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Author Topic:   How's Your North Node Progress Going?
astro junkie
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posted February 28, 2006 12:24 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
You know, in general they say our South Node's "personality" is something we all come in to this life having known already. And then the North Node is where we are going, and helps determine the lessons we need to learn.

The SN and NN are exact opposites. It seems to me this would make us inherently dual in nature, as we grow further away from what we "know" in order to understand the flip side.

This excerpt popped out at me :::

"...The North Node represents the area of life we've chosen to develop in this lifetime. It can cause insecurity since we don't know all the answers and the potential to make mistakes is high..."

Keeping the above in mind, my question is, how are you doing so far?

Do you feel like your progress is good? Do you think your NN makes you feel insecure at times? Has your potential to make mistakes been high in this regard?

PS: It takes 18 1/2 years for a "Lunar Node Return" to occur.


(Source for above quote: www.circlesoflight.com/astrology-articles/nodes.shtml

------------------
... it's better to light a candle than curse the darkness

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Isolaede
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Posts: 15
From: Sunny CA
Registered: May 2009

posted February 28, 2006 12:56 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Isolaede     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
South Node is Aries in the 4th house.
Aries = Independent, do it yourself, competitive survivalist.
4th house = home

North node is in Libra in the 10th house.
Libra = Diplomat, negotiator, empathic, sees themselves through others eyes, works with others, places importance on relationships.
10th house = duty also restriction.

I’m supposed to be learning to be a Diplomat, negotiator, empathic, sees themselves through others eyes, works with others and the way I’ll do this is by focusing on my duties and shrugging off my restrictions.

Since my Pluto is also in Libra I interpret this to mean that my transformations from my south node to my north will come through my relationships and through my duties or the dealing with my past restrictions (thanks to that 10th house influence). This has definitely been the case in the past – my biggest life transformations have often occurred in conjunction with the relationships I’ve shared with others.

My relationship with my father pounded out all of the selfishness in my personality while solidifying my need to be independent and always stand on my own two feet. My father was a harsh man, and being raised in that environment made it very important to me to take care of the feelings of others. I had to walk on egg shells around my dad, and was constantly torn down and criticized, so I am now overly accepting of others, empathic, and always try to encourage them. So my father helped me work through parts of my south node, but reinforced others parts. Perhaps that had something to do with my south node being focused in the 4th house of home. My home environment focused some of those South Node energies and helped me work through and purge others from my life.

My romantic relationships have further taught me even more. In early relationships I struggled with a sense of feeling that my hurts were perhaps more important than my partners. I had a hard time saying I was sorry because I always felt like I was the one that was wronged. I was overly idealistic (another Aries trait perhaps), and struggled with extreme disappointment when relationships did not turn out well. I think all of these are fairly Aries traits as they display a somewhat narrow and infantile focus on self. Three long term relationships fraught with trials and pain transformed me. Having loved and lost so many times I can now see how important love is. It’s worth laying aside my pride, worth fighting for, and worth apologizing for.

I’m not completely where I need to be with my Libra development. I think I’ve just about mastered the diplomatic, empathic, and congeal aspects of my North Node. But I still need to work on my pride and on minute traces of selfishness that still lingers in intimate relationships. I also have a long way to go when it comes to overcoming my self reliance. I know I’m the person I can always depend on so it’s extremely hard for me to look to others for help. I’d rather just do things right the first time by myself.

As for insecurities – I think the only insecurity I might receive from my North node would be a tenancy to base too much of my self esteem on the opinions of others. This was 100% worse when I was a child, but it still lingers in smaller ways in my adult life. Rejection wounds me, and I can’t stand it when people think ill of me. I work over time to always be liked, and feel like a lesser person if I fail to ingratiate myself to others.

I hope this answers your question, AJ. : )

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neval3000
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posted February 28, 2006 01:07 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
astrojunkie;

my north node leo in 8 th house..but i dont know this topic so actually i dont know the relation...so i dont relate my self..

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nove731
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From: Strasbourg, France
Registered: Jun 2009

posted February 28, 2006 02:52 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for nove731     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I always have a really hard time with the North Node.

The reason?

I have my North Node in Aquarius. That's all fine and dandy, but it sits right in the middle of my 5th House.

It's...a total dichotomy in my opinion.

