Author
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Topic: TA Fellowship - help
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delerious Knowflake Posts: 800 From: Registered: Dec 2004
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posted December 03, 2004 07:17 PM
I gotta be serious here for a minute, folks. I really need the help of all my friends at TA. (yeah, I bet you can already guess by what I’m saying what its about)I fell off the wagon today – its bad. It started out innocently enough, went to the mall, spent a long time at Walmart (no problem there)… But then we went downtown. No harm in that. And I walked past this bookstore…. A BIG bookstore. A big bookstore with a BIG New Age section. Before I knew it, my feet were walking in there. (Should’ve known I was in trouble then, what with the holidays + all) But I thought I’d be OK, I’d just stay by the murder mysteries and Harlequin romances. But my disease was in control, I walked right over to the “forbidden” section. And this book just drew me toward it, like I was hypnotised. “THE MEDICINE WHEEL – Earth Astrology” by Sun Bear and Wabun (illustrated by Nimimosha and Thunderbird Woman) With trembling hands I opened the cover – Prentice Hall Press, © 1980, pub 1986. Then started all the justifications – “ It’s just 1 small book. What could it hurt? I’ll only read this one” “It’s an old book, a used book, it only costs $4 – who knows if it even has any potency?” I just couldn’t resist, it was starting. But wait, it gets worse. Further down the aisle I spied another BIG book…. Love Signs. Well that was it, LG has always been practically my favorite think… (I'll admit it, I'll think almost anything) I think you know what happened then, it was all over. I wanted it so bad I even begged the $ off my sister (she always has been an enabler when it comes to this sort of thing, but I’ve never been honest with her about just how bad it is) So now I’m sitting here in this empty place, all alone on a Friday night with these 2 unopened books in front of me. It wouldn’t be so bad if I could read just one chapter, maybe 2, three at the most. But no, not this Aries, I’ll just go on + on, thinking + thinking, knowing me I’ll probably think all night. Start with the little one + move on to the heavy stuff. Then I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to stop!!! Probably forget to eat, get online and type some inane gibberish I won’t remember and have to apologize to you all for later. Please I need some tough love here. Scare me with stories of what my life will be like if I continue down this path. Help me stop, I really don’t want to think anymore!!! Its making my life too difficult!!! Life would be so much easier, like jwhop said (oh jwhop, will you be my sponsor, you 1st opened my eyes to what my life was becoming) At least let me know what I’m getting into with that 1st one, if I read would you consider me a serious thinker? (already know about the 2nd) Thanks for listening and all the support – I couldn’t make it without all of you!!! P.S. Do you think we could get George W. to speak at our next meeting? I’m almost positive he hasn’t had a think in a long time PPS. Maybe I should move to a red (Blue?) state – heard there’s very little thinking there too…
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jwhop Knowflake Posts: 9417 From: Madeira Beach, Florida Registered: Aug 2001
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posted December 03, 2004 11:09 PM
Well delerious, you're on the slippery slope with one foot on the banana peel. You couldn't have picked a worst topic than astrology to begin "thinking" about. Soon, you'll be spiraling off, questioning the meaning of life and the purpose of the universe(s). You could have picked up a book on Egyptology and thought about something relatively simple....like who really built the pyramids and how but you, in typical Aries style, went right to the jackpot questions. First things first....caution, don't open those books. Instead, sit back, take a deep breath and put your mind in neutral. Now, relax and have a martini. Works for me Besides, you won't find any answers to your questions on Earth and after jumping through black holes at the center of endless galaxies, you'll eventually arrive in a galaxy with a single sun with a single planet with a single building and a little man out front watering his petunias. When you ask him what's the meaning of life and the purpose of the universe, he'll shrug and say "No entiendo inglés". IP: Logged |
Philbird Knowflake Posts: 3396 From: Here, there and everywhere. Registered: Jun 2004
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posted December 04, 2004 06:49 PM
