posted September 07, 2005 08:17 AM         

Later the little boy asked his father, "Why does mother seem to cry for no reason?" "All women cry for no reason," was all his dad could say.

posted September 07, 2005 08:56 AM         

I tell our 6 year old boy that I cry for the same reason as I laugh, to release all that is inside.....and becos I want to be healthy.......and then he says to me "what happens if you dont cry.....oh I know mum, you can get sick cant ya?

I have asked him to promise me that as he gets older, even if he feels he cant cry in front of others, to come to me and soak my shoulder.........

What an awesome thought.....that we could sit and cry together one day, and then swim away in our Scorpio tears.......ahhh love.....isnt it the best?

Love and tears to all

posted September 07, 2005 10:28 AM         

Love

posted September 07, 2005 11:22 AM         

I would also think men reading that would feel, unconsciously or not, a kind of validation in their own lack of understanding what a woman most endure in this culture, and only re-inforce the pervasive cultural attitude that men are not accountable for understanding women (or that we woman are by definition not understandable, which also implies in our cultural, we all are irrational, and do things, like cry, for "no reason"). We are still all human by nature - that should not be dismissed because our way of thinking is too small to look past our difference in genders.

Lastly, I foresee, as many others who struggle with gender issues, that the old dichotomy of male-female being replacecd with a far more fluid and less rigid sense of gender. It may not happen in th next decade, but it is happening - it's already begun, as our growing understanding of human nature and gender is cominginto direct conflict with older mindsets. We know now that people can be born "intersexed" and not necessarily be dominatly either male or female, either physically or psychologically, for example. We also know that some people can be born with the sex chromosomes of one gender, yet are physically and psychologically the other gender (liek a woman having XY and not XX - this happens far more than most people realize). Once we've begun to understand that gender isn't this great mysterious divided we've always assume it was, we are going to have to call into question these kinds of attitudes (sometimes passed on under the guise of "wisdom" and "insight") that justify that mindset, and recognize they are lacking, if not entirely false.

Loggerhead - I would that man has emotional blockage concerning showing sympathy and empathy in imtimate or familiar relationships, and uses less imtimate situations, like a movies, a moving song or the radio, hearing the national anthem at a ball game, etc., to express emotions he cannot feel comfort expressing in more intimately. Thsi is not at uncommon - men are condition by and large in our culture to be the stoic in the family and relationships, the strong one that doesn't crack when everyone else is in tears . But men do have emotions, and society gives them socially-OK things with use as outlets - sports is a very common one, but also patriotism, music, movies, even videogames, etc.

My dad is the same way - he shows no emotion to his family, but I've caught him crying to an Julio Iglesis song or a documentary about WWII.

posted September 07, 2005 12:30 PM         

I think I may be like Loggerhead's husband. I get teary pretty easily, but it depends on how able I am to tap into that emotion. I feel like sometimes I don't relate to emotions being emoted by women even if I'm supposed to. I won't hesitate to hold or listen to a crying lover, but her emotion won't always become something internal for me. I would feel empathy for her, but I don't think that dictates crying along. There are also things that just don't affect me like they do other people. For instance, if I were married and my wife's cousin were to die. I could understand very easily her need to cry, but I would feel too detached from her cousin for it to affect me to the point of crying. If we went to the funeral, though, and I saw the weeping family and heard the beautiful words they might have for that cousin, then I might cry depending on my mood, but that would be for the mourners more than the deceased.

I've actually gotten emotional in break up situations where I want to work things out. The last time that happened it was kind of a role reversal in that I was teary while she was somewhat detached (as detached as a Cancer can be). This particular Cancer thought our Sun signs should have been reversed. She felt like she was the Capricorn, and I was the sensitive Cancer.

Anyway, that's all I got.

posted September 07, 2005 04:06 PM         

quote:

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could understand very easily her need to cry, but I would feel too detached from her cousin for it to affect me to the point of crying.

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posted September 08, 2005 01:23 AM         

That meant I took it the right way.

posted September 08, 2005 04:45 AM         

So, let me tell you why I cry...(less often than it used to be...I used to cry every day...)

When I have been sorely disappointed (love interest, job)
When someone who has great courage and strength, and who has touched me in some way, dies.
When I hear Bach's organ music. I am part-Welsh, so the sound of a church organ does something to me.
When I have a truly mind-blowing orgasm ...the euphoria is such...
When I am overtired or have had one too many late nights.
When the problems of those close to me are made to weigh on me too much (this, not so much the case anymore).
When I think about how irretrievable my family relationships are, and the sheer awfulness of it comes over me sometimes (but it passes, and I maybe only feel screwed up for a day or so).

So, I can't say I cry for no reason. I might not want to DIVULGE these reasons to everybody at the time...but there it is, in black and white.

