posted June 29, 2005 09:46 PM              

One worm I know in particular.

posted June 29, 2005 09:58 PM              

How odd a cancer wh*re.

posted June 30, 2005 06:05 AM            

no offense, cancers it was just my experience

posted June 30, 2005 11:38 AM              

Sue g, this whole thing happened a day after I left, so yes I was sort of "forced" back here.

posted June 30, 2005 01:24 PM              

quote:

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I have known a few men born under that sign who are womanisers

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posted June 30, 2005 01:38 PM            

Not knowing the intricacies of the relationship, but just reading your statements... I would think maybe he got tired of the drama. Even though he said he would wait until you were 100% ready (and really, I have no idea how long he pursued you.. if it had only been a month- then he is a wack-job...if he had waited a year...two years... and couldn't get through) then I would say he finally gave up).

It could be that he was confiding in someone that understood him and didn't seem to have issues that he faced with dealing with you (and I am NOT blaming you..I am just trying to look at it from both sides).

It could also be that he is transferring his deep feelings for you onto her because they are being accepted and possibly reciprocated.

posted June 30, 2005 02:14 PM              

A couple of days before this happened I blocked him from my AIM account and kept my ringer off to try to avoid him. Why? Because all I could think of was being with him and it made me feel weak. He finally got to me and made me love him.

So I told him what I did and the reasons why and naturally he flipped out asking me if I knew how hard it was for him to go 1 day without speaking to me and yada yada.

I started to tell him we shouldn't talk as much (didnt mean that either)
If I can remember, we've been talking since March or something (seems longer I guess since we never missed a day speaking, he is also the man I was referring to in the "sleeping on the phone" thread in free for all, it got so bad that neither one of us could sleep without the other being on the phone)

He told me a couple of weeks before this that another one of his "friends" wanted to explore something with him and he said no mainly because of me, I nonchalantly said, "you should've went for it, why not?"(Ofcourse that was a damned lie too)

posted June 30, 2005 03:16 PM            

Hmmmm...I know exactly what you did - because I have done it on a lesser amount in the past to keep people at a distance. It is as if you set up a moat, around the castle, that is protected by the wall, that hides the bars on the windows, so no one can find the door into the basement...where you hide your trueself.

It is called alientation and it is a way to protect yourself from being vulnerable. That is common in people who have trusted before only to be hurt immensely.

Setting up "tests", "traps" and outright "self-sabotage" allows you to get hurt and then say "See, I knew he would hurt me, he failed like everyone else".

If you look closer at your life - you will find that you do that in ALL you friendships / relationships (again, I know this from experience). I used to find friends / boyfriends, that had huge flaws or that I knew could never get past the walls I built up, then when it didn't work I would feel righteous yet let down. All the time I knew I did it myself...and a great counselor pointed it out to me.

In actuality we are being immature, making people go through those tests and trip-wires. Think of the damage inflicted on them when they bare their souls to us and we don't have the guts to give it back.

Put yourself in his shoes... if someone did that to you- the IM blocking, telling you to go out and screw someone, and other things, you would feel hurt, angry and frustated. You would ask yourself 'Why is this person trying to hurt me?"

The first step is opening up... just a little bit. Call him up or talk to him and say "Hey, I understand your decision. I know that I caused a fair amount of damage with my games. I have been hurt before and trying to allow someone close to my heart is terrifying to me. Please understand that I didn't want to hurt you or push you away."

If he responds and wants to work on it make sure you let him know you can only open up in baby steps. Keep in mind that it is still a gamble. Just because we open up doesn't mean it will be a bed of roses.. you may still get that heart of yours bruised, but you will be stronger in the long run.

Part of my push-pull with Mr. Taurus is that being vulnerable was (and still is) difficult to me. I had to learn to tear down the castle walls, fill in the moat, permenantly lower the draw-bridge before I even entertained the thought of merging with someone. Still, he had to be patient and in the process we discovered many of his own issues too.

posted June 30, 2005 03:59 PM              

LOL

posted June 30, 2005 04:07 PM            

quote: Works for a contrary
Aqua but not a cancer..

posted June 30, 2005 04:11 PM              

Now I understand why you and I clashed these past few times, we are too much alike.

You won't like this, but Tranquil Poet is a young version of you. She truly is. It's amazing how the both of you just appeared out of nowhere and really took the time out to make me feel better.
I know you guys want to bite eachother's heads off, so I'll drop it

So, pidaua, in our last IM conversation I told him, "well since we won't really be speaking anymore here's my grand speach.I can tell you the truth now, since it won't matter.
"the truth is, I was falling in love with you and wanted to discover how real my feelings were. I had this desire to make you happy. I want you to be happy"
He typed nothing for a lil while.
I typed, "well, don't I get an applause?"
he typed "clapping" LoL, so then I went on to wish him luck with his brother (he's donating a kidney to him in the next month or so)and that everything works out fine. He goes "that's how you're ending it?" LoL Then I said "above all of this foolishness, your brothers health is most important (which was one thing I actually DID mean (ok beebuddy? LoL) from the bottom of my heart and I told him I'd miss him, with no response to that I logged off.
An hour later I logged back on, he logged on, IMed me saying hi and I had to fight my hands, to not respond. After a few minutes he logged off. This was all the day before yesterday.

Anyway, after that I flew off the handle and changed my number and blocked his emails, AIM, and yahoo im, from like every single account I own.I need time.

Plus he found someone else already, you know?