posted February 09, 2005 11:00 AM              

I think Leos are the least likely to want to get involved with someone who is "taken", because they refuse to play second fiddle, and they need to know that their mate has integrety. If they are able to lure them into cheating, then they will always question their integrity.

The sign Least likely to care? I think Aries. They'd probably relish the challenge, but then, if they get that person, will always be very insecure and suspicious of their mate. (knowing that if THEY were able to tempt them, then what's to say that somebody else couldn't do the same?

posted February 09, 2005 11:43 AM              

There are a lot of shades of gray in this topic. Every situation is different and most individuals have a set of priorities they think are important in relationships.

Just thoughts.

As for personal experiences, I don't recall actively pursuing a man who was in a relationship. There are men who are in relationships whom I think are attractive, intelligent, cultured, etc. that I am friends with. If they were single, I would go out with them. Depending on the comfort level in the relationship, sometimes I let them know they are good guys, and give them a pat on the back for being good men to the women they are with.

Cheers,

Aphrodite
Sun in Aries
Moon in Capricorn

posted February 09, 2005 12:21 PM              

I don't think it's because I am more jealous, it's because the man is more hesitant and has less to work with. It takes about 6 months for a man to get over his rebound phase, but there is usually something wrong with the guy seriously if he is hitting on another woman while committed anyway. Something really wrong.

As in compulsive liar, drinker, addict.

I have never found a man this way and ever been happy with what I found underneath, it's a mess.

Scorpio women get a lot of attention too, but they are equally angry and quick to move on if they are not getting what they want.
Taurus and Venus in Taurus, will stay with a man in hopes that he will leave until the man becomes dependent on her like a mother. At which time she will get sick of it and leave him usually when there is no more money.

Every sign will feel out other people, the tendency to get involved has less to do with the sign than how strong that person's life is, integrity has nothing to do with it when you feel emotionally abandoned. I have been with all air signs and have said "Steal me, Steal me!"

posted February 09, 2005 01:00 PM              

I don't mean who doesn't mind being stollen from their current committed relationship, I mean who doesn't mind doing the stealing.

Some people (myself included) will say to even the most attractive and desireable member of the opposite sex "You're taken, therefore, I AM NOT INTERESTED" If they want to start something with me, then they have to get unattached first, and spend some time recovering from that last relationship.

I find it to be an incredibly unattractive quality for a person who is in a committed relationship to be "sourcing out" other prospects. Total turn-off, man. But, I doubt if everybody feels this way, otherwise there wouldn't be so much infidelity going on in the world.

posted February 09, 2005 01:09 PM            

I know people get into situations. My ex-Leo was separated from his wife when we started to date and I was separated from my hubby. I went through my divorce, but he never did. It always felt weird- kind of dirty, which is why I never felt really commited to him.

In the end, after I broke things off and began this relationship with Mr. Taurus, the Leo decided to reconcile with his soon to be ex, and now they are back together.

I am too blunt and too honest to be the other woman. It takes up too much time and I don't want to have to worry about slipping up or calling at the wrong time..LOL...

posted February 09, 2005 01:52 PM              

Yes, I suppose that Saggie theory does make sense. In that case, Aquarius may be another one who wouldn't mind, because then they wouldn't have excessive demands put upon them in the relationship. But, they wouldn't want the person to leave their spouse eithor, so that's a little different.

I think maybe a chart that's highly mutuable, or with heavy Neptune aspects may indicate someone who was always after someone else's mate.

posted February 09, 2005 02:23 PM              

Now by attractive I mean, emotionally, and financially. There is no way a stable person is going to stay in a bad relationship, but logistics make it impossible to leave many times, due to the hostility or living arrangements.

If a person is living in such a situation, and making it known, its' not so much as stealing as rescuing which is the real problem.

The real question is why do these relationships suck so badly, that a person is willing to go outside the relationship to beg someone to rescue him or her?

When I meet a person sourcing out other possibilities, the other party always knows, and does nothing about it. Why? Emotional and financial stability on the individuals part. A couple is a pair, and once one person retreats then there is no we anymore.

Stealing is not so accurate as losing.

If you take a mate, you lose a friend, and if you lose your mate you lose that mate and a friend. Nobody really wins, so nobody wants to be in that position, but men and women both will hang on to a long dead relationship with nothing but bills between them for years and years.

I have been stuck in such a relationship for years with a Libra, who would not quit, although he had left me physically and emotionally for years, he was in my house every day. I would have been more than happy if I had lost him, and I hold no grudge towards a woman who wants to love him. however, he wanted it both ways, now if someone "took" me, that would be good for the Libra eventually.

