When I look at your chart I immediately noticed several things.First, your Sun is in the 8th house and it rules the 8th house. One of the things that suggests is isolation. Many people with heavy 8th house energy can spend a lot of time alone by choice. Is this something that you do? The 8th house is also one of the of the 2 sexuality houses and with your Sun in "virginal" Virgo, there might be more cerebral, "chaste librarian" type energy. But bare with me, I could be wrong about that. It could manifest as you being more sexually attracted to cerebral subjects, maybe "nerdy" Bill Gates types, and that ain't so bad in my book now, these days.
Second, your Venus is in Cancer in the partnership 7th house and it rules the 5th house of romantic sexuality. Your Venus is squared by Pluto which is a very tense and powerful aspect for life development. When you have a tense aspect between Venus and Pluto it can suggest "the wh0re/nun syndrome" which means that you can be highly promiscious or incredibly virginal and perfect about social values. So I think something is building here, I'm betting on the nun being dominant in your situation.
Third, and this is might be a sensitive bombshell. You have Pluto conjunction Midheaven in Libra (traditionally the relationship sign), so one of your parents, probably your father, appears to be very powerful and difficult. With Moon in Aquarius, your mother may have been very detached or highly eccentric (the dark end of that spectrum is crazy or mentally ill).
I suspect an incident may have happened with either him or your mother or both of them, toward you, when you were around 7 or 8 years old that might have been of a violent or sexually abusive nature. Something brutal and controlling occurred and it might be part of your caution around relationships, sexuality, extreme discrimination around romance and relationships.
I forgot to mention that Pluto rules your 11th house of love received and hoped for which also leads me to believe that this incident occurring at age6, 7 or 8 was geared toward some kind of inappropriate sexual activity. Whatever it was, it was a complete ego wipe-out, over a time period that made you feel completely worthless, suppressed and in someways, unseen. There may have also been some severe illness involved as well.
The way that your chart is set up suggests that you feel victimized by life circumstances, there appears to have been no real anchor and so your learning experiences in life may have been extreme experiences of trial and error.
If any of this is correct and I'm not way off base here, my only suggestion can be to give yourself the gift of counseling, avail yourself of some kind of help with this. Because when I saw that your Sun was in the hiding 8th house, my first thought was, "She needs to get out and be in the world." But if you're worried about how to be there safely, it can sometimes seem easier to just stay in and enjoy your own company and that gets us nowhere.
By the way, I see this kind of thing in my practice A LOT!! And I've seen people make great strides. If I'm wrong, please let me know, as a matter of fact, please confirm if any of this is correct so we can all learn, and I wish you all the best. I'm actually hoping that I'm wrong because I hate to see this kind of thing, and it pops up much to often. It's one of the reasons why I can't look at children's charts.
Anyway, I wish you great good luck and I see that you are entering into your Saturn return phase over the next few years so I'm sure you will be making plans for your life and making decisions based on a more mature outlook on life.
Geocosmic Valentine
Professional Astrologer
geocosmicvalentine@yahoo.com
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