posted October 11, 2015 10:30 AM            

This confuses me a lot. They're not players and genuinely love the person and act fully invested as one does when they're labeled 'girlfriend' or 'boyfriend.'

So what is it that makes this happen? What placement?

I thought maybe 12H venus... fear of the pressure or inability to FULLY trust and expecting to be hurt once they give their heart maybe?

IDK. ANyone out there sympathize with this mindset and have placements that could explain?

posted October 11, 2015 01:31 PM            

If you believe they're devoted to their SOs then why do you mention committment phobia? You see, you make the common mistake of equaling marriage with committment. For some people it doesn't work that way. Example: me. I don't want anything casual or fleeting. In fact, if I ended up in a romantic relationship, I'd be happy if it turned out to be a life-long ride. At the same time, I have no intention of getting married. This act doesn't have any sentimental value to me, the practical benefits don't convince me, I don't want a wedding and any of that crap (I know, the party isn't obligatory). Marriage is an institution that was crafted for geo-political purposes. For common folks it was a matter of money/material goods or/and survival, add to this social pressure and religious indoctrination. Btw, how many goats do you think you are worth? This whole love=marriage motion if fairly fresh (not saying there were no loving married couples in old times). I see it for what it is, a contract inviting the government into the union. I don't need nor want this in my love life. I don't need the attention it brings or approval. I don't delude myself into thinking that marrying is a guarantee of anything. Doing it wouldn't make me more loved or safe. Actually, it would make me feel less safe. I wouldn't want my man to even entertain the thought that he can take me for granted and I'd like to be as sure as possible that he stays with me because he loves me and is happy with me. Not because he's legally chained to me and doesn't want to deal with divorce for whatever reason. I want a deep, pure connection at all times. Marriage would be polluting what we have to me.

You can love someone, be committed to them in your heart and not want to get married. You can be married to someone and love them and be committed to them only on paper. I don't need anyone to swear in front of a crowd that they will be with me forever. Not even in the privacy of our home. I need him to continue to love me, express it in his everyday actions and to simply make that "together forever" happen, in co-operation with me.

I can post my natal if you like.

posted October 11, 2015 01:38 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Aunt Anomalia:
If you believe they're devoted to their SOs then why do you mention committment phobia? You see, you make the common mistake of equaling marriage with committment.

---

posted October 11, 2015 01:44 PM            

https://soundcloud.com/navaehband/katy-perry-et-deftones-style
(what attitude can you expect from someone whose one of their favorite love songs is the one above? )

I have to admit that being against calling the SO a gf/bf when it's clear that $hit got serious is not something I can relate to and it would probably worry me if I ended up with someone like that. I'm not someone who gets off to titles but would their tounges fall off or what?

posted October 11, 2015 02:08 PM            

Lemme tell you about 'the thing'. I come from a lengthy line of women with 'the thing'. Some of us, God knows, were likely burnt for it by those who feared it. Hell, I think we fear it, too. Fortunately, my mother was the first to become a psychologist, whilst still utilising 'the thing', but in a quieter manner. For me, 'the thing' presents itself as a quiet little 'voice' (not a real voice) that says, 'hmmmm ... there's ... something up here.' If it's with me, I listen. (Or a loved one.) If it's a stranger, I rarely ever say anything. But, if it's a member of the board, I might. Lately, I've been doing so -- for good or ill. And it's hardly all doom and gloom. Sometimes it's 'hey, you guys are totally soulmates! Rock on!' Other times, it's ... less rosy.

This ... is less rosy. And I've been feeling it ever since one of the posts I saw of yours. I've tried to avoid it, too; shove it aside, and go, 'nahhh.' But that's not working as more and more of your posts feel as if they're indicating a heavy investment in your relationship. (Correct me if I'm wrong. I could be totally wrong.) But it may be due to the fact that you asserted, on the 'marriage thread', for lack of better, that neither of you were more invested than the other -- and certainly not you.

And I thought ... she doth protest a bit much, yeah? And I thought ... I know what that's like. And so 'the thing' happened and said, 'Danger, Will Robinson.' And I thought ... oh, hell.

I don't make it a habit to crap in another's cornflakes. I really don't. I like cornflakes sans crap!

So, here's what 'the thing' has been saying in regards to your situation:

You're missing something. Take it for what it is, as that's about as clear as it gets sometimes, (without delving further). But whatever this is you're missing could lead you to over-invest before it's time, and end up very, very hurt.

