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Author
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Topic: Who usually ends the relationship, you or them?
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BLKFox
unregistered
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posted February 03, 2008 05:19 AM
 
I have Venus in Scorpio...
I usually begin the relationship(they will say they began it) & end the relationshipIP: Logged |
blue moon
Knowflake Posts: 1344
From: U.K
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted February 03, 2008 05:56 AM
They'd have to. I hate the look in a man's eyes when he feels rejected (I'm a straight female). With a Venus Square Mars this has got me into a whole lotta trouble, lol. Then the old Moon Conjunct Pluto gives that tenacious edge. Can't let it go, got to do it to death. Though I only ever had two official boyfriends. I dumped one, and still feel bad about it 20 years later. The other got the 'till death us do part' promise - though you don't say that in civil weddings, the intention was still the same. IP: Logged |
augentier
unregistered
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posted February 03, 2008 04:11 PM
I usually end/ruin relationships of all kinds. I'm pretty cold sometimes. I feel like I get sick of people so easily and constantly am changing my mind about how I feel. ------------------
Capricorn sun / Scorpio rising / Sagittarius moon No man is free who is not master of himself. IP: Logged |
starrym
unregistered
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posted February 04, 2008 12:01 AM
BLKfox, i can really relate. I also have venus in scorpio (conjunct pluto)and i begin the relationship.. but the feelings are mutual. it takes me longer usually to be sure about how i feel, and when i do, i give them the go ahead to ask me. haha, so i know what you mean by "they will say they began it" when i feel something crumbling, the destroyer comes out. its almost addicting to end the relationship.. i'm a lover of ultimatums.. "change or its over"... i put things so black and white, that it burns everything to the ground. im not saying this is a good thing, but rather a negative pattern that is easy for me to act out IP: Logged |
Isolaede
Newflake Posts: 15
From: Sunny CA
Registered: May 2009
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posted February 04, 2008 12:50 PM
I’m incredibly shy any old fashion, so I never begin relationships. And I’m far too loyal to end them. I’ve stayed in more than one relationship long past its expiration date because I felt it wrong to give up on love. On the bright side though, I tend to avoid bad relationships. I know within 1-2 dates if someone will work for me, and if I get the sense that things are bad, I’ll break things off early on so I don’t have the heartache and trauma of ending them later. I attribute my loyalty, shyness, and old fashion nature to my Cancer Sun and my Taurus moon. I peg my ability to read people early on to Cancer empathy. My emotional caution I think ties into my Taurus moon and my moon / Saturn square.
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BLKFox
unregistered
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posted February 04, 2008 06:23 PM
Starrym,
I used to be an "ultimatum" junkie when I was in my 30s...since then, I, myself have decided to get more involved---when I AM involved...that means hanging in a little longer.....and not pulling out the "U" card as fast.IP: Logged |
amowls
Newflake Posts: 4
From: Falls Church, VA, USA
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted February 04, 2008 07:51 PM
I prefer to be pursued, and I hate breaking up with people. Usually I just become very distant to get them to break up with me when I want the relationship to be over.Aqua Sun/Libra Moon/Gemini ASC and my Venus is in Pisces. IP: Logged |
BLKFox
unregistered
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posted February 04, 2008 08:06 PM
AM...
What if they become distant with you without breaking up...has that ever happened?IP: Logged |
BLKFox
unregistered
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posted February 06, 2008 04:47 PM
*BUMP*IP: Logged |
LeoCat
unregistered
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posted March 09, 2008 07:19 AM
I try to become distant with them when I know we have to break up, it doesn't work but this is what I try initially. I just hate it, hurting them. I put it off as long as possible and figure if I'm distant and kind of cold they'll get the hint, of course they never do, they want answers obviously. Most of the time when I do it I can't get the words to come out. When its done I lock myself in my room for a week in grief. It's such a sad thing, this person is your intimate lover, your confidant, your best friend, the person you tell everything to and share everything with and the next day they're forgotten, replaced, as if they never meant anything to you. Its always been a weird thing to me. IP: Logged |
alma_pisces
Newflake Posts: 18
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted March 09, 2008 10:33 AM
I have Venus in Aries, I have started and ended most of my relationships. IP: Logged |
BLKFox
unregistered
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posted March 09, 2008 12:52 PM
Leo,
Any idea WHY you end your relationships, and in such a "sudden" way?
