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Author
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Topic: parents
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fishy
unregistered
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posted November 30, 2004 03:54 PM
 
I am a mutable sign Pisces, I have had a great relationship with both my parents. We have had many years of give and take in our relationship. My husband a Virgo has experienced the same with his family.
Maybe many people today dont know what give and take means, just a thought.
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Virgo-AriesArtist
Knowflake Posts: 175
From: Michigan :)
Registered: Jun 2009
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posted November 30, 2004 04:12 PM
Hmm, I just had to add into this discussion of parents, especially since my mom-dear is a Scorpio Sun, Aries Rising, Aries Moon, with Merc/Ven/Mars in Sagittarius. She is for the most part, very uncomfortable with touch, I mean, she's sorta kinda okay with it now, 19 years later, but when I was real little, I have memories and other's recollections that when I went to hug and kiss her often (blame the Virgo/Aries/Leo combo), she visibly flinched. I NEED desparately physical affection and love to dish it out too. I say "I love you" frequently (10+/day sometimes) to my nearest and dearest, giving hugs and kisses for no reason at all. I think people who won't hug me (after I've known them a reasonable length of time) are cold and paranoid. My Pisces Sun/Sag Rising/Virgo Moon little bro is very needy of affectionate gestures of reassurance too. He thrives on sincere physical displays of affection.------------------
-K
"Most people love with restraint
As if they were someday to hate
We hated gently, carefully
As if we were someday to love"-Venus Trines at Midnight IP: Logged |
sthenri
unregistered
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posted November 30, 2004 08:51 PM
My Aqua father passed away, but I DID have a Mother who happened to also be a Scorpio, as far as I am concerned, she's gone.Both parents had Pisces moons, not very much into children at all. BUT my Grandmother was/is a Scorpio/Aries Moon/Leo Ascendant and she is still with me spiritually. Very faith driven woman, strong spiritual values, and amazing intelligence, warmth, and selfless concern for others. I am a Taurus, not a mutable, but have many mutable planets, sister is a Sag, we are both not much into a homebase either except for hovering around each other and my Uncle and his family, he's a Virgo/Gemini Moon with Cancer Ascendant. I think Cancer Ascendants make great parents:>
He's also my Godfather, Natasha
Taurus
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geminstone
unregistered
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posted December 01, 2004 05:06 AM
I am just curious where it is written that, cuddling and, smothering your offspring with hugs and kisses, makes for a ' great ' parent? Everyone is entitled to their own space and comfort. If sincerity is what is needed, it is not only obtained by ' shows ' of affection. I am, so curious, how many have actually tried to, in all sincerity, truely understand the evil Scorpio donors that, for reasons not known, brought life. The relationship that I had as a child with my parents kept me quiet. As an adult, I am taken with proud respect and, quiet concern. I have a strong bond with my father Leo/Pisces Moon/Virgo Asc. Unfortunatly, I have only recently come to a point with my Mom that, she is able to tell of the, many, unlivable truths that have been part of her existance since such a young age forward that, at one point, it just seemed the 'norm' or, fate that she had been tossed. Now, I do believe that, had I paused and, given one thought, with all of my sincerest capacity, I believe that, this point could have been reached sooner, but then, I was in that quiet, child/parent role so,....? My Mother is a Leo/Virgo Moon/Pieces Asc. Her Scorpio, occupies it's natural 8th house, it's only planet; Chiron, which oddly enough, sits exactly opposite my Sun and, within two degrees of my Husbands Asc. in Sag, not Scorpio. Her Pluto; in Leo, 5th house 15 degrees. house is shared with her 5* Sun conjunct Juno at 2* and, Mercury at 8*. It could be seen that, Pluto represents one of her children, because of the 5th house. Mercury is a given, I am a Gemini, my Bro; a Virgo. Here is the opposing scenerio, I am the Scorpio but, Pluto has been a huge source of personal invasions and, attacks to my Mom in life. I have seen into her world and, though I have only known better because of her, she still always appeared ' cold ' and ' materialistic '. She seemed to try to ' buy ' love as a substitute for 'show' . My Mom has, always, loved the rain. It brings her safety, comfort. I did'nt know why for a long time. I now see how touch, even in the expression of honest affections, can actually be incredibly painful for her. It is said that actions speak louder than words,.... who then, ever sits still long enough to let understanding have it's say. I am Scorpio rising, I am not a cuddly, kissy face, smothering individual. My body is MY space and, not for 'public use'. My affections are given, as well as, recieved in all sincerity. I will not tell anyone that I love them, unless I, honestly do. Why would I ' show ' it in any other way. I am also, the mother of an Aries/Pisces Moon/Virgo Asc and, a Libra/Scorpio Moon/Sagi Asc. In being a mother, does that somehow make one a personal slave, playground, and every other fantastic ' thing' that my children can dream up? No. In having Scorpio influence, does that, by some default, leave my children lacking in the essential life force of love? No. I do not have the same relationship of quiet child/parent with my two, I want them to have their voice, it helps them to be still, so they might hear understanding. With that, they know me within that life force, not Mom. Love. Love, however, is not all fluffy and wonderful, if it never were a struggle at times, how would you even recognize any fluff and wonder? What, exactly, would the point be? In some of what I read in this thread, I am left wondering if there is any recognition of that same ' cold ' evil being what is recipricated..... I recall something about 2 wrongs,.... ~ geminstone IP: Logged |
pixelpixie
Newflake Posts: 8
From: ON Canada
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted December 01, 2004 10:29 AM
Geminstone~
Hi! I don't think we've really communicated much.