AT

(Moon/Venus/Jupiter in Pisces)

posted September 08, 2005 08:07 AM         

Whoa - the boy’s mother was clearly not a Libra

My mother never cries…she expresses her emotions through communication. Shouting, arguing…that kind of stuff. But I have never seen her cry…except in rare moments.

That’s how she deals with problems…even when a family member passed away - yeah she got teary - but spent the whole time calling relatives.

See communication, that’s how she deals with problems. She’s a Libra/Pisces/Gemini.

I’m very similar to her…never cry - I have to rely on meditation to help me through tough times.

Everyone’s different - otherwise life would be incredibly boring.

Gemini Nymph

posted September 08, 2005 07:13 PM         

I just love sensitive men who aren't afraid to shed tears. They melt my heart and make me go weak at the knees (must be my Mars in Cancer, being attracted to such guys - yummy!)

Hubby's quite a sensitive guy (Scorpio) but he will do his best to hold his tears in though he does get damp-eyed when he's hurt and I have witnessed his tears on a few occasions and it made me feel so close to him.

He worries when I cry. He thinks I'm more distressed than I am. I always tell him, it sounds worse than it is! I just need to let off steam and crying is the best way to do it.

Touch

posted September 09, 2005 03:48 AM         

Air is the element of thought and ability to detach. I don't have much of it in my watery/firey/earthy chart (apart from my asc which compensates somewhat..but not on a deep inner level)

I find it a bit dramatic (not all women are martyrs) but I can look past the way certain things are said because the message it's trying to send is one of love and depth and I like that.

I think the message is true..but the way it's written can be completely picked apart by feminism. I'm not much of a "feminist" myself..not because I disagree with the idea of it (I think it's fair enough that women and men have the same rights etc) but because I think it gets taken way too far these days.. and I think some women should just accept the fact that they are women and they don't have to be "just like men" (and constantly carry on about how many masculine qualities they have) to prove themselves in the world.

Feminism says "women and men are equal" (and they are)..but how exactly does copycating men and absolutely everything they do "prove" that? Isn't that kinda just reinforcing the fact that women think men are superior..if they feel the need to copycat them and be as masculine as possible to prove themselves..

Comments such as "I always ask the guy out..always..I'm always the initiator..I SLEEP AROUND..wow I'm so good..I'm just like men..I'm an equal" lols.. It makes me wanna say - No you're not, you're a copycat..

PS. Nothing against anyone who truly IS like that..who would truly prefer to initiate etc.. that's fine.. but I mean women who kinda do it and talk about it on purpose as though it's something to show of about and as though it earns them brownie points in God knows what area.

posted September 09, 2005 06:21 AM         

I’m not a feminist either - but that’s because I don’t believe in it.

If someone degrades my nationality, or religion ( altho don’t really have one ), or culture…whatever - and I got defensive - no one would really blame me.
But if someone degraded my gender…and I got defensive - I’m a feminist?
I don’t understand…should I not get defensive? was it not intended as an insult?

Anyway feminist confuse me. Some are just as bad as certain men - they feel females are superior.

You know what these people need to do ( both women and men ) - stop thinking so hard about things that don’t matter and RELAX

One thing I have to point out ( I have a big mouth, what can I say ).

"I always ask the guy out..always..I'm always the initiator..I SLEEP AROUND..wow I'm so good..I'm just like men..I'm an equal"

I don’t think it’s about “acting like men” - altho don‘t really understand why anyone would say “ I‘m just like a man. I‘m equal“ lol

Still, you have to admit, there’s nothing natural about “sitting there and looking pretty”…or staying quiet - what are we all Pisceans now?

No seriously…I think many females are just breaking away from what they “should be“…or what society expects from them. And they’re just being themselves - altho they are still criticised for it.
Who’s to say how women should act……or how men should act. Let's just be freeeeeeee. I talked to this one guy, who told me society is harsh on men…more so than women. Who knew. See, society is the enemy lol.

I don’t believe there’s anything wrong with being the initiator - I’m not one myself…but I think it’s fine.
About the sleeping around…why does that have to be a “guy thing” - as long as you’re an adult…it’s your personal life and it’s your business.

It’s like that song
“It's a common double standard of society
The guy gets all the glory the more he can score
While the girl can do the same and yet you call her a wh*re”

I don’t get that. A guy can sleep around as much as he want, it’s even encouraged. A female does the same…and how does she get treated?
Females should be allowed to do as they please ( even if it’s considered "masculine" ), without getting criticised for it.

Just felt I should share…

hmmm…………………………. *takes own advice*

posted September 09, 2005 07:01 AM         

ARent you Aries rising, like me......I agree with you girl...am very feminine but always feel in part, would have made a good bloke ha ha!!