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pixelpixie
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From: ON Canada
Registered: Apr 2009

posted February 28, 2006 03:06 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for pixelpixie     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I have been thinking a lot about this lately.
My NN is in Scorpio, in my fourth house(IC), conjunct some very erratic planets to have in my fourth house to begin with.. ( Sun, Mars, Uranus)
It is a challenge any way you look at it.... one that I am lead back to in insecure moments. But I keep on trucking.
And, further bending the mysticism and accuracy of Astrology, my tenth house (MC)is where my south node is, in Taurus, my opposite. My Jupiter retrograde is there, conjunct my Part of Fortune.
This makes total sense, in relation to the things I must learn and how contrary they are as lessons tend to be. And the planet's energy seems to be erratic yet fitting.

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Hexxie
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posted February 28, 2006 03:21 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hi astrology junkie! I have a very active north nodule. It's was in Scorpio when I was birthed, in my 5th house. It is conjunct my Pars Fortunae exactly, and also conjunct my Uranus & Venus. Opposed my Chiron.

How am I doing...hmmm ok I guess. Not spectacular though. It's like I can see what i'd like to do, which is something creative and magical and imaginative and my very own. As in creating something, i.e. Feng Shui environment or being part of the movie making process, i.e. doing make-up. But the insecurity is definitly noticible! Very much so! So I do these things that I mentioned above as a hobby, but not for a living. I often wonder if my hobbies will eventually shift to be my career or if they are meant to be just that, hobbies! It can be hard to just accept things as they are sometimes heh.

------------------
`Who are you?' said the Caterpillar. This was not an encouraging opening for a conversation. Alice replied, rather shyly, `I--I hardly know, sir, just at present-- at least I know who I WAS when I got up this morning, but I think I must have been changed several times since then.'
~Lewis Carroll

:::Libra Sun / 29* Gemini Rising / Aquarius Moon:::

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chrissymgreen
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posted February 28, 2006 04:08 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
nove731, i have that same placement -- NN in aqua conjunct venus (5°) on the 5th cusp. it IS a bit of a dichotomy, isn't it? incidentally, shirley maclaine has this placement, too.

the way i figure it, NN in aquarius is about learning that actions must be motivated by a desire to bring about humanitarian change rather than a desire to receive personal praise for your efforts. in 5th house, this would mean learning humanitarianism in one's creative efforts, in love affairs, with children perhaps.

really, the nodes in the leo-aquarius axis are all about creative expression versus group efforts/social relationships. ego vs the group, basically. and that our nodes are placed in the 5th-11th house axis to boot, well, that just reinforces that theme for us.

the sign aquarius is also associated with the higher mind, and leo with emotional expression. the drama & the critic. with NN in aqua in the 5th, there is an emphasis on using the higher mind to give perspective to the emotions.

about the opposite house/sign...remeber the house is the field of operation, and the sign is the way of operation.

i dont know if my NN progress is good. i know that i spend a good deal of time focusing on my NN due to my ve-NN conjunction. ive grown away from thinking that the NN is good and the SN is bad. i think the key is balance (there goes my libra ascendant). i have read that when planets are on the NN the soul is strongly focused in that direction, and i definitely believe this to be true for myself given the conjunction. however, at some point in life, i believe the need to recapture the SN becomes present (to attain balance) and requires one to go the other direction for a time (the south node direction)...it is as if the nodes are reversed then and the NN acts like a SN, and vice versa.

the bottom line with the nodes, at least the way I see it, is that the goal is to reach 'perfect' balance between the extremes and transcend the duality between them. so we start from the SN, move to the NN, and aim at uniting both following that.


chrissy


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Touchstone
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posted February 28, 2006 07:54 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
The North Node has been my favourite topic this week. Zala's great thread has really opened my eyes and I've been doing a lot of deep thinking about it.

My North Node is in Capricorn in the 1st house (conjunct my Ascendant).

This all makes total sense to me now. All my life I have wanted to be nurtured and protected but have never felt that I was getting the nurturing I craved.
I felt left out as a child and was forced to grow up too quick. My sensitive feelings were openly ridiculed by others so I learned to hide them. I was not very close to my parents though I wanted to be.

I now understand that in this lifetime, I will not get the nurturing from parents, family and outside sources because it has been blocked to make me work towards my NN goal.

My south node is in Cancer in 7th, I guess making me want to fall back on others for support and giving way to what other people want instead of standing up for myself.

Interestingly, I have a moon-saturn conjunction in 4th house which I now believe is there to purposefully make it hard for me to carry on with south node behaviours. I know that I will never get sympathy from my family because I never have done so I no longer try.

