posted November 27, 2006 03:23 AM              

do you feel that a chart using equal houses represents you better than one with placidus?

posted November 27, 2006 10:00 AM            

Salisa, whatever it is baby you'll get through it. Your life is a gift from GOD and is precious. Think about your mom and the horrible pain you would have put her through losing you. There is no replacing a child. Trust me. Say your prayers, put your best foot forward and don't ever play with your life again.
I will say a special prayer for you

posted November 27, 2006 10:22 AM            

I can totally relate to you.

I have a history of depression which includes suicidal feelings. I have never tried to commit suicide. I definitely had thoughts about it. It was mainly because of my low self esteem,insecurity. I thought that I was worthless and couldn't do anything right because I was stupid and a failure. That was all connected to my Dyslexia and Dyspraxia. I always felt that way until 2003 after I finally gained awareness of my Dyslexia and Dyspraxia and realized that I am not stupid. That was the 2nd part of the beginning of the healing process for me. The 1st part of the beginning of the healing process was learning about myself through Astrology in 1998 which inspired me to use Astrology to help others learn about about themselves. Self Awareness and Success in Life are very connected.

We both have Moon square Neptune which indicates a high degree of sensitivity,a psychic emotional sponge, but also a tendency to escapism. Suicide is the ultimate escape.

We both have Sun quincunx Saturn which indicates a very serious self expression,disciplined,problems with authority or our own authority,insecurity,low self esteem as well as possibily a strict father figure. We can be hard on ourselves. Depression is one of the manifestations of Sun quincunx Saturn too.

We both have Virgo Ascendant,and that indicates a critical or self critical nature,perfectionist,detail,practical,no-nonsense,
analytical in how we approach life. We can be hard on ourselves and be our worst critic. We might try too hard to avoid making mistakes. We tend to overcompensate for any weaknesses that we might have. We can be very humble and self effacing. We could also be very insecure. We might also might feel that we need to prove ourselves in some way,and we could do that by being very helpful to others. We can be service-oriented.

My mother has attempted suicide many of times including a drug overdose. My maternal grandfather committed suicide in 1998.

Life is worth living no matter how hard it seems. There is light at the end of the dark tunnel...no matter how long it is.

Don't give up. Hope is a very powerful thing. You have gifts. We have pointed them out to you. You have the capability to be a successful person in life.

I wish you all the best.

ps

email me astynaz@yahoo.com

posted November 27, 2006 02:29 PM              

MM~ yeah, thanks for summing up quite nicely my feelings on this whole matter with "neptune." Its the implied threat that really bothered me- like we suddenly going to mob someone in her defense. Ick. Your response was much nicer than my original post.

LaLa~ nope, I don't buy the apology. I think its merely a reflex from getting called out about her rudeness. I deleted my original post because I felt it was too harsh.

***A person doesn't attack someone like this without provocation (the schoolyard bully defense.) It doesn't speak well of character, as much as we can surmise character over the internet. Have you read her posts on other threads- being blunt or being a Sag is not an excuse just to be mean. Also, being young is no excuse either.***

My two cents.

posted November 27, 2006 03:23 PM              

Dear Salisa, my heart goes out to you. Please don't ever try to do it again. Not because its 'wrong' or anything like that. I have also been through it. I wish I cud do something to lessen your pain. In case you ever need a friend to hear you out, you can email me/chat with me at quicksilver.alchemy@gmail.com. Ok?

posted November 27, 2006 04:28 PM              

My heart grieves for you. Please remember what Glaucus said, because I think it's important and comes from a true place. And these final words of his are a gift to you, because 37 years of living, I have learned this:

quote:

---

Life is worth living no matter how hard it seems. There is light at the end of the dark tunnel...no matter how long it is.

Don't give up. Hope is a very powerful thing. You have gifts. We have pointed them out to you. You have the capability to be a successful person in life.

---

I'll like to add that I've worked with children who've come from abusive backgrounds, all types of abuse. I too was a victim and survivor of emotional abuse. And it has made me strong, and who I am today. But, about the children. I used to always tell them, that none of it is there fault. None of it. That parents are people, human beings, and people aren't perfect. And these people have the ability to have children, unfortunately. But, now that you have breath in your body, your life is your own. And it is what you make of it. So make it, simply, good. And make it happy. Because sometimes, just sometimes, the people who are supposed to aide in that, parents, just aren't able to. And usually, it's a cyclic. Parents, parents, their parents. Generational. So, just think about the power you can wield. All of it. Absolutely all of it. Can stop with you. And the new, can begin with you. And that, you can take the bank and cash

Much love, And PULLING FOR YOU. I know you can do it. I can't begin to tell you how I, WE, broke the cycle of emotional abuse in our family. And now, our nephews and cousins, are living so assured of themselves, knowing every moment, even now that I love them, they are loved, and knowing they are protected. It's a great thing. A wonderful accomplishment. And I challenge to do the same.

