I spoke to her the other night....she is 80 and always had a great sense of spirituality about her.....she read the bible a lot and loved Jesus...aaaah bless her.Anyway she broke down during the conversation....I was talking to her about our son and his struggles and she sobbed "I should have been there for you when he was born".....she lives in a different country......and for some reason didnt come over until he was a few weeks old...not gonna go there...and whats done is done...
I know the healing process has taken effect for me cos I didnt get angry like I used to....I felt sorrow for her and just told her "she WAS there for me".....she cried like a baby.......God bless her..
Later on, I lightened the mood and told her how Id been out for the craic, singing, and having fun and she says to me "Oh isnt that husband of yours good to let you go".....I just burst out laughin and said "oh mum I aint living in a prision" and then added....."and arent I very good to let him go out and play football"....she laughed.
I realised after ringing off, that even the lighter part of our chat was tinged with sadness....."being let out/letting you go"....doesnt it speak volumes of the ties and obligations some of that generation were burdened with......and how very lucky we are indeed, as women, to have reached a much more equal and liberated place in our lives.....
Aaaahhhh mammy I love you, and you have taught me so much.........when I put the phone down.........my heart felt quite heavy.....and for a moment I grieved for what she had lost.......
love and freedom to all
xxxx