posted February 15, 2019 01:20 PM            

Long time no chat. I wanted to give you an update and ask for an update from you.

posted February 15, 2019 08:11 PM            

I just checked in.

Not a lot from me.. I've got personal and family issues to manage at the moment.

Hypothetical and I have parted ways though, again. Boo.

Also, I had Dreamer's birthdate wrong. But our synastry and composite are none the better.

posted February 16, 2019 07:52 AM            

Still dating others?

Mine - well, you were right! He was a nice guy but in the end he is set in his ways and I felt like a trophy. He loved what I do and who I am, but only in theory. He had no intention of embracing anything in his life and was so stilted and rigid in his ways, but he was happy. I felt like a possession, not a person. I ended it. But you called it bcs his saturn/ moon /chiron square mars created a real inability to soften or open up to others. Creates a lack of intimacy within the relationship and he's not even aware.

posted February 16, 2019 09:24 PM            

So many times I put long effort into the delineating of the charts, and then despite remaining hopeful, the challenged aspects still bite me. There are pros and cons to reviewing the charts early in a relationship that I still deliberate over.

I was happy with phone contact with Hypothetical because I have some family issues I am managing that are complex. We had another fight though: he sent me a picture, I didn't get it, and he accused my then of lying. I got a huge rant about how I was manipulative. A shame because I am anything but. I tried to recover our situation but I think that after these weird rants he has there is no turning back for him. He is not emotionally equipped to manage the post-shame, or embarrassment he may experience after. Or maybe he's just black and white? Who knows.

All of this is signatured in his Virgo Moon (the critical defense from the frightened Moon), square Neptune (in 12H - delusional, and the fear that someone is manipulating or deceiving, and those squares to his Sun/Mercury from Pluto is problematic). It's interesting to see it play out from an astrological perspective. And I have learned more about the isolated (no other aspects to his Moon) challenged Moon-Neptune.

I am not without "challenges" myself of course. That could be confusing for this person because I am resisting a real life relationship due to the family issues I am unraveling. I made the brave move of telling him what I was dealing with but he rejected. Many people cannot hear such things and don't want people with issues.

I am however, exclusively available for a mature relationship which I assess has the potential of accepting what things I am dealing with. In my estimation, the odds are low of this though, and why the phone contact was ok

So, yes, I am dating still.. though I have been busy with my life (trying to move house). I have an Aquarius man upcoming. And when I settle in a new home I will initiate dating again with greater earnest, lol, :roll eyes:, etc.

It's soo not easy

posted February 17, 2019 09:44 AM            

I still go over the chart with my now former guy to think about it and really analyze but my free time has gotten very sparse. It was disappointing also. I did not feel the Venus Pluto at all. All I felt was the Sun square Pluto. Good example of how we see the charts and want to make something exist where it does not. Charts can look great and never really play out.

Now, ironically, I got the date wrong for my new guy. I rechecked his chart with the correct info and I am not sure what to think. We have the same stupid Sun square Pluto (I am drawing these people to me a lot right now- I think bcs I am about to go through transit Pluto hitting my Sun and Moon). Same Venus Pluto trine too. What gives????? Interesting pattern completion. My Sun takes his natal T square and makes it a grand cross. Trying to figure out the attraction and I am thinking it has to be Sun Pluto again.

But, I am getting his birth time. I believe we have Moon conjunct Moon. Overall synastry I wasn't too impressed by, but we appear to have Sun Venus Mercury conjunct in composite, and all opposite Moon. This is more compelling than I was giving it credit for.

Regardless, last night was a first date and we talked and laughed the whole time. Same sense of humor, same perspectives, and easy easy communication. Super comfortable, and I found myself being so much more straightforward and open than I usually am. Funny conversations too- as in no filter of thoughts! Like, did that just come out of my mouth? Is that Moon conjunct Moon? Trying to figure out what synastry aspect is doing this. We have positive Chiron Mercury aspects both ways. We weren't talking about deep stuff necessarily, but no filter of thoughts or opinions.

