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Author
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Topic: Frustrated...need help with Aqua...
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Crabplanet
Newflake Posts: 10
From:
Registered: May 2009
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posted August 04, 2006 11:11 AM
  
Berrysweet,Yes i did! I told him about the "soul connection" thing that i felt, but also that i didn't know if he acctually had any true feelings for me...that i felt lost and confused...and this is the answer that i got yesterday morning: "wow--your last email was so beautiful!" thats all he said about my desperate message, i couldn't believe it! Beautiful? it was a true-passionate-endearing-full feeling-plutonian-message...and then he asked me if i wanted to come over in the evening to do some "art work" with his son...his son that i have never met by the way...like if i was in the mood to do art work???!!! So, because i couldn't continue like this, i sent another message yesterday night and this is what i said: "I'm in the middle of a disruption in my life, i have to restore myself, take certain decisions for the months to come, and resolve some of the "splits" within myself. I'll be heading against the prevailing winds (that's because i have started a business and that pretty soon i have to decide how i am going to expand this + without too much money...). I will come back, but for now, i have to quiet my unquiet mind. Please understand me and please don't answer me...it will help me..." And at the end i added:"Destiny struggles to reassert the pattern that was meant to be".... Berrysweet, things are now clear. I asked him not to write me, because i don't want to be waiting for that email that might never come...but he has my number...if it was really important to him, wouldn't he call? How would you react to this message? IP: Logged |
Mama Mia
Knowflake Posts: 117
From:
Registered: Feb 2010
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posted August 04, 2006 11:22 AM
CrabP, You know the answer already, its inside you sweetie, if you cannot not see it be still and it will become loud enough so that you hear it. What is meant to be will be. I honestly think that women that land Aqua men have to be sure about themselves and what they really need and want. Bc if if not to much confusion will arise, because of the Aqua's uncertainties and insecurities. Crabp, I think that you are on the right track with him and you presented things to him in a class act way, couldn't have done it better myself.. GOOD LUCK!!! IP: Logged |
Crabplanet
Newflake Posts: 10
From:
Registered: May 2009
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posted August 04, 2006 11:42 AM
Mama Mia,Yes, i think i know the answer...i even think that he is relieved now...he didn't have to say anything, or explain anything...i made it easier for him...at least we got "connected" on this...But i don't regret one inch for the little that i shared with him. Even if it was all in my imagination, i will never forget him...After passion comes com-passion...it's maybe even stronger... IP: Logged |
cappy
unregistered
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posted August 04, 2006 12:26 PM
I hope I'm not being awefully naive here but I think his brief reply to you and his invitation to do art work with his son (that you have never met) was his way of reinitiating things with you the way he knows how to...by inviting you into his private world.
In any case, I don't think you should have sent him the last email asking him not to email you back and how busy your life is...You're working against your purpose here...the reaction that you will get is him probably not emailing and not calling...I wouldn't bother if I were him. and then you'll put it on the proverbial aqua man's fault.
It's not fair in my opinion. he communicates differently than you and just because he didn't send an inflamed email like yours doesn't mean that he is not feeling you.
I mean from the beginning of the thread you accuse him of being distant and aloof while in the same breadth admitting to being involved elsewhere.
How do you want him to react when you are dealing him those mixed signals? if he is a sane man, he will stay away: 1) because you are seeing/going on vacation with an ex boyfriend that wouldn't truly be an ex, 2) when you admitted to liking him and all, he gives you an olive branch and you wouldn't appreciate the value of it and then pull the my life is too complicated card.
It's you who are playing the game from where I'm looking...not him.
I think you need to take a break from relationships period and learn about yourself before you can get involved with anyone.
