posted August 24, 2005 01:43 PM              

Pixie, meet Pixie ...

posted August 24, 2005 02:45 PM              

How about signing off as 'Funky AQ' for short?? That sounds like a cool aquarian...
Hip, distinct yet different!

posted August 25, 2005 10:06 PM              

I've been where you are, though, withouth having Children involved. I was with an abusive person, more mental than physical.

I didn't think anything could take down a Lioness, but it happened. I lost my direction, my confidence, everything I had to keep me stable. I know what it's like to get torn down.

You HAVE to get OUT! Try to bring your children, have the police involved if you must. The one thing I know is that when we need it the most, our Roar is right there. in our tears, in our pain and in our faith- the one thing we have is our voice, tell your story, tell the WORLD and let NO ONE silence you. Tell your children you love them more than ANYTHING- I know a lioness worships her cubs! And tell the authorities what is going on- and, believe it or not, you need help, they will understand.

Leos have great pride, and a wonderous sense of humility when the need it. Tell the authorities you need their help. Please.

posted August 29, 2005 05:31 PM              

I really did'nt think it was a self esteem issue. For example if you don't use drugs and someone like your husband is degrading you. It makes you sad and not want tell people what he's doing to you. Because of the implication of drug use it almost makes you feel like no one will help you or believe you.

It bothers me to even contemplate whats going on in his stupid little brain. I do know to defend it, it is also degrading. because then you have take several positions and none of which proves anything. Oh and his other favorite complaint is that I'm nasty. I'm not, I've studied sanitation, sterilization and bacterilogy. I'm very clean when I cook, clean-up, or anything else for that matter. See how stupid defending this kind of stuff is? But again I'm working with a nut case here whose trying to degrade me anyway he can. We have 3 children and I'm the bread winner.

I need to know if I'm goign to find a job soon? this recession has really got me down. i need money to leave this jerko and get back into school. I'm planning on apply to nursing school next fall after I finish my prerequisites. does anyone see a job in my near future? 7/30/66 born in detroit, michigan at around 9:30 or so. i believe I have a virgo rising, I usually read Susan miller's monthly astology at astrologyzone.com

Thanks

posted August 29, 2005 06:02 PM            

If something happens to his mom (and you are still there), beware his wrath against you (if he is that kind of person).

I know it's hard to leave. I am doing that now and I don't have kids. Still I am with someone that is abusive (and has been for awhile) as well as passive / aggressive. There is drug use, but not narcotics and it's on his end.

Like your guy, mine likes to play word games and gets into that nit-picky degrading crap. (Insinuating that I am not cleaning the house right - even though he sits on his lazy rear while playing on the computer). His word games almost always fall on deaf ears or I slam him back being that I am a Saggie... so a battle of wit is nothing for me (and I have that Aries moon temper plus Virgo rising sharp tongue) He's a Taurus.

I would suggest you start your planning now - I don't know if nursing school is in the cards at this time (Didn't you just say you are the breadwinner but you're out of work?) Maybe look into getting a job, getting a place (if you can't live with family or friends) and then get out of there.

Once you are settled (or when you can afford it) then start looking into school. You need to keep something in mind - if you want custody of your kids they are going to look at EVERYTHING... that includes how much time you can spend with them.

You can point to your hubby as an unsafe parent to have custody of the kids and document all that he has done (but you will need to make police complaints if he is hurting you or the kids).

Point to the fact that you can provide a healthy environment (and that if you have custody you aren't just leaving them with sitters).

Has anyone else seen the bruises on your kids? Is there any documentation? Will they testify against him during the custody battle?

I would make a list of everything that is going on and what needs to be done (kind of like a timeline).

posted August 30, 2005 12:26 AM              

ANd a word about Saggies. They cherish their sense of freedom like we do our sense of Royalty or of being Center Stage. My Guess is that he may have turned to the drugs as an escape from "Capture" and settlement. Like when we are being dethroned or shoved stage left. But the thing about drugs, what addicts tend to forget, is that they tend to take over a persons life if they are not careful or under-informed.

Just to let y'all know I'm not, ENTIRELY, pulling this out me bum, I'm a child of a person in Recovery (AA) and I'm also a licensed Minister.

I've learned that it sometimes takes an 8.2 Lifequake to wake someone up from the dreamland drugs create. When someone finds that the people they once cherished in their lives are either distancing themselves or even falling ill around them, An addict MAY- JUST MAY... Possibly, see that as a red-alert and try to figure out what happened while they were asleep.

