posted July 09, 2006 02:01 PM              

ScorpioRising, thank you, that means a lot to me and thank you for the reading I will hold onto the positive only.

Son been on phone Dad was gone for 6 hours, said up a mountain but dog was bone dry ! LOL, if you have to lie, cover everything I say, truth will always come out, I have just had shouting match on phone over him not making son a hot meal, he's obviously been well fed and not up to cooking but the frustration I feel makes my blood boil, told son to keep his chin up as it wont be long till I get him, he's going to collapse I'm sure of it cause when I was living on my nerves there, I felt very strange when I no longer had to, was so used to being on edge the whole time that I was a complete emotional wreck when I should have felt so happy and free, aren't we strange lot.

Anyway to put the icing on the top of my cake my hot flushes are in overdrive, I know too much info, LOL.

Lots of love

posted July 09, 2006 08:12 PM              

This sounds as if these pressures were designed to help focus on career and not on family as your career is what is going to be nurturing and supporting your family and yourself in the coming years.

In many ways your career will be your new husband, giving, money, health, gratitude and friends, a new lifestyle is needed.

I had a former b/f very much like this who was petty and mean to people i knew and I got scared.

Do not give in to the fear because this man is a bit of a tyrant and uses fear to control. Get the upper hand no matter WHAT!

Take Care of health,

posted July 15, 2006 12:17 PM              

Glad you found some positive support here, and I think everyone feels your incredible struggle.

posted July 15, 2006 01:22 PM              

Bless you, bless you, bless you.
You sound immensely resourceful and courageous to me.
Remember God only sends us what he thinks we can cope with. And that which doesn't kill us only makes us stronger. So you will grow stronger and stronger. Your children will grow up with amazing admiration for you and one day you will reap the benefits of bringing up wonderful kids and following your heart.
I wish you lots of love and luck.
I haven't had exactly the things you're experiencing happen to me, but I've had pain, great pain. And it's made me stronger.
let us know how things go won't you....and welcome.

posted July 18, 2006 04:01 AM              

Well, had emergency at the weekend, son left again for 12 hours alone, Dad said he was at work, yet he does not work Saturdays, I texted non stop to get back and feed son to no avail then he did get back, left him a take away and went out to a BBQ / party ( even prisoners get socialisation) that was it, son sounded really lonely and desperate, so I got a ferry back, 17 and half hour journey, no sleep but worth it, son grabbed me when I got in and would not let me go, broke my heart, my poor child looked awful, was too scared to even have a bath in weeks in case Dad arrived back unexpectedly and removed all his belongings from his bedroom and again leave him with nothing. I made the right choice getting back immediately for him, I was once where he was and you do really think you are going insane, its a disgrace that the so called Father could treat his own flesh and blood like this.

As I pulled up in taxi with youngest, ex was in car leaving, suppose another 12 hours out and about, his face was a picture at seeing me, looked like thunder then saw the cab driver and gave a weak smile, he reversed like bat out of hell, jumped out and locked his bedroom door, silly man, there will be no locked doors under my roof, so we took the door off immediately, he disappeared for few hours then when he saw the door had been opened, he loaded up his car with more of his belongings and left.

The relief and stress visibly lifted from my son's shoulders was worth everything, the very long journey, the no sleep, the fact that I now cannot take my exams which are next Saturday, none of it matters anymore.

The house was filthy, how anyone can live in the dirt is beyond me, scrubbed the place from top to bottom, very theraputic and getting some sort of normality back into my childrens lives.

Ex on phone asking for my bank account details as he "has to support us", did not give a damn bout this the past 8 months tho, at midnight he came round with money, I had nothing left, made me sign receipt, used to that he did it before whilst we were still living together.

I think he knows I am not the scared kitten who left, I am so strong now in mind and spirit that nothing will get in my way for justice and decency for my kids, the man is a disgrace to call himself a Dad, he did not even speak to youngest who he had not seen in all this time, I am surrounding myself with network of support from domestic violence team, just in case he starts his mind games etc but I doubt he will.

My education can wait now till September once I have my lads installed in a school and settled, they are all that matters now, its funny that he called me a ***** , that he has told all his new found friends how bad a peerson I am, that they believe him, not knowing him or me, well I have not been anywhere socialising with anyone in all these months, my child came first, then my college course, yet he, good saint and woe is me person has never stayed in, got all these women whom he calls his "cyber bitches" nice eh!, still the truth will come out, he has a shock coming to him when I start legal proceedings, as it is he has lost big time, wife who stuck by him thru thick and thin and 2 kids who never want to see or speak to him again, he will have to atone for it all one day.

Well thats me up to date, onwards and upwards and for all the lovely messages of support from you all I thank you from the bottom of my heart and will always be grateful for the lifting of spirits you all gave me.

God bless

posted July 18, 2006 01:30 PM            

Am sad to read that you won't be taking your exams on the 22nd/24th, but it seems you have made plans to continue your education anyway, so it's just postponed a few weeks.

You sound so strong and positive , it's wonderful to read about your taking charge of the situation and starting the long and arduous path towards total disengagement from your husband. I feel that you will triumph -- and you and your boys are getting so much closer to a happy family life together!! Will you be able to stay in the house and have your soon-to-be-ex kicked the bleep out?? Have you seen a solicitor yet??

Please keep us posted ~

posted July 18, 2006 03:38 PM              

Thank you for your reply, yes he is out of the house, I am only going to stay here few weeks, let us all de stress then start life anew.

Had more contact from him in 2 days than whole life put together, typical, "do you need anything" etc, answer no, goodbye.

He is living locally tho but as I am now a different stronger person and he knows it I will have no trouble from him.

Again not a word re his children from him, they do not care at all but it hurts me, been told I have enough evidence to get him to court for cruelty to a minor but do not know what do do bout that at moment.

I have no funds for a solicitor so have to wait on list for free advice, does not bother me at the moment, I have my kids together, we are free from him and very happy at the moment and that is all that matters.

Once we have moved away from here, the boys will go to the same school and I will also go to the pre access to university at the same school, I have contacted the examination board to see if I can sit my exams in this country as it is the same board for both the UK and Ireland, does not matter I can do it again.

Things are looking up no matter what happens now, we are all together and I am so happy.

Lots love