I know someone who is 60 who does that...IP: Logged |
Love
Knowflake Posts: 54
From: Canada
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted March 09, 2008 02:37 PM
I'm a Cancer Sun and Venus and have Neptune in the 7th. What do you think?  Actually, once I did break up with one guy but that's because he had a Cancer Moon. Apparently Cancer Venus trumps Cancer Moon in the breaking up department. IP: Logged |
BlueRoamer
Knowflake Posts: 95
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted March 09, 2008 02:48 PM
It takes two people to start a relationship but only one to end it.Chew on that! IP: Logged |
ghanima81
Moderator Posts: 520
From: Maine
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted March 09, 2008 02:48 PM
I can't say that I "begin" all relationships, but when I see something I want, I usually get it... charm and persuasion mixed with aloofness and mystery... I guess they think it was their idea... hehe..As far as "ending" them? I try really hard to make them work, and usually wear out every possible solution to fix the problems until I can't handle it anymore and eventually leave. They are usually shocked, as I don't really ever let them know I am unhappy, nor do they seem to see all the concessions I make in order to keep the relationship alive. It has been said that my breakups come "out of the blue" to most people that know me, and especially fromt the other person. Aqua sun/mars/merc 11th, Venus in Cap 10th and 5th house Leo moon... It's probably ego that makes me try so hard. Accept failure? NEVER! And all the heavy Uranian influence keeps most issues in my head, not so much spoken about. I use logic and that cantankerous Cappy endurance makes it near impossible for me to throw in the towel too soon... I'm working on it though! IP: Logged |
BornUnderDioscuri
Moderator Posts: 49
From:
Registered: Jun 2009
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posted March 09, 2008 02:49 PM
quote:
Then the old Moon Conjunct Pluto gives that tenacious edge. Can't let it go, got to do it to death
Same here. They usually start it and I guess usually end it too as a Libra rising I cannot make up my mind and as a Scorpio moon i hate to let go. ------------------
Sun-Gemini
Moon-Scorpio
ASC-Libra IP: Logged |
Skybound_Piscean
unregistered
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posted March 09, 2008 04:45 PM
I wonder if Saturn conjunct Venus in Aires slows down the Venus-in-Aires-effect. I´m not shy, but when it comes to take the beginning step I´m useless… my friends say I scare men who are interested away because I´m so vague in the way I show I´m interested that they immediately think I´m not interested. They might be right… When it comes to breaking up; Uranus in the 7th house takes care of that …*lol*
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BLKFox
unregistered
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posted March 09, 2008 05:14 PM
I've just been realizing, in retrospect, that I've only had supportive, committed lovers---if only I had been able to appreciate each one of them WHILE I was involved with them...I've always ended it, because I was afraid I'd miss out on something better, AND I'm dealing with Sun, Asc, Merc(retro) & Neptune all in Libra! My Venus in Scorpio used to "reel" them in...
If I had a dog, he probably wouldn't come when I called him...he wouldn't know WHAT to believe!IP: Logged |
amowls
Newflake Posts: 4
From: Falls Church, VA, USA
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted March 09, 2008 07:29 PM
BLK: To answer your question directed at me, well... The only person I've ever broken up with was my last boyfriend who I dated for 2 1/2 years. I started that relationship (also a first for me) and ended it because he wasn't getting the hint. It broke my heart to do it, too. I absolutely hated it. I felt so guilty afterwards.IP: Logged |
scorpiofrancesca
unregistered
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posted March 09, 2008 10:25 PM
I have been the one to end it every time. A few times I had just gotten bored and wanted to be single. This was always the scenario up until recently. The last one I felt too restricted from having fun. Now that I'm older I have figured out the sort of partner I mesh well with, and I also feel I am less likely to get bored now or end a relationship just because I want to be single. As was always the case in past.Sun scorpio
Ascendant Aries
Moon gemini
Venus Sagg
Mercury Sagg
Mars Capp
Jupiter Capp
saturn scorp
uranus sagg
neptune sagg
pluto scorpio IP: Logged |
Lara
unregistered
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posted March 09, 2008 10:35 PM
MeBOREDOM next..... lol IP: Logged |
alvarella777
unregistered
