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Author
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Topic: Scorpio man completely iced me out...
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Tiara
Knowflake Posts: 29
From:
Registered: Nov 2012
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posted November 21, 2012 08:36 AM
  
I have published a threat a few days ago about my Scorpio fiancée completely withdrawing from me out of his personal issues he is going through. Things have gotten worse though and I'd really need all the advice I can at this point as I don't know how to deal with it. I tried the whole not calling, ignoring part however I have a feeling it's backfiring as after not contacting him for a few days I wake up this morning seeing that he published a song on Facebook with the title "I will leave you"...even though he is very artistic it's hard not to take this to heart. I tried calling and texting him but no response at all so far. I may have come across as being clingy but all my messages simply include that I am supporting him and that I do care for him in this challenging time. I must add that we never had any dramas and our relationship has always been very harmonious and communication been great. Out of your experiences could I expect this man to be back in my life again?IP: Logged |
Doux Rêve
Moderator Posts: 2207
From:
Registered: Dec 2010
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posted November 21, 2012 08:47 AM
I think you should leave him alone.
At this point he knows you care for him - there's no point in contacting him anymore.
The question is: does *he* care for you?You'll know it very soon, I'm sure.
If he keeps ignoring you, that's probably because he realized that you aren't what he wants/needs, or he is questioning the whole thing.
Good luck.
IP: Logged |
YoursTrulyAlways
Knowflake Posts: 4183
From:
Registered: Oct 2011
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posted November 21, 2012 08:53 AM
Wait a minute.You are engaged to be married, and he's shutting you out because of his own personal issues? That's inexcusable. I think it's incumbent on you to lay it out for him and say what you have to say right into his face. Obviously, you care for him very much. I hope he has reciprocal feelings. I find hiding irritating. BTW, I'm male. IP: Logged |
Tiara
Knowflake Posts: 29
From:
Registered: Nov 2012
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posted November 21, 2012 08:56 AM
That's true. Thanks Doux...I wish I'd have done the leaving him alone part earlier, but it's just so hard after being together every day to cut down to zero...Anyway, thanks again and I will do my best to stay "sane" and patient...IP: Logged |
anonymidarkness
Knowflake Posts: 359
From:
Registered: Aug 2012
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posted November 21, 2012 08:56 AM
Give him some time to sort out his things.If his problem is with you then I dont think he will come back again.Scorpio is my dominant sign and if I leave a person I never go back,even if I love that person.Is he insecure?maybe he is evaluating whether he is good enough for you or not,just give him some time,dont react now.IP: Logged |
Tiara
Knowflake Posts: 29
From:
Registered: Nov 2012
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posted November 21, 2012 09:05 AM
I agree. It's terrible and he does t give me the chance to say anything at all which makes it harder as I think this distance he is creating is so destructive...I will definitely say something when we get the chance to meet though. He is travelling for a few days soon and I am only hoping that he will face these issues and contact me, I haven't really made any drama or anything and I have been very accepting and positive towards him and my communication for him so far. I know his love for me is very strong and all I can do is to hope that he will overcome his fears...guys I can't describe how thankful I am for your advices. It really helps and makes it all a bit more bearable...IP: Logged |
Doux Rêve
Moderator Posts: 2207
From:
Registered: Dec 2010
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posted November 21, 2012 09:07 AM
If anything a Scorpio will doubt YOU and not himself, unless he's *really* insecure. Cause let's face it. Few people, especially guys, would sabotage something worthwile just because they feel like they "don't deserve you" or whatever. There are exceptions I guess.But it seems strange to me that he shut you out because of "personal problems", given that you're *engaged*. Maybe he has commitment issues? Maybe he wants his freedom back. Or he is wondering if you're the right person for him. In any case, that's really disrespectful of him and you should definitely call him out on his BS cause otherwise he'll think you're ok with that and do it over and over again (ignore you). Tell him you deserve an explanation.
Because you do. I'm so tired of people who can't behave properly. Like, you're a human being, dammit. Not a toy to take for granted.
What sign are you, Tiara?
Is your synastry good? Any Uranus/Neptune hard aspects?
