posted April 05, 2018 09:59 PM            

In a way, I feel very lonely. I have an abundance of male friends, but I wish I had more female friends. Like even just two is enough. Two that are true to me. I’m very selective of who I call “friends” (11th house Saturn in Aries). I’m afraid I’ll probably never get to experience girl’s night out, go shopping with each other, getting makeovers together, etc. These are all things I like to do, but I can never find female friends to do them with. I feel so uncomfortable around them, even with my own classmates. In high school, I felt uncomfortable changing with other females in the changeroom for gym class. I still do, whenever I go to the gym. I would go in a secluded change room to do it. I don’t feel openly affectionate to other females like they do with each other.

The real question is, what in a chart could indicate this? I would think this is an 11th house matter, although I only have Saturn there. Shouldn’t this mean I have trouble getting friends of all sexes? Bc I have no trouble with males..

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Gemini Rising
Sun in Leo (2nd house)
Moon in Cancer (1st house)
Mercury in Virgo (3rd house conj.)
Venus in Virgo (3rd house)
Mars in Libra (5th house)

posted April 06, 2018 03:59 AM            

Especially I feel very intimidated by those who have moon in aries or moon square or opposite or conjunct mars

When I first meet them they give off this bad news vibe to me

posted April 06, 2018 10:39 AM            

I too have always struggled with female friendships. I'm not sure why. It's almost like I struggle to connect with their femininity, particularly with those who are overtly feminine in the traditional sense. It's hard to explain. I never fit in with those "girl groups" where they go shopping together, do brunch on Sundays, that sort of thing...lol.

When I reflect back I think I've found myself closest with females who have a little edge to them. Maybe a little tomboyish in how they present themselves or see the world. Girls who maybe don't take themselves as seriously. I have always found myself more comfortable with male energy in general and maybe I identify with that in a female.

I tend to be closest to females with a lot of Aqua or Sag in their charts it seems. Aqua Moons in particular which is strange because they often square my own Moon.

I have Scorpio Moon trine Mercury, trine Jupiter and sextile Mars.

I have Leo Venus square Pluto exact.

Leo Venus would square my Moon by sign, but not by aspect...

posted April 06, 2018 10:45 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Aries23Degrees:
Do u have Mars/Moon square?

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posted April 06, 2018 12:30 PM            

Honestly, I think it might just be because you're a Leo sun. I have seen some Leo sun women have a very similar problem to you. Jealousy is received from other women or, if not that, then they just have a hard time finding common ground to associate with other women on. I believe the Leo sun is much easier to handle in a male than for the female. To a lesser extent, I have seen this is true for the Leo ASC and Moon also. Sometimes the MC.

posted April 06, 2018 05:11 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by girlwiththerainysoul:
I don't know about your chart but as a girly girl, with a a lot of female energy of water and earth elements in my chart I have noticed that I neatly avoid women who have a lot of masculine energy particularly fire sign moon or suns

Especially I feel very intimidated by those who have moon in aries or moon square or opposite or conjunct mars

When I first meet them they give off this bad news vibe to me

Mind you, for both sexes I'm more comfortable with people who are more feminine than masculine

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That’s literally me but the opposite! I gravitate more towards men and masculine energy people. I feel so uncomfortable and awkward around feminine people, although I still try to reach out in social situations. I kinda have this bias that feminine people cannot be trusted because they can use some underhanded ways to get what they want without you knowing.

I can get along with Aries moons, but at the end of the day, I think they’re still pretty insensitive at times.

I feel an immediate connection with people who have fire Suns even when their Sun don’t aspect mine. With air Suns, it takes me a bit of “digging through” but I generally get along with them too. Earth, I usually get along well with Virgos, and then Scorpios for water.

But at the same time, I noticed that a lot of the girls who’ve had issues with me in the past are ones with a lot of Scorpio or Plutonian energy. Taurus and Libra, too, but not as bad as Plutonians. I remember in elementary, I was chosen to be leader of my group for school and then this Scorpio girl gave me a hard time afterwards. All because she wasn’t chosen.