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posted March 10, 2008 12:21 AM
I have pondered on that before, because it has always been me who broke up. I was looking for some clues for that pattern already.(I had two significant long-term-relationship and about 3 minor
"relationships" so far.) One major reason for breaking-up is: to do so BEFORE HE DOES. I want to "keep the upper hand", no matter what and no matter how "submissive" I may appear while in the relationship - so that HE wouldn't be able to come before me, to surprise me with a break-up from his side. This is probably due to my natal MOON-square-PLUTO - I want to have control over emotional situations. PLUTO and other SCORPIONIC energies in my chart (SCORPIO ASC for example) make me a person "not to trifle with" (if you can say so..?). I have a deep fear of disgrace and humiliation - breaking-up can be a matter of self-defense! CANCER SUN in 8th The other, even more important reason for breaking-up with someone is that I cannot stand pretences: MOON in SAGG. in 1st house - if I don't feel it anymore from the bottom of my heart ... I am rather alone than stuck with the wrong one ... I am quite brave in that regard - and I tell it like it is - frankly. Another cause: Sometimes I build up extremely high expectations at the beginning - which can be disapponted very quickly: VENUS square NEPTUNE and also NEPTUNE cj. ASCENDANT (infatuation, mystique and also misunderstandings sometimes). I tend to compare my ideals to the cold water that reality is splashing into my face - VENUS in VIRGO in 9th. (Because of that Virgo-influence I can pretty much analyze what is going wrong and can always find reasonable arguments for breaking-up, if I want to.) AND: It just HAS to be real love for me! I invest a lot in relationships, they CAN be seen as my lifepurpose by myself sometimes - VENUS cj. VESTA in 9th. And this ambitious VENUS forms a trine to an Asteroids-Stellium in my 5th house: I have JUNO cj. CERES cj. ADMETOS in TAURUS - and this Stellium is in wide conjunct (orb:5 dg.) to my POF in ARIES in 5th. SO ... I crave commitment in a relationship - but if I cannot be "my very own self" in an easy, natural and inspiring way (as my POF suggests) ... I'll losen the ties someday ... Again: There's always some ambition/objective for me in relationships... ;-) Btw, one of the most reliable indications that a relationship is about to end, slowly, bur surely ... is: LOSS OF ATTRACTION (erotically). Don't know whether this is a typical "female" approach, but ... if the SEX doesn't work anymore .. I find it very hard to stay there. (And that does NOT mean that I am the prosmicuous type - my longest relationship lasted nine years, and I have never been unfaithful!) I have MARS in 8th. sxtl. PLUTO, sxtl. ASC and sq. JUNO - so i need to be stimulated/fired up erotically in a relationship. Enough reasons now, I guess ... ;-) IP: Logged |
BLKFox
unregistered
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posted March 10, 2008 01:46 PM
I seems that several of the posts here (mine included) suggest a lack of...or avoidance of INTIMACY and VULNERALBILITY in relationships..
Do you agree?IP: Logged |
kfn327
Knowflake Posts: 150
From:
Registered: May 2009
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posted March 10, 2008 01:49 PM
I usually end it, but it depends; oftentimes I sense the other person becoming disinterested, or I can tell things will "only get worse," so in that sense, maybe they're ending it emotionally, but I physically/verbally end it out of 1. fear, 2. anxiety, 3. carelessness, or 4. intuition.. . . I don't even know if that makes sense, but I'm gonna roll with it. Sun in Aries
Moon in Pisces
Venus in Aquarius
Mars in Taurus IP: Logged |
bluegreyeyes
Newflake Posts: 15
From: New York
Registered: May 2009
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posted March 10, 2008 03:05 PM
I don't think I've ever been in a relationship in which one of us "ended" things. One of my exes had to move to Chicago for his job, so it went without saying that the relationship was over. Nice enough guy, kept in touch... that's a Leo for you. Another relationship, well, it may never "end"... he won't let go. I dunno if it's guilt, or something more, but sometimes I think I'll be 50 years old and still get text messages on Friday/Saturday nights from him at 2am... silly scorpio. It's weird, I can't imagine *starting* a relationship that I would have to end. I'm very VERY hesitant to enter relationships, and extremely cautious with the people I date, so it seems unlikely that I'd be the one to end things... ------------------
*Christina*
Aquarius SUN
Gemini MOON
Aries ASC IP: Logged |
Lindaland
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