Love is long gone in people who are leaving, they are looking for a place to recover, or a place to live, not a person to love, but some people are just too broken to live on their own, and too bitter to love anyone.

Expectations regarding men and their actions, especially are not good, as they have their own standards in this world. I do not control them, I only control myself. So solidarity with other women is not going to create more love.

When I found a man who a woman lost, she was ten times better off without him around, and I was not the first, just the first to tell her about it. In no way shape or form do I imagine to benefit from a man in my life, or offer a step up to him.

Entanglements happen but they are mistakes. I really don't see the need to make a big deal out of it, but I do offer support and caring to other women, only at a distance. I do not believe other women can be objective about their mates.

I just work on the relationships I am in, and try to understand why they are not working, or working, and do not worry about other women so much.

The reason is that I have a sister, and aunts, and women on the most part do not have as much interest in women friends as romantic possibilities. So I find I am the only true objective female voice I know regarding men and love.

I mean what are the rules regarding ex b/fs? Don't you think it's odd how sisters and g/f's will stay away from your current flame, but rush to date your ex, as if that is friendly? Where do we draw the line at ownership? I get tired of drawing the line and seeing it drawn, if I like someone I am going to express it in a big way. Anyone can see that and let it rock through their psyche.

I do not like being ignored, but I do not accept sub-standard men.
The other players are not as significant as controlling my own emotions, and seeing the reality of the man.

posted February 09, 2005 02:36 PM              

Some say, she's fat, and ugly with lumpy thighs, I deserve better...that's disloyal and disgusting. I wouldn't want a man talking about me that way so I get sickened by being near him right away, or when it sinks in.

The other thing I can't stand is when he says she cheated on him or left him. Uh, where did she go, well if he says he was only suspicious of her cheating, that's a red flag, and if there is plenty of money for him to leave, that's another one. Basically a man has to be in serious pain for me to take him in, as in alone and whining on a Saturday and Sunday night, and at my door constantly, without food, money, or just plain desperate. Pretty soon, he is back with her, because I won't keep a two timer, and if he's serious about leaving, we have to break up anyway because of our separate lives.

So I would have to say if a Taurus steals your mate, then you didn't really want him anyway, or he was more of a little boy than a man. No worries for you here because you'd see it coming.

As for women doing this, women lie about their b/f's a lot, and I find it hard to listen to the disloyalty there too. Some men and women are really looking for mommy and daddy, in other words a stepping stone in life.

I think the ones most likely to take a mate are social climbers. They usually take and leave mates at the same time. When I find myself in these situations it's usually because a social climber is coming on strong when I am with SOMEONE else, fascinating to him.

I don't want to sound bitter here (too late) but my profession is very social and so I have to look carefully at my friends sometimes. Water and air signs tend to be better at hiding it, water and air ascendants, especially pisces, libra, and aquarius are very diplomatic.

More than once I have found myself tangled with a Libra or Aqua ascendant, who were involved with many people.

posted February 09, 2005 03:05 PM              

"I wish women would have some solidarity when it comes to this. If he's taken, and putting out vibes to you...You should find that repulsive. Then, men wouldn't be fooling around on their women as much, because there would very few women who would have any part of it."

SO TRUE ...

But I think ALL men see golden opportunities when women throw all kinds of distress signals at them ... Its the man with good strong fiber of committment and ethical carry that will think twice, no matter how butiful she is ...

I am a Virgo man but no angel ... If I'm committed, I'm pretty stable until it starts to get rocky and where I stand becomes muddled and foggy ... Virgos won't lure u away (too much work) unless ur a simply easy target (if ur man is a complete joke or if being hotly persued and the energy is volcanic) ... But we may play along and have fun but then become utterly turned off that ur whoring on ur man, especially if u say u love him and all that stuff ... I think most men would have this same reaction ...

U wanna play? U wanna be chased? Great, but cut the rope or ball and chain ...

I have dated and known people across spectrum ... Everyone seems prone to cheat or can be lured or likes luring people ... Even the most committted and noblest of signs, which I think are Taurus, Capricorn, Leo, Scorpio and Virgo ...