My two centsIP: Logged |
Crabplanet
Newflake Posts: 10
From:
Registered: May 2009
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posted August 04, 2006 12:53 PM
Cappy,Thanks for your point of view. The "disruption": is about separating myself definetly from my ex-bf. The "restore" is about trying to have more perspective on this relationship, from the begining he new that my life was COMPLICATED: my still going on "weird" relationship with me EX, me struggling w/ my business, trying to make a living out of it, out of another passion by the way, and i forgot, he is the one who wanted to start this relationship, not me, because i knew how passionate it would get from my side...he knew that i still had many things to "resolve" and that it would take time...
You are probably right, he communicates differently, i didn't get it, it was like a foreign language...so now it's probably my fault... IP: Logged |
Cardinalgal
unregistered
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posted August 04, 2006 03:53 PM
quote:
Whenever I feel I've got too close, I make a hasty withdraw.
Hi Berry  Can I ask why this is? My partner's Aquarian and this is something he seems to do all the time; just as we get closer he takes five steps back and clams up. I just want to understand so would be really grateful if you could explain. Thanks IP: Logged |
Mama Mia
Knowflake Posts: 117
From:
Registered: Feb 2010
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posted August 04, 2006 04:04 PM
CardinalG. I will answer if you don't mind. From what I have heard from you I think that your guy is really afraid of intimacy..Deep intimacy and somewhat of a commitment phobic. He knows that you are perfect for him and that is what scares him the most. P.s. Start acting crazy and stupid and off the wall he will love you for sure. LOL!!! I am just kidding be yourself but they tend to like the opposite of what is not good to them or for them.. you do have to be gentle with them mostly and patient. My Aqua does me the same way, he pulls away like I have done something to him, he even battles with himself when he see's me sometimes becasue he is fearful of his emotions.. IP: Logged |
BerrySweet
unregistered
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posted August 04, 2006 10:06 PM
Damn it. Typed a long reply and lost it all.IP: Logged |
BerrySweet
unregistered
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posted August 04, 2006 10:17 PM
quote:
he asked me if i wanted to come over in the evening to do some "art work" with his son
I agree with Cappy. Artwork? Meet his son? My god, he all but proposed! He didn't invite you there to play with dried noodles and glue. He wanted to size you up as a potential girlfriend, and to see how you interact with his son because he expectes things could get serious. This guy must really like you. quote:
Mama Mia: I honestly think that women that land Aqua men have to be sure about themselves and what they really need and want. Bc if if not to much confusion will arise, because of the Aqua's uncertainties and insecurities.
I absolutly agree. You have to be stable, and strong and not doubt yourself. Emotional mood swings and drama will fall flat. Sending one e-mail that says "come here" and a second that says "go away" is a mixed message. His warning antenna probably went off. You can't be the flake, because Aqua is always the flake, and there can't be two flakes in the relationship... Somebody has to be the stable one! Be the rock. JUST STAND STILL. Don't move forward, or backward. That's what I meant by playing it cool. quote:
Berry: Whenever I feel I've got too close, I make a hasty withdraw.
Cardinalgal: Hi Berry Can I ask why this is?
Because emotions are overwhelming and it feels like we're downing. Because it's scary to go out there on an emotional limb, you might find out you're standing out there all alone. Like a kitten in a tree. HandsomeLibra: Be stable but not boring, reliable but still interesting. Aqua secretly craves the security of the establishment. It comes from always being an outsider. We can't (or won't) be part of the establishment ourselves, but will date or marry someone who is. IP: Logged |
Crabplanet
Newflake Posts: 10
From:
Registered: May 2009
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posted August 04, 2006 11:03 PM
BerrySweet,Then if he likes me, why doesn't he say so? Why can't he express his feelings to me? By not expressing anything i get the impression that he doesn't have any feelings...
So i missed the entire point with the "art work"? i feel so bad now... IP: Logged |
Aquarius_Lover
unregistered
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posted August 04, 2006 11:58 PM
quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Berry: Whenever I feel I've got too close, I make a hasty withdraw.Cardinalgal: Hi Berry Can I ask why this is?
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Because emotions are overwhelming and it feels like we're downing. Because it's scary to go out there on an emotional limb, you might find out you're standing out there all alone. Like a kitten in a tree.
