posted September 03, 2023 01:37 PM            

Virgos might find it awkward and uncomfortable and they are often insecure with their bodies even when they look good.

Neptune/Pisces are not the most confident people around and men with this influence might be very submissive in bed and prefer women that takes the ‘’lead’’ because of insecurity.

posted September 04, 2023 05:41 AM            

Especially for the men.

The placement makes them awfully shy that affecting their confidence about the sex UNLESS you can make them comfortable. They won't truly lose themselves during sex UNLESS feeling safe and trust you. They can just having sex and please you but not totally giving in.

Due to their sensitivity and sentimentality, you can easily increase their sex insecurity just by a comment or criticism about or during sex, so you have to watch what you are saying with them.

Once trust and feeling comfortably safe with you is built, you will realize they are actually a very sexual person like they always want to connect with you a.k.a having sex with you, forget about the insecurity. Sex for them is like a reassurance love.

Being with one, I can totally understand why this is a detriment Mars and it's more difficult in men than women. It's not a masculine sign anyway.

I think every Cancer Mars male needs Venus connection in synastry, best is trine, second is sextile, to keep making them feel like "a man" and who can be more appreciative about their feminine side or how they approach thing in a sideways. It can be worse pairing with Aries venus (who we all know the woman can wear a pants in a relationship and want "A MAN" in a capital letter, zero patience for wishy washy slow passive aggressive actions, they can trigger the easily offended Cancer mars in a bad way as Aries venus is a push lover and can be quite demanding creating more frustration with Cancer mars even sexually).

Sometimes I think the fall/the detriment have to be paired with the exalted/the domicile, to create a balance energy in synastry.

Other factor beside the astrology is: low self-esteem issues and other psychology problems.

posted September 04, 2023 07:57 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Hmmm:
I feel water signs would be able to read you and therefore know how to please

I think saturn hard aspects to mars or venus or 5th house 7th 8th house

---

posted September 04, 2023 08:19 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by ChildofVenus:
What indicates this in a man's chart?

---

posted September 04, 2023 11:59 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Aries23Degrees:
Saturn-Venus
Saturn-Mars
Saturn on 8th house ruler
Saturn in house 8

---

Curious though,

I've been with Saturn-Mars person, not really feel or see he was insecure with the sex. He made me feel like a piece of a meat (maybe because of his Mars in Taurus?). Very focused on himself to perform, very focused on how he would achieve his climax, very focused on the physical that he forgot to see me as the other person. Once he liked certain things, he wouldn't move his as*, and pretty much confidence with his choices in bed.

The only insecurity he had was his d*ck size.

Compared to the Cancer Mars, well, even in the first date you can smell the whole pack of insecurity and the struggle they try to hide. - probably just me who get used to the energy

posted September 05, 2023 02:32 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by hearttreasure:
Curious though,

I've been with Saturn-Mars person, not really feel or see he was insecure with the sex. He made me feel like a piece of a meat (maybe because of his Mars in Taurus?). Very focused on himself to perform, very focused on how he would achieve his climax, very focused on the physical that he forgot to see me as the other person. Once he liked certain things, he wouldn't move his as*, and pretty much confidence with his choices in bed.

The only insecurity he had was his d*ck size.

Compared to the Cancer Mars, well, even in the first date you can smell the whole pack of insecurity and the struggle they try to hide. - probably just me who get used to the energy

So, what happen to Saturn-Mars? What's exactly their sex insecurity?

---

Interesting that you mentioned insecurity with d*** size . As that can literally translate to Mars-Sat I.e. feeling his manhood (Mars) is limited(Sat).

What you spoke of there about paying attention to technique and being particular, is exactly what the insecurity is all about.

For these folks, sex can feel like "work" or a challenge to 'rise to your occasion" & overimpress the mate with their sexual prowess,in an effort to win approval as being "the best" in bed etc. So it's not about fun or connection. Nor spontaneity.But for many, its more about precision, planning and ensuring one's reputation (in bed) remains "intact".

There is a disconnect here with the "pleasure" aspect of sex-kinda like a porn star.The "pleasure" is from getting a "thumbs up" from the fans.