And one more thing. It took a while but those abusers, they are changing. You know why? Because they have no power. But, don't expect the outside to change much, because humans, may or may not, BUT, how you preceive them and yourself may. And, when you change, your words change, and when your words change, just listening to you can save a life. Even yours.

Sighhhhhhh....

posted November 27, 2006 04:38 PM              

Salisa understands you. Heck, I even do what you did, most of time! Misread.

I've sort of scanned some of your things over the time that I've been here, and yeah, you have come off a bit abrasive. Which, truthfully, have turned me off. But hey, people have their personalities. I have mine too!

And now, I've seen your growth.This is big for you Quite big. Personally, I am VERY impressed. And like you even more.

So you know what, let all the negativity that ensued after you women'd up and made your apology, roll off your back, and stand at ease

.....

posted November 27, 2006 06:00 PM              

please stop analysing your chart if you are trying to find faults with yourself. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you. There is nothing in your chart that would make you 'soulless', infact to the contrary. It shows that you are a sensitive person, like Glaucus said. It also indicates some challenges that you will have to face. How these planetary influences play out in your personality, is entirely up to you.

You are going through some rough transits, and that is regardless of what house system you use. And this is reflected in your unsupportive external environment. Please understand that it is not YOU who is at fault. its nobody's fault. Once this pain is over, you would come out of it a much stronger and self-assured person. Sometimes pain can teach us more about ourselves than all the love and nurturing in the world. And that is why most of us need to face such difficult periods from time to time.

Please say something, we are all very concerned about you here. waiting to hear from you

posted November 27, 2006 11:37 PM              

glad to hear from you. i will spend some more time on your chart and try to come up with something. you can ask william too. he has a thread running on this forum. his analysis is good.

you are going through some very trying circumstances. it is natural to feel confused. perhaps you could share with us on this forum, about how you feel. not trying to pry, but sometimes it helps to just let things out. Do you have friends who know you closely, and who can help you through this phase?

posted November 29, 2006 12:45 AM              

I studied your chart a bit, and have basically compiled interpretations for the various aspects that i noticed and thought might be significant:

1. You have a lot of neptune aspects (to moon, venus, asc, merc and mars) Evidently, neptune would color your character quite a bit.

Neptune in House 4
-------------------------------
Your childhood and early home life were colored by a great deal of confusion or by people with unusually active imaginations, aspirations, or fantasies. It is difficult for you to see your childhood and your relationship with your parents in a clear, realistic light. You may search for the ideal, loving home you wish you had, or believe you had, when you were a child. Finding inner peace and a sense of emotional security within yourself is important to you.

Moon Square Neptune
--------------------------------
You are a dreamer, attracted to the inner, mystical side of life, and may have trouble distinguishing the real from the imagined or illusory. You do not enjoy confrontation and become very evasive when problems in your personal life arise, escaping into your imagination in order to avoid dealing with them directly. You are also rather gullible and naive about people, especially if your sympathy has been aroused. You are very sensitive to music and can use it to bring yourself into emotional balance and harmony.

Mercury opp Neptune
----------------------------------
Your mind is highly imaginative and creative and you possess dramatic, artistic, or musical abilities. As a child, you enjoyed daydreaming, fantasizing, pretending, and probably lived in "your own little world" a good deal. You perceive things which are not obvious to other people and you have an uncanny ability to "read" people and situations without being told anything about them. However, you must learn to discriminate between a true psychic perception and your imagination. Learning to discipline and focus your mind is necessary if you wish to use all of your creative potential. Otherwise, you could be simply a dreamer.

Communication with others is difficult for you because you often find words frustrating and inadequate to express your experiences and perceptions. Also, you may purposefully mystify or deceive others.

Venus trine Neptune
--------------------------------
Your romantic nature is enhanced through the influence of Venus in trine aspect to Neptune. When you're in love, you create at atmosphere of magical possibilities which transport you into another dimension. Love can be a purely transcendent experience for you, since you are capable of opening your heart to a true feeling of compassion. Your gentility, creativity and artistry can be especially attractive, and when you're involved in a loving relationship, you are comfortable sharing the secrets of your heart. Allowing love to flow as you follow its course is quite natural for you, and you will be happiest in relationships which support your sense of divine harmony. Forgiveness and acceptance keep the energy of love flowing freely.

