posted December 09, 2003 03:31 PM            

Here's Liz Greene's take on the elusive Scorpio man:

The Scorpio man
Let's strip away the glamour and the smokescreens and see what's underneath. The emotional needs of the Scorpio man are utterly human: affection, acceptance, reassurance, intimacy, love, companionship. In large quantities. Scorpio men cannot bear coldness or falseness in a partner. That mask of detachment is a mask. Remember that. No Scorpio man will advertise the fact that he's hurt or feeling neglected. You have to train as a telepath.

The Scorpio man is embarrassed by the presence of so much strong emotion in himself. That's when he becomes the hard-driving, ruthless, ambitious Scorpio of the textbook descriptions. But think of what it took to get him that way. Can you ever get a Scorpio man to let down his defences? Maybe. Maybe not. In the end, it isn't up to you. It rests with the Scorpio himself.

This isn't an easy man to live with. For one thing, you won't get straight answers if you ask pertinent questions like, "Do you love me?" On the other hand, you'll get brutal scrapings of the bottom of the barrel when you least want it - like a vicious hour-long analysis of your motives in flirting with So-and-so at the party, and why it stems from your sexual inadequacies and your rejection by your parents. If you thought you had secrets from him, think again.

The Scorpio man can cut deep if he wants to, and his need to retaliate can take precedence over tolerance and compassion. He can be very destructive when he's hitting back at you for some hurt you've inflicted on him without your even realising it. Tell you that you hurt his feelings? Not likely. Often he won't apologise either.

To live with this man, you must truly respect and like him. Passionate attraction alone isn't enough. And you must understand him - how his acute perceptions isolate him, what his depth of feeling does to him in a society which rewards superficiality, what his sensitivity means in a world which doesn't value it. If you can't like him, then leave him alone, because you'll never change him, and if you ask, he'll probably do the opposite.

This man doesn't appreciate either an Amazon or a clinging limpet. He wants to be needed. On the other hand, he respects strength. If you make allowances for his pride, which won't permit him to admit a wrong or lose a battle, no lover is more devoted, compassionate, insightful or gentle. Show your pain to a Scorpio man and he'll do anything for you. Treat him with shallowness, demean him, and you have no chance of receiving anything at all except his unpleasantness, which can be unbelievably unpleasant. And don't trifle. A Scorpio man who thinks he's being mocked with can be the most difficult person in the world. His pride won't allow it.

And what about the possessiveness? Well, let's be realistic. It's not going to go away. Nor is his feeling that he has the prerogative - for flirtations, for affairs, for whatever he feels he wants or needs - while you don't, since you're his. Because there's a battleground inside him, the Scorpio man perceives life as a battleground, and you're either on his side or not. It's that simple. This man can't forgive betrayal, but it's a much deeper issue than mere sexual betrayal. When he gives his love, he bares his soul, and if you betray that, you've lost him. Forever. You can betray him even if you're sexually constant, just by treating his deepest and most passionate beliefs and convictions with contempt or dismissal.

Somewhere deep inside, the Scorpio man is a warrior fighting for the truth. He may not think in such grand metaphysical terms, and he might not welcome too much probing of his motives. But there it is. You don't turn to your comrade on the battlefield and say, "Well, actually, I think the enemy might have a point. Let's be reasonable and discuss where you're at fault."

You're for him or against him. He's prepared to offer the same passionately loyalty he expects in return. The best gift you can give him is to believe in him, and side with him when he's going through one of his "The world doesn't understand me!" phases. Scorpio trusts few people because few people are really trustworthy. Give him your true allegiance, and you'll have a genuine dyed-in-the-wool champion. For life.

I think Aries women like for things to be cut and dry - you know put the cards on the table and let's get on with it. Having an Aries moon, I can identify with that. Aries is also not known for patience, the more you pry the more the Scorp goes into his cave.