THis has been a part of my particular education, MY understanding of the steps TO recovery... I must stress that I am NOT telling to do or not do anything.

I know you love this person, and ending a relationship is not something Leos like seeing in their "Luke and Laura" Soap-like lives.

But the Show must go on. Its sweeps week and you have to work to keep your character on the show for as long as YOU can! work the script as best you can, you have more controll than you think... Certainly more than your Co-star would let you believe!

Just focus on the audience and the members of the cast you like working with (Children) and do what you can with/for them!

posted September 05, 2005 04:38 PM              

The Leos always thought the guy would change or they would have a baby, or would read romance novels. The Scorpios would plan to break their guy out of prison and run with him. I didn't meet any Gemini or Libra women there, but I did meet women who couldn't talk, couldn't fight, or resist, they were just worn out.

Everyone makes mistakes.

Can the children go somewhere safe while you plan? It may make sense emotionally to be together but is that good for them or for you? Be honest, it hurts to be separated but it may be best for the short term.

Have you thought about getting a court order to keep him out of the house? Why do you have to leave? Did you know a study said that women who leave suffer more financially than when they made the man leave? Men can usually support themselves better than women can, on their own suddenly, if you think about it.

Couldn't you get a restraining order and then include the house where you live? The police will order him to leave if you show a danger, it means going to court for one hour and telling a judge why, but after that he will be subdued and leave.

I had to do this with a LIbra, not all Libras are nice. He showed up at court, but the night before terroized me by threatening revenge if I showed up. I did anyway and he was very apologetic, and ending up leaving nicely.

If I had left he would have stayed in our house while I paid the mortgage, $1800 US a month. As it was I had to let him live in the basement with electricity and heat for a long time before he could find a place, but he still left. Now I have sold both homes, and recently ended another relationship with a Gemini where he wanted me out of town. I stayed in town, after realizing I would have to spend thousands to leave immediately as he would like. Used to getting his way he used every means to threaten me and push me into leaving.

Each time if I had left town, or left the scene suddenly I would have lost everything I worked for when these were my homes, I paid for, the Libra never paid a dime of down payment.

Confusion is part of the game, you need to set the pace and use some of that famous Leo courage. Where do you want to be in five years?

Start setting the pace for your own agenda. And even if you are renting and it's in his name,
guess what? If he abused you, it's stil legal to force him out.

Your women's help center offers free legal counsel and someone to go to court with you.
My ex also tried extortion afterwards and I threatened him with the police, the women's center had a police officer just for these cases. She said many men tried to secretly blackmail their ex wives or g/f for money, by using the threat of physical violence over the phone or in person, or threatening to show photos or hurt her family.

They had a center where you could report this even months later and a police officer, a female one, would contact him.

Nothing else worked for me.

BTW your Sag, is born the same day as my sister, and same year. That means he has Neptune conjunct his Mercury and Sun most likely. With Neptune aspects this increases drug and alcohol use, and it's always a danger. My sister is still an alcoholic and drinking is always a danger, since she can't keep away. Even though she works around the clock, she slips up once in a while.

She is still very verbally abusive, and argumentative, while refusing to deal with financial realities. Her husband is a Scorpio/Sag rising who is like a rock to her.

My ex also had Neptune conjunct Mercury, and Mercury in Scorpio. The gemini had pisces rising trine neptune.

I personally would advise getting involved with any man with strong neptune aspects until you are very well grounded and have what you need materially. Men are just not grown up yet with Pisces/Neptune aspects, it's romance not a relationship, not for a long time anyway. I am dating a Cancer with Saturn in Pisces, but his Saturn is in the 10th house. Still he needs a lot of time to adjust to the realities of commitment.

I have Venus in the 5th in Aries, Sag/1st house rising, and Taurus Sun. I am a magnet for men who are less than strong, and I know what I am talking about.

Do not raise another child.

Ask yourself what would happen if you simply changed the locks? and he went away? would you really miss him? Do not think about the arguements, ask yourself if you stop seeing him?
If you do throw him out, nothing could be worse than this, waiting and not knowing. And you have your sisters here and everywhere to see you through this.

I promise once he is gone life will be sweeter, slowly at first and then better and better everyday.

In the future be very careful of liars, or anyone who lies to you even about small things.

Hugs,
Natasha