So that's that. I am hesitant to post much on him right now bcs I just want to let it play out without preconceived notions. I need to trust my intuition over readings, and readings get in the way of me listening to my gut. I am looking at the chart, but I am not deeply analyzing. I am more interested in some of the composite aspects, like "how does moon opposite venus/mercury/sun feel". but I am doing the digging on that myself.

posted February 17, 2019 06:48 PM            

But yes, I wrote what you say like this: doing the charts really does get in the way. Because you're separate from the event unfolding and moving on different rhythms. On the other hand, sometimes it's good to keep that distance and be aware. Where the balance is I'm not always sure.

Hypothetical was one of those people that I wanted to keep a distance from. I think he could've really drawn me in otherwise. I don't want to say narcissistic because it's such a buzz-term, but.. yeah.. they are out there. And I was interested (and concerned) about how my own vulnerability would be responded to. So, I observed all of that from a safe distance.

Just because someone has some clear vulnerabilities in their own chart, doesn't mean they are sensitive to others (empathetic). Many people take their crap out on others instead of coming to terms with their own business.

Did you look at the degrees? I have found that the closest degrees in the synastry will dominate the relationship, generally. Funny how you have it again.. I imagine that would be draining! Pluto always looking too deeply in and wanting to guide you, make you over, etc. Yep, conjunctions (your Moons), always look at how it's aspected in the natal. I'm sure you know this of course.

I also had Sun inconjunct Pluto with Hypo. My Sun is already challenged, and his chart gave my Sun some other good aspects. I was wondering to myself about my own vulnerability and how people (me) can perhaps become attached to relationships because that other person provides the good aspects they don't have to a planet in their own chart. If perhaps this is a key for some people to become co-dependent? It was just a theory I was running and testing. I like to try to "science" psychological theory with astrology.

On the other hand, my Venus (and widely Saturn) gave his Moon some good aspects too. But obviously either not enough, or.. who knows.. maybe hes just too vulnerable himself to go into anything. It's all just speculation of course, as we hadn't met. But, boy, it was interesting! I mean, he was complaining about how sexual everyone is - yet, I had never met someone as overtly rude and sexual as him. And he was complaining that everyone on that site was crazy - yet, I never met anyone as crazy as him. Really interesting and bizarre.

As I say, all speculation.. he could've been married for all I know and wanting to play with people for boredom. Or in jail .. or, whatever. It's a dating site.

I am learning to be more careful with myself and love. It's my journey right now. And I am learning all the tricks of the trade again at this new age.

posted February 25, 2019 05:11 AM            

Well, turns out I had his birth info wrong (the year!) and so the synastry is very different. I am trying to sort through his natal on my own, but I did post the composite and davison. I am going to put it here if you want to see it. I definitely feel the sun moon opposition. There is this fascination but I do feel how different we are. I said to one of my girlfriends that I worry because I am so strongly defined in who I am and he is more flexible, easy going. That right there is the Sun Moon opposition.

In synastry I find often that my Sun supports their Moon, but I have not met any Virgo or Taurus Suns that trine my Moon in Cap. I always end up being the more dominant role, the supporter. Often in relationships I am the leader, the initiator, even when I am not. (If that makes sense.) And you will appreciate this Sass- I am now trying to determine if that's how I am wired and need to accept it, or if that is a life lesson that I need to change- or actively invite change. I am not sure how comfortable I would be in a more passive role. I never am, not even in friendships. I can certainly back off and hand over the lead when necessary, be flexible and easy going. But by nature I am very defined and know myself well and identify as a leader. Food for thought.

Anyway, here are the charts. Please do NOT feel like you need to pull them apart with a fine tooth comb- all I am doing is slowly teasing them out and considering how they may play out. But I wanted to put them here for future potential discussion.

I do NOT have his TOB. But, regardless of when he was born, we have moon conjunct moon. It is just a matter of how conjunct. It swings from 18 Cap to 0 Aqua. My moon is 25 Cap.

Composite:

posted February 25, 2019 06:33 AM            

Yes, lets take our time.

I love, love, your thoughts SM.. I'll take time pondering those too.