Gemini suns tend to have lowkey jealousy too but it’s more of an admiration thing like “I wanna be like that” (as one of my old friends said).

quote:

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Originally posted by margym0o:
When I reflect back I think I've found myself closest with females who have a little edge to them. Maybe a little tomboyish in how they present themselves or see the world. Girls who maybe don't take themselves as seriously. I have always found myself more comfortable with male energy in general and maybe I identify with that in a female.

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Yesss!! I’m the same way too. The females I have been truly friends with are like that. My Aries best friend from grade one is still girly but at the same time, she acts like she doesn’t care about anything. A very nice blend of high maintenance and low maintenance. More so the low maintenance, though.

quote:

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Originally posted by capricorncheriscty:
Do your sun and venus semi-sextile or another aspect?

Honestly, I think it might just be because you're a Leo sun. I have seen some Leo sun women have a very similar problem to you. Jealousy is received from other women or, if not that, then they just have a hard time finding common ground to associate with other women on. I believe the Leo sun is much easier to handle in a male than for the female. To a lesser extent, I have seen this is true for the Leo ASC and Moon also. Sometimes the MC.

Whereas the vice versa seems to ring true that Aquarius women have it easier than Aquarius men. Aquarius men seem to spark a lot of uncomfortable situations that makes it hard to be liked by their gender but the Aquarius women seem to be better at making close relationships and garner admiration from fellow women...To a lesser extent, the Aquarius ASC and Moon and of course the MC. I don't know why this is. I just noticed this a while ago. There may or may not be anything behind this and I may just be being dramatic ahaha

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Yes, my Sun is semi-sextile my Venus by 1 degree.

I’m not sure. I have not met too many female Leos. The one I remember was my friend’s ex-girlfriend. She used to go to the same hair school as me and my friend. Every time she came to visit, everyone always talks sh*t behind her back when she leaves.. in front of her boyfriend!

posted April 06, 2018 05:46 PM            

I’ve always had more guy friends growing up. I’ve never been a girly girl. And the girls who were, I noticed were always talking about each other behind their backs and pretending to be nice to each other. Guys are upfront about their issues and they move on when they are done. Girls hang on to them forever and ever.

I played sports growing up so I met a lot of friends through soccer. I found that girls who are athletic are more likely to be down to earth than others. Although I can always tell who the petty ones are in soccer. When they see another girl on the field who they are intimidated by they try to hurt them in some passive aggressive way or taunt them emotionally on the field when the ref isn’t looking. So some girls never grow out of this mentality. It comes out of insecurity.

I’m in my thirties now and I have a few close girl friends. They’re super down to earth and aren’t the type who are drama-y and insecure.

posted April 06, 2018 08:42 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Aries23Degrees:
Do u have Mars/Moon square?

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Does it apply to men too?? Not sure if its my Aries moon square Cancer mars. Or that I'm just an Independent person in general.

I've actually been closer to down to earth women. It really helps to see the picture more broadly that way.

quote:

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Originally posted by polkadotstars:
Girls are just harder to get along with. I think it gets easier as you get older. Because when they are young they are insecure and jealous and super passive aggressive. There’s a reason the movie Mean Girls was so relatable.

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I think the same problem occurs with men but it comes out in a different form or its "sandboxed" contained with men.

My dad is an insecure Cancer male and he just bought a 50 acre farm to brag to make himself feel accomplished.

Guys do the midlife crisis thing a little differently.

I think it also depends on the people you are with and what city you live.

I'm so glad my solar return hit and I was able to leave this cesspit called Ottawa, worst capital in the developed world and its been voted that.

Its predominately a middle class society with people being economically stretched to the limit so you'll have people who aren't normally bad people but are very insecure about everything.

I live somewhere else now, most of people have done well and expect everyone else to do well too or well help other people reach a certain level of success.

posted April 06, 2018 09:06 PM            

tell me about it Solar_Leo_Queen...