The ego is very "performance" invested, as Mars-Sat can be VERY conscious of performance (Mars) appraisals (Sat). This is not only sex, but things around their self assertion (Mars) i.e. body type, manner of walking, fighting skills ability to get ahead of others etc.

So for men, they can feel judged on their 'manhood' constantly and wanting to live up to some ideal. And if "success" is not had through the bedroom, it will be through attaining control and material success by beating the competition and impressing others through lofty ambitious goals achieved! Hence Mars in Cap is "exalted" in this position. It's VERY competitive and attached to ego success.

I often see "Machoness", "Machismo" and even misogynistic tendencies to be there too in this personality.There is a traditional/conservative outlook to what constitutes "manhood".And that's because there's conditioned perfectionsistic approaches to expressing the divine masculine.This to such an extent, that it can result in putting down the divine feminine within and then (by extension) without.

So you may notice that they like to be "on top" as men and being the one "dominating"? They prefer submissiveness of the partner and for them to be given complete control over your body in bed? There may even be sadism involved in the act of sex? The act can be aggressive or be to "incept" or "plant" a seed than having them being on the receptive side?

*sidenote-Interestingly enough, Cancer/ Moon- Mars(the opposite archetype) is turned on by "making a baby" and can be more "receptive" or the one being "impregnated" etc. Could there be inherent sexual compatibility between the two?

But back to Sat-Mars.So yes, they can be sexually objectifying.And that's because the act lacks emotional connection with the mate. Unless other factors are filtered in,they are focused on themselves and controlling their anxiety to not "mess it up" etc.

For example, try to get them to do something spontaneous. Then see how confused and turned off they get. New territory /new partners or novel approaches to intimacy, can intimidate them. Not excite them.

Security (for me) is not context sensitive and does not rely on following a 'step by step' guide without. It is about following the whims within. And they can often think sex is about maintaining control over someone or mesmerizing them with their "abilities".

That's not what sex is about. And it hides an insecurity in them I.e. trying to prove that they are good (Mars) enough (Sat).

In gay men, this can be projected to the partner (if the individual doesn't "own" it) I.e. looking for the "badass top" whilst they are the "submissive bottom" who'll do anything for their "Daddy".

Sometimes there can be dismissiveness /homophobic tendencies to feminine men if they are themselves feminine (ironically) or closeted. And this is because of trying to align to accepted or conventional masculine standards and finding a "deficiencies" in any deviatons from that.

Or(if masculine identifying), they can be drawn to more passive men . Once again to clarify the roles in the relationship towards more traditional and conventional standards etc.

posted September 05, 2023 07:19 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Aries23Degrees:
@ChildofVenus

There is a Sat-Mars square aspect in the chart. The native can feel performance anxiety or being "judged" sexually.

---

Is there anything I can do to make him not feel this way? He asked me if I had an orgasm and he wanted to know when. He said he knows women lie about it. For me, I have never had an orgasm during sex with a man. I'm saying penetration doesn't make me orgasm. I don't want to tell him this. Because he will probably think something about his performance. There are other things that I like that makes me feel good. I wish he wasn't so focused on whether or not I'm having an orgasm.

posted September 05, 2023 03:25 PM            

So I think Saturn or Chiron in the 8th house.

Saturn or chiron in challenging aspects to planets in the 8th house

In a man chart, Saturn or Chiron in challenging aspects to Mars.

posted September 05, 2023 03:56 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Belage:
The planets that can indicate insecurity are Saturn and to a lesser extent, Chiron.

So I think Saturn or Chiron in the 8th house.

Saturn or chiron in challenging aspects to planets in the 8th house

In a man chart, Saturn or Chiron in challenging aspects to Mars.

The thing about Saturn is that it is a problem when one is young, but if the native works on the issues, things get better as he/she ages.

---

posted September 06, 2023 04:11 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by ChildofVenus:
Is there anything I can do to make him not feel this way? He asked me if I had an orgasm and he wanted to know when. He said he knows women lie about it. For me, I have never had an orgasm during sex with a man. I'm saying penetration doesn't make me orgasm. I don't want to tell him this. Because he will probably think something about his performance. There are other things that I like that makes me feel good. I wish he wasn't so focused on whether or not I'm having an orgasm.

Like, stop worrying if you are doing certain things right.