I see my goal as striving to be independent and in charge of my own destiny. To rely on my inner strength and live by my own standards. To have something tangible to achieve (outside the home environment) and to learn self-respect, discipline.

I can find a new source of nurturing, if I am succesful. This will come from within as a result of positive feelings from achieving.

I have stopped comfort-eating and have lost half a stone (7 pounds) in weight so am feeling very positive right now. My first achievement! Hopefully, it will soon be a whole stone.

I am getting 30 minutes on the bike in each day. I was a former couch-potato.

I have been assertive at work, demanding more training, and getting it. I also made contributions to a meeting instead of hiding at the back!

I am learning to say 'no' rather than feel guilty and trapped by others.

I feel positive about the future. A big goal will be coming off my anti-depressants (been on them since 2001 so a long time!).

This is all a 'work in progress' but I feel like the penny has dropped if you know what I mean. I feel like the way has been highlighted for the very first time in my life and I finally have an idea what direction I should travel in. It's great.

I can't stress how much I have loved this week!

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Ausra
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posted March 01, 2006 12:29 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hi Isolaede - i have the same placement as you. NN Libra 10th/SN Aries 4th.
Even better and more fun is that my sun is in Aries too, conjuct SN, and opp NN. Pluto also in Libra/10 is opp Venus Aries 3/4.

Needless to say I think that I am always torn. I feel like I actually have to sacrifice myself. I go from one exreme to the other. The more I follow my inner drive the further I get from my goals and visa versa.

I have found that I am actually merging the 2 together. eg working from home (10/4), beginning to utilise family members talents to secure financial security (4/10).

I've had massive upheavels in my life, that usually come out of the blue - usually involving close relationships and sudden illness. These have altered both my work life/close relations with others, and my home life and relationship with myself.

I often feel that I am not good enough at work, possibly because I am always put as a negotiator for others problems (NN). When I am in a bad state, I usually go home and cry 'what about me' (SN/Aries).

I don't really feel like I am progressing, I think I have become better at balancing on a see-saw. Which after just typing is a perfect analogy for NN libra.

("damn damn damn" - Aries Sun)

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astro junkie
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posted March 01, 2006 01:07 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
..... Ooooooh ....


This thread is getting juicy.

Again, gotta catch some ZZZZ's, and will be back tomorrow night to focus in on this more ...

Thanks for responding!

------------------
... it's better to light a candle than curse the darkness

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WaterNymph
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posted March 01, 2006 06:12 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
PS: It takes 18 1/2 years for a "Lunar Node Return" to occur.

I thought mine was just really slow it’s conj by 2 deg ( trans-wise )

As for my NN it’s in Cancer in the 4th. Which means my SN is Capricorn in the 10th. I’m very career oriented. That comes first…I find it very difficult to put my career in the back seat and focus on marriage and home - or whatever the hell I’m suppose to focus on.

I feel extremely insecure letting go of my career and living my life as…a homebody. I take pride in my education. Maybe I need to let go of that.

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shop22much
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posted March 01, 2006 06:15 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for shop22much     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
considering im surrounded by taurus people, its been going pretty good- i feel myself growing out of my scorpio tendencies....shedding of the skin passage...

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Happy Dragon
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posted March 01, 2006 08:05 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
NN 05.54 Aquarius retrograde .. 7th ..
i read one interpretation .. cannot relate to much of it .. although i wouldn't know what 'retrograde' may do to influence any interpretation ..
currently and for the past couple of weeks .. transiting Saturn is conjunct by close orb to my natal South Node .. and .. transiting Chiron be conjunct to my natal North Node .. ..
as for the post 'query' .. maybe after the transit is over i'll have a clue .. so far i must have been a bad student .. don't think i'll be getting any nodal diplomas just yet ...
would like to say more about that transit .. many thoughts .. no words to realy match .. to say that it doesn't feel good would be an understatement .. .. at least Chiron is in speedy mode .. and separating ..
just read this off that posted link ... " The down side of this is that the South Node can be like a comfy old sweater, too small, full of holes, not really presentable." ... well i just happen to like comfy old sweaters .. .. not the shrunken ones though .. i guess it's just tough **** for the nodes .. north south east or west ..

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proxieme
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posted March 01, 2006 08:14 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
HD - Retrograde is the normal motion of a NN.