Read OSHO's book "Intelligence, that'll stop you from thinking. You are too funny!IP: Logged |
Philbird Knowflake Posts: 3396 From: Here, there and everywhere. Registered: Jun 2004
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posted December 04, 2004 06:52 PM
Also, you could put the books under your mattress and absorb the information. No thinking required!IP: Logged |
delerious Knowflake Posts: 800 From: Registered: Dec 2004
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posted December 04, 2004 07:49 PM
Well I survived the night...thanks for the suggestion Jwop, alas I had no booze in the house but I'll have to make a point to keep some around for just such emergencies.... My head hurt this a.m. from my fall from grace, but the best thing I did was spend some time at "Rapture Ready" + the photo's of the vacation certainly was the momentary cure.. Please keep the suggestions coming in, as long as I have braincells left (working on that) this will be a problem for me. Meanwhile, I'll be saying the Serenity Prayer.... IP: Logged |
proxieme unregistered
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posted December 04, 2004 10:08 PM
*snaps fingers*To the living room! A reality show marathon for you! IP: Logged |
jwhop Knowflake Posts: 9417 From: Madeira Beach, Florida Registered: Aug 2001
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posted December 05, 2004 12:29 AM
Hey philbird, I like your book under the mattress idea. Knowledge by osmosis IP: Logged |
pixelpixie Knowflake Posts: 5301 From: Ontario Canada Registered: Jun 2005
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posted December 05, 2004 01:05 AM
( I am sitting on a dictionary right now! )IP: Logged |
delerious Knowflake Posts: 800 From: Registered: Dec 2004
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posted December 05, 2004 02:25 AM
lack of knowledge by osmosis?IP: Logged |
delerious Knowflake Posts: 800 From: Registered: Dec 2004
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posted December 05, 2004 02:29 AM
and I think back-to-back reruns of "the Bachelorette"'s 1st season would suit the purpose IP: Logged |
Philbird Knowflake Posts: 3396 From: Here, there and everywhere. Registered: Jun 2004
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posted December 05, 2004 07:32 AM
...or a little Demeral!IP: Logged |
delerious Knowflake Posts: 800 From: Registered: Dec 2004
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posted March 24, 2005 11:49 PM
Whoever brought up the TA string, this is all you faultcause I realized the reason I haven't been signing in much lately's cause I fell off the wagon, and yes.... I've been thinking too much... it's a vice I can't control... jwhop my sponsor I'm counting on you.... Libra Sparkle you just can't run out on me you know you're partially responsible for my fall from grace.. and Johnny you know how it feels.. I hope you've survived I swear I gotta swear off thinking... someone help meee...... IP: Logged |
jwhop Knowflake Posts: 9417 From: Madeira Beach, Florida Registered: Aug 2001
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posted March 25, 2005 01:32 AM
Well delerious, I knew you were thinking again, straying from the straight and narrow. That's what happens when you don't take Dr. Hop's advice Here, have that martini I suggested Then head over to http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum7/HTML/003998-10.html where I left you some doughnuts. Mmmmm, delicious when dipped in a vodka martini...especially the chocolate cremes...Mmmmmm. Guaranteed to take your mind off thinking. Next time you feel a thought coming on, wrap your mind around one of the following bits of nonsense..before it gets a chance to surface. Works for me On Top of Spaghetti On top of spaghetti, all covered with cheese, I lost my poor meatball when somebody sneezed. It rolled off the table and onto the floor, And then my poor meatball rolled out of the door. It rolled in the garden and under a bush, And then my poor meatball was nothing but mush. So, if you eat spaghetti, all covered with cheese, Hold onto your meatball and don’t ever sneeze. Tiny Tim
I had a little turtle, his name was Tiny Tim. I put him in the bathtub, to teach him how to swim. He drank up all the water, he ate up all the soap. And now when he talks, there's a bubble in his throat. Do Your Ears Hang Low? Do your ears hang low, do they wobble to and fro? Can you tie them in a knot, can you tie them in a bow? Can you throw them over your shoulder, like a continental soldier? Do your ears hang low? Camp Granada Hello Muddah, hello Fadduh, here I am at Camp Granada. Camp is very entertaining, And they say we'll have some fun if it stops raining.
