posted July 24, 2006 09:23 AM            

I was involved with one Cancer sun, Venus, Mars (in the 8th) that went absolutely psycho on me.

As Fayte provided, there are many good references on this forum about Cancer men and I have posted alot re my experiences.

In a nutshell: mine quickly became jealous, posessive, VERY insecure, overly clingy, obsessive, compulsive, I could go on and on. When I finally ended with him, which took a few years (I am Pisces sun, Venus in the 4th), he acted out in such ways that I tried to obtain an order of protection but was not able to because he had not hurt me physically, I tried to get a stalking case on him because he drove by my house constantly, and work as well, and he gave a new meaning to the word "harassment!" He destroyed my personal property, scared the life out of me and my two daughters and knew it, as I have PTSD from a very emotionally/mentally abusive marriage.

All in all he did not care what he was doing and was being very selfish. In retrospect he has told me that his actions were in desperation to hold on to me (very controlling as well) because he did not want to loose me, but he had the inability to respect me for an individual with my own needs and desires.

On a positive note, he is a very caring man, very sensitive and nurturing, very passionate. He just acted out in inappropriate ways to try to control his life that he felt was spiriling out of control.

We still talk here and there so he has had the chance to explain to me what was going through his head at the time. I believe he has come a long way in making positive steps toward becoming a more self-actualized individual.

But, be careful, yours sounds like mine and I went through pure hell dealing with this individual as did my friends, coworkers and children.

Sending, peace, love and light,

posted July 24, 2006 12:11 PM            

It doesn't mean nice,consideration,and kindness.

A highly sensitive person can mean,cruel,and sadistic.

A lot of them can be very insecure and take out their issues on people.

A lot of highly sensitive people can be mentally ill and be escapists thru drugs and alcohol. some can be upset easily by things and easily feel victimized. They can be overwhelmed by impressions in the environment and can shut down.

It really depends on how a person uses their high sensitivity.

The thing is to control your high sensitivity. Don't let the high sensitivity control you.

It's not really the insensitive people to watch for. It can be the overly sensitive people to watch out for.

A lot of highly sensitive people can be passionate intense. Scorpio is a sign that is associated with high sensitivity,intensity,and passion being a watersign ruled by Mars and Pluto.

I was verbally and physically abused by my mother,and she's definitely highly sensitive.

She has Ascendant,Mercury,Venus,Jupiter,and Uranus in Cancer along with Moon and Saturn in Scorpio. She has Sun in 12th trine Neptune which is also indicates that she's ultrasensitive.

My father had problems with drugs,and so I never knew him. He was very insecure man who had speech problems and was awkward. He was usually an unusually goodnatured person, but when he lost his temper,he was dangerous. He hit my mom out of jealousy onetime when I was 8 months old. He was a black man born in New Orleans,Louisiana. Therefore,he didn't have an easy life. He was born in 1941. Blacks didn't have civil rights in those days.

He had Moon in Pisces like me and stationary retrograde Neptune. Both are indicators of ultrasensitivity.

posted July 25, 2006 12:18 AM              

>>>Usually it is indeed. The big thing is, if you did nothing to cause the spikey or caustic remarks, then do not assume they have anything to do with you. It is just a Cancerian's way of venting or keeping someone away when they feel like being in their shells. And if one deserved the spitefulness or spikeies, well the Cancerian was not wrong then, was he, or she? But if you are truly undeserving of a spiteful remark from a Cancerian, just say, "I do not deserve that kind of remark"; then walk away. They will usually apologize if they were out of line. When they do apologize, do not gloat. Say thank you and drop it.

posted July 25, 2006 09:53 AM            

You seem to have quite a bit of knowledge about Cancer men. Would you please comment on my post on this thread?

My ex and I are yet again "friends" of sorts. After all that he has done, I just like the guy, not seeing any relationship potietial--too much has happened.

Am I insane for taking him back into my life again? Or do you think these very sensitive, highly emotional guys can get a grip on their overwhealming emotions?

posted July 25, 2006 12:28 PM            

Also I have Moon in Pisces,and that's most sensitive sign for the Moon to be in plus I have Sun,Mercury,and Venus in Scorpio.