____________________________________________ This is so true. Just like my Aqua husband. I'm glad I always tooke the get close and then suddenly pulling away thingie as part of his "quirkiness" and let it go. Instinctively I figured out that emotions scares him, instead thought he doesn't love me or dind't want to be in the relationship anymore. IP: Logged |
katipo
unregistered
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posted August 05, 2006 12:33 AM
Berry seems to have the inside track on Aquarian heartbreakers....*sigh*I'm a Taurus gal so madly in love with an Aqua myself, and he drives me NUTS! Sensual touchy feely Taurus and stand back from me I'm an Aquarian, good combination? yeah right, Nuts I hear from the background, YEP! The only way to his heart thus far I've discovered, is as Berry says, cool, calm and stable, though not aloof, be his 'port' in his storm, don't push him, he's liable to take the hint, and push off. Be interesting, (take up X sports and or skydiving) and interested << if this doesn't appeal, he's not for you. GOOD LUCK! IP: Logged |
Crabplanet
Newflake Posts: 10
From:
Registered: May 2009
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posted August 05, 2006 12:57 AM
Got all your insights. Thank you for all your advices. Lets see what happens next. I just sent another e-mail..., i just had to apologize for "thursday". It was a calm, friendly, no questioning, e-mail. Nothing more. I'm still thinking, all this "agitation" that i feel with him, could it be his Uranus on top of my Sun? + his Uranus opposing my Moon in Capri? Most of the time i never get carried away by my emotions, they stay under control, is he activating something with my Moon? IP: Logged |
Crabplanet
Newflake Posts: 10
From:
Registered: May 2009
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posted August 05, 2006 12:59 AM
HandsomeLibra,How are you doing with your Aqua? IP: Logged |
BerrySweet
unregistered
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posted August 05, 2006 01:34 AM
quote:
Crabplanet: Then if he likes me, why doesn't he say so? Why can't he express his feelings to me?
Oh my...Crabplanet...he thought he did! Did he not call your letter "beautiful?"
Did he not invite you over to MEET HIS SON? What more do you need? Flairs? If you need the kind of man who openly declairs his feelings and gives you re-assurance over and over, this isn't the guy for you. You have to be "confident stable and sure" to be with an Aqua, not insecure. Also, you might want to cool it with all the e-mails. You don't want overload him. IP: Logged |
sue g
unregistered
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posted August 05, 2006 04:19 AM
I think only a very cool and detached woman can handle the roller coaster ride of being with an Aquarian man.I was married to one for a while and he almost killed me with his push and pull stuff..... When I left him he told me he had a "death threat" on me....he would push me to see how far he could go and then pull me back....it was dangerous and heartbreaking...  It was very painful for me and took a long time to recover....it almost killed me He would have made a good friend, he was a very likeable guy, but I should never have become a lover to him..... IP: Logged |
Cardinalgal
unregistered
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posted August 05, 2006 06:24 AM
 Sue Thanks so much to everyone who's answered my question - it's really helped to get the inside track on why Aquas tend to pull away. I've always had a suspicion that there's a whole ocean of emotion (hence 'The Water Bearer) churning around beneath that oh so cool, calm and collected exterior.  Looks like I was right. IP: Logged |
sthenri
unregistered
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posted August 05, 2006 09:49 AM
crabplanet, you don't seem very happy, you sound depressed even. As if your life revolves around other people right now. I don't know if this is a regular thing with you but it's a good idea not to be so dependent on what other people think and feel about you. It can make you super sensitive and depressed because they never live up to your expectations.We are all guilty of this from time to time, but it brings you down. Your Uranus conjunct Sun caught my eye. This could be the reason why you are in relationships past their expiration date as you are really seeking a companion with a deeper bond, and honesty and communication are key. Rather than finding a passionate relationship and turning that into a relationship you are doing the opposite. Women with Uranus aspects to their sun end up just friends with a lot of men. The trick is weeding out the ones that are lesser and keeping up the significant ones. It's what you can be good at eventually. A beautiful relationship can be brand new, and still honest and special-try opening up to the new man in your life as if he is an old friend and see what happens. Ask him if he is okay rather than expressing your own hurt, give him another chance and be tender in your expression. If he wants to end it by not answering then respect that. Otherwise you will express unintentionally your own needs first. If you want a friend you have to be a friend. (be supportive, or else withdraw). Good luck,
Natasha
(Taurus Sun trine Uranus Libra) IP: Logged |
HandsomeLibra
unregistered
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posted August 05, 2006 12:23 PM
hey crab ..