Mars opp Neptune
---------------------------------
Ordinary life often seems drab and uninteresting to you and you must have something that stirs your imagination, some vision or ideal or dream to motivate you. You have a strong urge to act out your fantasies or to live your dream, and you will DO things that others only talk about or dream about. Artistic creation, drama, or other areas in which you can express yourself imaginatively are excellent for you.

You are all too aware of your own weaknesses and need to develop a sure sense of your own spiritual motivation. Then relationships with others form on established ground of inspiration and compassion. As you overcome the urge to indulge in momentary physical pleasures, you build the capacity for spiritual ecstasy.

Work that serves only your own narrow personal interests does not satisfy you. You may lack the competitive edge, the fighting spirit, the me-first attitude that is often required for material advancement and success. You also tend to either overestimate or underestimate your own power and abilities.

2. You have a t-square with moon at the apex, and neptune and mars in square to it.

Interpretation of T-square
---------------------------------------------

The apex planet(in your case Moon) of a T-Square is the focal point. This is the planet that provides motivation, drive and is also the most critical placement of the T-square. The best use of the apex energy is to pretend that the apex is being opposed and incorporate that opposing energy into the necessary activities. That is the release for the pressure. The key to utilizing the T-Square is to move forward; to become proactive with the apex planet, while minimizing the scattered feelings that may result when the T-Square is being triggered. Acknowledging that the opposing energy is missing, is what consciously provides that stabilizer in the decision making process. Take note that when a transiting planet moves into the opposite of the apex, forming a pseudo Grand Cross, it could be providing the individual with an opportunity to release the productive energy of the T-Square in the most direct approach because the transit shines on the Apex placement, bringing awareness of the need for balance to the Apex planet while tapping onto the two squares.

Sign of the Apex Planet
---------------------------------------

To properly assess the needs of the T-Square, take note of the element of the sign that the Apex planet is in. The element provides guidance in understanding the nature of the action that the T-Square will likely produce: In your case, its Aries....Fire => spirit, enthusiasm and identity orientation

Modality of the T-square
---------------------------------------
CARDINAL. Similar to the Cardinal Grand Cross, the Cardinal T-Square focuses on the identity of the individual. The Apex Planet's sign will zero in on where integration of the focal point will be (Aries => identity of self; Cancer => identity through emotions; Libra => identity through social connections; Capricorn => identity through accomplishments). Similar to the Cardinal Grand Cross, impulsiveness is a prominent feature. Planets in Cardinal signs feel a need to act immediately. Patience is not a priority here. The Cardinal T-Square tends to be the most active of the T-Squares, although not the most productive. Coercing the three placements to work together can be the challenge. The nature is for each energy to do its own thing, causing conflicts and disjointed activities to become the main focus. Remember, being aware of the "empty space" opposing the Apex planet can give the individual guidance for a Cardinal T-Square. When all the planets are focused on the same task oriented activity, moving forward becomes much easier. The difficult task will be learning how to get these three disparate energies to unite.

So I feel, that the key challenge you face is in defining yourself...building a strong sense of your identity. With Neptune in such prominence, you have a spiritual and idealistic nature. On the downside, you may cringe from harsh reality, and escape into your dreamworld. In a sense, your t-square is calling upon you to come out of this emotional nebulousness and build a strong identity. After all, you do have a Gemini sun and Merc (so you r big on communication! and with Merc exalted in gem, u r one of the fastest thinkers around) and Moon in Aries (passion, fire, impulsiveness, aggressiveness, enthusiasm). You can read up more detailed descriptions for these from cafeastrology.com So you see, you have these sort of interesting mix of gifts, and all you have to do is start using them. don't let that neptune bog you down. Once you are secure about who you are, that same neptune can make you one of the kindest, most enlightened souls around. But you have to integrate the rest of these nascent qualities first. Embrace your fire, your assertiveness, your leadership qualities...your changeability, charm, and 'fun' side. You have it in you.

Ohh, and btw, this is not all. the best is yet to come. The other planet that is prominent in your chart is, guess who, PLUTO- the planet of transformation, the phoenix that rises from its ashes. you have immense power, baby

3. You have Pluto aspects to merc, venus and mars.

Pluto trine Mercury
--------------------------------
You are very acute, analytical and individualistic. You always demonstrate great power of concentration and also a deep comprehension of abstract or philosophical subjects. It is probable that you exert a strong influence on others because of the sureness of your judgments and the ability to argue your case. Since childhood you have known what you wanted to study and you directed all your energies towards your professional accomplishments. In all likelihood, you are interested in studying human nature and are inclined towards psychology, psychiatry or medicine.