My best advice? Don't count your chickens. And, don't invest until you have REALLY good reason to. Long-distance relationships are hard enough, and sometimes we hold onto them when it's actually time to let them go. There are few things more indicative of 'it's time to let go' than someone moving away -- whether it's you, or them.

You're probably going to meet someone. This person may make you happier -- and not have to 'really fight' for your relationship. Remember the line from Gabriel's 'In Your Eyes'? 'I get so tired working so hard for our survival,' does a great job, I've always thought, of capturing the essence of the exhaustion that comes from being the one always fighting for a relationship. In which case, we're supposed to let it go. And, hey, sometimes it comes back around! Sometimes, it doesn't.

I noticed you also asked if you should move back to the States. Why? Because you miss your family and friends? Or is it because you're afraid you'll lose your boyfriend?

Correct me if I'm wrong, but you're a classical singer -- in Europe? I'm guessing performing coloratura, or something of that ilk? If so, you're living a DREAM -- that so, so few ever get to live! I get to merely play at it by playing Christine Daae in a Phantom project here and there (where we're performing arias as part of the programme -- y'know, Gounod, namely) because Los Angeles really isn't a mecca for that. But Europe? Oh, honey!

I see so much worrying from you, when I really think you need to take all of the 'BS' that's been happening to you lately as a sign that you just need to let go and go with the flow. Toughest thing in the world for a Saturnine individual, but one of THE biggest lessons to learn.

In the end, if it does hold together, and you do get married and settle down together, wouldn't it be wonderful that it happened because he dedicated himself deeply to your love whilst you followed your dream -- and he his? Or, you 'found your way back' to one another, once the big races were run?

I honestly DO not see the obsession the human race -- especially Western cultures -- has with marriage, and raising a family. Right as we're about to hit our stride in terms of being productive, effective, successful individuals, we weigh ourselves down with the responsibility of a spouse and building a family -- many seeking to do so in their twenties. Why? I hope the trend continues to where most are marrying past 30. The twenties are for LIVING! Not settling down.

I suggest you enjoy living, and not worry about settling down. Rather, don't rely upon it. If you're currently using the thought of the destination as a crutch right now -- ditch it. That's only going to hold you back. And, if he is the 'one' for you, then that will be made abundantly clear -- without you worrying a whit about it. The right one does that -- with no assistance from us.

Okay. That's all the ranting and criticism you'll have from me. I just think you've got such a wonderful life unfolding before you, and I hate to see you wasting the joy you could be experiencing with worrying about your future -- or even worse -- what's in your past.

Breathe. Live. And be.

And Throat Coat. Lots and lots of Throat Coat, or some similar slippery elm tea. My sixth octave's gotten crushed under all this phlegm. That F6 from Magic Flute is so not happening. Best I can crack is an E6. Ugh.

You do for you. Rest. Self-care. Experience the totality of where you are right now in this moment. I can't imagine you won't derive tremendous joy from that.

posted October 11, 2015 02:12 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Aunt Anomalia:
*high 5*
You got your supernatural lover, now where is mine??? *weeps*

---

I waited a decade! I wasn't even sure he existed, so it's not like I went looking. And, thank God I'd had a legitimate reason to say, oh, heeeeey ... in the form of asking whether he was an actor, because if not, I don't want to think how much my secretly obsessive side would've kicked in. Ohhhh, no thanks. It takes a LOT to engage that mode, but once it's active -- oh, boy.

posted October 11, 2015 02:31 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Aunt Anomalia:
I will write myself a boyfriend too Then let's see if he materializes.

---

Hey! It's worth of a shot, right? Go for it! Your results may vary, of course. I mean, let's not forget The Monkey's Paw. There's always the concern something might be taken slightly out of context.

posted October 11, 2015 02:40 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Aunt Anomalia:
I will write myself a boyfriend too Then let's see if he materializes.

---

I drew a sketch of mine when I was about 12 or so. And I donīt even DO sketches, and just been doing this one of a guy. lol

posted October 11, 2015 03:34 PM            

Also, putting the label where? Their underwear?

Just kidding

Well, if they are in an official relationship, everyone in their entourage knows about it anyway. If the relationship is hidden, the reason is to keep it that way.

Sorry, I'm not sure how helpful I was, more like spreading sarcasm Anyway, I think all signs can do that, it all depends on the reason why this is happening.