I feel your pain I have the same issues and emotions about it. I read Moon opposite Venus can create issues connecting with females. They generally become friends of one gender -- in this case, my life is abundant of male friends. I am around 30 and I feel like I am missing on life, mainly social activities with female friends. I don't feel I belong anywhere.

posted April 06, 2018 09:37 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by SimplyLuna:
How is your Venus/Moon looking? Maybe there is something both in our chart that share commonality. I remember one time someone pointed out my Mars/Uranus parallel dsc can contribute to this.

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My Moon is exactly sextile my Venus. I have Moon in the 1st house and Venus in the 3rd house.

I remember reading through astrology descriptions for my Moon and Venus placements and thinking, “wait what”. My feminine planets are supposed to make me have good relationships with women, but I found that that’s not the case. They’re not bad either, they’re just not great as how the descriptions said they would be.

My Venus is in its fall, too. I thought that may be it, but my sister the same Venus sign in the 11th house and she’s friends with a lot of females.

But I also have Venus square Pluto. Maybe that could be ?

posted April 07, 2018 02:55 AM            

The best explanation I’ve come across for this is not astrological (although, I’m sure astrology could give additional insight).

In personality theory, most females are “sensory feelers”. NT females, make up only about 6.1% of the female population.

I’m pretty sure you’re an NT. Your Ti is obvious and your insights are intuitive in nature.

“In a group of 10 females, you’d be lucky to find even one NT!” - http://www.psychologyjunkie.com/2016/09/12/type-bu llying-and-the-nt-girl-tips-for-parents-of-female-intjs-intps-entjs-entps/

That means only about 6 in every 100 females will have a similar approach to interacting with and interpreting the world. That’s maybe 2 in 34 in a random sample. The odds of you randomly meeting another likeminded female you can have a deeper connection with are not in your favor.

As far as the jealousy and the **** -talking goes, your personality challenges the norm. Society operates on a majority rules basis and you’re not part of that majority. Most women will be just as uncomfortable with you as you are with them but they have the group advantage. They’ll compare their opinions with those of their peers and more likely than not, you’ll be the odd one out. They’ll have less incentive to try to relate to and understand you.

I’ve only met one other female who uses my brand of intuition and I’m in my mid 30s. She’s an ENFJ. We definitely click when drawing intuitive insights. I knew immediately that she was different. Unfortunately, she uses extraverted feeling as her dominant function, which I SUCK at, and it does create tension between us.

She doesn’t really know personality theory. I made her take a test to confirm she’s an ENFJ. Recently, she was venting to me about a situation one of her friends got herself into and told me “I don’t understand. I don’t really get along with ‘regular’ girls.” That told me she feels “different” and like me, she doesn’t relate to most females even though she does relate better on a feeling level. As popular as I know she is, she told me she really only has 1 friend. She’s much younger than me.

Personality profiles are written in ways that glorify NT abilities, but as an NT female myself, that’s definitely not the way I’ve experienced it. It is isolating. If you read the article from the link I posted, we’re even targets for bullying. This doesn’t stop after childhood.

EDIT: The statistics are for the US but it isn’t much different elsewhere.

This is another good resource:
http://personalityhacker.com/phq-questions-advice-for-nt-women/

posted April 07, 2018 04:20 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Solar_Leo_Queen:
No. My Moon is at 9 degrees and my Mars is at 21.

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Oh ok. I think that perhaps there could be an aspect that is easily irritated by pettiness and putting out small fires.

posted April 07, 2018 10:26 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by ReachingForTheStars:

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posted April 07, 2018 02:24 PM            

I'm superbly picky though and that I think is due to my Venus trine Saturn. And my plutonoc personality, all or nothing. Therefore I have very very few female friends.

I have very easy time making male friends aswell, maybe due to my Aries stellium, I can be very forward and happy go lucky and being reliable is something male friends really appreciate aswell.

But due to external things, my female friends I have made will always end up moving away to other countries, or I have to leave the ccountry (I lived in Germany for 4 years and made very close friends and had to leave them behind) so in the end, I have no friends by me physically. The last one I met 2014 and we became very close immidiately! It was like we alwas knew each other! But she married and moved to an other country last summer, so thats that . I did visit her last month in her country but its not the same thing.

posted April 07, 2018 08:38 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by ReachingForTheStars:
Unfortunately, this is my experience too.