Venus opp Pluto
----------------------------
You experience powerful, compelling emotional and sexual attractions, and you may feel that you have little choice or control over your desires. You have an intense need for love and may be emotionally greedy or insatiable. Your love life is passionate and often tumultuous and painful as well. Jealousy, power struggles, or over-possessiveness can become areas of conflict in your relationships. Positively, you can be unusually creative and bring about beneficial and healing changes in the lives of others, motivated by your deeply felt love

Pluto trine Mars
-------------------------------
You will feel at ease in applying your potent will-power to ensure the success of any aims that you clearly decide to achieve and which are realistically within your scope. You are likely to observe over time that, when necessary, the self-discipline required to direct your will consistently in the chosen direction also stimulates an inner change to occur, whereby your qualities and talents seem to be remixed or rebalanced according to the needs of your objectives. This can be very useful as a regeneration of the inner life to reflect a pattern of internal harmony, in which conflicting energies and tendencies are no longer competing for expression and diverting your attention away from your purpose. However, this process should only occur during phases where you need to be intensely one-pointed and concentrated enough to make your decisive active step, and should not be encouraged to continue, as the result may be a repression of aspects of your personality and a pushing them down into the unconscious mind. See it as a temporary 'selective tightening' necessary for a short time, and then allow a relaxation and a release of these temporarily unexpressed aspects to be free again in your personality.

You tend to have insight into people and situations, and the capacity for direct, realistic analysis. You prefer to allow space for others to be themselves, being quite tolerant of most people - providing they are not causing deliberate harm or taking advantage of others. in addition, you hvae a clear sense of interrelationship with society, and feel that you have a natural responsibility to use your energies in a socially constructive way. In particular, you take a certain pleasure in atttempting to resolve social problems by becoming involved with social pressure groups which indicate directions to follow which they believe would be socially beneficial. You can become very committed to supporting causes that you have faith in, devoting time and energy to furthering the cause, and in being true to yourself and your personal beliefs. The only point to bear in mind with such a tendency is the need for an ongoing evaluation of belief and self, to determine your current standpoint and to allow it to change and evolve naturally, as you develop through time and greater life experience; belief should not be an unquestioning, static position.

In the end, always remember, that the so called negative aspects, are merely challenges that we need to face, and pitfalls that we need to be aware of. Once we accept the 'negative' tendencies indicated by these aspects, we can overcome them and it is only then that their full power and potential is realized. for eg, on the downside pluto can make one power hungry, but once we realize that we have actually have access to this enormous Plutonian power, we can choose to use it positively to bring about healing and transformation in ourselves and others.

Much love
ILWL

www.cafeastrology.com
http://www.lunarliving.org/astrology/grandcross_t-square.shtml
http://www.astrologyweekly.com/astrological-aspects/mars-trine-pluto.php

posted November 29, 2006 01:20 AM              

Moon and Mars are in mutual reception, ie Moon in Aries which is ruled by mars, and Mars in Cancer, the home sign for moon. I am not very sure, but probably this is a beneficial position for both Moon and Mars.

*edit*

posted November 29, 2006 01:22 AM              

You have many planets in the 10th, which is a saturnian house. Saturn is harsh; a taskmaster, and especially with the sun (and chiron) there, you're learning about responsibility through some measure of hardship. It may be trying to tell you that there is no success without failure - you must take obstacles as a stepping stone to your success.

Venus in the 8th shows that you suffer deeply from the people you love - because of misunderstandings, and you have a large measure of sensitivity. Having Venus opposition Pluto in the 2nd, what you desire can be in conflict with what you're willing to give.

Moon in Aries in the seventh can show that even though you may be abrupt and impulsive, you tend to seek assurance from a partner - almost conjunct the 8th house cusp can show an intensity of emotion.

posted January 05, 2007 09:09 PM              

I wasn't around when this thread started, and I'm not looking to restart a dead fight. But I feel I should say this for your sake:

If you are a Gemini woman suffering from depression like me, you are likely in a place that makes it difficult for you to feels a sense of self-worth, and with that, much self-dignity and self-preservation. I know all about this too well. You need to be aware of that, because that makes you very vulnerable to people who will choose to be unkind and take cheap shots at you because they themselves have issues and sense you're vulnerable (don't ask me why, but when Gem women are vulnerable, people just love that take good hard kick at us - I guess it's just part of human nature to be cruel when someone thinks the other person can't fight back).