------------------
I seem to have loved you in numberless forms...

AstroMandala

posted October 11, 2015 04:11 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Ceridwen:
Oh great, me retelling that story about the guy I was drawing, and the radio starts playing "Written in the stars".

---

Man, not that one. Oh, have I ever been haunted by THAT one, too.

I honestly think the only reason why he's 'here' is because of the things we need to do together. Being in a relationship hasn't exactly been convenient, after all, but we've both had the desire for it, even if we're both naturally loners, and require a firm understanding of that.

Which, oddly, ties back into the original discussion. Hey! How about that?

I can't say if we played the 'let's not put a label to it' game because it's a natural inclination on his behalf (or mine, actually) or if it's more to do with the unusual circumstances in which we find ourselves.

Wow -- Ceri -- my mom just typed the phrase 'written in the stars' in her text message to me ... Spoooooooky .... But more in line with saying it's 'written in the stars' that I'm going to have a great 35th birthday, in light of all the less-than-great circumstances. So -- different usage. But, kinda wild!

posted October 11, 2015 04:36 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by LeeLoo2014:
'Cause it's trendy What age?

Also, putting the label where? Their underwear?

Just kidding

Well, if they are in an official relationship, everyone in their entourage knows about it anyway. If the relationship is hidden, the reason is to keep it that way.

Sorry, I'm not sure how helpful I was, more like spreading sarcasm Anyway, I think all signs can do that, it all depends on the reason why this is happening.

---

Why, Lee? So that if they're not where they should be, the one with whom they're doing less-than-honourable things can see the tag which reads, 'Property of [someone that isn't you]. If found, please return to this address.'?

And, yeah, it's almost a case of those who know know, and those who don't, don't for a reason. These days, it's not even public perception. Sure, I might take the heat for being 'the married woman', and he could theoretically be thought of as dishonourable, being 'the other man', but it's not even about that so much anymore. I'm not sure anybody cares. And the second my husband says, 'yeah, it's cool; I have a girlfriend, too. That's just how we roll,' -- scandal aborted.

Instead, it's to protect certain loved ones who may be less understanding or open-minded. Though I'm hoping that sheer passage of time and the greater happiness that comes from our kooky family unit's arrangement might win over some naysayers. But who can say?

The whole thing is karmic anyhow, and it's tough to know exactly when those debts are 'settled', and now you can just breathe and enjoy life -- or some are still outstanding.

It was a pretty bold move on behalf of my boyfriend to tell one of the producers he works with that he's 'attached', when the subject came up in regards to ways he could meet someone. After the guy had to get over his complete shock and amazement, he expressed his happiness, and said that he'd like to meet me.

That's actually how our relationship became official. My boyfriend was recounting this little anecdote, for which the upshot was, 'I hope you don't mind that I introduced you as my girlfriend.'

Nooooooo ... but I was pretty shocked! We'd never even discussed being more 'out' about our relationship. But, hey, those Aries MOONs can really surprise you sometimes. Not in a bad way, either. 'Impulse' isn't his modus operandi. But every now and again ... whatever he's been secretly chewing on will come to the surface, and it can be a little jarring.

That's why, for Valentine's Day, he updated his profile on a website to which we both belong -- away from the likely-less-accepting eyes, of course.

So that was ... October 2013 to February 2015 ... so ... a year and a half? Thereabouts? I wasn't in any hurry. We'd steadily gone from discussing more what we are to each other over time; going from 'no labels', to, admitting we were de facto exclusive (outside of my husband, of course) that summer, confirming that again that winter (in case something had changed), acknowledging that we're in love with each other, in that January / February period, and, finally becoming 'official' early February.

Which, according to my husband was 'pretty much obvious to everybody but us.' D'oh!

posted October 11, 2015 05:54 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Aunt Anomalia:
Hehe, this is a thread for me.

