posted January 12, 2006 01:21 AM            

Hmmmm... objectifying women to crazy and controversial lengths? Not sure to be honest. How would that manifest?

posted January 12, 2006 05:33 AM              

I CAN’T stand it!!! It makes my skin crawl.

posted January 12, 2006 05:44 AM              

Come home after a long day,wife comes in after you,grab her from behind rip her clothes off pin her down a,jump onto her and....you get the picture,I dont know,I just prefer being on top of things...

posted January 12, 2006 05:55 AM              

It's really odd, but you get one bright, masterful man after the next writing to you. The ones who are up for a challenge, and who aren't afraid of a strong woman.

The majority of your doms are doms because they fear women and need one they can control. But the ones I'm getting now are the ones who are truely confident and aren't trying to compensate.

I seem do be drawing them, because they can't get a hold over me, and there is nothing the alpha-male finds more desirable than a woman he can't hold.

posted January 12, 2006 01:42 PM            

I was just telling a friend of mine.. I like to be somewhat submissive in bed.. I am a Sag Sun / Aries Moon / Venus in Sag with Pluto on the Ascendant.

Needless to say, I am a very strong woman. I recently had a break up and the person wondered if it had affected me.. I let him know, yes it did.. but I hold back certain feelings because that is just my way. I did choke up a bit, which spoke volumes to him.. but still.. my outer shell is pretty damn tough - yet there is still a vulnerablity present.

I have a very high sex drive and when I am in a relationship I require alot of activity. Being a strong woman and working in mostly male dominated fields, I like a stronger man that can deal with my fierceness.. it makes me feel more "woman-like"

I know that may sound odd.. but I have encounted numerous males that are intimidated by my education / intelligence / and looks. Some turn out to be total cave men (ew) or these pip squeaks that want me to play mommy. (ew).

When talking to my friend he said "wow..I am surprised by some of the things you talk about in bed".

I said "I came from positions where I worked with very strong men. In the boardroom I had to bust their balls. In business dealings I had to prove that I was feminine, yet strong. There is something exhilirating about being with a man that has a handle on his masculinity in bed".

Then again.. I am just as apt to jump on him when I get home too LOL....

I was with one man that couldn't deal with me intitiating sex at all. He was a wonderful lover and I really enjoyed being with him for the time we spent. I just couldn't handle that he had to ALWAYS be in charge.

posted January 12, 2006 07:59 PM              

BDSM

BD- bondage and domination
DS- domination and submission
SM- sadism and masochism

posted January 12, 2006 08:19 PM              

I had read your original post, so this will be in response to it.

From what I have inferred from your postings here, you're a very independent woman and willing to explore a lot of non-traditional, and complicated methods when it comes to relationships. Your attachments and perspectives to these methods change, so this is how I know they are methods, and not truly values.

You tend to put a monetary value on future relationship potential, and for your own career. I don't think the current said Cancer Sun gentleman is the first you speak of in this regard.

In my opinion, I think you may initially agree to a little bit, test, feel, whatever, then an inspiration will come to you and you will change your mind because the situation doesn't live up to the new inspiration.

The proposition from the Cancer Sun doesn't really fit who you are as a person, simply because it isn't open to flights of inspiration you may encounter from time to time. Which I suppose, is much like the life of an artist.

posted January 12, 2006 08:40 PM              

I do have certain values regarding family, a man must be close to his, and respect the women in his family and mine, we must have similar goals in life and that includes being able to see each other regularly. That seems to be a sticking point if one of us travels for work, and so finances can be an issue.

The testing part, and the financial part are separate, but I do value a man who is patient with me for up to a year before insisting on a sexual bond to prove my loyalty. That is something I value very highly because love depends on trust for me. My heart opens slowly, even if I am open to inspiration.

I do not encourage my Cancer friend to be open sexually with me, he comes up with this on his own, and I do not want to set limits on his imagination because he is resistant to anyone telling him what to think or say. I can limit how much time we spend together if his interest is a bit obsessive and I am good at tuning into that.

My questions are more for myself. I have expressed my love and affection for this man by being there for him, and he has to have faith in the emotional bond between two people, at least he says he does.

My insecurity comes from his incredibly strong belief that a woman who is submissive to a man is loyal, faithful, trusting, and loyal, and a woman who is argumentative is unfaithful and not worth his time. My question for myself and for you, is being submissive part of being in love?

