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Author
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Topic: Why are people around my age intimidated by me?
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lindisfarne
Knowflake Posts: 1108
From: she doesn't know that i left my urge in the icebox
Registered: Oct 2011
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posted December 05, 2011 10:42 AM
  
I have been told by lots of people I come off as harsh, even with my appearance. I notice for some reason I intimidate people (this is what people have been seeing based on first impression) Both men and women I get his complaint I guess that they are often afraid to come up and strike up a conversation with me. I don't know if it's my monotone general facial expression I can't understand how I could scare people to be honest.It's that or, apparently I come off as harsh with
my speech? I guess the delivery of it. It gets me into trouble I find that sometimes people misunderstand what I say and take it out of context and paint me in a light I'm not meant to be in "harsh, mean" etc. It's mostly water signs that feel this way but someone else pointed it out and suggested it was My Saturn conjunc Ascendant, that made me come off as harsh especially towards people around my age, that I'm "serious" "real" and they take it the wrong way. Is this true? I've been told I have a striking beauty physically but I am not an intimidating person at all, I'm harmless. Would Saturn conjunct ASC give people this impression that I am unapproachable, too real, too serious/intimidating? This happens online and offline someone has to point it out to me it's either someone will tell me so and so thinks I'm intimidating or online people will indirectly talk about me instead of approaching me directly via email/private messaging.. I do not think I am a scary person.. blunt, needing to know all kinds of information, I do lack diplomacy that's something I'm aware of too.. Any other aspects that make people get the wrong impression of you usually negative?? They need to really "get to know" how i operate and find that I'm the exact opposite of how they first perceive me "scary/mean"  IP: Logged |
amowls**
Knowflake Posts: 1914
From:
Registered: Dec 2010
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posted December 05, 2011 10:53 AM
I have Saturn and Uranus opposite ASC and people are often afraid to approach me, as well. I have "b*tch face."IP: Logged |
CAY_512
Knowflake Posts: 372
From:
Registered: Nov 2010
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posted December 05, 2011 10:55 AM
I would say it might be that your giving off a more serious Saturn energy (saturn in the 1st house) than just your aquarius rising engergy. IP: Logged |
lindisfarne
Knowflake Posts: 1108
From: she doesn't know that i left my urge in the icebox
Registered: Oct 2011
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posted December 05, 2011 11:09 AM
quote:
Originally posted by CAY_512:
I would say it might be that your giving off a more serious Saturn energy (saturn in the 1st house) than just your aquarius rising engergy.
When you suggest this, do you mean Saturn's energy dominates my chart, giving others the impression I am too serious, mean and intimidating? I've this complaint "too serious" "you take it so seriously" which is weird because I'm down-to-earth once I sense it's safe to let my guard down. I'm also very cautious. I never related well to the Uranus wacky style, I was always more serious even as a child... mature then my age group.. IP: Logged |
lindisfarne
Knowflake Posts: 1108
From: she doesn't know that i left my urge in the icebox
Registered: Oct 2011
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posted December 05, 2011 11:10 AM
quote:
Originally posted by amowls**:
I have Saturn and Uranus opposite ASC and people are often afraid to approach me, as well. I have "b*tch face."
lmao, what sign is in Saturn and Uranus? IP: Logged |
VenusDiSirius
Knowflake Posts: 4352
From: Surfing Kite. Seriously.
Registered: Aug 2010
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posted December 05, 2011 11:13 AM
You don't sound intimidating. Maybe you want to be?IP: Logged |
lindisfarne
Knowflake Posts: 1108
From: she doesn't know that i left my urge in the icebox
Registered: Oct 2011
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posted December 05, 2011 11:18 AM
The other day some woman told me to "chill" I didn't understand why she said that because I wasn't upset or angry, I was simply responding to her calmy but she took what I said I suppose the tone of it came off as very serious? So she told me to "chill". I often get that comment from mostly people that dont know me well enough, "you need to relax/chill out I don't know why you're angry." For example I can think of a discussion I once had with someone:
girl: why are you so angry? why do you hate me and hold grudge towards me?
me: what am I angry about? why would I hate you? who said I hated you? I don't even know you. what grudge do I have towards you?
girl: you need to relax.
me: I am relaxed. you're throwing odd accusations at me and you still won't respond to the questions I've asked.
girl: you need to chill, see you seem angry
me: im not angry, I'm responding to you, you cant answer my questions.see something like that. someone will say something directed towards me and I guess they dont expect me to say something/respond? and when I do they think I'm angry and need to relax. I'm not throwing things and yelling often my voice is relaxed and my body is relaxed but some people like this "girl" tell me I should relax or "chill" I don't really understand it. I'm only trying to get how others perceive me as being "serious". *confused*
IP: Logged |
lindisfarne
Knowflake Posts: 1108
From: she doesn't know that i left my urge in the icebox
Registered: Oct 2011
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posted December 05, 2011 11:22 AM
quote:
Originally posted by VenusDiSirius:
You don't sound intimidating. Maybe you want to be?