I think easy lures are Gemini's, Cancer's, Libra's, Aquarius, Pisces and Aries ... the more whimiscal, fanciful, dreamy signs, especially when something is lacking in their life ...

posted February 09, 2005 04:25 PM              

I'd say also because you are a decent woman. I am the same. Believe it or not there are bad people out there who wouldn't care about even breaking up a marriage.

posted February 09, 2005 04:46 PM              

Yes, it does go both ways, it's equally sad when a female in a committed relationship puts out vibes to another male - and shame on him if the fact that she's taken means nothing. It's an interchangable situation, not dependant on the sex of either party. We just tend to gravitate to the female point of view around here because this forum is predominately female.

posted February 09, 2005 05:51 PM              

Leo Sun, Mercury, Venus, Mars (all 8th house except Venus)
Sagittarius rising (first decant)
Aquarius moon (2nd house)

I lose all respect for an attached man who tries to "get" with me. It's like 26T said, a switch just goes off and I'm so over it in that instant. (hmm. could it be 2nd house Moon at work there??? Taurus's natural house?)

posted February 09, 2005 06:02 PM              

I know many gemini girls that flirt and lead guys on and like to play with there heads lollll. :x

But when they are in love that's it. They will be faithful. thwy are always on a search for the one. Did I mention they like to day dream

If a gemini writes you a poem consider yourself lucky.

Not that the guys didn't deserve it. they were liars themselves buy why waste your time?

I love my fellow gems though. We always click so well and become practically lovers but we can clash easily also

A scorpio I would not date even if my life depended on it. Sorry guys just being honest here. Great friends though. My best guy friend is a scorpio and we have been great friends since we were young. When we were like 14 he promised me that I could be the god mother of his kids. I promised him he'd be there god father.

You see being friends and being in a relationship is very different.

Sorry but I have yet to see a faithful scorp as in the males and females.

posted February 09, 2005 07:00 PM              

I have never met a woman who didn't complain in a relationship, before she left to another man. Yet she expects him to be her friend, then if they do eventually get together after she leaves her current mate, it's okay because she's female and she was hurt.

The unassertive party, whoever that is, is usually a big pain in the butt to me. That person is always the one who says, he hurt me, he was abusive, and so on..and there is always a man to pick up the pieces. I personally know at least two men who tell me about women they are dating who are in relationships with other guys, but they are just so needy. They need a new man because the old one is just so mean. Boo Hoo.

When a man does this, the women are predators, he's never to blame.

Double standard by women, again, so that they can continue taking care of a man. I don't need to feel validated that way.

If a man takes me to his yacht, and fills me with champagne, chances are even if he's married, I will make a mistake. The best I can do is take a piece of the pie instead of the whole thing, and that better than most.

Women make mistakes, but they are not opportunities.

When a man makes a mistake, it's an opportunity, for women to increase their social standing.

I mean, the Gemini (Gemini Sun/Pisces rising) who was my friend (before we were lovers, and he was a lousy lover) came over every night as a friend and whined about his Cancer girlfriend who was never home. In fact she had invited her g/f to move in with them for six months. They never had sex without the other girl around, in fact she travelled without him with the girl. I called her at her studio and said "Do you want to come over?" Every night I called her up and told her he was over at my house and having dinner and so on, and asked her to join us. She would not, but sulked because he had a friend besides her. (more background noise)

I told her that I loved him (not really), she did nothing. Finally she confronted him (after I confronted her), and begged him not to leave her for me, why, would she want him after all of that? And to be honest, it's not like I wanted to marry the guy, it was a mistake. She was running away from home, and wanted to leave a long time ago, then decided to leave her problems on me. She knew he was very vulnerable and had to save enough money before she could leave, (40K )

I told him to tell her that but he wanted to move in, so the best we can do is be compassionate. Of course then he did the same to me, but then I don't think I really put my heart into that relationship obviously.

I usually side with the stupid one and that's sometimes the man, but I know as well as anyone he naive front is an act. Still, you never know, every once in a while you run into a genuine soul. It's really a significant fact in my life that I discriminate in the wrong direction every once in a while, and we can all be a little more compassionate.

Many times I have been leaning in both directions, and it's the man who is the worse for wear, and that surprises me.

So the moral of this story is concetrate on the players and ignore the background noise.

My challenge is simple discrimination
Venus trine Mars
"You are warm, and generous with friends and the opposite sex, who like you very much, be discriminating"

But I refuse to beat myself up, over mistakes, as they are sad and associated with sad people who like to be in pain. The only benefit to these people, is that when they were together they couldn't torture others.

posted February 09, 2005 07:30 PM            

Yep, I think you are on to something there. I have Saturn in Taurus in the 8th house. For me, it is a complete turn off to be with someone that is with another- even if it is dating. I also feel like you, I can't imagine what the other woman would feel like and I feel a need to protect her.

But that isn't to say I haven't made a mistake. I did kiss a guy that was married. I didn't know he was married and when I found out I was sick to my stomach.