Maybe you have a strong scorpio placement or ascendent that draws the scorp men? What do you think? I know that attract Virgos which may be due to my Virgo rising and the conjunction with Pluto in my first house. Maybe the same is true for you.

posted December 09, 2003 03:34 PM              

Scorpio guys never seem to have a problem opening up to me (I'ma Pisces); if anything, I've had the opposite "problem". Some of my best friends have been Scorp dudes, and they usually end-up spilling more than I think they'd like when we talk. I've had some of my most rewarding, deep, and probing friendship-convos with Scorps.
When I'm around them, I tend to be more quiet (but catch more) and ask more questions (when it feels like they want me to) than to spout off myself, but that's just something that comes automatically to me in that situation so I don't have any tips.

Besides that, they often seem to need repeated shows of loyalty (as you noted) - but not brash ones, if that can be helped-...if it's not immediate, perhaps it just takes time.

posted December 09, 2003 03:41 PM              

hmm. i am an aries too. but i have the opposite situation, where it's the scorpios that make up the conversations. i am mostly shy in person and don't say much. i am insecure sometimes in that area, so may be that's why they cut me some slack.

hmm. that's actually pretty sweet now that i think about it. i don't recall any scorpio saying to me that i irritate them.

*thinks* how to facilitate better communication . . . how about being a good listener? and, being present

good luck crazyaries.

posted December 10, 2003 12:22 AM              

p.s. i just asked my scorp mom what she thinks...she said just try not to be controlling (scorps hate that, well, most signs do, and since aries is mars ruled there tends to be a warriorlike approach sometimes!) and to be open and communicative. i think any sign who feels loved, respected and that they have their space will open up over time in their own ways.

posted December 10, 2003 11:32 AM              

i had a mini spiraling session about esoterics on my way to the water cooler and just wanted to give the best advice that came out: be yoursELF

posted December 10, 2003 02:15 PM            

That is too funny....rather lick your own toejam that p1ss off a Scorp. LOL......I almost blew coffee on my keyboard.

posted December 10, 2003 03:46 PM            

I had a friend that was a Scorp that was also my coworker. She never intimidated me nor do the other Scorps I work with. I am not sure why, I just don't find them to be scary even when angry.

posted December 14, 2003 04:21 PM              

I don't know why I'm posting this. Other than to say to any scorpio man who may be reading this, to the world and to God, that I appreciate and cherish what you have and what you are. And I would love to be on the receiving end of it--and not take it for granted. Also, you'd get it all back in return.

I was just so devastated when I saw just how easy it was for someone to walk right into his life, his world when it was utterly impossible for me. Maybe she was just more bold, quite possibly a fire sign, and just DID IT. And maybe he saw that as being dedicated and fierce. I could have done that, but it's just NOT really my style. I listened to what he told me, that he wanted to be alone, and so I held back. I can't help but feel now that her gain is my loss.

Meanwhile, I have met another very nice scorpio man who's not quite as private as the other one, and I'm eager to see what happens next. He's a trip, though, because he's got 5 planets in scorpio. Perhaps I should be careful, because with my south node in scorpio, maybe hooking up with a scorpio is not the idea this life. (gravitating towards the past when I need to move forward).

It's just that the scorpio I fell for taught me so much - I'll never forget him.

Thanks for listening.
Astrid

posted December 15, 2003 02:10 PM            

He was 16 years older than she and saw her when he was riding his horse through the fields in Texas. He was managing a ranch at 32 and she was a 16 year old doing laundry. (She was also a stunning 5 foot 10 inch woman that is a full blood Apache and he was a shorter 5 foot 4 inch Spanish / Apache dude). LOL... I can just picture that.

Well, he fell for her, she thought he was kind of hot, riding all up on his horse - BUT she did not want to marry him. He / his family offered a substantial monetary sum to her family and she was his new bride. She didn't much care for him, but she did give him 12 kids - he died about 25 years ago and she is still going strong at 90.

One thing about their union. They were both very strong. He suffered a major car accident and almost died, but typical to Pluto's power he made a miraculous recovery. Before he died of bladder cancer in '78 he remarked to my father "Look, I will be leaving soon, but I am proud of all my family. Not one child, spouse or grandchild has died in this family. Mine will be the first" He was proud of his legacy and to this day, only one sibling out of the 12 has passed away. Still, no other child, grandchild, greatgrandchild or spouse has died.