---

posted September 06, 2023 04:35 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by ChildofVenus:
Is there anything I can do to make him not feel this way? He asked me if I had an orgasm and he wanted to know when. He said he knows women lie about it. For me, I have never had an orgasm during sex with a man. I'm saying penetration doesn't make me orgasm. I don't want to tell him this. Because he will probably think something about his performance. There are other things that I like that makes me feel good. I wish he wasn't so focused on whether or not I'm having an orgasm.

Like, stop worrying if you are doing certain things right.

---

The "worrying about doing things right" is all Saturn. It takes the fun out of sex.

Ever tried sensual play? I think that there is a level of comfort that Sat/ Mars people need in order to truly feel themselves.

So perhaps share your fantasies on what you like? And instead of focusing heavily on a "certain" myopic kind of sex, he'll feel confident letting his inner freak out?

It could be that he also prefers other things that get him off. But he does not share these because of fears surrounding not being "normal".

Sat-Mars can be very preoccupied with convention. This even convention that suppresses THEM. 🤷🏿‍♂️

Take your time with this one. It may take a while. Saturn delays things. So my thinking is that it may even delay his orgasm. As Saturn is all about "hanging on " so much,that it neglects to let go.

Does he have Urinary tract problems or infections? This may be too personal to ask(depending on how long you have been dating). But if he does,that is also the work of Saturn(delays even in urine passing).

It's not about the size of the 🍆. Many men think that it is. And that's because men are visual and think in terms of "bigger is best".

But even with guys who have big 🍆, the Mars-Sat complex may present an issue where it's "too big" and therefore uncomfortable for the mate? This so much so that they don't get as much sex as they would like to get?Again here,Saturn will restrict sex(Mars).

Or else they take too long in coming that it starts to be uncomfortable? Maybe the 🍆 is so big (but flaccid even when "on") so they need to "assist" it in? Which can be a process all on it's own.

Or else there could be a sexual diagnoses that changes the probability of getting as many partners as one would like or desire?Maybe they choose/ are drawn to mates with a low libido who don't really satisfy them sexually or are physically/emotionally distant from them most times etc. Saturn can be very diverse on problems

Saturn-Ven
Saturn-Mars
Saturn in 8th
Saturn-Aries
Saturn-Sco
Mars-Cap
Venus-Cap

These energy placements tend to "hold it in " sexually. If it's not them ,its people or circumstances that they are confronted with that has them "hold back".

posted September 06, 2023 05:27 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Aries23Degrees:
The "worrying about doing things right" is all Saturn. It takes the fun out of sex.

---

posted September 06, 2023 07:27 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by SleepyDiary:
This sounds so much like Virgo too I knew a woman with a Virgo Rising and Mars that acted just like this esp when she got a bit of flak for her oral performance from her then Bf. Virgos don`t always have sex for fun either sometimes they just do it bc they feel they need to but they can be all fine with not having sex for long periods at a time. I find much similarities between Saturn/Cap and Virgo energy.

---

Could it be because Virgo Asc has Saturn ruling the 5th house Cap of "recreation"? So it's like "what recreation?"

But i would look at thàt Mars in house 1. As this position tends to be very competitive and look at things from a competitive pic I.e. seeing themselves as "best" when pitted against another.

We just had a thread recently that quickly heated up when the issue of Mars (Ari) competitiveness was highlighted.So Mars in house 1 would not want to hear of another person being "better" than them at anything. This includes sex.

So with Mars in critical, fault-finding Vir in house 1, the harshest criticism one levels,is against the self. And because they can be so harsh with themselves. They may believe that others external to them, are too ☝🏿

This is not true ofcourse. As we are seldom aware of the faults and flaws as much as Mars in 1st house Virgo's Mercurial perspective is painfully privy to. But all the best of luck in trying to assure them of that.

Vir & Cap by solar chart have Ari & Leo in the 8th house of sex respectively. Sex is almost always a reflection of "self". And thus connected to ego.

Anytime someone has Mars/Sun in house 8 ,sex is a big deal to their self-image. They feel a need to really give it their all and "shine".

posted September 06, 2023 08:28 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Aries23Degrees:
Could it be because Virgo Asc has Saturn ruling the 5th house Cap of "recreation"? So it's like "what recreation?"

