posted July 24, 2006 11:25 AM              

I have a little bit of a dilemna. I don't understand SEX, lol, to put it simply. I have this repulsion to it.. yes I'm curious, but I seem to get turned off when a relationship becomes sexual. I love the intellectual stimulation, and the intimacy, but I feel guilt after anything else.

My Venus is in Scorpio, and this is supposedly the most sexual placement for Venus.. yet I don't see how this is possible in the way that I am. Maybe I fear getting close to others? So I run away from it..

I'm only 19, so no its not a big deal that I haven't had sex. But I feel like I may never just because of how I react to it.. and it seems like no one will stick around very long if I don't have sex with them. I am very curious yet I don't see myself in that situation. I used to have negatives views about people who had lots of sex, but I definitely don't care anymore. I think it's an important and healthy part of life and relationships. That's part of the reason why I am a bit upset over this.

I'd really like some advice or anything about this matter. I think I am upset for no good reason!

My birth data is as follows:
dec 15 1986
8:15pm
toronto canada

posted July 24, 2006 11:51 AM              

Did you have a bad experience when you were young, or were yer family very strict regarding sexual stuff......?

Have you thought of going to speak this thro with a counsellor at all.....?

From my past experience, I have found healing and counselling invaluable and a part of that for me was letting go of conditioning around sexual attitudes of my parents....

My mother was very rigid and anti sex before marriage and later confessed to me that she didnt care much for it. Imagine myself and my sister (who both have lots of 8th house stuff going) on, growing up in a household like this!!

I can hardly believe it now, but I used to be blocked sexually, and its only when I gave myself permission to let go, that I have been able to enjoy sex, in fact I love it...

I also have Venus in Scorpio!

Hope this helps...

love and luck

posted July 24, 2006 12:10 PM              

I think you may be right.. I am thinking about my childhood and I had a very messed up family.. parents divorced when I was 8 and I the family dynamic kept changing. I now have two families.

My stepsisters were very screwed up and I think they may have caused me to have bad associations with sex. I also fear sex because of the way people just have sex and then run.. I would feel like part of me was stolen.

I have never had a good time with counselling, I've been there done that. I might go see a woman who works with Chakras, she does Reiki if you've heard of it. That way its not me retelling my life and crying over and over, its just an energy healing session and I can take what good I can out of it.

posted July 24, 2006 12:23 PM            

I am not a person that has a lot of sex. I was a virgin until I was 22 yrs old.

It's all about intensity,depth,transformation,regeneration and mysteries.

Just because a person has strong Scorpio/Pluto influence doesn't mean that they are into sex. That would be a ridiculous generalization.

I notice that people with strong Scorpio/Pluto influence..especially involving hard aspects have suffered sexual abuse or other kinds of abuse directly or indirectly,and that can cause them to trust. A matter of fact,strong Scorpio/Pluto influence can indicate possible trust issues...especially if hard aspects are involved.

I have a history of trust issues myself from being verbally and physically abused by my Scorpio Moon square Pluto mother. I also felt inferior because of my special education experiences. I felt a lot of resentment from that. I kept my special education secret from others. I didn't tell women about because I was afraid that they would see me inferior to them and less of a man. I don't feel that way now. I understand that I was in special education for Dyslexia and Dyspraxia,and not for being mentally retarded. I have above average intelligence like many Dyslexics and Dyspraxics.

People with strong Scorpio/Pluto influence can be celibate due the ability to control themselves. They can be very spiritual

There are numerous ways that Scorpio/Pluto energy can manifest.

Not just sex.

I definitely use it to be a very good astrologer. I like to investigate,research,and see what lies beneath the service. I have been told that I am a healer too. I read that Scorpio/Pluto are associated with healing. They often need healing themselves. They could have had emotional issues/trauma that they need to get psychotherapy for.

posted July 24, 2006 12:30 PM              

I am a reiki healer....I have done quite a lot of healing work.

For myself I found the most effective treatment was with a Shaman healer. She went in very deep with me and pulled all the negative stuf out. She was also able to open up my sexual channels and I havent been the same since.

It was life altering!

posted July 24, 2006 01:39 PM              

It's not that I'm germophobic or anything...
I just think it's gross.
Man I'm such a prude.

posted July 24, 2006 01:47 PM              

Your words are very reassuring, and you are very right. I tend to think about today as eternity sometimes.. forgetting that I will change and grow and good things will come. I need to learn patience, that's for sure! thanks for sharing.

Glaucus~

You make a good point. I have Venus and Pluto in Scorpio in the 4th house. In addition, I have Jupiter and Mars in the 8th house in pisces. I think I was drawn to astrology for the same reasons as you were. And it's true, I am so interested in sex in the transformative, mysterious way. I just fear the part where I have to trust the person on the other end, you know?
My idea about sexual scorpio came from what I read everywhere about Venus in Scorpio. I know it's supposed to be intense and everything, but a lot of places talk about sexual promiscuity and the like, which is totally not my field. But maybe I will be when I'm sexually active? Who knows! But thanks!

sue~

That's so interesting! I have been wanting to talk to this woman lately, I used to see her as a young teen. I think I would like to get into that field as well, and explore Reiki healing for myself and maybe learn it.

Where did you learn?

lol I wish you the best in finding someone who can keep up!!

posted July 24, 2006 02:11 PM            

It's this generalization crap that really concerns me. Some people can believe this stuff and judge people with certain placements wrongly because of it. It can cause unnecessary prejudice that the person doesn't deserve. I hate prejudice any way.

You won't be promiscuous with Venus in Scorpio if you don't want to.

There has to be other things that factor in.