Bottom line.. I feel the need to defend my ability to give love freely ( when I say that, I mean sincerely, to the people deserving of it.. my loved ones.. not vague strangers, but the ones who've broken through into my personal sphere.)
I agree there are so many ways to parent.. and so many ways to receive parenting..or love in any close situation.
This weekend, I really lived this with my husband. He needs me so much more than I need him. In a 'cuddly' way. I love cuddling and demonstrating affecton... but not at all times. He needs constant love and reassurance.
Some kids thrive under those conditions.. others feel stifled. My own mother is a Cappy. There were times she goofed around, cuddled, and genuinely loved us. Then there were times when it was all business.. she had to do what she had to do, and we all adapted.
My best friend's parents left her alone. They would show their love through things. This worked for her.. it wouldn't have for me. Whatever works for yours. That's all that matters. We are all so different and yet the sam, it really boggles my mind when I try to see it objectively.
I fnd I am so busy doing other things in my life, my love and affection MUST be shown in a very demonstrative way, or else, how would they know. This is transient.. but still. I have to cram a bunch of love nto short period of time and hope they don't resent me for it.
I will crash soon, I know.
It's actually my son's tenth birthday today. Two digit club, I am soooooooo excited.IP: Logged |
sthenri
unregistered
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posted December 01, 2004 12:54 PM
I think the problem with the cuddling versus non cuddling parent has to do more with the rejection fears of the one asking for the cuddling. Not the warmth or interest of the parent. If someone has a low threshold for rejection, the parent is seen as cold and selfish.The parent will favor another child, who may see himself as the pleaser, and he sees the first child as the cold one. If a parent is stubborn and does not change moods easily, then it can be seen as cold. A child that is demanding and wants change, or gets bored easily would want more attention, touching the parent to get that attention and the parent could see that as painful. I really see it as a control issue, one trying to control the other one's mood and space, which is normal at first. Scorpios are fixed and like all fixed signs are stubborn, but Aqua parents can be equally difficult to get attention from. Lots of touching is simply, Look at Me Now, not hug me now. Cold and selfish acts are not as clear to me as the intentions. And how can you tell if someone is selfish unless they tell you how they feel? Parents/children have a way of reading each others minds, which is invasive unless controlled. I have learned for that reason to be very touchy in a questioning sort of way, such as
"Is it okay to touch you sometimes"?