If you believe they're devoted to their SOs then why do you mention committment phobia? You see, you make the common mistake of equaling marriage with committment. For some people it doesn't work that way. Example: me. I don't want anything casual or fleeting. In fact, if I ended up in a romantic relationship, I'd be happy if it turned out to be a life-long ride. At the same time, I have no intention of getting married. This act doesn't have any sentimental value to me, the practical benefits don't convince me, I don't want a wedding and any of that crap (I know, the party isn't obligatory). Marriage is an institution that was crafted for geo-political purposes. For common folks it was a matter of money/material goods or/and survival, add to this social pressure and religious indoctrination. Btw, how many goats do you think you are worth? This whole love=marriage motion if fairly fresh (not saying there were no loving married couples in old times). I see it for what it is, a contract inviting the government into the union. I don't need nor want this in my love life. I don't need the attention it brings or approval. I don't delude myself into thinking that marrying is a guarantee of anything. Doing it wouldn't make me more loved or safe. Actually, it would make me feel less safe. I wouldn't want my man to even entertain the thought that he can take me for granted and I'd like to be as sure as possible that he stays with me because he loves me and is happy with me. Not because he's legally chained to me and doesn't want to deal with divorce for whatever reason. I want a deep, pure connection at all times. Marriage would be polluting what we have to me.

You can love someone, be committed to them in your heart and not want to get married. You can be married to someone and love them and be committed to them only on paper. I don't need anyone to swear in front of a crowd that they will be with me forever. Not even in the privacy of our home. I need him to continue to love me, express it in his everyday actions and to simply make that "together forever" happen, in co-operation with me.

I can post my natal if you like.

---

Well, I didn't say anything about marriage.I also didn't make the assumption of commitment phobia, but am using their own words.

What I am trying to single out has nothing to do with whether or not someone is committed at heart -- has more to do with the type of person who would prefer to be secretive about the relationship, call it "NOthing" when it's clearly something, and leave it labelless and definition free, rather than the type of person who really likes to have the definitions drawn and thrives in a FULLY established relationship.

posted October 11, 2015 06:01 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Aubyanne:
Also, Cappi, I'm just gonna say it. I know, I probably shouldn't; Lord knows, I ought to've learnt to keep out of others' business. Not always. Not when 'the thing' happens.

Lemme tell you about 'the thing'. I come from a lengthy line of women with 'the thing'. Some of us, God knows, were likely burnt for it by those who feared it. Hell, I think we fear it, too. Fortunately, my mother was the first to become a psychologist, whilst still utilising 'the thing', but in a quieter manner. For me, 'the thing' presents itself as a quiet little 'voice' (not a real voice) that says, 'hmmmm ... there's ... something up here.' If it's with me, I listen. (Or a loved one.) If it's a stranger, I rarely ever say anything. But, if it's a member of the board, I might. Lately, I've been doing so -- for good or ill. And it's hardly all doom and gloom. Sometimes it's 'hey, you guys are totally soulmates! Rock on!' Other times, it's ... less rosy.

This ... is less rosy. And I've been feeling it ever since one of the posts I saw of yours. I've tried to avoid it, too; shove it aside, and go, 'nahhh.' But that's not working as more and more of your posts feel as if they're indicating a heavy investment in your relationship. (Correct me if I'm wrong. I could be totally wrong.) But it may be due to the fact that you asserted, on the 'marriage thread', for lack of better, that neither of you were more invested than the other -- and certainly not you.

And I thought ... she doth protest a bit much, yeah? And I thought ... I know what that's like. And so 'the thing' happened and said, 'Danger, Will Robinson.' And I thought ... oh, hell.

I don't make it a habit to crap in another's cornflakes. I really don't. I like cornflakes sans crap!

So, here's what 'the thing' has been saying in regards to your situation:

[b]You're missing something. Take it for what it is, as that's about as clear as it gets sometimes, (without delving further). But whatever this is you're missing could lead you to over-invest before it's time, and end up very, very hurt.

My best advice? Don't count your chickens. And, don't invest until you have REALLY good reason to. Long-distance relationships are hard enough, and sometimes we hold onto them when it's actually time to let them go. There are few things more indicative of 'it's time to let go' than someone moving away -- whether it's you, or them.

You're probably going to meet someone. This person may make you happier -- and not have to 'really fight' for your relationship. Remember the line from Gabriel's 'In Your Eyes'? 'I get so tired working so hard for our survival,' does a great job, I've always thought, of capturing the essence of the exhaustion that comes from being the one always fighting for a relationship. In which case, we're supposed to let it go. And, hey, sometimes it comes back around! Sometimes, it doesn't.

I noticed you also asked if you should move back to the States. Why? Because you miss your family and friends? Or is it because you're afraid you'll lose your boyfriend?

Correct me if I'm wrong, but you're a classical singer -- in Europe? I'm guessing performing coloratura, or something of that ilk? If so, you're living a DREAM -- that so, so few ever get to live! I get to merely play at it by playing Christine Daae in a Phantom project here and there (where we're performing arias as part of the programme -- y'know, Gounod, namely) because Los Angeles really isn't a mecca for that. But Europe? Oh, honey!