I think that ARies asc comes across as quite assertive and male - I love it to be honest.....and if I choose to walk into a pub on my own and sit at the bar and order a pint....so what.....when the men look at me.....I just look back as if to see....yeah I am a woman on my own....not a feckin alien......LOL !!!

One bloke acted very surprised cos he saw me with my hubbie...."oh" said he "didnt know you were married" "what just becoz I go out ONCE a week on my own" I replied.......I found that a little strange!!!

A woman, like a man, a dog, a cat, a rabbit, a hamster, or a bird or a bee should have the freedom to do what they want.....dont you think guys??

Love and freedome to all

posted September 09, 2005 07:04 AM         

Love

posted September 09, 2005 07:17 AM         

Yes and freedom to all
I go out and do what I want - and as long as I’m not hurting anyone…or breaking the law, there’s nothing wrong with it - more power to Aries rising it’s brilliant to talk to someone who actually gets it, you know.

posted September 09, 2005 07:18 AM         

quote:

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You know what these people need to do ( both women and men ) - stop thinking so hard about things that don’t matter and RELAX

---

I completely agree with that..

quote:

---

No seriously…I think many females are just breaking away from what they “should be“…or what society expects from them. And they’re just being themselves - altho they are still criticised for it.
Who’s to say how women should act……or how men should act. Let's just be freeeeeeee. I talked to this one guy, who told me society is harsh on men…more so than women. Who knew. See, society is the enemy lol.

---

I know lol.. I'm sorry I'm not criticising the attitude in itself. I think everyone should be able to do what makes them happy. Everyone can sleep with whomever and however many times they want to lol My only problem is with people (both girls and guys, but in this context I was talking about girls, feminists) "showing of" about that..as though it's something to be oh so proud of. I don't see it as something to be proud of or something to be ashamed of.. just something you do.. Just a choice.. You feel comfortable initiating, going after the guy, sleeping with multiple partners that's fine.. You don't feel comfortable and want to sit and wait till they come to you.. that's fine as well.. Or if you want go middle ground (Libra style lol) and both initiate and take the back seat by turns..that's fine as well
I see it as a choice..

What bothers me is when I hear those girls, who I do perceive as feminists (because I feel as though they do it for feminist reasons, though I could be wrong) showing of and going on and on about how they always initiate etc.. I mean I don't know what to say to them lol. It's like "so you initiate so what? do you want me to give you a medal for it?.. It's just something you do..It's not something you've accomplished" (to me it seems like they're very proud of themselves because they do what *men do*-have done, for centuries..and those same girls often tell men those things as well..such as "im not the typical girl I go after what I want, I always chase, I'm confident" (as though chasing makes one more confident or better lol) I just find it very silly.. I have no idea why they'd be so proud of that. I could do that myself if I chose to..anyone could.. and anyone can choose not to do it.. whatever suits each individual.

quote:

---

I don’t believe there’s anything wrong with being the initiator - I’m not one myself…but I think it’s fine.
About the sleeping around…why does that have to be a “guy thing” - as long as you’re an adult…it’s your personal life and it’s your business.

---

I agree with that as well.. There's nothing wrong with whatever you choose to do, as long as you're comfortable with it and it makes you happy.. But when you try to make it sound as though *your way is better*..I believe that's inaccurate and not very nice. Those are the types of girls, feminists I was talking about. The types who act as though being the initiator ..isn't just a choice, that anyone can make (and it isn't "just fine") BUT better and something to be VERY proud of.. like an accomplishment almost. And something ALL FEMALES should be doing this day in age.. it's almost as if they have a "how dare you not chase and be assertive, that's so beneath women in todays society" attitude. I disagree wholeheartedly..Like I said I believe everyoen should do what suits them.

I don't like that attitude..because I don't see it as an accoplishment (to me it's something anyone can choose to do or not do..it's like showing of about being able to walk or run) and I don't see how they'd see *that* as something that makes them "equal" to men..

I hope I made it a bit clearer now.. I don't have a prob with people's choices but when they try to make it sound as though their choice is superior and they should be rewarded or put on a pedestal for it.. "that" I don't agree with.

posted September 09, 2005 07:28 AM         

Right now, I have the pleasure of trans Mercury opp my Sun - nice lol

As always, I have loads of respect for you

posted September 09, 2005 07:35 AM         

I also have a lot of respect for you.. I remember on a different thread you had posted your chart and it was very similar to my best friends' Pisces with Venus/Mars in Aries and an earth moon.

posted September 09, 2005 07:58 AM         

you loads hun

posted September 09, 2005 09:32 PM         

Hey WN... I just wanted to throw in there that I am a Libran that cries over all sorts of things.

I've cried over my anger at this hurricane situation lately... several times, actually.

Brand new babies bring tears to my eyes.

I cry when I'm happy... when I'm sad... when I'm frustrated or angry.

I'm a cryin' Libra. BUT, I have a Cancer Moon (Gemini Rising)