posted August 25, 2006 02:20 PM            

Basically, I got to that point by wide public opinion. My mom started calling me pushy and saying I was mean. My campers started calling me the grinch that stole summer. My boyfriend and I fought constantly and our relationship almost fell apart. I was pushing my friends away and pulling them back when I wanted to.

I was pretty much trying to control everything and everyone, insanely.

My boyfriend finally gave me a wake up call one day by saying "I think you feel you're older and more important than you really are and one day you're gonna wake up, thinking everyone you "love" will be around when really, no loves you after all". (gotta love that Sag/Aquarian honesty)

It was so mean and squashed my ego so badly (poor Leo moon over here) that I decided i needed to go through a drastic change in attitude, appearance..everything

It's been hard because pushiness and power trips are kinda hardwired into my system...but like I said I try and think more of the other person now than my own wants/needs or how I'm gonna get mine at the moment... It helps me from making such persistent demands on everyone else..a little but of empathy goes a long way i suppose..

posted August 25, 2006 04:32 PM            

Teaselbaby - woah, you vomit as opposed to get angry?? Never heard of that!

posted August 25, 2006 06:53 PM              

Anywho, I have Mars in Aquarius, and we are usually always the most indifferent people, takes a lot to get me angry, and like what that person was saying about how you automatically like someone or not, that isn't true for me however. Mars in Aquarius has to be friends, before dating, and be friends with a person before trusting them as a better friend, etc. Very skeptic, analytical, and all the Scorpio makes me enigmatic. My chart at astro.com says I'm so into my own life, that I guess I push people away, and they get the impression I think myself better, but I just don't want to impose on their life. This is very true, we're fanatical about freedom, personal freedom, and equality pretty much. "Have a problem with authority", I can agree with that to an extent. If you're treated like a minion who wouldn't leave? A lot of times, with authority, I get impatient, and because Mars in aquarius has to do everything on their own, learn their own way, etc. it's difficult.

"I am extremely independent and hotblooded, always ready to defend someone I like/love, something believe in, or something I just feel like doing. And I would fight forit till the end of the earth, just because it's something that either means something to me, or something I want. "

I agree with that 100%, me too! I'm FANATICAL about personal freedom (if my life isn't mine, I am powerless, have no freedom, it's like that of death to me, seriously, to someone with Mars in Aquarius, this is significant of DEATH, and you want to die), I'd fight for it until death, seriously, anything I believe in or means something to me! Which my independence/freedom is the most important thing to me. Having no one in my business, being able to have space, and no one trying to change you, analyze you, and try to tell you who you are, when you know who you are. I'm fanatical about being able to live your life how you want to. It's not about getting my way, or getting what I want, .... it's about freedom/independence to live your life.

posted August 25, 2006 07:53 PM            

I grew up with my mom verbally and physically abusing me. I have had
numerous fights when I was growing up. I got bullied a lot because of
my Dyslexia,Dyspraxia,being very feminine,and mixed. Being an overly
sensitive,emotional child, I cried very easily. My stepfather told me
if somebody hit me,I hit him back. He told me that when I was in 2nd
grade. He pretty much told me to defend myself,and I listened to him.
I even got suspended from school for fighting in 2nd grade. I was
suspended from school for fighting 5 times. I got tired of being
teased,picked on, and so I ended up fighting back. I was the same
when it came to verbal conflicts, there was no delays in responding to
their verbal attacks. I have always been very quick to defend myself.
My parents tell me stuff that I didn't agree with,and I had a
rebuttal. I was slapped and hit by parents numerous times for
speaking up for myself. My mom was especially going psycho on me for
talking back to her. My mom always had a bad temper,and I was scared
of her. She would yell and cuss me out and my stepfather. She's gone
after him with knives and even threw stuff at me. She would hit
me,and I wouldn't fight back to defend myself because she's female and
my mother. This was even still going on when I was 18 years old. I
even told myself one time "My mom is going to be the death of me" She
and I had some arguments few years ago,and she threatened to kill me.