The best explanation I’ve come across for this is not astrological (although, I’m sure astrology could give additional insight).

In personality theory, most females are “sensory feelers”. NT females, make up only about 6.1% of the female population.

I’m pretty sure you’re an NT. Your Ti is obvious and your insights are intuitive in nature.

“In a group of 10 females, you’d be lucky to find even one NT!” - http://www.psychologyjunkie.com/2016/09/12/type-bu llying-and-the-nt-girl-tips-for-parents-of-female-intjs-intps-entjs-entps/

That means only about 6 in every 100 females will have a similar approach to interacting with and interpreting the world. That’s maybe 2 in 34 in a random sample. The odds of you randomly meeting another likeminded female you can have a deeper connection with are not in your favor.

As far as the jealousy and the **** -talking goes, your personality challenges the norm. Society operates on a majority rules basis and you’re not part of that majority. Most women will be just as uncomfortable with you as you are with them but they have the group advantage. They’ll compare their opinions with those of their peers and more likely than not, you’ll be the odd one out. They’ll have less incentive to try to relate to and understand you.

I’ve only met one other female who uses my brand of intuition and I’m in my mid 30s. She’s an ENFJ. We definitely click when drawing intuitive insights. I knew immediately that she was different. Unfortunately, she uses extraverted feeling as her dominant function, which I SUCK at, and it does create tension between us.

She doesn’t really know personality theory. I made her take a test to confirm she’s an ENFJ. Recently, she was venting to me about a situation one of her friends got herself into and told me “I don’t understand. I don’t really get along with ‘regular’ girls.” That told me she feels “different” and like me, she doesn’t relate to most females even though she does relate better on a feeling level. As popular as I know she is, she told me she really only has 1 friend. She’s much younger than me.

Personality profiles are written in ways that glorify NT abilities, but as an NT female myself, that’s definitely not the way I’ve experienced it. It is isolating. If you read the article from the link I posted, we’re even targets for bullying. This doesn’t stop after childhood.

EDIT: The statistics are for the US but it isn’t much different elsewhere.

This is another good resource:
http://personalityhacker.com/phq-questions-advice-for-nt-women/

I like reading the comments people leave on that website.

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I was finding that "psychology junkie" site interesting and even relating to it which I often don't on sites like that, but whoa those ads. I think I got half way through before one came up that was flashing red and white and it literally caused a painful sensation in my eyes (it hurt enough that I don't even know what it was advertising as I couldn't look at it). I gave it several seconds to stop and it wouldn't, and it was one of those that would stay on the screen no matter where you scrolled to. I had to give it up. What a disappointment.

x

The "personality hacker" podcast was even better, and without the intrusive ads. And I really related to the growing up experience of the woman speaking as well as an adult, particularly about feeling like an outsider looking in, and being in observation mode, but that it did make connections harder (but not impossible).

And I'm glad they don't portray it as "wrong" as many others would do, people wanting to diagnose it as a disorder for being atypical for whatever reason (plenty of women I can relate to, and as that woman describes herself as, get a diagnosis, which is more stigmatizing them for being different rather than there is actually something wrong with it--and even if I have a disorder, I'll embrace it because I think I gain more than I lose from it).

And I think what that one guy was dancing around (trying to be nice, or maybe "be a man" and not whine) is that society tells us to be ourselves, but then pressures and even punishes those who don't conform. I can also relate to what the woman says toward the end that life throws obstructions at everyone, and how she talks about viewing the obstructions society (men and women) place about her as an individual rather than as a member of a group (though one can still observe that men and women and other demographics are likely to face specific obstructions).