I am a very touchy,vulnerable man who tends to be very defensive to the point of being offensive, and that is just as bad as a Cancer. I only feel comfortable with women that have great emotional depth. The woman that I am talking to now has Moon conjunct Saturn in Scorpio and Moon conjunct Pluto and those planets are in 7th house/near the 8th house cusp. She also has stationary Neptune conjunct Midheaven sextile Moon-Saturn-Pluto conjunction as well as Pisces Ascendant. She definitely has great emotional depth,sensitivity,and intensity which I prefer in a partner.

If you have problems with highly sensitive,emotional men, well it's not just Cancers you should avoid. You might as well as stay away from Scorpio,Pisces men too also men with moons that are challenged. After all, Moon is the emotions and how you relate well to women.

It really depends on the person.

posted July 25, 2006 12:45 PM            

When people ****** me off, I definitely lashed out. When people messed with me, I retaliated.

I definitely can be vindictive with my Sun,Mercury,and Venus in Scorpio along with my Moon quincunx Pluto.

However, I end up feeling bad,remorseful,and guilty,apologetic and atoning.....my Pisces Moon in t-square with Saturn and Neptune

I have to really avoid love n' hate relationships with my Venus in Scorpio square Mars along with my Moon conjunct Mars,Moon quincunx Pluto. I can have quite the temper. I am known for being a hothead. My mother is one too. It seems to run in the family.

Do you know his birthdata? I would like to check out his chart.

posted July 25, 2006 01:34 PM              

Am I insane for taking him back into my life again? Or do you think these very sensitive, highly emotional guys can get a grip on their overwhealming emotions?"

>>>>Being friends sounds good. But more than that may not be wise.
Without knowing more of your situation with him I do not know for sure what to say specifically about "you and him."

I am Not saying this is you.
I do not know you.
But the Piscean women with Cancerian men I know of personally have mutual control issues and are both too needy of the other's affections and worry each other into frustrations just because they are both hyper sensitive. They amplify each other's sensitivity to both the good and the bad things. Insecurities on both sides build. A Piscean woman can often smother a Cancerian man. A Cancerian man can become resentful and even more insecure and after a time feel she is wearing the pants in the family. If his mother is a Piscean or his boss, male or female, he can project all his buggaboos upon a Pisecean mate, especailly if she is acting needy or is a chronic worrier.
A Cancerian in this situation may need relationship counseling. He is afraid of losing control and afraid of losing love and generally will worry himself into a phobic state, seeing threats to his lifestyle and relationships, when there are no threats. If he uses drugs and drinks regularly, this will acerbate his mental/emotional instability/lability.
If he ever felt dominated or abused by a woman he will try to overcompensate to show how in control and strong he is, while all the while screaming inside.."but I am gentle! Why do they make me feel spikey? And why, when I am emotional am I looked as less of a real tough man?"

Can he get a grip on his emotions? Not until the things or issues that drove him to that point are dealt with and resolved. But even then, one must accept the fact that he will always be a man of intensity. As a Scorpio I love that aspect.
But what concerns me here in your case is his odd reaction of destroying property.
The only two Cancerian men I knew who acted thusly, were the two men who drank them selves to death.

I do not know if I have helped here or not.
He needs counseling to find out why he is so afraid and needy. It appears he cannot trust.
Did anyone do anything to cause him to be paranoid and jealous? Even joking about jealousy or small jealousy games will often tip a Cancerian over the edge. Demanding them to make snap judgements will drive then nuts and make them feel indecisiveand weak or worthless. They can indeed be masters of procrastination and also be overly cautious.
Pushing a Cancerian male too hard, to do anything, before he is ready, will not work.
He will ecome even more unsure and even angry acting.

This kind of behaviour is more common in Cancerians who went straight from their parents home or a previous relationship, then jumped right to the new or first relationship...
Whereas a Cancerian never in one before(or alot of time has passed) and one who has lived independant of parents for some time on their own, will be generally more emotionally stable. Unless bosses are giving them grief.

posted July 25, 2006 03:34 PM              

to saying

quote:

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Am I insane for taking him back into my life again? Or do you think these very sensitive, highly emotional guys can get a grip on their overwhealming emotions?"

---

These sensitive, highly emotional guys can indeed get a grip on their overwhelming emotions once they see that it's an overwhelming fear of nothing in particular they're dealing with. So in short, yes, but it's the attitude itself that prevents it.

quote:

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but i am sensitive! i am a scorpio, and i thought if he is sensitive then how can he be so mean and say and do such hurtful things. one minute running after me and being clingy, the next practically ignoring me, and, according to these threads, hiding away in his shell. when i do try to see him he is rude and hurtful.