I never guess. I also do not see myself as public space, or any space for use by others unless I verbally acknowledge that. But society in general expects people to treat eachother as public space, unless one person expresses a desire for otherwise verbally. Self assertion is key and it doesn't come from the parents. For that reason I see the parents sign as unimportant, except for predicting stability. Natasha
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geminstone
unregistered
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posted December 02, 2004 01:32 PM
Hi again! Pixelpixie, hello! I do hope that your feeling to defend, was not against me....? I, completely, agree, .... To Each His Own. It is because of this that I asked the question at the start of my last post. I have issues about fitting into the ' typical ' molds that we are taught are the ' good ' people. I did not intend to come off as threatening in any way.... I read the post you put up this morning in regard to your mother, and I do understand. I feel a, very strong, connection to my maternal side of my family. However, when it came my time to carry out ' Momminess ', I was, devistatingly, lost. I had always heard that ' maternal instinct ' would kick in and, guide me. Imagine how it felt to not think it had happened! Maybe you know. I don't think that I am the only one. Of course, that said, I CHERISH my kids. I love them, not because of physical ties rather, because they are Love and, I cannot help being drawn in. In truth, my bottom line is this,
I have the ' title ' of Mother, because of these two, only. These two, only, will be the final say as to my success or failure. I will be who I am though. I show them my ' human-ness ', I believe in doing this, I give them all of me. There are sides of me that, only, my kids KNOW. I emphasize, because they do not just see, they too have similar sides. I am NEVER above making mistakes, thus, never afraid or, above, giving my apologies. I am a, firm, believer in communication and, the importance of it, (.... well, go figure, right!? I am a Gemini... hehehe...). Even though I do exhibit a lot of my Scorpio, I to, need the physical affections to feel a completeness. Probably moreso, than other Scorpio's. My Moon is in Pisces, 4th house.... which reminds me of the post about Pisces Moons not being into children..... My Husband and I share this placement, even to the degree.... Oh, I'm not going to ramble on so, in closing this, what I leave will encompass my thoughts for that statement too. I agree, To Each His Own. So far so good, from where I am standing, in my experience. My kids tell me that I am the best Mom and, will give their honesty when, they follow with, ".... even though you are'nt always fun. I Love You Mom. ". I know that they really do love ME, not some ' Norm ' that covers and hides the things that give me fault. I think that Love in it's purest state accepts, forgives, understands. Well, I hope to have many more opportunities to corrospond with you Pixelpixie, I think there is a lot of common ground between us. Congrates to your new membership, Happy Birthday to your Boy! and, don't worry about that ' crash ', in your strength is where your family takes it's roots, they will know how to heal you! IP: Logged |
pixelpixie
Newflake Posts: 8
From: ON Canada
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted December 02, 2004 02:09 PM
quote:
I do hope that your feeling to defend, was not against me....?
Oh, gosh no.
I meant in general... I just started my post after yours, and it was the point of reference. ( I will defend anyone and anything, I swear. It's both a blessing and a curse.. must be Libra Mercury and Pluto.)
I am glad you posted this. I thought about it on the way to school with my kids today.
How mothering is such a personal journey.. full of so much... important and mundane things. The only people you have to answer to, is yourself and your children. If, t the end of day 'review'.. something was not to your liking, the next day presents a possibility to overcome. Then the next.... and failing that, the next....
I was thinking about the cuddles I give my babies.(well, kids.. but they're MY babies..)I also express my love in less physical ways.. by putting a note into my boy's lunch. By apologizing if I have failed them.... by reading a book to my daughter who misses me when all I want to do is claim some ME time....
Loving your kids is also loving yourself... If I don't get some time to myself, no matter what I have done throughout the day.. I suck. Whether it is winding down here, or readng a book, or painting my nails..... I NEED, REQUIRE some downtime. I love myself enough to demand it.
My posts are like chapters today, I guess I really feel like communicating.IP: Logged |
geminstone
unregistered
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posted December 02, 2004 08:46 PM
I am relieved to see your post Pixelpixie!
My Libra Man shares that Mercury/Pluto in Libra. They are conjunct in his 11th house! I thought I had seen you referrence your age in your other post....Anyway, it is an intense journey; Mommyhood. I am of the same idea that, in order for them to know me, I have to. I totally feel where you are coming from, as far as, being missed for, ' me', time. I have a lot of my own guilt, which can frustrate the growth process at times but, these are the times that, I feel, my kids and I can, really, connect... this is when we are most vulnerable.... so, I suppose, in a backward sort of way, we actually do grow.... hmmm. I love it when that happens!Hehehe....
Anyway, yeah! If your posts are chapters, .... mine are dang novels!...
Thanks Pixelpixie! Later,
~ geminstone IP: Logged |
proxieme
unregistered
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posted December 02, 2004 10:31 PM
If ya'll just have too much time on your hands paired with a penchant for statistical analysis:
http://cura.free.fr/xxx/27ramak.html IP: Logged | |
Lindaland
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