IP: Logged |
Tiara
Knowflake Posts: 29
From:
Registered: Nov 2012
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posted November 21, 2012 09:08 AM
Btw, yes he does have insecurities as I am much younger and he has kids and has been divorced etc. but things went very well and even his kids and I have been best friends and they always supported us being being together. IP: Logged |
Tiara
Knowflake Posts: 29
From:
Registered: Nov 2012
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posted November 21, 2012 09:11 AM
I agree Doux. It's totally unfair...I am a Virgo I think with libra influences. We never had any major issues and usually we r able to communicate everything do this behaviour really irritates me. Maybe he should see me blocking him out totally, but it's so hard for me as we as virgos are by all or nothing and once I grow cold that's usually very tuff so I actually didn't want to go that route but at this point I may have to as that may be the only way...IP: Logged |
Tiara
Knowflake Posts: 29
From:
Registered: Nov 2012
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posted November 21, 2012 09:13 AM
Oh, and commitment issues big time as he has been in a very unhappy marriage before and he mentioned his fears to me in the past which i totally unrstand. He kept reassuring me that he'd work on that though as he loves me like he has never loved anyone. IP: Logged |
Doux Rêve
Moderator Posts: 2207
From:
Registered: Dec 2010
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posted November 21, 2012 09:44 AM
Okay then, maybe he needs time.
If he had painful experiences, that may be why he's a bit.. weird.
Virgos! Scorpios like Virgos, for the most part. You guys are kind of like us in a way.
But just try relax and not overanalyze stuff. Just try to be cool, ok? No need to drive yourself crazy. Time will tell everything you need to know.. At some point you'll know. Hang in there. 
IP: Logged |
Tiara
Knowflake Posts: 29
From:
Registered: Nov 2012
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posted November 21, 2012 09:50 AM
Thanks Doux..Yes, it's true, we are very similar in our character traits. I will give it time for sure. I truly believe that things are just better and always easier when your mindset is completely positive and focused on Love. I must admit this has been very tuff though, especially today...Thanks so much for the encouragement...IP: Logged |
Pisces-Sweety
Knowflake Posts: 59
From: unknown
Registered: Aug 2012
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posted November 21, 2012 10:34 AM
Wait, what? You're engaged to this guy and he's shutting you out? Look, I think you need to think about this seriously. I mean.. if he's doing that from now imagine how things will be later on. I think you need to leave him alone.. for good! You don't deserve someone treating you this way. How will you put up with a guy who shuts you out when you're married? Please think about this.IP: Logged |
lotus_flower
Knowflake Posts: 58
From: New York
Registered: Nov 2010
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posted November 21, 2012 10:38 AM
Tiara!Hi! I am totally blown away by this: "I may have come across as being clingy but all my messages simply include that I am supporting him and that I do care for him in this challenging time." If you're in a relationship, communication is key! You're not being clingy--you're engaged! You just cannot STOP talking to someone like that? And posting messages on FB with a potential hidden meaning? 0_0! I feel like you are doing exactly what is best--being comforting. Him not responding is simply not kind in my humble opinion. Give it time, but when he comes back, I would have a LONG talk about what went down to make sure it didn't happen again! Scoprios can keep a lot of things to themselves at times--and have a hard time with emotions--and can get closed off when hurt. But, that is not really good for relationships. But, they at the same time want to merge with another person. Sorry this happened to you! :-( IP: Logged |
Tiara
Knowflake Posts: 29
From:
Registered: Nov 2012
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posted November 21, 2012 11:01 AM
Thanks guys, I highly appreciate the support and yes I agree, I will have to communicate it to him. Usually I wouldn't have worried as I am aware that he needs his distance and more than anyone I always support this, this whole situation just gives me a feeling that he may not be aware of this and he feels that I am needy, etc. but like u girls said its not possible to not communicate at all and shut down, all I'd need him to send me a simple comforting message and it would eliminate all my fears that has been created, in stead now I started having the fear that he may have changed his mind. Usually when he gets cooler for a while I'd have never taken it to heart but lately it started making me really nervous hence his complete communication blackout. I must add that he's a very caring, loving and sensitive man and because we always had a very unique and strong bond I am genuinely hoping that this is just a phase...IP: Logged |
Pisces-Sweety
Knowflake Posts: 59
From: unknown
Registered: Aug 2012
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posted November 21, 2012 11:55 AM
The fact that you're tolerating this is beyond me. HE'S supposed to communicate with you esp. since hes the one feeling bad. :\ Do whatever you think is right.IP: Logged |
Evolved1
Knowflake Posts: 40
From: Chicago, IL USA
Registered: Nov 2012
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posted November 21, 2012 12:01 PM
Pisces-Sweety brutal honesty..And they say us Pisces are weak..I would prepare to start going on with my life..I would allow him to figure this out all by himself.I had a Scorpio man try that Icy crap with me, it took me back for a minute but I immediately said wait a minute I havent done anything for him to act like this. I got back Icy and he didnt understan. We werent engaged or anything, but sometimes when you have done all you can speaking his language may be all he understands. IP: Logged |
