that you want out of relationships and then there are the things that you need to survive. Either way, relationships are hard work, but both have to be fighting for it to work. The burden of keeping things alive cannot fall solely on one person's shoulders. It is not fair.
Settling for second best should never be an option. By doing that, you are doing yourself a major disservice and saying I am not worth what I need to make me happy. Ultimately, it ends up creating bitterness, resentment, and hostility towards the other person when in all actuality it is you,(or in this case your friend), that is not being honest with herself. Believing that what you want is worth the effort is a start. Hurting someone else just because you feel that's the best you can do, is never fair for them either. She has to be honest..
And it's definately true that one person can provide many things that another person cannot. That is the beauty of human nature and relationships. We all have unique experiences under our belt for other people, and ourselves, to learn from. She needs to figure out which of the two has what she needs for her to be happy, or find a way to make herself happy on her own. She needs to sit down and weigh her options, listen to her heart, and think with her head. Being stuck in limbo is never a fun place to be, but she has the tools to fight her way out. All she has to do is take that first step...it's always the hardest though.
Good luck to your friend..
How's your Aqua man doing?
SB