|
Author
|
Topic: My Mammy.....
|
sue g
Knowflake Posts: 3668
From: ireland
Registered: Sep 2004
|
posted October 15, 2005 07:13 PM
 
I spoke to her the other night....she is 80 and always had a great sense of spirituality about her.....she read the bible a lot and loved Jesus...aaaah bless her.Anyway she broke down during the conversation....I was talking to her about our son and his struggles and she sobbed "I should have been there for you when he was born".....she lives in a different country......and for some reason didnt come over until he was a few weeks old...not gonna go there...and whats done is done...  I know the healing process has taken effect for me cos I didnt get angry like I used to....I felt sorrow for her and just told her "she WAS there for me".....she cried like a baby.......God bless her..  Later on, I lightened the mood and told her how Id been out for the craic, singing, and having fun and she says to me "Oh isnt that husband of yours good to let you go".....I just burst out laughin and said "oh mum I aint living in a prision" and then added....."and arent I very good to let him go out and play football"....she laughed. I realised after ringing off, that even the lighter part of our chat was tinged with sadness....."being let out/letting you go"....doesnt it speak volumes of the ties and obligations some of that generation were burdened with......and how very lucky we are indeed, as women, to have reached a much more equal and liberated place in our lives..... Aaaahhhh mammy I love you, and you have taught me so much.........when I put the phone down.........my heart felt quite heavy.....and for a moment I grieved for what she had lost....... love and freedom to all xxxx IP: Logged |
Saturn's Child
Knowflake Posts: 828
From: Just left of center
Registered: May 2004
|
posted October 16, 2005 11:41 PM
Sue, I know what you mean. My Mom died back in 1991 from breast cancer. I moved to her home to care for the last months of her life. After she would take her sleeping pill each night she would feel freer to talk. One night we were drinking tea and talking and she told me the only thing she ever wanted to do was dance...Ginger Rogers/Fred astair dancing...beautiful flowing sequined gowns!! Who Knew??? When I was a child and then later a teen I wanted to sing and dance that's all I ever wanted to be...an entertainer. And my mom told me again and again how difficult it would be...how very impractical......aaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrggggg!
As angery as I wanted to be when she told me this revalation..I couldn't be. I realized she had always been the solid strong one among her siblings. Her parents counted on her...and new she wouldn't fail them....she passed that on to me. And then, at that time, she was dying without having acheived her dream....so no anger..just compassion. If she were alive today I'd gather her up and we'd go dancin' all night long!!!! You miss them dreadful when they're gone!  IP: Logged |
aqua
Knowflake Posts: 1303
From: dreamland
Registered: Jan 2004
|
posted October 17, 2005 12:11 AM
oh sue  god bless.. IP: Logged |
pixelpixie
Moderator Posts: 1886
From: Ontario Canada
Registered: Jun 2005
|
posted October 17, 2005 01:12 AM
Oh everyone.
God Bless.
oh..........IP: Logged |
sue g
Knowflake Posts: 3668
From: ireland
Registered: Sep 2004
|
posted October 17, 2005 07:12 AM
"Oh everyone"... .
how you move me so...
thankyou friends..   IP: Logged |
noreenz
Knowflake Posts: 732
From:
Registered: Feb 2004
|
posted October 17, 2005 10:03 AM
Heartwarming, thanks.
IP: Logged |
kiwigirl
Knowflake Posts: 219
From: New Zealand
Registered: May 2005
|
posted October 17, 2005 04:05 PM
That was beautiful, Thanks for sharing Sue.kiwi IP: Logged |
fayte.m
Knowflake Posts: 2322
From:
Registered: Mar 2005
|
posted October 17, 2005 04:26 PM
IP: Logged |
26taurus
Moderator Posts: 9209
From: the stars
Registered: Jun 2004
|
posted October 17, 2005 05:06 PM
Beautiful, thanks for sharing, sue. ------------------
What the caterpillar calls the end of the world the master calls a butterfly.
~Richard Bach IP: Logged |
future_uncertain
Knowflake Posts: 1602
From: ohio
Registered: Aug 2004
|
posted October 17, 2005 07:31 PM
Both of you are making me lumpy in my throat IP: Logged |
26taurus
Moderator Posts: 9209
From: the stars
Registered: Jun 2004
|
posted October 17, 2005 07:33 PM
(((*hugs SaturnsChild)))IP: Logged |
sue g
Knowflake Posts: 3668
From: ireland
Registered: Sep 2004
|
posted October 18, 2005 07:16 AM
"You miss them dreadful when they're gone"Oh Saturn, thanks for these words girl...they really moved me...deeply.....and the dancing story..... My Mamy is a Cappy and doesnt always show her feelings as deeply as Id have chosen...but i know now at this stage of my life...she really loves my sis and I. Dad says she calls out for us every day....she never learned to let go God bless her. We are both living away........ Ive had to pray a lot around this, but my Dad is the one who comes in and pours oil over troubled waters. Do you know what he said to me yesterday, he told me that he reminded mum that we dont own our children, that we have to let go. I thanked him for this and told him he was "awesome" and how proud I was to have him as my Dad. He laughed then went quiet.....
xxx xxx
IP: Logged |
Lindaland
UBBFriend: Email This Page to Someone! 