Why would I want to be intimidating? People tell I am and are often afraid to approach me. This happens all the time, I could be doing my own thing, sitting alone for the rest of god knows how long, and someone will say "wow I thought you were the biggest b*tch no offense you're really intimidating we've wanted to talk to you but you seem like a btch so we or I never approached you." guys say this, so do girls. And i do not understand how or why. It's not something I purposely seek to be. Maybe it's an introvert thing. IP: Logged |
CAY_512
Knowflake Posts: 372
From:
Registered: Nov 2010
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posted December 05, 2011 11:28 AM
lindisfarne I don't think your mean or anything. You have lots of water and 12th house placements. I think your sensitive and deep but I think you may come off a little serious or conservative with a 1st house Saturn. I also think that some placements are stronger than others and I would think the Saturn energy would dominate in your personality. The best thing I would say is just to know and understand and love all your energies. You may be a very sensitive giving individual and maybe the Saturn first house may protect you from others trying to take advantage of your good will.IP: Logged |
amowls**
Knowflake Posts: 1914
From:
Registered: Dec 2010
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posted December 05, 2011 12:00 PM
quote:
Originally posted by lindisfarne:
lmao, what sign is in Saturn and Uranus?
Sagittarius. In high school the "popular" girls would always say to my friend "omg does amowls hate us? WHYYY" I've learned that it's hard for me to make friends because of this. IP: Logged |
lindisfarne
Knowflake Posts: 1108
From: she doesn't know that i left my urge in the icebox
Registered: Oct 2011
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posted December 05, 2011 12:09 PM
quote:
Originally posted by amowls**:
Sagittarius.In high school the "popular" girls would always say to my friend "omg does amowls hate us? WHYYY" I've learned that it's hard for me to make friends because of this.
This!!!! I relate to that. Are you reserved? Is that your personality?
IP: Logged |
scrappydog
Knowflake Posts: 1054
From: Texas
Registered: May 2009
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posted December 05, 2011 04:19 PM
When I read your post the first thing I thought was a strong pluto, but your pluto isnt. I think its a combination of saturn in your 1st and that t sqaure of mars, uranus, jupiter. I've seen a lot of posts and discussions by you and you dont strike me as mean/intimidating tho. I wish I could see a pic of you to read you better. IP: Logged |
mintgirl123
Knowflake Posts: 2393
From:
Registered: Nov 2009
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posted December 05, 2011 04:36 PM
lol! I think maybe the saturn in the first might make you appear alittle stern at times. And alot of people are more used to like 'fake friendliness' so if you're all like '__' instead of like =D all the time then sometimes people take it the wrong way.IP: Logged |
RegardesPlatero
Moderator Posts: 4367
From: Storybrooke, Mr. Gold's Shop
Registered: Sep 2011
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posted December 05, 2011 05:00 PM
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KarkaQueen
Knowflake Posts: 584
From: Uranus
Registered: May 2011
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posted December 05, 2011 05:27 PM
quote:
Originally posted by lindisfarne:
I have been told by lots of people I come off as harsh, even with my appearance. I notice for some reason I intimidate people (this is what people have been seeing based on first impression) Both men and women I get his complaint I guess that they are often afraid to come up and strike up a conversation with me. I don't know if it's my monotone general facial expression I can't understand how I could scare people to be honest.It's that or, apparently I come off as harsh with
my speech? I guess the delivery of it. It gets me into trouble I find that sometimes people misunderstand what I say and take it out of context and paint me in a light I'm not meant to be in "harsh, mean" etc. It's mostly water signs that feel this way but someone else pointed it out and suggested it was My Saturn conjunc Ascendant, that made me come off as harsh especially towards people around my age, that I'm "serious" "real" and they take it the wrong way. Is this true? I've been told I have a striking beauty physically but I am not an intimidating person at all, I'm harmless. Would Saturn conjunct ASC give people this impression that I am unapproachable, too real, too serious/intimidating? This happens online and offline someone has to point it out to me it's either someone will tell me so and so thinks I'm intimidating or online people will indirectly talk about me instead of approaching me directly via email/private messaging.. I do not think I am a scary person.. blunt, needing to know all kinds of information, I do lack diplomacy that's something I'm aware of too.. Any other aspects that make people get the wrong impression of you usually negative?? They need to really "get to know" how i operate and find that I'm the exact opposite of how they first perceive me "scary/mean"
oh lol. I have Saturn square ASC and Neptune conjunct and a lot of my peers think I'm "weird", "angry", 'sleepy" or retarded.