By the way, I had spankings as a kid too. They hurt like hell. It
was probably one of the reasons that I actually behaved well in
school. I actually was a restless and easily kid who would tend to
fidget...especially with the flourescent lighting. I was very much
disciplined because I came from a home of hard knocks,discipline,and
structure. I compared my mom to mother superior and my stepfather to
drill seargeant. Any ways...I have always been very fierce in the way
I defend myself verbally. I have dealt with power issues with my
parents. I still have power issues in that I don't want to people
overpower me and take away my power. Until April of this year, I had
resentment towards my mother for abusing me even though I have
financially helped her out since I was in the US Navy. I finally
forgave her. I admit that I had serious anger issues from how I was
raised and the way I have been treated and misjudged. There are things
that tend to set me off easily being called "retard","stupid"(or
other word),"faggot",and "nigger" I have been called all those words.

Yeah....I know what it's like to experience violence,and so does my
mother. None of us are killers. We didn't commit violent crimes. I
don't hit people. Also I would never treat my future children like my
mom treated me. I won't even spank them. I don't believe in spankings.
The good thing about my mom hitting me was that I don't underestimate
the strength of a female. I used to joke around that she can go a few
rounds with Mike Tyson. Actually,I was partly serious!

Honestly..I have wondered if I will get murdered in the future.
Would it be karma for killing others in a pastlife. Stuff like that
intrigues me. I try to live in the present and be a good person.
Whatever happens. I know that what goes around comes around. I try
to treat people like I want to be treated. However, I don't turn the
other cheek. I am no martyr. Maybe nothing will happened to me. I
feel more afraid of loved ones being harmed even more. I don't want
anything to mom again. I don't want my girlfriend to be harmed,and
yeah..I am well aware that she has Mars oppose Pluto in 7th,and that
doesn't change the way I feel about her. I also know that the
aspect could also indicate that the potential for violence happening
to the partner...even being killed. That doesn't bother me. My
experiences have led me to not fear of my own death. Things happen for
a reason. I am not going to be scared by possibilities. I prefer not
to live my life in fear. I can be cautious though.
Now that I know that my 8th house is not empty of planets...thanks to
the discovery of "Xena"...finding my "Xena" in Aries in 8th house, I
kinda wonder if my death will be connected to things that will have
no control over and unexpectedly with Uranus opposing that Planet in
8th..........that same energy can be good for
occult,metaphysical,psychology,and astrology. I feel that I have put
that energy to good use. I feel that anybody can if they put in the
effort and believe in themselves.

Violent potential stuff in my chart:

Sun,Mercury,Venus in Scorpio
Venus square Mars
Moon conjunct Mars(8th house ruler)
Moon quincunx Pluto in 1st
Pluto square Sun/Mars midpoint
Ascendant square Mars/Pluto midpoint
Uranus oppose Mars/Saturn midpoint
Saturn oppose Mars/Ascendant midpoint
Sun semisquare Mars/Uranus midpoint
Moon sesquiquadrate Sun/Pluto midpoint

Oct 29, 1971
San Francisco,California
3:20 AM

Violent stuff in my mom's chart
Moon in Scorpio in 5th square Pluto in Leo in 3rd
Moon semisquare Mars
Mars sesquiquadrate Pluto
Mars conjunct Saturn/MC midpoint
Mars oppose Sun/Uranus midpoint
Mars square Moon/Pluto midpoint
Sun semisquare Uranus/Pluto midpoint

June 13, 1954
Oakland,California
6:26 AM

The shooting
October 26, 1974
at night

both my mother and I have Chiron in 8th. My maternal grandfather had
Chiron in 8th,and he committed suicide. Interestingly, transiting
Chiron was conjuncting my Mom's Moon and my Mercury when he committed
suicide on Jan 25 1998. It was a huge wound to us, but my
grandfather's death was the catalyst to go on spiritual/soul search
that led me to believe in God again,look into metaphysical things that
eventually led me in Astrology.