But i would look at thàt Mars in house 1. As this position tends to be very competitive and look at things from a competitive pic I.e. seeing themselves as "best" when pitted against another.

We just had a thread recently that quickly heated up when the issue of Mars (Ari) competitiveness was highlighted.So Mars in house 1 would not want to hear of another person being "better" than them at anything. This includes sex.

So with Mars in critical, fault-finding Vir in house 1, the harshest criticism one levels,is against the self. And because they can be so harsh with themselves. They may believe that others external to them, are too ☝🏿

This is not true ofcourse. As we are seldom aware of the faults and flaws as much as Mars in 1st house Virgo's Mercurial perspective is painfully privy to. But all the best of luck in trying to assure them of that.

Vir & Cap by solar chart have Ari & Leo in the 8th house of sex respectively. Sex is almost always a reflection of "self". And thus connected to ego.

Anytime someone has Mars/Sun in house 8 ,sex is a big deal to their self-image. They feel a need to really give it their all and "shine".

And when Sun/Mars is in house 1,they will have a competitive nature about everything (incl.sex) because they are naturally (by default) the type to invest themselves completely in what they are focusing on.

---

posted September 06, 2023 10:04 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Aries23Degrees:
The "worrying about doing things right" is all Saturn. It takes the fun out of sex.

Ever tried sensual play? I think that there is a level of comfort that Sat/ Mars people need in order to truly feel themselves.

So perhaps share your fantasies on what you like? And instead of focusing heavily on a "certain" myopic kind of sex, he'll feel confident letting his inner freak out?

It could be that he also prefers other things that get him off. But he does not share these because of fears surrounding not being "normal".

Sat-Mars can be very preoccupied with convention. This even convention that suppresses THEM. 🤷🏿‍♂️

Take your time with this one. It may take a while. Saturn delays things. So my thinking is that it may even delay his orgasm. As Saturn is all about "hanging on " so much,that it neglects to let go.

Does he have Urinary tract problems or infections? This may be too personal to ask(depending on how long you have been dating). But if he does,that is also the work of Saturn(delays even in urine passing).

It's not about the size of the 🍆. Many men think that it is. And that's because men are visual and think in terms of "bigger is best".

But even with guys who have big 🍆, the Mars-Sat complex may present an issue where it's "too big" and therefore uncomfortable for the mate? This so much so that they don't get as much sex as they would like to get?Again here,Saturn will restrict sex(Mars).

Or else they take too long in coming that it starts to be uncomfortable? Maybe the 🍆 is so big (but flaccid even when "on") so they need to "assist" it in? Which can be a process all on it's own.

Or else there could be a sexual diagnoses that changes the probability of getting as many partners as one would like or desire?Maybe they choose/ are drawn to mates with a low libido who don't really satisfy them sexually or are physically/emotionally distant from them most times etc. Saturn can be very diverse on problems

Saturn-Ven
Saturn-Mars
Saturn in 8th
Saturn-Aries
Saturn-Sco
Mars-Cap
Venus-Cap

These energy placements tend to "hold it in " sexually. If it's not them ,its people or circumstances that they are confronted with that has them "hold back".

As such,they learn to restrict and limit to self-preserve. So they may take time to truly "let go" in intimacy or find their security level there.

---

It's been a year and he's still feeling insecure. I'll try being sensual and also telling him what I like. Recently I asked him what he was into and I told him it's ok if he wasn't comfortable sharing and he stopped talking. He was ashamed to admit that he was into something sexually. But I think he's comfortable with that now. My Mars is in his 8th house and my Saturn trine his Mars. Do you think maybe I can help him with those insecurities?

I tried to make it clear that I like being sexual with him. But I don't know if it got through to him. I'll just keep reiterating it I mentioned something and he got annoyed by it. He said he wasn't really into that particular thing. But I don't know if he was really being honest or not. I'll tell him that I want him to feel comfortable with me and that he doesn't have to hide what he's into.