If I am naturally submissive in love because all people are, then am a fighting an illusion of independence? If so is my insecurity that I do not believe he is truly in love with me because of his cautious nature, and I want to know why it's not so simple to receive love at this time in my life. Is it his age, does he make me feel old because we are similar? And am I attracted to younger men usually because of insecurity?

These are questions that come to me when I ought to be loving him.

If another person has ever found themselves questioning their love, and at the same time, believing in it, then that's how I feel. It's draining to be so split.

Is this the Gemimi/7th house nature to refuse obvious love and affection

Natasha

posted January 12, 2006 09:58 PM              

See? Complicated

Oh, I wasn't meaning that you were encouraging his fancies. I was really talking about how he said he wanted the personality of submissive woman, and how it doesn't really seem to fit who you are, as you are truly a walking inspiration and have dreams. Someone who challenges herself and seeks to understand the whys and hows of another person. Some people would call that dominant, argumentative, whatever. Just labels, it's the true meaning in the message that gets lost and it's frustrating.

I agree with you on the values you had posted up. It takes time to contemplate, but it is totally worth it to have some parts ourselves, what we expect from others and life experiences more thought out. Kudos to you.

Truthfully, only you will be able to figure out why you are not spending the time just loving the guy.

So you ask me if I think being submissive is love. I think it depends on the person. There are couples who think that is so, and they are in love. Personally, I am not the submissive type and have my comfort zone in equal partnerships. I like being considerate and have a willingness to compromise. I just can't see myself like being told what to do or having decisions being made for me. I will ask for and/or accept help offered, but wouldn't be comfortable with pressure to accept them. I'm not the type to tell my boyfriend what to do either, and like to ask for input when it comes to choosing things. I don't think I intentionally pressure him to do anything, I offer choices and my own thoughts.

posted January 13, 2006 03:09 AM            

What do I have to deny? Regular stuff. I pursue art less. (You'll never find a Cancer who's not into music, but you'll also not find any Cancers romantically linked to me encouraging my music despite me being quite good. They're just not interested.) I become less of an initiator letting my co-Cardinal counterpart get her way quite often. Cancers like doing things and getting things their way the same as any other Cardinal sun, so there's always a power struggle (and there's always compromise, which can be said to be a certain denial of one's self).

With regard to the nasty as$ porn, I'm nothing like your guy. I do like porn, mind you, but I'm SO not into the ugly stuff. It's offends my sensibilities. I'm too idealistic and artistic to get into the rude stuff. I even have a really difficult time with rude people in general.

To go further, astrologically I've got Saturn in the first house (in Gemini as a matter of fact), so that lends discipline straight to my ego. I'm also very image conscious. I grew up wanting to be a pastor, and was disciplined within myself enough as a teenager to be celebate despite being practically a tan, blond god due to my water polo playing.

So purity and discipline are cool, but they're not things I'm overly concerned about within myself. My chart may indicate a slightly odd sexuality, but there are still limits to what I'm willing to get into, and still loads I've never done.

Everyone else,

I'm totally not into submissives. I want equality or nothing. Submissive lovers grow boring and tiresome too quickly. I can't have anyone too needy.

sthenri,

quote:

---

My insecurity comes from his incredibly strong belief that a woman who is submissive to a man is loyal, faithful, trusting, and loyal, and a woman who is argumentative is unfaithful and not worth his time. My question for myself and for you, is being submissive part of being in love?

---

Heck no!!! His incredibly strong belief is just wrong. Sure one can witness seemingly loyal female partners who are submissive and cow to dominating males, but being submissive does not equal being loyal.

Taureans are perhaps the most loyal sun sign of all. I've said it before, you guys are like mafia. Once you're in with a Taurus you are a part of the family and there's little that Taurus won't do for you. Observing Taureans it's clear that you can have someone who will challenge, argue, and stand up for themselves all while being completely loyal to the relationship. I've never lost a Taurus friend over an argument. Actually, I may have never lost a Taurus friend period.

You can also look to the reason women cheat on their boyfriends or husbands. Isn't it often the case that the husband isn't paying enough attention to them, or giving them the wrong kind of attention? I think a husband who's expecting a submissive partner is really neglecting the woman in a fundamental way.

That's my take.

posted January 13, 2006 04:00 AM              

Don't you also have that married guy after you who claims he just want's to be "friends?"

posted January 13, 2006 06:39 AM              

The best kind is when the girl is kinda strong and the you make her submit,thats is very satisfying...