Right now though, I just want to ask - where's the synastry for goodness sake

posted February 25, 2019 07:21 PM            

my chart:

synastry:

posted February 26, 2019 07:02 PM            

he has a T square of uranus opp chiron with moon at apex. Chiron is conjunct eros... does he lack passion? is he devoid of this because of fear of expressing it?

with moon in cap his mom was not as nutuing as perhaps he needed. She was there, but she wasn't as loving as he needed. She took a harsh approach to raising children. Then he has uranus opp chiron/eros- libra and aries... well chiron in aries is a wound of the self. His own identity. and with eros incvolved that's why I am thinking he lacks passion. Or rather is afraid of diving in whole heartedly to anything. He restrains his passion, because it is associated with fear. I feel like maybe he was taught to restrain his emotions? I don't know his story, I am completely reading the chart and speculating.

But Opposite uranus in libra... hmmmm, I am a little stuck here. Uranus is where you stand out, where you are different. Libra is balance, love, harmony, relating to others...so he has a different way of going about relationships. How is this connected to his wound of self and his emotional being?

With moon at apex he should be able to use emotions to balance the opposition... but I am getting the feeling it's not working for him. Capricorn is very serious and is not apt to break out in passion or emotional displays... especially since he has no supportive aspects.

I am a Cap moon, and our moons conjunct... I feel like I can read him well. I know the qualities of a Cap moon from my own experience for sure. But I have Mars trine my Moon so I have more emotional freedom and expression than he does.

posted February 26, 2019 08:05 PM            

I looked last night and was going to leave a comment. But it wasn't in depth, or adding anything, so I deleted it

This looks like an interesting situation: the composite looks "ok" for me. But the synastry is very "dynamic".

From a quick glance - is this going to be one of those "we both like each other but just cannot make it work" things?

Pluto square Moon

Sorry.. am I so negative?

I will have a good look at charts and your comment above soon (tonight?). And add more

Edit: And I cannot see the grid properly! From what I think I can see.. does it looks a little scary?

Edit: *cough* I um, yes, I have Chiron in Aries opposite Libra Uranus. And my Capricorn Venus is at the apex of that opposition

Your Mars, because it's trine, will free his Cap Moon up in a safe not too OTT way.

That Pluto though.. Looks like a fun ride

He also has the other t-square involving Venus AND Juno AND Neptune AND Jupiter.. Hmm.. is he a compulsive liar

posted February 26, 2019 08:14 PM            

why do you find the composite just ok? Its love stellium with moon involved...

curious.

and no rush, you are in the midst of chaos and these charts are not anything but charts.

posted February 26, 2019 08:25 PM            

My apologies.. yes, your Pluto is not square his Moon. And yep, that rapport will be nice with the Moons both understanding the strain of that t-square. A recognition that I think will go a long way.

His Pluto is unaspected? But on your NN which is also so? Wow. Edit - yes, this is true! This is huge.

I haven't looked properly at the composite, and why I put ok in parenthesis. So, theoretically it's ok.. pending a proper check.

Yes, it has the stellium.. which is fab. There are challenges though.

It looks to me like one of those situations where there will be a lot of good. But not without challenges, which is fine, just how challenging are those challenges? I haven't looked enough yet for this to be a certain statement

I've added comments above to my last comment about his Venus etc

Ps.. just to save time and effort update: I have fb-stalked Hypothetical. So.. he hasn't completely gone then
Funny.. I see now how he was a liar: his Neptune square his Moon, that kind of accidental lying. For example, he told me that his photo was from 3 months ago. But it was really 3 years ago. And also that he doesn't drink, but he does. He doesn't have a lot on his profile, but it's been fun to see his (astrological) character through the comments on his profile with friends

posted February 27, 2019 07:55 AM            

this guy I am seeing is a friend of my best friend's husband, they've known him 18 years. So no pathological liar or crazy weirdness happening here. Yay!

I think his Pluto is wide for my NN, don't you? You use more generous orbs than me. I don't count his second T square, though maybe its ambient?

We both have challenging Venus Neptune in our natal. I see it as not seeing people clearly, wearing rose colored glasses and choosing wrong partners. At leasts that's my version.

So here is what i am pondering about his chart. He has Leo Mars. But it's not what I would expect. He's not showy or flashy, really quite conservative. More Saturn like for sure (Moon). His Mars isn't really strongly aspected. He is goofy and has a great sense of humor, so thats Leo Mars... but I would expect it to be more prominent.

According to skipped step theory- his Jupiter/Juno squares his nodes, and my Mars is on the the other side. So I am a skipped step in his process.