posted August 25, 2006 08:02 PM            

My aunt is not normally forceful personality but will be so in order to get a point across or get what she wants. Its nothing I can't handle though (or anyone for that matter). My dad is not normally forceful either but if you ever got into an argument with him-watch out.:

posted August 25, 2006 08:19 PM              

My Dad (Mars in Virgo 4th Sqr Saturn 1st and Asc) also had a rough upbringing, he was hit alot and he also vowed never to hit his wife or children - and he didn't. Mum and Dad celebrating 40 yrs this year and he has been the most wonderful, loving, providing father anyone could hope for and has even become surrogate father to my daughter (who's dad ran out - but that's another story! )

You can decide ur own actions G - Power to u!

posted August 26, 2006 01:43 AM              

I love this subject, especially the way you worded the Topic. A fighting spirit indeed!

I'm glad those two old threads came back up recently, "A Chance to Heal a Past Injury" and "I Get Knocked Down But I Get Up Again". It reminds me to address this topic first questioning under what circumstance.

It's easier to just generalize the answer, of course, and much more work to really break it apart. But not in terms of "is it an a-hole ex or is it an old lady getting robbed at gunpoint". More like, a natural warrior spirit which you have always been in touch with all your life, and with which you are already 'one' with", or is it "a temporary circumstance which challenges you to be more warrior-like" ... kind-of-thing ...

Cz we all know that the bullies are the biggest babies.

posted August 26, 2006 02:32 AM            

I wasn't violent all my life. I didn't pick fights either. It was self defense stuff. I got picked on a lot. My stepfather told me to defend myself. I did fight a lot growing up. Not as an adult though. I do believe in defending myself. I don't see why I should be a martyr and let somebody beat me nor just walk all over me. Like I said, I can be very aggressive verbally too.

I have Mars in Aquarius too,and it conjuncts my Pisces Moon and squares my Venus in Scorpio. I already listed my midpoints involving Mars and Pluto. Midpoints are important in Astrology. I actually focus more on aspects than signs because of my beliefs in Cosmobiology which doesn't use signs,houses and strongly uses midpoints. It doesn't use the soft aspects either. In cosmobiology,hard aspects aren't necessarily challenging. In cosmobiology, it's just about the combination of the energies.

It wasn't about being easily angered and quicktempered.

I actually kept a lot of stuff in and let it fester. I was taking people's crap and doing nothing about it. Then I couldn't take it any more. I was easily hurt too.

If you read my post again, you would see that I was talking

" I got bullied a lot because of my Dyslexia,Dyspraxia,being very feminine,and mixed. Being an overly
sensitive,emotional child, I cried very easily." I was abused growing up by my mother too.

"I admit that I had serious anger issues from how I was
raised and the way I have been treated and misjudged. There are things
that tend to set me off easily being called "retard","stupid"(or
other word),"faggot",and "nigger" I have been called all those words."

posted August 26, 2006 11:45 AM            

quote:

---

Gee, that's still interesting, you must harbour feelings of guilt when you get angry? I feel like this sometimes when I am angry too, but I don't tend to show it.

---

It depends on the situation. It happens with my Mother and Sister when they really get angry, too. I didn't think it was all that uncommon.

posted August 26, 2006 12:34 PM            

Yeah...I am the same way. Just because I stand up for myself, defend myself,and fight back doesn't necessarily mean that I don't treat others like I want to be treated. I just don't believe in turning the other cheek. Maybe it's different for guys any way...especially growing up with a lot of violence. I am a guy that doesn't fit the male stereotypes.

I live in Sacramento,California. I live in areas where there are mostly Blacks.

If you read about black neighborhoods, a lot of violence goes on.

posted August 26, 2006 02:07 PM              

I have Sun sextile Mars, but have other aspects that promote a "fighting spirit" (or just plain bull-headedness, on my part):

first, I have three prominent placements in Taurus, including my rising sign. This is not fiery, of course, but out and out obstinacy--and it makes me a fighter by digging in my heels and not letting go of something.