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GemStar
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posted March 01, 2006 08:29 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Has anyone had the experience of transiting Pluto conjuncting their NNode? If so, please share....

My NNode is in Taurus and conjunct my Venus and Juno. Located in the 7th house...and I love it! People are important to me and perhaps part of my lesson is to learn to rely on them more...my South Node is quite independent (Scorp 1st house) so it is often difficult to ask for other's help. While I so enjoy giving, it has been a challenge to allow others to give to me without me feeling obligated to repay them somehow.

Relationships have been pretty great for me though I tend to be quite particular with regard to people I choose to be around. The NNode in this placement also seeks enjoyment and strength with others...and that I do!! Having 7th h Ceres nearby also assists with attracting people who feel cared about by me....so I think my Nodal Path is right on target!!

Recently, I bought a used Jan Spiller book on Nodes...and it is really fantastic!! She has the best insights for understanding the path of your Node. What a find!!

Pluto transits anyone?

GemStar

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Happy Dragon
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posted March 01, 2006 08:35 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
*proxieme*
cheers for that .. no i didn't know .. i've not realy paid much attention to the nodal subject .. obviously .. and to think i've been looking at charts and not noticed it .. oh krappola .. maybe its part of the transit .. lessons to learn ..
and i've just figured that Chiron and Saturn will hanging around for most of the year .. .. maybe it's time to disconnect from the internet and take a junk boat to bora bora .. .. don't know that i can take 12 months of this .. ..

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thunderspirit
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posted March 01, 2006 12:43 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for thunderspirit     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
I always have a really hard time with the North Node.

The reason?

I have my North Node in Aquarius. That's all fine and dandy, but it sits right in the middle of my 5th House.

It's...a total dichotomy in my opinion.



Similarly, my NN is in Aires, but in the 7th house. Like you, the dichotomy confuses the daylights out of me too.

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astro junkie
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posted March 01, 2006 11:50 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Wow - this is so insightful ... interesting how some seem to struggle with it, and a couple of others feel like they are right on time ...


Isolaede -

It's so interesting to me that you actually consider the challenges with your father to have given you a push in the right direction! So many people would see that as much more of a negative, allowing it to drag us down, or backwards.

I think that says a lot about your past SN lessons in Aries in the 4th, at the same time, being pulled by a diplomatic-seeking Libra NN in the 10th which is determined to benefit and succeed.


nove731 and chrissymgreen -

I could listen to you all day since my NN/SN are opposite yours, (not in same Houses though). It's comforting to me to know you've already "experienced" the place I'm heading towards. I cannot imagine how having yours in their "Opposite Houses" must complicate things!


pixelpixie -

You really do have a complex Chart. You're theme seems to be about your homefront, if I may say so. I have a big 4th House theme in my life too. How do you think that MC Conjunct your SN plays into it? Could this contribute to your need to sort of get out of the house to party and sing in the band?


Hexxie -

I love the keywords you used for a NN in Scorpio in the 5th - "creative and magical" and you name things which have that "Feng Shui, movie-making, make-up. Maybe your MC Sign & House will provide a clue as to whether those hobbies will turn into career... But anyways, when you said "It can be hard to just accept things as they are sometimes" - don't I know it! You said a mouthfull there...


Touchstone -

I'm glad of your progress. What you said regarding your NN/SN is so true to your progress.


Ausra -

For those of you with a Sun Conjunct your SN, it must be difficult because no matter what, you fall back into that SN. It makes sense that you're not going to fight it and you are "merging the 2 together". I think it's funny that when you are in a bad state, you go home and cry "what about me". I mean that in the best way... it's good that you can just pinpoint it right away and then purge it. For me, my emotions will whell up and build up and it takes a while before I can pinpoint what it's about in order to purge and be fresh again. Also, since my NN is in Leo, I'm struggling with the "what about me"...


WaterNymph -

Would it be too simplistic to assume you have an easy cut-and-dry NN/SN task? They are in the natural Houses, and by the way you describe it, you are comfortable in knowing exactly what you need to do. It may still be a challenge to do it, but it seems like at least you understand the mission!


shop22much -

Good for you! "Shedding of the skin passage". I LIKE IT!!!


Happy Dragon -

I'm not getting any "nodal diplomas just yet" EITHER!!! And that excerpt you posted from that link was the other thing that popped out at me too, the same exact thing. I'm into my comfy old sweater, holes and all as well...