I see so much worrying from you, when I really think you need to take all of the 'BS' that's been happening to you lately as a sign that you just need to let go and go with the flow. Toughest thing in the world for a Saturnine individual, but one of THE biggest lessons to learn.

In the end, if it does hold together, and you do get married and settle down together, wouldn't it be wonderful that it happened because he dedicated himself deeply to your love whilst you followed your dream -- and he his? Or, you 'found your way back' to one another, once the big races were run?

I honestly DO not see the obsession the human race -- especially Western cultures -- has with marriage, and raising a family. Right as we're about to hit our stride in terms of being productive, effective, successful individuals, we weigh ourselves down with the responsibility of a spouse and building a family -- many seeking to do so in their twenties. Why? I hope the trend continues to where most are marrying past 30. The twenties are for LIVING! Not settling down.

I suggest you enjoy living, and not worry about settling down. Rather, don't rely upon it. If you're currently using the thought of the destination as a crutch right now -- ditch it. That's only going to hold you back. And, if he is the 'one' for you, then that will be made abundantly clear -- without you worrying a whit about it. The right one does that -- with no assistance from us.

Okay. That's all the ranting and criticism you'll have from me. I just think you've got such a wonderful life unfolding before you, and I hate to see you wasting the joy you could be experiencing with worrying about your future -- or even worse -- what's in your past.

Breathe. Live. And be.

And Throat Coat. Lots and lots of Throat Coat, or some similar slippery elm tea. My sixth octave's gotten crushed under all this phlegm. That F6 from Magic Flute is so not happening. Best I can crack is an E6. Ugh.

You do for you. Rest. Self-care. Experience the totality of where you are right now in this moment. I can't imagine you won't derive tremendous joy from that.

[/B]

---

Yeah, I really don't need this to be personal.

This thread actually has nothing to do with me - it was a convo I was having about friends.

Please do not make assumptions about where I stand in my relationships because I'm kinda delving into this world of astrology pulling from a LOT of sources. Seriously, Telling me I am 'missing something' is insanely hurtful,not helpful, and has absolutely nothing to do with anything I have posted in any of these threads. Please stop dooming what is making me happy right now, especially on threads that don't have anything to do with me. You don't know me. You may think you know a lot, and you seem to think so in your responses, but I have been very happy and enjoying this new hobby: astrology, something I've never looked into as much in years prior and was enjoying the discussion until now.

The conversations about charts, commitment, relationships, etc. have been going on with my friends, my sister, and my family over the weeks. I'm very new to astrology so I've posted about the varied topics.

Some definitely have had to do with my own, which I'm confident in (but have posted separately about issues I'm curious about showing up in my own synastry, composite, etc.) Some of them have been deep curiosities, like the one about transits to composite charts or how to compare them. Like I stated when you accused me before... I'm trying to stay very in the present in my own relationship without getting ahead of myself there. But I have been trying to learn about what transits have impacted people how, and then am using my own natal and composite/ synastry to draw my own conclusions in my own life as well.

So, please let's keep thread topics to just what they are - this one wasn't for me . also, where the heck did I say I wanna get married!?!?!? This thread was about people who date without putting a label on it.

posted October 11, 2015 06:19 PM            

Does any of you think that Uranus in the 7th can make a commitment phobe?
I have a personal interest in knowing about this lol

posted October 11, 2015 06:22 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Aubyanne:
Also, Cappi, I'm just gonna say it. I know, I probably shouldn't; Lord knows, I ought to've learnt to keep out of others' business. Not always. Not when 'the thing' happens.

Lemme tell you about 'the thing'. I come from a lengthy line of women with 'the thing'. Some of us, God knows, were likely burnt for it by those who feared it. Hell, I think we fear it, too. Fortunately, my mother was the first to become a psychologist, whilst still utilising 'the thing', but in a quieter manner. For me, 'the thing' presents itself as a quiet little 'voice' (not a real voice) that says, 'hmmmm ... there's ... something up here.' If it's with me, I listen. (Or a loved one.) If it's a stranger, I rarely ever say anything. But, if it's a member of the board, I might. Lately, I've been doing so -- for good or ill. And it's hardly all doom and gloom. Sometimes it's 'hey, you guys are totally soulmates! Rock on!' Other times, it's ... less rosy.