---

I think fayte's exactly right when she says he's afraid of losing love and losing control and that it's driving him to a phobic state. What you're observing in him is an inability to see the potential in the present and instead internally clinging to the past. He misses the way things have been in the past so much that he can't let that go and see the present, even if the present doesn't mean imminent doom.

All in all, you can't make him live in the present, it's a decision only he's able to make for himself.

posted July 25, 2006 03:49 PM            

A relationship for us, we know will never work, with his Cancer planets in the 8th and my Pisces sun/Venus in the 4th makes up able to "like" eachother but, Mars, Merc and Jupiter in Aqua, for me, well..........! I think not! I need WAY too much time alone and huge amounts of space! Just wish I would have looked at his chart indepth before all went so wild!

He has had counseling, been on anti-depressants, but has chosen the path of self-help.

You are right about the drinking/drug aspect, that is when his worst behavior took place (another reason we will never be close again.)

He told me not too long ago, way after the relationship ended that when he was very young he thought he may have seen him mom with another man besides his dad. Alot of things would make alot of sense if that is in fact true!

Yes, freinds, at the best, is what it will always be, even with that I maintain a very long rope and in no way give him any ideas of anything else! I am just way too forgiving, I suppose, and have compassion for all hurting sentient beings.

Thanks for your very insightful advice!

posted July 26, 2006 10:30 AM              

>>>Oh yes! The RELATIONSHIP IS!

He is the only one I know who can handle being with me and dealing with my wrecked body.
I was almost 43 when we met.
I wish I were young and still athletic and fit, he deserves that. But thank God, he takes me as I am.

So while the relationship is as you say "idyllic", this disabled body of mine presents a different picture. Folks cannot figure out why he wants to be with me. Several have tried to lure him away from the "old disabled fat wife".
No dice you young pretties!
He sees beyond the physical.

posted July 26, 2006 02:19 PM            

Because Pluto,natural ruler of Scorpio, is square his Pluto, his Cancer Sun is like a Scorpio. However with the square being a challenging aspect, the Scorpio traits can tend to be more negative.

The good thing is that his Sun square Pluto has affinity with your Sun in Scorpio. However, he tends to be more intense than you.

The Sun has to do with how he experiences his father. The aforementioned stuff can be how he experienced his father. Also it could also indicate that his father was a mystery too.

He has Sun quincunx retrograde Neptune,and that indicates that he's imaginative,sensitive but can be confusing,deceptive,misunderstanding,illusive. With Neptune quincunx his Sun,he is like a Sun in Pisces. But quincunx is a challenging aspect,and so the Piscean traits tend to be more negative. It could indicate the possibility of imagination leading to hurt feelings with his Neptune quincunx to Cancer Sun. There could be the victim,martyr role.

Another thing too, he should stay away from drugs and alcohol. Water Suns with challenging aspects to Neptune should stay away from that stuff.

I think that there is stuff that he is keeping secret from you. It could be about the father.

Neptune quincunx,Pluto square Sun indicates serious father issues.

He has stationary Uranus,and that indicate he is unpredictable,erratic,and can be unconventional and unique. He can definitely have an "electric" explosiveness about him.

He has Mars conjunct South Node in Cancer,and that indicates that he is used to being aggressive,angry. That stuff is instinctive to him. Emotions,feelings strongly affect his actions.

I hope this helps.

posted July 26, 2006 02:20 PM            

I meant to say

posted July 26, 2006 02:51 PM            

I also forgot to mention he has t-square

His stationary Pluto is the apex of a t-square with his Sun,Jupiter

Pluto square the opposition of Sun and Jupiter

Jupiter expands what it aspects....so that can expand his intensity and ego.

Jupiter can be very judgmental when in hard aspect. It can be very indulgent.

he can seem over the top in how he expresses him....he can be a bit dramatic....he can easily act in his rages,frustrations.

posted July 27, 2006 11:47 AM            

infact, the depth of his writtings are credited to the trauma that he went through .

His writtings became famous posthoumously ,the time when his three sisters were being murderd in nazi concentration camp .

being a cancerian , i can imagine what he went through .