He did tell me that he likes being both submissive and dominant. But I think he struggles with being dominant. As for having health issues he is a diabetic and I think that might make him feel insecure too. Because men with diabetes sometimes have issues with sex. Something did happen once where he had a low during sex. And I think he lost his well you know. But I didn't make a big deal about it because it wasn't a big deal to me.

posted September 06, 2023 10:06 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by SleepyDiary:
Her Mars actually ends up in the 2nd house but she has an Aries Moon opposite Mars and you know what i feel about women with Aries influence so i definitivly think it’s some truth to what you said about Mars needing to be the ‘’best’’ and her insecurities might have come from that instead. She also had Cap in the 5th with Neptune in there.

---

Oh ok. Noted. Mars house 2 would be likely- depending on the house system.i use whole sign houses. So when Mars is in Virgo and Asc I Virgo, I just take it to be House 1.

There is this girl I knew at work who used to pride herself on how good she is in bed and how her man will never cheat because she is "one bad b***ch" etc.

I thought to myself that she is the kind of woman who thinks of using her feminine charms in a competitive way . This including within the space of intimacy.

I didn't get to know her chart. This because I think I found her energy unsettling. Most guys at the office (like me) actually avoided her.

But this *I would imagine* is one of the ways of how the energy of Mars in 1st/8th and even 7th house , would manifest. Because the latter would be in terms of being the "best partner". So the person would "compete" with exes and try to "outdo" them. Mars energy is very competitive.

And Yes, I do know how you feel about Aries/Mars competitiveness SleepyDiary🤣🤣🤣. I actually didnt realize I was responding to you. And so I am not about to fan that flame🔥 again here 😜

posted September 06, 2023 10:55 AM            

I see that the only planet he has in the 8th house (Venus in Gemini) is unaspected, while Venus is also the ruler of his 8th...

Venus in Gemini wants to talk. So communication is key. I am not sure that you being afraid to tell him how you really feel is helping solve anything. However, keep things lighthearted. Gemini doesn't like drama or deep emotions.

Beyond the limitations or challenges of the natal chart, what to take into consideration is how your natal chart meshes with his. If in your synastry you have beneficial planets landing in his 8th house, or if his 8th house Venus makes beneficial angles with your mars, Jupiter, sun, or moon, chances are you two can overcome and heal the sexual issues.

posted September 06, 2023 10:56 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by ChildofVenus:
It's been a year and he's still feeling insecure. I'll try being sensual and also telling him what I like. Recently I asked him what he was into and I told him it's ok if he wasn't comfortable sharing and he stopped talking.

He was ashamed to admit that he was into something sexually. But I think he's comfortable with that now. My Mars is in his 8th house and my Saturn trine his Mars. Do you think maybe I can help him with those insecurities?

I tried to make it clear that I like being sexual with him. But I don't know if it got through to him. I'll just keep reiterating it I mentioned something and he got annoyed by it. He said he wasn't really into that particular thing. But I don't know if he was really being honest or not. I'll tell him that I want him to feel comfortable with me and that he doesn't have to hide what he's into.

He did tell me that he likes being both submissive and dominant. But I think he struggles with being dominant. As for having health issues he is a diabetic and I think that might make him feel insecure too. Because men with diabetes sometimes have issues with sex.

Something did happen once where he had a low during sex. And I think he lost his well you know. But I didn't make a big deal about it because it wasn't a big deal to me.

Honestly, I'm kind of insecure sexually too so maybe that's why it's not a big deal. I feel like we could work through our sexual insecurities together. But only if he's open to do it.

It's not a situation where I'm going to say "oh I'm tired of you and your hang up I'm going to go and find someone else." I could easily find someone else but I chose not to. Because most people don't really get me on that level. Finding someone who really likes what I like has always been difficult for me.

---

It's a very complex, I can tell you to be vulnerable and show him through encouragement to be "receptive". But men on the whole tend to be resistant to allowing females into their vulnerable areas.

And this is because of the ego attached to how they are being received by the opposite sex i.e. they don't want you to see them as "less".

You dont see them in that light (ofcourse). But they will often imagine that you do. And when you add race /ethnicity/culture into the mix, it can get very intricate.The ego is often a terrible thing to contend with in relationships. It is like having another person there. So it needs to be dealt with to help and not hinder the relationship.🤷🏿‍♂️

With Mars-7th,he thinks of relationships in terms of "I". They are more of an ego driven venture that reflects on him than anything else.