Gemstar -

Having a NN in Taurus in the 7th in itself sounds delicious, as the 7th House Rules Venus, and Venus Rules Taurus. But to also have that NN Conjunct your Natal Venus? No wonder you feel so comfortable with it.

------------------
... it's better to light a candle than curse the darkness

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Hexxie
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posted March 02, 2006 12:13 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hi astro junkie~ Thanks for the 'check-up' and then the response! You said in reply to what I had written: "Maybe your MC Sign & House will provide a clue as to whether those hobbies will turn into career..."

Well, I have a Pisces MC and Neptune in Sagi squared that point. So things are 'hazy' to say the least. I always ask for guidance and if i'm on the right track so I shan't worry tooo much!

------------------
`Who are you?' said the Caterpillar. This was not an encouraging opening for a conversation. Alice replied, rather shyly, `I--I hardly know, sir, just at present-- at least I know who I WAS when I got up this morning, but I think I must have been changed several times since then.'
~Lewis Carroll

:::Libra Sun / 29* Gemini Rising / Aquarius Moon:::

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jkxx
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posted March 02, 2006 01:56 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
GemStar,

I have my NN in Taurus in the 4th house too. I've never lived in a stable home environment/had any reasonable degree of comfort at "home", although home would mean a half a dozen places around the world.

Glad to hear relationships have worked out well for you, it's mostly been a nightmare for me, not sure if that's from the NN though. I do have great difficulty relaxing or feeling comfortable in any situation, and there seems to be no solution to that in sight. My NN is making a tight opposition to Saturn, which is conjunct the SN in scorpio. So far what I've read on that hasn't been thrilling.

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GemStar
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posted March 02, 2006 03:27 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hello jkxx-

The book I referred to above by Jan Spiller is called "Astrology for the Soul". It is a recent purchase and I really was amazed at the insight. Many of the lessons I feel I have learned and others still are being worked on. Maybe these two lists will offer some ideas for you to consider in your development and Saturn is asking you to find more structure:

Attributes to develop NNode in Taurus:

Loyalty
Awareness of Boudaries
Taking things one step at a time
A sense of Self-Worth
Awareness of personal values
Patience
Honoring expressed needs of self and others
Enjoying the Five physical senses
Gratitude
Awareness of nurturing from Mother Earth
Forgiveness
Persistence

Tendencies to Leave behind:

Attraction to crisis situations
Overconcern with other people's business
Impatience
Inappropriate intensity
Judgmental tendencies
Preoccupation w/pshychological motivations of others
Resistance to cooperating with what others want
Overreacting
Destroying something in order to eliminate one part
Obsessive-compulsive tendencies


A few on this list did not ever apply for me but that is probably true of all aspects in astrology. Think on these and discover where you might focus your efforts to improve situations which need a different approach in your Life.

GemStar

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GemStar
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posted March 02, 2006 03:30 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Also, I am REALLY interested in anyone sharing happenings around a Pluto transit to their NNode....anyone??

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tbone
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posted March 02, 2006 03:36 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I have NOrth node in Capricorn. opposite my Sun. Most of my friends have some sort of Cap..in their chart..wheather it be..Moon..or VEnus or Mars.. Everyone i am good friends with has at least One major planet in Cap. i konw i have alot to learn from them.

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GemStar
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posted March 02, 2006 03:39 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
One additional comment...a few of you mentioned South Node thoughts....South node is where we came from in our previous lessons and it is an easy place to snuggle and relax!

However, your path in this lifetime is to move forward, not stagnate! If you can be honest with yourself- Ask yourself the question- Am I too stuck in my past? Do I hang onto issues, dreams, ways of being that are holding me back in certain areas??

Only You will be able to answer this question. Perhaps it is all too easy to look the other way....however, the cost to your own self-growth may be at your own expense!! Happiness in certain areas may elude you if you stay in the comfy zone too long! Consider looking forward instead of back (staying with old habits)... and perhaps then the balance between the NNode and SNode will bring you more gifts than imaginable!!

