posted May 25, 2003 06:05 PM              

Cancer man emailed me the day after our night out and told me my ex, Aqua man, had been asking about me.

After much thought and consternation, I contacted Aqua man. I told Cancer man I contacted Aqua man. Cancer man avoided the subject, but I felt he should know.

Aqua man and I got together and talked about our break up and I finally got some answers I needed to heal my heart.

I told Aqua man that Cancer man and I had become friends. Aqua man was upset and told me he didn't like me being friends with Cancer man.

Now I don't hear from Cancer man often, and Aqua man is a friend. Cancer man asks me to find him dates.

I am very thankful for Cancer man, but realize he and Aqua are too close for anything to have ever materialized.

Seeing Aqua man was overly emotional, and my heart still cries for him. I thought I was over him, but I am still very vulnerable.

I don't know what will happen with Aqua man...he is someone who has indelibly impacted me, even though he was not perfect in our relationship. (I am not the easiest person to have a relationship with either). We continue to be friends, and sometimes I think about him romantically, but I am not sure I could trust him again. For now, I keep busy at work and try not to focus on men!

That's the story.

posted May 25, 2003 06:35 PM              

The same thing happened when I was married, my ex an Aquarius who "had stopped talking to me", suddenly contacted me in a way that my hubby did NOT like this was after two years of no contact. I had to laugh because my pride and pain were all mixed up with what I was feeling. I told him too late because I felt independent enough in my current relationship, I did not need to learn how to be free anymore.

I really doubt that you will be over this Aquarius soon, his heart will be slow to mend too, only it doesn't show because he is insecure.

The best way is to just continue to talk to the Aquarius so that you can remain friends. He will not want to lose a friend he can talk to you, and this way you can both work out your feelings objectively as friends. Stick to telephone conversation only for a while, but do not give up on being friends. It's the only way you will know for sure if your feelings are resolved.

Nothing hurts worse than an Aquarius who stops talking to you and gives you the silent treatment on purpose. I have an Aquarius brother so I know, he will never stop talking or keeping in touch unless he is angry or hurt and then the Guilt, the Guilt you will feel. There is no use in pretending that you do not feel Guilt over the relationship, you have to sort out what is guilt and what is respect and admiration on your own but you can still be his friend to help understand your emotions.

Letting go emotionally will hurt, if he wants to get together physically, tell him he needs to be alone without anyone but you can always be there for him by phone when he wants to share his problems. Being alone for a while would be a good idea to sort out your feelings and to enjoy what comes out of that. Even married couples need to be alone from each other.

Take it slow,

Had to say all this,

posted May 25, 2003 07:04 PM              

That all makes so much sense. Aqua man does keep in touch will all his ex's- even the ones who are married. When we were in a relationship, I was very bothered by this. He told me that he has to be a lover's friend first, or he would never be romantically involved...and if the romance doesn't work out, he still considers them a friend, and still wants to be in touch.

I don't know if I am one of those 'friends' or if he intends to try to rekindle our relationship- and as I mentioned before...I don't know if I could let my heart trust him again.

One thing that I have noticed about Aqua man is that he cannot be independent. We were in a three year relationship that had some off times. He finally admitted to me that during those off times, he ran back to the girlfriend he had before we started dating. When we would get back together, he would never tell me about being with her. I was so hurt and enraged when I found out. Now that a year has passed I am not angry- I am just trying to understand this man.

He is now dating his high school sweetheart, a woman who is 2,500 miles away. He told me it was easy to fall into a relationship with her after we broke up because he was in her city often this past year. He has also told me he is confused about the relationship.

He likes to 'rescue' women. His sun is in the fifth house, and I think he has to have romance, unlike me he simply cannot be alone.

I am glad we are friends, but at times I feel guilty, because I don't feel comfortable talking to him several times a week when I know he has a girlfriend.

I just don't know.

posted May 25, 2003 10:27 PM              

Aquarius does not like to be alone but that doesn't mean he needs a physical partner around. Even if he goes with this girl he will still prefer mental companionship. It's just because it bothers you that it WOULD help you to remain friends, that way you can work out your issues with him now, rather than years from now.

He will not try and rekindle the relationship because Aquarius are not really into the physical, he is satisfied with friendship. By being his friend he is working out his big issue, which is being real friends with a woman and not saving her or saving himself. He needs to be his own best friend first.

Good friends challenge each other, it will take time as friends to find out if you have what it takes for a relationship. A relationship needs more than sparks and he needs to find that out too. By being his friend you can save both of yourselves grief.

If he feels like saving somone recommend he do some charity work, that's what I recommend to the Aquarius people I know because they are really into saving others. That will help him work out his frustration. You could both work on a project to help others.

A Libra friend of mine with Sun in the fifth is a big saver of woman. He is helping build homes for low income families on the weekends now, he is so much happier than he ever was in a relationship with a woman.

The best quote I ever heard about men is the line from the song the Gambler " Every hand is a winner, and every hand is a loser, know when to hold em and know when to fold em." That pretty much works for men too. Be objective and keep it light.

What ever astrolger first started saying Aquarius's were independent was misinformed. They think they would like to be independent, big difference. Emotionally though they are very fragile. Tell him he needs to his own "best friend".

posted April 14, 2004 12:57 AM            

It's bad for me. Air and Fire usually is too much like me to hold my interest. And the rest, well, Earth bugs me. Water makes me a big puddle of emotion.

posted April 14, 2004 02:05 AM              

when he turns into a cancerous disease, bounce before its too late.

posted April 14, 2004 02:40 PM              

I knew a Taurus guy that kind of turned into a cyst for me...Showed up out of the blue ALL THE TIME...(we weren't even going out, he just liked me)and he wouldn't pick up on hints to leave! I'd have to come right out and say "You have to go now. I have to ....go somewhere/do something/meet somebody." If I said I have to go get ready to go somewhere, he'd say, "Ok, well, I'll just watch t.v. while you do that." Grrr....I finally had to start being mean to him, even though I dislike doing that very much, especially to someone who has a crush or whatever...(the Leo in me can't help to find that endearing "You find me attractive?? Well, bless your heart, I guess you can't be all bad" lol...)

posted April 17, 2004 12:24 PM              

But being a Cancer means feeling a loss of identity, and so attention from friends is sought after, it's normal for a Cancer. I like older Cancers, not younger ones, but they are wise at any age-regarding relationships.

They do make great counselors,
but I can't get involved with a counselor and those are all the Cancers and water men I meet, are men connected with my work or counseling me. Work and personal have to be separate.

Maturity is key, and I like mature men and women, I do find earth and water signs find it easier in general as they get older.