Tiara
Knowflake Posts: 29
From:
Registered: Nov 2012
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posted November 21, 2012 12:08 PM
I agree with that, I def have done my part at this point... pieces I do respect your honesty very much. I will keep u guys updated on how things go...IP: Logged |
7thGuardian
Knowflake Posts: 403
From: Transylvania
Registered: May 2012
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posted November 21, 2012 02:39 PM
he could be scared of the direction he's heading - feeling "trapped/caged" in current relationship... wile still aiming for freedom. Marriage being the next step - could be one of the things that scares him... made him look at his life from an objective position - and turned cold realizing where he is now ... even if he loves you or maybe he's not sure anymore - he might find his position overwhelming for current time...- could be just a temporary phase - or he could be having "cold feet"... either way - on the longer road - might be better that it happened now than after marriage - gives you a new and clearer perspective on your relationship, might be serious issue but it's better to handle it now than latter... he might come around - but you should have a serious conversation about it... yet - this is just an outside point of view, based on the details you made available - i say this cause i've seen other cases where people ask advices wile making less than half of the story public - and the answer...even if it had some truth in it - was half-truth... so treat this accordingly IP: Logged |
Pisces-Sweety
Knowflake Posts: 59
From: unknown
Registered: Aug 2012
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posted November 21, 2012 03:46 PM
Sorry If I came across as harsh but there's no easy or nice way to say this. You need to talk to him about this. Tell him, "1 2 3 is my problem with this situation.. you are not in this alone. " Cold feet or not, what he's doing isn't making things better. Oh and also.. I just realized this.. "I wake up this morning seeing that he published a song on Facebook with the title "I will leave you"...even though he is very artistic it's hard not to take this to heart. " :@! What the heck? How are people not commenting on this? Please!! Tiara.. TALK TO HIM ABOUT HOW YOU'RE FEELING! Tell him EVERYTHING you feel. It's YOUR right! I don't care what he's feeling, he's supposed to share it with you! He's not in this alone. You two are going to get MARRIED! It's not an individualistic thing anymore. IP: Logged |
Doux Rêve
Moderator Posts: 2207
From:
Registered: Dec 2010
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posted November 21, 2012 04:15 PM
^ Completely agree with PS.You guys need to talk this out. Best of luck, Tiara. I hope things will get clearer for you. And please! Don't put up with unacceptable behaviour! That's the Libra in you. For sure! Just fix boundaries! Learn to assert yourself (without being disrespectful). You need to stand up for yourself. IP: Logged |
Tiara
Knowflake Posts: 29
From:
Registered: Nov 2012
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posted November 22, 2012 12:38 AM
Yes, I need to stand up for myself but we need to talk this out. It's just so hard as he completely ignores me and doesn't give me the chance at all. I think the best thing is to withdraw as well and let him know these things when he's back,ready to talk. Pushing him only makes him be more and more distant. I am actually shocked at this point. Yes, the cold feet thing is completely true, ut how to best handle these things? I guess only with my absence no matter how much it hurts at this point. IP: Logged |
Tiara
Knowflake Posts: 29
From:
Registered: Nov 2012
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posted November 22, 2012 12:46 AM
I totally agree, I need to stand up for myself more.Its just so hard as he doesn't give me any way to communicate to him, he totally shut me off. I guess the best way to let it be and when he returns, which he will if he really loves me I will have to speak about all these incidences. Usually I don't have any issue voicing my point of view or way I feel however lately I was trying to be considerate and out him first as I knew he was g,owing through a ruff patch. The cold feet, yes totally true. How to deal with such thing though? I guess withdrawing as well and giving him the space he needs?IP: Logged |
Tiara
Knowflake Posts: 29
From:
Registered: Nov 2012
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posted November 22, 2012 12:56 AM
I am not sure if my reply has been posted...Anyway, I agree with you guys that I need to speak up. It's just so difficult though as he's not giving me the chance at all. He is blocking all forms of communication at this point. I thing also stepping back for me would be a good idea and just let him be, and once he returns which he will if he loves me like he says I can communicate all these things to him...I have definitely learn for the future though and like you guys said there are two people in this and his current behaviour is not acceptable. Unfortunately I have been very understanding and comforting towards him in the last weeks as I didn't want o be a burden additional to his issues he has been having but at this point I feel disrespected....yes, and the cold feet part is true. He communicated this to me but promised me to work on it. Is it a good idea to totally let it be for now and withdraw from him as well?IP: Logged |
lalalinda
Moderator Posts: 2740
From: nevada
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted November 22, 2012 01:17 AM
Hello Tiara! Welcome to LL  ------------------
"For all those who believe, expect a miracle.”
Linda Goodman 1925-1995 IP: Logged |
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