GemStar

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chrissymgreen
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posted March 02, 2006 04:46 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
dear AJ,

no wonder i always enjoy reading your posts! with your SN in aqua, you're coming from a place i'm heading towards...and vice versa. except that of course, i have that venus-NN conjunction and i really do think this fosters a need to focus on the SN at some point. anyone with a planet conjunct the NN (and no planets on the SN, nor any planets squaring both nodes, that changes things) needs at some point in their lives to go "towards" the SN, in order the attain some sort of balance. a planet on the NN usually means one has spent a good deal of time developing those nn energies in prior lives, if you believe in that sort of thing. me, im not sure on that totally but i am really attracted to the theory of reincarnation. it explains some of the things i feel on a gut level. anyway, if you do have a planet conjunct the NN, youve spent all this time dealing with your NN issues...and that SN is important too, it's important to help you attain balance and enlightenment.

it does get confusing having the nodes in houses opposite from the sign they are in...or however you want to say that. i just try to remember that the house is the field of operation, and the sign is the way of operation. so i need, in order to go toward my NN, to act aquarian. obviously this is way easy for me to do, what with chart ruler venus in aquarius conjunct the NN (and uranus rising). BUT...i need to do this in my 5th house activities. so in my love affairs, in my creative projects, with my children (dont have any actually, probably wont ever, but if i did..), and in my pursuit of pleasure, i NEED to approach these things like an aquarian. when i break it down like that, it seems easy to understand!

listen, i wanted to share something with you that i discovered today. this is a slight deviation from the topic at hand...but i was reading on noel tyl's site earlier and i discovered that he favors mean node over true node. i know the majority of us use true node, because i dont know, everyone does. it seems like the more educated choice, or i thought so anyway. but this is what he says:

The difference between the Mean Node position and the so-called True Node is slight, slight, slight. The latter takes into consideration a "wobble" in the circle intersections (ecliptic and Moon around the Earth), introducing direct and retrograde considerations. The Mean Node measurement adjusts for the wobble and is consistently retrograde.

To my observation and exposure throughout our astrological world, the most prevalent use is of the Mean Node.

Twenty-five years or so ago, software people latched onto the True Node as sounding more scientific, etc. and promoted it strongly, making it the default setting in their software.

The Mean Node is perfect, and presents no problem in considerations whatsoever. It is the Node measurement of choice, in my opinion. --In Solar Arcs the Nodal axis --like all the planets-- advances uniformly in counter-clockwise direction; retrogradation has no role in Solar Arcs.


this amazed me when i checked my arcs. i know that we were discussing this on another thread, about transits to midpoints i think. let me just say for everyone else, i just got noel's book on solar arcs and it is AMAZING. it truly is one of the most effective but SIMPLE to use predictive techniques in astrology!! i love it. LOVE it.

anyway, some lady on noel's forum suggested that just for reference, why dont you check the sabian symbols for both the mean node and true node and see what's up! so i did, and i was totally FLOORED. it is VERY clear to me now that my mean node is what i should have been looking at all along.

check this out, my mean node is at 21 aqua and my true node at 23 aqua. the sabian symbol for 23 aqua did not make that much sense to me compared to how much the symbol for 21 aqua resonated. here it is:

A WOMAN DISAPPOINTED AND DISILLUSIONED, COURAGEOUSLY FACING A SEEMINGLY EMPTY LIFE


THAT sentiment right there is exactly the way i feel about my life. exactly! im not some pessimistic kill joy (i do have moon, jupiter, and neptune in sag), but this statement is something i have always felt privately. especially with my relationships. i have had only 2, and i will be 35 march 19. that george orwell quote, the one where he says, "to some people, love means nothing if it does not mean loving some people more than others," is one i identify with. i dont want to love a whole bunch of people. i want to love only 1. and since a romantic relationship hasnt worked out for me yet, i am often finding myself with a feeling of resignation about being alone. mostly i dont mind, but sometimes i do. in the last year i do, because well, that last relationship i had, the 2nd one, it was *amazing*. that's the one i wanted. unfortunately it didnt work out, and now i will probably have to spend a billion dollars in therapy to get over it.

anyway, back to the arcs in relation to mean node vs true node. i did discover an arc, Neptune=NN (this equation means solar arc neptune had arced into hard aspect with my natal NN), which I had noted would perfect on October 5, 2006. this was using my true node. when i went back to rework the calculations using mean node, i discovered the arc actually perfected on July 26, 2005 -- and this fits my situation so much better!

from SA on Neptune=NN, "Possible breakdown of relationships; sense of being out of the group, or bound together through spiritual sharing."

and last year a couple months before this arc was perfect, wouldn't you know, i experienced that awful breakup with my 2nd relationship!


just thought i'd throw this out there for discussion.


sincerely,
chrissy

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