IP: Logged |
KarkaQueen
Knowflake Posts: 584
From: Uranus
Registered: May 2011
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posted December 05, 2011 05:27 PM
quote:
Originally posted by lindisfarne:
I have been told by lots of people I come off as harsh, even with my appearance. I notice for some reason I intimidate people (this is what people have been seeing based on first impression) Both men and women I get his complaint I guess that they are often afraid to come up and strike up a conversation with me. I don't know if it's my monotone general facial expression I can't understand how I could scare people to be honest.It's that or, apparently I come off as harsh with
my speech? I guess the delivery of it. It gets me into trouble I find that sometimes people misunderstand what I say and take it out of context and paint me in a light I'm not meant to be in "harsh, mean" etc. It's mostly water signs that feel this way but someone else pointed it out and suggested it was My Saturn conjunc Ascendant, that made me come off as harsh especially towards people around my age, that I'm "serious" "real" and they take it the wrong way. Is this true? I've been told I have a striking beauty physically but I am not an intimidating person at all, I'm harmless. Would Saturn conjunct ASC give people this impression that I am unapproachable, too real, too serious/intimidating? This happens online and offline someone has to point it out to me it's either someone will tell me so and so thinks I'm intimidating or online people will indirectly talk about me instead of approaching me directly via email/private messaging.. I do not think I am a scary person.. blunt, needing to know all kinds of information, I do lack diplomacy that's something I'm aware of too.. Any other aspects that make people get the wrong impression of you usually negative?? They need to really "get to know" how i operate and find that I'm the exact opposite of how they first perceive me "scary/mean"
oh lol. I have Saturn square ASC and Neptune conjunct and a lot of my peers think I'm "weird", "angry", 'sleepy" or retarded.
IP: Logged |
Betty Boop
Knowflake Posts: 3377
From: Betty Boop Land
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted December 05, 2011 07:46 PM
Although your Aries-obsession is annoying.. and I’ll try to avoid those threads in the future….. for whatever reason, as much as one can tell online – I think you are a very likable person!
Maybe it’s my Jupiter conj your Moon.
You have a very upbeat personality and lots of mental energy – constant new ideas.. new threads – always asking engaging questions. Most of the time you act like positive side of Aquarius Mercury. I have Merc sq Uranus so I like Aqua Merc.
But every so often it descends into bit*chiness… Maybe that’s why people are put off or intimidated. IP: Logged |
Betty Boop
Knowflake Posts: 3377
From: Betty Boop Land
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted December 05, 2011 07:54 PM
Oh wow.. I also have Uranus on your NN! I think that's a friendly aspect.IP: Logged |
ElizabethO
Knowflake Posts: 471
From:
Registered: Nov 2011
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posted December 05, 2011 08:00 PM
I don't think you're purposefully disrespectful, yet it is evident that you don't put much stock or effort in being judicious with your choice of words or tone. You just need to learn tactfulness when speaking to others, especially on an online public forum with so many different people from so many different walks of life. You're very mature for 19 (I assume. I can't remember, and your birthday is blacked out in your chart), but you still have a lot to learn about different perspectives. That can only be learned with age and time.The great thing about Aquarius is that you mean what you say, and say what you mean... but quite often you don't realize the meaning of what you say to others. You feel no need to sugar coat or be diplomatic. However, if you want to have pleasant relations, you must learn social tact. You can't please everyone, but you can certainly **** off a whole crowd with a single ill-conceived word. Just my two cents. EDIT: Also, one can be tactful and truthful at the same time. It's not a sign of ingenuity; it's a sign of respect. Everyone deserves dignity, even if you don't agree with them. IP: Logged |
Libreo
Knowflake Posts: 1078
From: Australia
Registered: Sep 2011
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posted December 05, 2011 08:19 PM
quote:
Originally posted by ElizabethO:
I don't think you're purposefully disrespectful, yet it is evident that you don't put much stock or effort in being judicious with your choice of words or tone. You just need to learn tactfulness when speaking to others, especially on an online public forum with so many different people from so many different walks of life. You're very mature for 19 (I assume. I can't remember, and your birthday is blacked out in your chart), but you still have a lot to learn about different perspectives. That can only be learned with age and time.The great thing about Aquarius is that you mean what you say, and say what you mean... but quite often you don't realize the meaning of what you say to others. You feel no need to sugar coat or be diplomatic. However, if you want to have pleasant relations, you must learn social tact. You can't please everyone, but you can certainly **** off a whole crowd with a single ill-conceived word. Just my two cents. EDIT: Also, one can be tactful and truthful at the same time. It's not a sign of ingenuity; it's a sign of respect. Everyone deserves dignity, even if you don't agree with them.
