posted June 30, 2005 04:37 PM              

Regarding Aquas though - it's true every time I have been really loving to Mr Aqua he's got bored with me, has acted up, and I'm sure has had crushes on other women.
If we're both being honest, our relationship is slowly coming to an end now; when I suggest he finds s/o else now (and mean it), he makes a face and stays put and tells me not to be so daft!

LOL

posted June 30, 2005 04:37 PM              

Birthplace: Brooklyn, New York (40° 40' N, 73° 58' W)
Birthtime: Jun 21, 1980 at 02:40 (07:40 GMT)

posted June 30, 2005 05:00 PM            

LOL...I won't respond about TP. Never in my life have I addressed people in her manner or resorted to calling someone a b1tch or hick because I couldn't retort back to them with someone intelligent. But, that aside- yes there can be some similarities- she is my polar opposite being a Gem and all.

I would ask you, what did you learn from the experience? Letting him go (which you did, again, rather abruptly) does it serve your heart well? I think it may be leaving a rather bitter taste in your mouth. Then again, maybe you learned something profound within yourself and rather than keeping the "lesson material" around, you move on. Maybe there is a bit of hurt on your side too because he found someone else.

But... did you value his friendship? Are you going to miss talking to him? Or are your feelings too deep to talk to him now that he is with someone else?

You have every right to take your time and reflect on what you learned...what you felt. That in itself is a HUGE step..you said it.. "I fell in love" You let your guard down enough to let those feelings happen, but they scared you.. Oh, now comes the baby steps. You know you can feel, you know your blocks, so now it's time to think of how to tear them down on your own instead of making some poor dude do it for you.

posted June 30, 2005 05:14 PM              

anyway, you say it so many times you are sometimes completely sure and other times not so sure you mean it. there is a reason for that but still in all................

he's young unless i'm "old" and 1980 isn't considered a youngster anymore. lol. ummmmm, have you shown or told him that you are upset because he has "upgraded" his relationship with someone else even though you told him time and time again that you want him to be happy.......etc., etc., etc., sorry, i'm rushing and all. btw, i say that i want you to be happy thing but when and why did you tell him - was he pressuring you to "upgrade" you's two relationship? was he aggrevating you or something?

anyway, yes, if it's meant to be it will be but until then, find out why you said what you said to him - if you said you were not ready, i'm sure you know why you said you were not ready - was it more because of him or because of you? i mean, there are plenty of factors that don't have to be astrologically driven like lifestyles, physicalities, priorities, principles, etc., etc., etc. once you figure that out - and you still want to be with this dude, you will go about doing it without second guessing yourself again. i think. i don't know - i'm still working on that, my self.

best of luck.

posted June 30, 2005 09:25 PM              

It is for men like him that they wrote those books "The Rules" and "Why men love B*tches."

Playing hard to get sucks. It would be so much easier to be straight forward.

posted July 01, 2005 12:27 AM              

And yes, I got mad just like you did, even though its unfair to get mad at someone for doing something that you told them you dont mind doing.

Life always has to be so complicated huh!

Do I still do this? Of course I do, but not as often and Im more aware of it and learning from it now. Im learning that there are ways to tell a person your feelings w/out sounding obsessive-compulsive and controlling

posted July 01, 2005 11:05 AM              

Ahhhh, well that's a familiar one / as familiar as the sun, moon, and stars. So you figured, you could get through the rough year you've been having by keeping a gate around your heart in case of.........and that you weren't much good to someone you truly care about by having so much "burden". Maybe you felt that you were so much of a burden, that you would drag him down too. Maybe you figured that your already shaped principles, priorities, dreams and aspirations, as well as improving the image of yourself that's slightly blurry as is, would help you win the "race" even after hearing the slow and steady wins the race story a billion times as well as the two heads are better than one statement.

You might have even figured that you would be much more confidant, productive and a much better mate if you could just get through the "burdens" on your own before you made a commitment to someone, much less talk about it - have you tried? if not, try and you might be surprised at your inability to make sense of what you call "burdens" and why you carry them around so much or think of them as such (Planet Soul's suggestion of writing a letter to him is a good one and you don't have to give it to him / it's as much for you than anyone else).

Maybe you were unsure the giving and receiving was stable enough, equal enough, clear enough. Maybe like Gloria Esteban - "I try to say I love you but the words get in the way". Maybe you didn't think that you could possibly get through the burdens by knowing you had a positive relationship that could possibly help you grow as an individual as well as a partner, with someone in close quarter and could create a new and maybe better plan/path from that - so you shunned it regardless of whether or not it would remain available to you whenever you were ready..

Still in all - accentuating the negative in spite of the positive didn't really keep your head above water because now - you are second guessing your instilled beliefs. You must stay strong and confidant otherwise you could become someone else's you.

That's my opinion on that - I wish you much luck in getting through this but history shows that if it's meant to be it'll be and in this - your situation with this gentleman, if it's meant to be, believe you/me - this young man will always be a part of your life and his aroma will be around you constantly and without letting up.