I do have the Moon in Sag, and at times I will fly off the handle but I get over trivial anger pretty easily.

The main thing that makes me a fighter, I think, is my Sun and Mercury both square Pluto. I can be very abrasive in my relations with people, especially verbally--with those strong Taurus placements, I tend to be stubborn and not willing to see other people's points of view. Add the squares to Pluto, and forget me listening to you if I don't agree. I can be controlling at times, have a volcanic temper, and am fiercely independent.

posted August 27, 2006 02:27 AM              

cat71,
I can't hold grudges (for long ) either...and Id rather just walk away from the whole thing too.

That's awesome you are most diplomatic with your family. It's almost the opposite way around for me...and Ive got a Pisces moon.
I dont know if that has anything to do with it. I have to blame my father for this one...he was never known for being diplomatic at home. Better with my family now, then when I was a teenager.

Kewl Im a highschool teacher as well!...and I hear ya on not showing those emotions in the class...learned that one from experience

The Virgin,
I can't say Ive ever disliked a person without knowing anything about them...and if I did I wouldn't tell them...unless they ask for it.

You said "Just when you think you've got it down your skills are tested at the next level." Sometimes that idea bothers me.
I bought a spiritual book on patience a few months ago...haven't the patience to sit down and read it yet I'll try to post some here...it'll motivate me to open the book.

teaselbaby,
I am embarassed when my temper even begins to show in public...at home tempers flared everywhere, so everyone is used to it.

I know a couple Aries who feel the same way you do...they get embarassed when they lose their temper...I wonder why that is when Mars is your ruling planet?

That transit in the 12th house must be bringing up some unconscious sides to you...and conjunct Pluto would just speed up the transformations. Good luck with that!

posted August 28, 2006 06:24 PM              

I've noticed several things related to this aspect.

For instance, I can be very impatient with my goals (and also with others). I am extremely ambitious and have quite an active nervous system.

Have to regulate my desires quite often as they can be very powerful (mars in 8th house).

I feel mentally very aggressive when people are cruel and unfair to me or to others, and I find myself thinking of attacking them with sarcasm and pointing out at their weak arguments but my pisces sun doesnt like confrontations so I bottle up a lot, a lot, a lot...

I found out that I regularly need to channel my mental and physical high charge through exercise but because I'm not into that right now, I beat up my mattress with my pillow when I feel like telling off someone in the most cruel way (scorpio rising is very creative with vindictive language, hehe). It works for me ;-)

I also realised that this square makes me very competitive with men, don't trust them much and I can quickly go from flirting with them to being "difficult" to them (nothing to be proud of BTW). This was also linked to my bad relationship with my dad. Since I'm working out on it, I feel more open to guys. But it will always be there, I know. I'm ultra feminist too but still feminine (pisces girl).

Anyhow, due to the seriousness of such a square, I am little by little letting my martian energy express itself more often, as its in my nature to compete and all that. I feel better now that I express that part of me (mind u, I'm having transiting pluto opposite my mars, so I'm learning the hard way!).

It was last March around my birthday when I finally came to terms with the fact that I am way more competitive than what I thought(I thought I was all peace and love stuff). Anyone seeing that square would have guessed right.

posted August 28, 2006 06:37 PM              

"found out that I regularly need to channel my mental and physical high charge through exercise but because I'm not into that right now, I beat up my mattress with my pillow when I feel like telling off someone in the most cruel way (scorpio rising is very creative with vindictive language, hehe). It works for me ;-)

I also realised that this square makes me very competitive with men, don't trust them much and I can quickly go from flirting with them to being "difficult" to them (nothing to be proud of BTW). This was also linked to my bad relationship with my dad. Since I'm working out on it, I feel more open to guys. But it will always be there, I know. I'm ultra feminist too but still feminine (pisces girl)."