I went hiking with Joe Spivey; he developed poison ivy. You remember Leonard Skinner? He got ptomaine poisoning last night after dinner. All the counselors hate the waiters and the lake has alligators. And the head coach wants no sissies, So he reads to us from something called "Ulysses." Now I don't want this should scare ya, but my bunkmate has malaria. You remember Jeffrey Hardy? They're about to organize a searching party. Take me home, oh Muddah, Fadduh, Take me home, I hate Granada Don't leave me out in the forest Where I might get eaten by a bear. Take me home, Fadduh, Muddah I promise I will not make noise Or mess the house with oth - er boys; Oh please don't make me stay, I've been here one whole day. Dearest Fadduh, darling Muddah, How's my precious little bruddah? Let me come home if you miss me - I would even let Aunt Bertha hug and kiss me. Wait a minute--it stopped hailing. Guys are swimming, guys are sailing, Playing baseball--gee, dat's bettah! Muddah, Fadduh, kindly disregard this lettah! IP: Logged |
Philbird Knowflake Posts: 3396 From: Here, there and everywhere. Registered: Jun 2004
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posted March 25, 2005 01:02 PM
TEE HEE, JWHOP! I like it when you come out of the GU closet. Delerious, open your mind to one hand clapping, then close it when you hear the sound of two!IP: Logged |
jwhop Knowflake Posts: 9417 From: Madeira Beach, Florida Registered: Aug 2001
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posted March 26, 2005 02:27 PM
Coming out of the GU closet? Oh my, don't tell anyone down at TA You're sounding far too rational for me to deal with after bobbing for olives all night. Shaken or stirred...it doesn't really matter since it's the olive at the bottom of the glass that's important. I wonder when someone's going to invent the floating olive? IP: Logged |
Philbird Knowflake Posts: 3396 From: Here, there and everywhere. Registered: Jun 2004
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posted March 26, 2005 07:47 PM
Guess you'll have to go classless and use a straw, or just pour it on the counter. I, however, would just drink out of the bottles and eat the olive after.IP: Logged |
Philbird Knowflake Posts: 3396 From: Here, there and everywhere. Registered: Jun 2004
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posted March 26, 2005 07:51 PM
Here you go Mr. Jwhop.IP: Logged |
jwhop Knowflake Posts: 9417 From: Madeira Beach, Florida Registered: Aug 2001
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posted March 26, 2005 08:59 PM
Hehehe, wonder why I didn't think of that PB? Well, that's the difference between those of us who don't think and those of us..who do I guess I could skip the vodka and vermouth altogether and have a really "dry" martini. IP: Logged |
delerious Knowflake Posts: 800 From: Registered: Dec 2004
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posted August 07, 2005 10:27 PM
you lied to me Jwhop, I'm so disapointed in your advice, (my sponser!) drinking doesn't work, I still keep thinking... any more big ideas?????? IP: Logged |
delerious Knowflake Posts: 800 From: Registered: Dec 2004
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posted August 07, 2005 10:32 PM
I'm really in a crisis, and where are you when I really need you!!!!!!,,,,, TA sucks!!!! to the bones with all of you..... I'm just gonna start thinking again and there's nothing anybody can do to stop me........IP: Logged |
jwhop Knowflake Posts: 9417 From: Madeira Beach, Florida Registered: Aug 2001
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posted August 09, 2005 01:06 PM
Well delerious, drinking usually works...for most thinking teetotalers. I stumbled upon a scientific study which may have application for adherents of Thinkers Anonymous...when all else fails...at least for the women. According to the study, women are induced to a state of total non thinking during orgasm. I'm pondering the possibility of refining the process and introducing it to TA members...Orgasm Therapy I realize some thinking will be necessary on my part and laborious testing but we all must make certain sacrifices for the advancement of science towards a non thinking state Hopefully, your faith in the principles of TA have been restored. IP: Logged |
pixelpixie Knowflake Posts: 5301 From: Ontario Canada Registered: Jun 2005
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posted August 09, 2005 04:01 PM
*signs up*IP: Logged |
jwhop Knowflake Posts: 9417 From: Madeira Beach, Florida Registered: Aug 2001
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posted August 09, 2005 11:03 PM
Ah Pixie, a volunteer...seeker of truth and the scientific inquiry into Orgasm Therapy. Can't say I'm surprised the first volunteer is a Scorpio, Leo rising IP: Logged |
pixelpixie Knowflake Posts: 5301 From: Ontario Canada Registered: Jun 2005
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posted August 09, 2005 11:20 PM
First and second. IP: Logged |
Philbird Knowflake Posts: 3396 From: Here, there and everywhere. Registered: Jun 2004
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posted August 10, 2005 12:24 PM
Anyone have allergies? Sneezing 6 times in a row is the equivalant to an orgasm! Maybe they'll be a Tickle My Nose Elmo in the future...IP: Logged |