good luck with your aqua ..mine .. if i dont call , she has'nt called .. and i am not going to either .. screw this .. if she does'nt want me , i am cool with it .. i dont want to be frustrated ..
i know according to berry and others wisdom , i should remain as a friend ..but how can one remain a friend WITHOUT a contact i miss her voice , her smile , her everything but i am going to have to let her go ..trying to concentrate on my hobby/goal (gym) i just know , if i dont call she is not going to but then why the heck did she have to come so close .. funny thing is ( i dont know if you know but some others do ) i was LOOKING for a aqua when i came to this board ( after reading linda's book ) damm all the aqua girls..they should be shot for playing with libras hearts this way ( kidding guys )
IP: Logged |
HandsomeLibra
unregistered
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posted August 05, 2006 12:28 PM
ohh and i forgot to tell you guys ..
i got a new bike last week ..and when i met her i told her we should go riding together ..she was like yeah i would love to ..right ?
and then when i talked to her on the phone ..i was like hey we need to get a helmet for you if you want to go with me ..guess what ? "naah dont get a helmet for me yet ..we will go later " jeeezusss christ IP: Logged |
Crabplanet
Newflake Posts: 10
From:
Registered: May 2009
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posted August 05, 2006 02:23 PM
HandsomeLibra,Same with me. If things have to happen, they will happen.If not, then we have to let go. I think that if i have this obsesive attraction is because we have all those conjunctions, and oppositions. + his Uranus falls in my 7th house, with all my Sun-Venus-Mercury. The "other" becomes very important in my life. It's annoying how much of my energy is consumed in that area of my life!
Also, he is the one who came after me, he is the one who really wanted to start something...
Do concentrate on your hobby. I'm going back to concentrate on my work.
Have a good WE! IP: Logged |
astro junkie
unregistered
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posted August 10, 2006 04:14 AM
Welcome aqua bassin------------------
... it's better to light a candle than curse the darkness IP: Logged |
aqua bassino
unregistered
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posted August 11, 2006 01:19 PM
Thanks Astro 
Now i'm back to lurking mode..IP: Logged |
Lousianagrl
unregistered
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posted August 11, 2006 06:40 PM
my advice is to ignore him and play hard to get, but don't make it noticeable. That's really the only way you can keep an Aquarius interested. Oh, and don't act dumb around him (not that you do, I'm sure) and don't be afraid to tell him you study astrology and all that..He'll like it.Since he's got venus in Aries, that's another reason you should play hard-to-get. He'll be d*mned if he loses you because it was your decision. To get an Aqua, you've gotta think like an Aqua. ------------------
Sun::Aquarius
Moon::Libra
Asc&venus(conj.)::Pisces
Mars::Gemini
Merc.Saturn.Nep.Uranus:: Capricorn IP: Logged |
Crabplanet
Newflake Posts: 10
From:
Registered: May 2009
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posted August 12, 2006 10:36 AM
Lousianagrl,Thank you for your advice. I got to see him last thursday, but i realized that we couldn't communicate. We don't communicate on the same level. I also felt lots of destructive energy in him. Something that is hidden, he doesn't show it to everybody, like a dark side. He will not compromise and will want things his way. If i continue this relashionship he will try to control me, and i will have to suppress my feelings. I just think that for my own mental health, i should stop seeing him now that it's not too late... IP: Logged | |
Lindaland
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