I think my favorite part is where she describes masculine and feminine energy as opposed to gender identity or biology, and more importantly, that one can have masculine energies in some ways and feminine in others (I learned that as I got older as well). There was one part I disagreed about having people with very similar thought processes around, though I am close to thinking women, and yet I'm especially close to a feeler woman...and she describes that as well, about how feminine energy finds safety in masculine energy while masculine energy can find soothing (or whatever). Though the feeler I'm close to is still an oddball and doesn't have traditional female interests.

posted April 07, 2018 11:39 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by PixieJane:
I was finding that "psychology junkie" site interesting and even relating to it which I often don't on sites like that, but whoa those ads. I think I got half way through before one came up that was flashing red and white and it literally caused a painful sensation in my eyes (it hurt enough that I don't even know what it was advertising as I couldn't look at it). I gave it several seconds to stop and it wouldn't, and it was one of those that would stay on the screen no matter where you scrolled to. I had to give it up. What a disappointment.

x

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Sorry about that. I’ve only ever browsed these sites on my iPhone. I’ve never encountered that problem. I hope it doesn’t cause too much trouble.

quote:

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I'm glad they don't portray it as "wrong" as many others would do, people wanting to diagnose it as a disorder for being atypical for whatever reason

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Yes! That is perhaps personality hacker’s best quality. They promote the uniqueness and value of EVERY personality type and cognitive function. Instead of glorifying X personality type over Y, they look at things comprehensively relating the natural talents of each type to the spheres of life where those skills matter most.

I think one of their most useful contributions is the renaming of the cognitive functions. Too often, people think of “feelers” as weak or illogical, but that isn’t what being a feeler is about at all.

Antonia Dodge is an ENTP (the woman in the podcast and the co-creator of Personality Hacker). She uses a cognitive function called Introverted thinking (just like SLQ). They’ve renamed this function “accuracy” because it’s more descriptive of how the function operates. Its very Virgo in nature. The nick names are definitely a product of Antonia’s cognitive stacking. Here’s a list of them all:

Introverted Intuition: “Perceptions”
Extraverted Intuition: “Explorations”
Introverted Thinking: “Accuracy”
Extraverted Thinking: “Effectiveness”
Introverted Sensation: “Memory”
Extraverted Sensation: “Sensation”
Introverted Feeling: “Authenticity”
Extraverted Feeling: “Harmony”

quote:

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I can also relate to what the woman says toward the end that life throws obstructions at everyone, and how she talks about viewing the obstructions society (men and women) place about her as an individual rather than as a member of a group (though one can still observe that men and women and other demographics are likely to face specific obstructions).

I think my favorite part is where she describes masculine and feminine energy as opposed to gender identity or biology, and more importantly, that one can have masculine energies in some ways and feminine in others

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I’m glad you appreciated that! I enjoy her insights.

Refining our definitions and separating out these differences is another manisfestaion of her “accuracy” function. Of course, she also uses “explorations”, which sees patterns in the environment and like to explore different ideas and possibilities. It’s has a Leo/sag energy to it.

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For now, let me just say thanks for sharing that podcast!

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You’re welcome! Here’s my favorite one (if you’re interested):
http://leontsao.com/2017/02/03/428/

Look for his write up on the 6th function.

Most personality theories, including MBTI, just focus on the four cognitive functions we value, but we use ALL the functions. Leon’s descriptions are based on the socionics system.
http://wikisocion.net/en/index.php?title=Wikisocion_home

Introverts are typed differently in this system. Last letter changes from p to j, or j to p.

posted April 08, 2018 12:18 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by ReachingForTheStars:
No planets or points in Leo, but my sun is accidentally exalted by house placement (conjunct my ASC in Gemini), tight trine to Saturn, and wide trines to mars and Pluto.

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posted April 08, 2018 01:26 AM            

There isn’t much masculine about it. Until, one becomes an adult and you’re expected to be more practical or formal in thought. Then, it becomes the Lion! I wouldn’t try to suppress it. Lol

You’re right, capricorncheriscty. It is a strong energy. One not meant to be “contained”. It’s freeform. Creative. The force of it is masculine. I kinda think of it as sunrise, sunset. One is radiant and bright. The other is calm and still.

posted April 08, 2018 08:42 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by hypatia238:
I will be your friend.

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