So I imagine that he can be type who doesn't admit to being wrong, slow to apologize openly (if at all), wants to "win" at arguments etc. He wants to be the "best" in the relationship. And admitting to any weaknesses that contradict that, would be out of the question.

He may even opt to use Viagra as a "fix" than have a heart to heart talk about feelings with you. That sqaure of Moon /Merc suggests that he is often saying things that are contradictory or in conflict with how he actually feels. There is a lot of pretension there.

My guess is that the mutual reception of Mercury in Cancer with Moon in Virgo is very sensitive and self critical. So there a projection of external "machoness" to try and "conceal" that.

He is actually better off addressing these issues with you than he is in being able yo face them up.woth another person. Because others would simply dismiss him and move to another person🤷🏿‍♂️

Being vulnerable is very necessary. He has been running away from himself f9r too long or hiding from his truth this far. And with your Saturn trine his Mars,you may be forcing him to face up to his sexuality issues.

Maybe because spontaneity is an issue,another solution would be to consciously look for patterns of when the sex drive peaks and troughs.

So that means that sex(Mars) will be regulated, organized and planned(Sat) I.e. on certain days ,he might be in the mood MORE than in other days.

This would mean that for a month or so, he watches his sex drive to see where it's at its most active. And how the medication has (if any ) effect on it? Etc.

Does he masturbate to porn? What kind? And when turned on,what is it that turns him on? It could be something as small as seeing legs, toes or a woman's panty line etc. Full disclosure and continuous conversation on this topic is very important.

Venus IN Gemini would suggest that the mind is a tool for getting in touch with ones sensual side.So (as I suspected) there is something in talking and verbalizing. And not trying to "censor" or go against what one truly feels.

posted September 06, 2023 12:00 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by ChildofVenus:
It's been a year and he's still feeling insecure. I'll try being sensual and also telling him what I like. Recently I asked him what he was into and I told him it's ok if he wasn't comfortable sharing and he stopped talking. He was ashamed to admit that he was into something sexually. But I think he's comfortable with that now. My Mars is in his 8th house and my Saturn trine his Mars. Do you think maybe I can help him with those insecurities?

I tried to make it clear that I like being sexual with him. But I don't know if it got through to him. I'll just keep reiterating it I mentioned something and he got annoyed by it. He said he wasn't really into that particular thing. But I don't know if he was really being honest or not. I'll tell him that I want him to feel comfortable with me and that he doesn't have to hide what he's into.

He did tell me that he likes being both submissive and dominant. But I think he struggles with being dominant. As for having health issues he is a diabetic and I think that might make him feel insecure too. Because men with diabetes sometimes have issues with sex. Something did happen once where he had a low during sex. And I think he lost his well you know. But I didn't make a big deal about it because it wasn't a big deal to me.

Honestly, I'm kind of insecure sexually too so maybe that's why it's not a big deal. I feel like we could work through our sexual insecurities together. But only if he's open to do it. It's not a situation where I'm going to say "oh I'm tired of you and your hang up I'm going to go and find someone else." I could easily find someone else but I chose not to. Because most people don't really get me on that level. Finding someone who really likes what I like has always been difficult for me.

---

posted September 06, 2023 12:15 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Belage:
@ChildofVenus,

I see that the only planet he has in the 8th house (Venus in Gemini) is unaspected, while Venus is also the ruler of his 8th...

Venus in Gemini wants to talk. So communication is key. I am not sure that you being afraid to tell him how you really feel is helping solve anything. However, keep things lighthearted. Gemini doesn't like drama or deep emotions.

Beyond the limitations or challenges of the natal chart, what to take into consideration is how your natal chart meshes with his. If in your synastry you have beneficial planets landing in his 8th house, or if his 8th house Venus makes beneficial angles with your mars, Jupiter, sun, or moon, chances are you two can overcome and heal the sexual issues.

---

Yes, I know Gemini likes to talk and is light hearted. Do you know what it means to have Venus in the 8th house? I know it's different for every sign. But typically Venus in the 8th house people like passion in regards to love. I also have Venus in the 8th house so I understand the energy. My Mars falls in his 8th house conjunct his Venus.