Also- his Valentine is 2 degrees from my NN. And our Valentine's are sextile.

And one more thought I had (probably the most significant)- his Eros is trapped inside that T-square, linked to his moon right? Notice that my Eros is conjunct my Sun, so providing the 4th leg of stability in the configuration. I feel strongly that is what I bring to him karmically. Support to release his Moon, bolster him, expression of passion in life... finding his way. With the Cancer qualities that balance his T square, I illustrate what was missing.

posted February 27, 2019 09:03 AM            

"But Opposite uranus in libra... hmmmm, I am a little stuck here. Uranus is where you stand out, where you are different. Libra is balance, love, harmony, relating to others...so he has a different way of going about relationships. How is this connected to his wound of self and his emotional being?"

I have heard and read that aspect to the outer planets often represent things that come to the person from the outer world.

So.. Uranus opposite would be a wound of instability that came from the outer world, and intruded into the psyche.

From where exactly it came, is house dependent.

Edit: snap! We posted at some time, lol.

Perhaps the nodes are too wide but hard to tell with no grids! You of ALL people SM!

posted February 27, 2019 12:28 PM            

but, let's see if this is any better?

posted February 27, 2019 12:32 PM            

It's interesting though bcs I have uranus in the 12th in scorpio. It is essentially that I am not even aware of how I am different from the mainstream (I am now, but wasn't for a long time). I also love different perspectives, different takes on life. My uranus has a deep water quality to it- scorpio and neptune. So uranus is not always from an outer source for me, as it reflects my own uniqueness.

posted February 27, 2019 05:55 PM            

It's interesting though bcs I have uranus in the 12th in scorpio. It is essentially that I am not even aware of how I am different from the mainstream (I am now, but wasn't for a long time). I also love different perspectives, different takes on life. My uranus has a deep water quality to it- scorpio and neptune. So uranus is not always from an outer source for me, as it reflects my own uniqueness.

posted February 27, 2019 08:31 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by StoneMoon:
Thanks for that thought! You're right! So the instability for him was reflected in relationships. With his mom. His mother was erratic, didn't nurture (how he needed), and left wounding to his sense of self.

It's interesting though bcs I have uranus in the 12th in scorpio. It is essentially that I am not even aware of how I am different from the mainstream (I am now, but wasn't for a long time). I also love different perspectives, different takes on life. My uranus has a deep water quality to it- scorpio and neptune. So uranus is not always from an outer source for me, as it reflects my own uniqueness.

I plan on working on getting his TOB this weekend.

---

Yes, but, it the 12H: it's a return and a submersion into the all. So that is the "outer world" that has impacted your life and given the instability and pain. I suppose.

It's embedded in your own psyche. It has made you feel isolated and too different from people.

It's arguably a better placement than if it was in the 6H or 10H.. or the 2nd..7th.. etc? But hard to say.

I thought you used grids? My mistake. Can you say who's who on the grid so I don't have to keep scrolling up and down. Also be good to get the grids for the natals when I get around to looking at them both again.

Soo.. through that sensitive Moon conjunct, you both feel each others Moon sesisquare Venus - an aspect you both have in your natals. So, another avenue for raport.

You also give him thorough that conjuction, a quintile to Uranus, where he has a square. And you exchange a trine to Mars for a sextile to Jupiter.

The orbs are quite close overall, with all the aspects you have together. But then, a lot of them are semi, sesisquares and inconjuncts.

posted February 28, 2019 05:32 AM            

It is not brotherly/good friend, at least at the moment. We are early stages of dating. But the rapport is extremely comfortable and easy.

With Mars to Moon and Moon and Mars to Jupiter, there is more than platonic feeling. He's in my 8th and 7th houses and he hits my 5th house ruler (and ASC/chart ruler) with his Moon. I don't know how I hit him though I do know he is interested in dating me, not friending me.

posted February 28, 2019 05:51 AM            

Hmmm...

You have your Pluto trine his Venus. He has it natally (same as me and Hypo..). Remember we were having that conversation a few months back?

It was about if someone has it natally, and therefore their whole Pluto generation will trine their Venus?

"friending" lol

Wow. just noticed you're both Cancer with Cap Moon.

posted February 28, 2019 05:37 PM            

I noticed that the composite links in well to both of your charts.