Agreed. A little poise isn't a weakness.
IP: Logged |
SpooL
Knowflake Posts: 449
From: Toronto/Ottawa,Canada
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted December 05, 2011 10:10 PM
Well, it a tought call you are mature for your age, but most aquarians are assertive and it appears as hostile.I know my aqua freind is its more of a mix of her nervousness mixed with having to push to get things done. I whould do the same, but because I'm a guy a guy being firm and assertive is viewed diffrent from a girl trying to be assertive. Assertive women are seen as a b*tch, but they get the job done. It a tought call especially now since society has collapsed, you rally have to push to get things done and done right. Christ, I was almost a victim of a bureaucratic nightmare when I switch majors. If I wasn't assertive nothing whould have gotten done. I really didn't give a d*mn if they viewed me as hostile. The fact is I was promised it whould have been done and if the administrative staff simply did there jobs,
I whouldn't have been in a mess. I acted professional and was polite. Who are these people? and have you tried to find people who share the same views and ideas as yourself?. I'm betting you just haven't found and "connected" to the right people. ---------------------------------------
Capircorn Rising
Gemini Sun, 5th House
Aries Moon
Mercury in Gemini
Venus In Taurus
Mars Cancer IP: Logged |
Betty Boop
Knowflake Posts: 3377
From: Betty Boop Land
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted December 05, 2011 10:23 PM
quote:
Assertive women are seen as a b*tch, but they get the job done.
You can be assertive. You can get the job done.
You needn't be bit*chy.
When one seems extremely verbally bit*chy it sounds like they are overcompensating - like the dog that barks a lot but doesn't actually have a bite.
People who behave this way can be underestimated, in particular women. The general reaction is "She must be PMS-ing...." OR "She is overly emotional. Typical female!".. mainly in a career setting.
People who seem calm and collected are perceived as stronger. IP: Logged |
ElizabethO
Knowflake Posts: 471
From:
Registered: Nov 2011
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posted December 05, 2011 10:24 PM
quote:
Originally posted by ElizabethO:
I don't think you're purposefully disrespectful, yet it is evident that you don't put much stock or effort in being judicious with your choice of words or tone. You just need to learn tactfulness when speaking to others, especially on an online public forum with so many different people from so many different walks of life. You're very mature for 19 (I assume. I can't remember, and your birthday is blacked out in your chart), but you still have a lot to learn about different perspectives. That can only be learned with age and time.The great thing about Aquarius is that you mean what you say, and say what you mean... but quite often you don't realize the meaning of what you say to others. You feel no need to sugar coat or be diplomatic. However, if you want to have pleasant relations, you must learn social tact. You can't please everyone, but you can certainly **** off a whole crowd with a single ill-conceived word. Just my two cents. EDIT: Also, one can be tactful and truthful at the same time. It's not a sign of ingenuity; it's a sign of respect. Everyone deserves dignity, even if you don't agree with them.
Just realized I used the wrong word. Ingenuity means creative genius. I meant disingenuous. See - no one is perfect! The more you know.  IP: Logged |
SpooL
Knowflake Posts: 449
From: Toronto/Ottawa,Canada
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted December 05, 2011 10:33 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Betty Boop:
You can be assertive. You can get the job done.
You needn't be bit*chy.
When one seems extremely verbally bit*chy it sounds like they are overcompensating - like the dog that barks a lot but doesn't actually have a bite.
People who behave this way can be underestimated, in particular women. The general reaction is "She must be PMS-ing...." OR "She is overly emotional. Typical female!".. mainly in a career setting.
People who seem calm and collected are perceived as stronger.
I just wanted to clear the air.
There is a diffrence between bit*chy and pusing to get things done. Assertive is not the same you can be profesional while being asertive. bit*chy is simply complaining. I worked for 2 diffrent goverment departments, I had to be assertive to get things done. No one ever complained about me being intimidating or bitchy. They actually like it that someone pushes to get the ball moving. Although, I'm suppose to be the young intern that didn't know jack. Of course they offered to make me permanent. But it just wasn't for me. ---------------------------------------
Capircorn Rising
Gemini Sun, 5th House
Aries Moon
Mercury in Gemini
Venus In Taurus
Mars Cancer IP: Logged |
Betty Boop
Knowflake Posts: 3377
From: Betty Boop Land
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted December 05, 2011 10:36 PM
quote:
you can be profesional while being asertive.bit*chy is simply complaining.
 IP: Logged |
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