Heck...I have Venus in Scorpio conjunct Mercury in Scorpio in 3rd,square Mars in Aquarius in 6th, parallel Neptune and Venus,and contraparallel Saturn

posted July 24, 2006 02:33 PM              

although its nice to hear about other people with venus in scorpio!

posted July 24, 2006 05:00 PM              

you are so young (in a good way). there is nothing wrong with wanting to find out how you feel about sex and why. I would definitely say - ask questions as much as you want/can about anything related to sex. Sex is not a fearless act. There is also nothing wrong with taking YOUR time. Definitely though - ask questions. Investigate and try not to completely attach someone else's experience to your future experience - ask them questions too, if you feel up to it. At 19 - I was asking men and women questions - about anything that came to mind and I mean LOTS of them, I don't care how "dumb" they sounded. I wanted to know for ME because I didn't want to be uncomfortable about it anymore (sex = "putting it in" which it's not just that) and it hit me that at 19 - I didn't really know much but wanted to know. I also didn't just up and do the act - there is always finding your sensitive spots and such and that can take a while also but is good to find out for yourself so you don't sell yourself short - EVER. I remember when this girl told me that guys masturbate - lol. I went around and asked every guy friend of mine if they did it and how often - as a matter of fact, for about a week, I didn't want to eat anything I saw men making with their hands. Truth. (p.s. females masturbate also) Also, one time, an older relative and I were listening to the news about Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky once and of course - oral sex came up - I couldn't believe the older relative didn't know what it was and guess what - I wouldn't have either if I hadn't asked a men and women, what it was. So, I explained it to the older relative. I'm glad I asked questions otherwise I can't imagine what life would be like for me, right now. It is so important to ask questions. It was such a big thing for me because I had an experience at a young age that really tore my thinking of sex - UP. For Example (hypothetical): Someone could have touched me at an early age (someone i didn't consider looking at like that - someone,inappropriate) - i mean, they did something like squeezed my boob and today I could have a really BIG thing against anyone touching my boob, right? Like, it feels uncomfortable or I fizz out if someone does that, SO - factor in everything. Ask questions.

P.S. Running/Jogging can be an important and healthy part of my life but that doesn't mean I can run as much as I want, as far as I want on the first day.

posted July 25, 2006 01:28 AM              

shirty,

if you've been thinking about sex quite a bit lately it's only because you've decided to "deal" with it somehow - get to know it better, have it, learn how it affects others, etc. And you're doing great with asking everyone about it. By 19 many of us have already gotten into the act or at least seriously thinking about it, but that doesn't have to mean that you either have to have sex or should have to put up with not wanting to have it and being pressured to.

posted July 25, 2006 08:10 PM              

Glaucus! Welcome to LL neighbor. I see you live in Sacramento, I'm up Hwy 50 a bit.
Staying cool? lol

Pardon the intrusion, carry on peoples.

posted July 25, 2006 08:23 PM              

I know a girl with saggy sun & moon, Scorp in Venus (Mars in Virgo) and she has had boys on her mind since she was in 2nd grade! Boys boys boys. 24-7. Now she's 17, and she's slept with god knows HOW many guys..

posted July 25, 2006 09:46 PM              

Good point, linda, I have Mars in Pisces. I'm not sure what that would mean in terms of sex, however.

And yeah, I have to agree with you amisha, about asking all kinds of questions, even if they sound stupid. I am very inquisitive and I always ask my friends/mom about things.. and they are generally pretty open.

In my case I don't think it's a fact of naivety or lack of information, it's more that I have a paranoia around it that's either created my society or myself, I can't figure it out.

Either way, it's good to know people are there to give me advice when I'm lost like I was! I think the hardest thing for me is telling a person I'm interested in about where I am with sex. Most people have been there done that many times so they have learned their ins and outs with another person.

I am a Sag (the eternal student) and I guess the fact that I have no actual experience in this department constantly nags at me!

posted July 26, 2006 10:12 AM            

I felt the same way at 19. In fact, I had sexual hang-ups up until my late 20’s, and I have Mars in Taurus and a ton of eighth house placements so astrologically I should have been a sex machine. The whole idea of sex seemed so animalistic to me, and every time I forged into a sexual arena it was physically painful to me. I had no problem with masturbation – in fact I loved it. But sex… ugg!

Looking back, I think the root of my hang-ups was my upbringing. My father was a holy roller with control issues. He constantly preached that all men wanted was sex. I was raised to think sex before marriage was bad. I was raised to fear sex. When it came time for me to actually do the need, I had so many hang-ups from my father that I couldn’t just relax. I felt like my boyfriend was forcing the situation, and I resented him for it. I felt horribly guilty. Which made me unable to loose myself in the experience on a mental and physical level.

I think psychology plays a HUGE roll in sexual performance. If a woman is resenting her partner or worried about something even a little bit she can dry up and clench down, making sex a less pleasant experience, perhaps even a painful. Even if the worry has nothing to do with the sexual experience she’s partaking in.

I went through two long term partners not really enjoying sex. For me things changed when I hit 28, and secured a boyfriend whom I was/am incredibly sexually attracted to. He is an amazing lover, experienced, and takes the time to get things going. With him I was finally able to let go and really start enjoying sex. Now it’s me that initiates most of the time. : )

So, if I were you Shirty, I’d look back and try to figure out if there were any situations in your past that might make you mentally adverse to sex. And don’t worry too much. You have plenty of time to figure it all out. Some of us are just late bloomers. You don’t HAVE to share sex with your boyfriends. Wait until YOU feel like it. Just tell them no in a nice way. Any man worth having will respect that. There is also something to the whole women reaching their sexual peak at around forty thing. You’ll probably find you get more sex focused the closer you get to that peak. I know it seems to be working that way for me.

Best wishes to you!