This ... is less rosy. And I've been feeling it ever since one of the posts I saw of yours. I've tried to avoid it, too; shove it aside, and go, 'nahhh.' But that's not working as more and more of your posts feel as if they're indicating a heavy investment in your relationship. (Correct me if I'm wrong. I could be totally wrong.) But it may be due to the fact that you asserted, on the 'marriage thread', for lack of better, that neither of you were more invested than the other -- and certainly not you.

And I thought ... she doth protest a bit much, yeah? And I thought ... I know what that's like. And so 'the thing' happened and said, 'Danger, Will Robinson.' And I thought ... oh, hell.

I don't make it a habit to crap in another's cornflakes. I really don't. I like cornflakes sans crap!

So, here's what 'the thing' has been saying in regards to your situation:

[b]You're missing something. Take it for what it is, as that's about as clear as it gets sometimes, (without delving further). But whatever this is you're missing could lead you to over-invest before it's time, and end up very, very hurt.

My best advice? Don't count your chickens. And, don't invest until you have REALLY good reason to. Long-distance relationships are hard enough, and sometimes we hold onto them when it's actually time to let them go. There are few things more indicative of 'it's time to let go' than someone moving away -- whether it's you, or them.

You're probably going to meet someone. This person may make you happier -- and not have to 'really fight' for your relationship. Remember the line from Gabriel's 'In Your Eyes'? 'I get so tired working so hard for our survival,' does a great job, I've always thought, of capturing the essence of the exhaustion that comes from being the one always fighting for a relationship. In which case, we're supposed to let it go. And, hey, sometimes it comes back around! Sometimes, it doesn't.

I noticed you also asked if you should move back to the States. Why? Because you miss your family and friends? Or is it because you're afraid you'll lose your boyfriend?

Correct me if I'm wrong, but you're a classical singer -- in Europe? I'm guessing performing coloratura, or something of that ilk? If so, you're living a DREAM -- that so, so few ever get to live! I get to merely play at it by playing Christine Daae in a Phantom project here and there (where we're performing arias as part of the programme -- y'know, Gounod, namely) because Los Angeles really isn't a mecca for that. But Europe? Oh, honey!

I see so much worrying from you, when I really think you need to take all of the 'BS' that's been happening to you lately as a sign that you just need to let go and go with the flow. Toughest thing in the world for a Saturnine individual, but one of THE biggest lessons to learn.

In the end, if it does hold together, and you do get married and settle down together, wouldn't it be wonderful that it happened because he dedicated himself deeply to your love whilst you followed your dream -- and he his? Or, you 'found your way back' to one another, once the big races were run?

I honestly DO not see the obsession the human race -- especially Western cultures -- has with marriage, and raising a family. Right as we're about to hit our stride in terms of being productive, effective, successful individuals, we weigh ourselves down with the responsibility of a spouse and building a family -- many seeking to do so in their twenties. Why? I hope the trend continues to where most are marrying past 30. The twenties are for LIVING! Not settling down.

I suggest you enjoy living, and not worry about settling down. Rather, don't rely upon it. If you're currently using the thought of the destination as a crutch right now -- ditch it. That's only going to hold you back. And, if he is the 'one' for you, then that will be made abundantly clear -- without you worrying a whit about it. The right one does that -- with no assistance from us.

Okay. That's all the ranting and criticism you'll have from me. I just think you've got such a wonderful life unfolding before you, and I hate to see you wasting the joy you could be experiencing with worrying about your future -- or even worse -- what's in your past.

Breathe. Live. And be.

And Throat Coat. Lots and lots of Throat Coat, or some similar slippery elm tea. My sixth octave's gotten crushed under all this phlegm. That F6 from Magic Flute is so not happening. Best I can crack is an E6. Ugh.

You do for you. Rest. Self-care. Experience the totality of where you are right now in this moment. I can't imagine you won't derive tremendous joy from that.

[/B]

---

To clarify, @Auby, I do always appreciate your heartfelt advice and attention to what I'm posting.

The thing is, I've been busy enough that I haven't realized how my threads may come across or my responses. THe marriage thread was really not one I posted about my relationship. I don't really know how to answer your questions about the future of my relationship when I haven't gotten there yet - that;s not me 'protesting to much' it's just, well, me protesting because you asked and I know myself well enough to know. Haha. Kinda hard for me to explain myself thoroughly. If I'd said one thing, it would have seemed one way. Damned if I do, damned if I don't.

I am over 30. I'm in a new city where I am attempting to establish a lot of things. The horary post was made during a definite freak out about many things - but actually, not my current SO.

He has been the single most supportive person I know during this time, and for many months. I NEVER feel like it's work, rather, the amount of love I've felt in this relationship has caused me to look to higher things because it amazed me.

I do not expect to know what the future holds. You'll never find me looking at our future transits to our composite, haha. I've done that all before in other relationships, ones not nearly as fun, easy, hard, strong, whatever you wanna classify this current situation as.

I appreciate your advice, seriously. It's frustrating at times when you respond saying that your placements led to a break up, so I should prepare for that. I've already broken up with him for my own reasons before, and yes, am well aware we could break up again. I just don't believe we are meant to and have been very excited by the recently powerful time in my life on all plains.

And yes, a little bit terrified to stay in a city that could be a dead end for my career.

But I'm not some little kid who hasn't done all this before. I've done long distance relationships that worked, some that didn't work, and now I'm going through it again - it's the nature of my career too. I have no effing clue if I believe I should get married ever as stated before.

So I just ask that if I'm asking different topics, they can be looked at as just separate threads where I'm honestly trying to learn how to be as wise in the astrology stuff as everyone else is - because that is something I am a definite newbie at.

posted October 11, 2015 06:28 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Soltze:
Mercury is direct but still in the shadow zone. Trust me I know. It affects me so bad.

Does any of you think that Uranus in the 7th can make a commitment phobe?
I have a personal interest in knowing about this lol

In my head it would make sense that someone with heavy Aquarius or 11th house would be so broad minded in their vision of relationships that they wouldn't want to label it...

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THANK YOU SO MUCH for your response, haha!!! I actually almost posted earlier I was curious if Uranus could come into play - but with Uranus, I associate that more with someone who breaks things OFF very quickly, rather than someone who is sort of just... ambiguous about their stance in a relationship (but still there day to day).

My chart ruler is Uranus, btw, and I have to suppress a tendency to um... run for the hills from time to time! I get fight or flight very easily.

posted October 11, 2015 06:30 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Cappi112:
What I am trying to single out has nothing to do with whether or not someone is committed at heart -- has more to do with the type of person who would prefer to be secretive about the relationship, call it "NOthing" when it's clearly something, and leave it labelless and definition free, rather than the type of person who really likes to have the definitions drawn and thrives in a FULLY established relationship.

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I'm not sure that can be rightly identified in a natal, as it only shows potential. What you're describing tends to follow as a result of incurred pain, disappointments, and negative associations connected to the schema of 'relationships'. A person may have thought they were in a happy, committed relationship -- for example -- only to find that their partner considered it an uncommitted fling, or more of a friends-with-benefits type of situation. There would then be a natural reticence going forward, where they'd either avoid the circumstance altogether ('no labels') or, go the opposite extreme -- demand clarity of commitment at the outset, so as to ensure there's no wiggle room, confusion, or complications down the line.

If approaching it that way, we could then ask a different question which might prove more beneficial: are there natal features which would incline one to go one route as opposed to the other? Sure!

Those with heavy Water and Earth placements would likely seek a commitment relatively upfront, while, the Air and Fire types could play it fast and loose more easily. Granted, these are generalisations; bear that in mind.

posted October 11, 2015 06:44 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Cappi112:

THANK YOU SO MUCH for your response, haha!!! I actually almost posted earlier I was curious if Uranus could come into play - but with Uranus, I associate that more with someone who breaks things OFF very quickly, rather than someone who is sort of just... ambiguous about their stance in a relationship (but still there day to day).

My chart ruler is Uranus, btw, and I have to suppress a tendency to um... run for the hills from time to time! I get fight or flight very easily.

Maybe Neptune in the 7th, with Venus in the 12th?? Or since it's more about verbalizing someone as "GIRLFRIEND" - mercury heavily aspected with neptune and venus or 12H?

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There is no cookie cutter answer for this, that's why I said it varies from person to person, with age a lot, and other factors. You either want to know about a specific person in which case it's best to ask about him, or the various (astrological) reasons someone would do that, which is a different matter. There is no universal recipe. The reasons can be a thousand.

For example, I am commitment-phobe because I have Saturn conj DSC (2) which means I don't commit unless I am sure the person is the one, the future. I display all kinds of evasive behaviors for the rest.

Or someone avoids commitment because they are a "player" in which case maybe their astrology reflects that. Or they are hiding something, they have another relationship (s).

Or it could be an Uranian reason, Uranians are a bit similar with Saturn, they commit only at last moment and when very sure of the person; unless they want to play the field and leave options open. Which is a trait you will find with many astro placements.

There is no house placement establishing someone is committed or not, as a rule.

Uranus in the 7th can also mean, apart from what was said, marrying a foreigner, an Uranian type, experiencing divorce, having long-distance relationships, relocating for marriage, marrying a scientist. Or all of them at once lol

Neptune/Pisces/12th house reasons for non-commital behavior: they have a very high ideal in romance and while they keep this ideal a secret and may pursue some form of the relationship, they know all the time you are not their future, they know it's temporary. All three types do that: Saturn, Uranus, Neptune.

In fact, I think this is the main reason for non-committal behavior in most cases : it's personal, rather than generalized (which means for some reasons they already know or believe that person is not their future, yet they indulge in some form of relationship with them; if only we were honest with each other
------------------
I seem to have loved you in numberless forms...

AstroMandala

posted October 11, 2015 06:55 PM            

Generally, there are non-commital, bachelor types, and the astrology can vary a lot, and the profile would come from a complex combination of factors.

But most times when people complain of this, tbh, it's because we don't trigger commitment in them. This could come from:

- age factors
- the synastry; we don't touch the marital profile of the person. It doesn't mean they are non-committal in general. They will be, with the right person for them.

Personally, I believe if someone loves me they are showing me they are proud to be with me in any way they can. I don't believe in this theory with the fear of rejection thing, especially with men, for men are very territorial. So if he doesn't tell me in private "yo, girlfriend!" or avoids for people to know we are together, I'll probably believe he has a present or future (in his mind) that doesn't include me. When men really chose a girl as their partner, it's in their instinct to display it in public somehow. (to "claim" her). It may sound retro, but it still works Only guys keeping their options open or hiding something avoid to "claim" you in public. As for what happens in private, he should feel the need to ask you from time to time: are you my girl? be my girl!
------------------
I seem to have loved you in numberless forms...

AstroMandala

posted October 11, 2015 09:12 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Cappi112:
To clarify, @Auby, I do always appreciate your heartfelt advice and attention to what I'm posting.

The thing is, I've been busy enough that I haven't realized how my threads may come across or my responses. THe marriage thread was really not one I posted about my relationship. I don't really know how to answer your questions about the future of my relationship when I haven't gotten there yet - that;s not me 'protesting to much' it's just, well, me protesting because you asked and I know myself well enough to know. Haha. Kinda hard for me to explain myself thoroughly. If I'd said one thing, it would have seemed one way. Damned if I do, damned if I don't.

I am over 30. I'm in a new city where I am attempting to establish a lot of things. The horary post was made during a definite freak out about many things - but actually, not my current SO.

He has been the single most supportive person I know during this time, and for many months. I NEVER feel like it's work, rather, the amount of love I've felt in this relationship has caused me to look to higher things because it amazed me.

I do not expect to know what the future holds. You'll never find me looking at our future transits to our composite, haha. I've done that all before in other relationships, ones not nearly as fun, easy, hard, strong, whatever you wanna classify this current situation as.

I appreciate your advice, seriously. It's frustrating at times when you respond saying that your placements led to a break up, so I should prepare for that. I've already broken up with him for my own reasons before, and yes, am well aware we could break up again. I just don't believe we are meant to and have been very excited by the recently powerful time in my life on all plains.

And yes, a little bit terrified to stay in a city that could be a dead end for my career.

But I'm not some little kid who hasn't done all this before. I've done long distance relationships that worked, some that didn't work, and now I'm going through it again - it's the nature of my career too. I have no effing clue if I believe I should get married ever as stated before.

So I just ask that if I'm asking different topics, they can be looked at as just separate threads where I'm honestly trying to learn how to be as wise in the astrology stuff as everyone else is - because that is something I am a definite newbie at.

Peace <3.

---

Sounds like you're doing A-OK, then. (Save for the upper respiratory stuff. Hate that.)

Definitely take it all as it comes. We're all going to have certain transits that lead to -- occasionally -- similar things. But never as a general rule. I try to approach things as, whatever is going to come down, is what I most need at the moment.