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Author
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Topic: CANCER Guys - A Tell All
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heart cakes
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posted December 16, 2007 02:08 PM
 
i am involved with a triple cancer in a long distance thing. we are taking it VERY slowly, as in, it could be a year or more before we even get together cuz we both want to make sure and neither of us is ready yet (we both still have baggage from our past relationships). it's only been a few months but we talk often. it confuses me but sometimes he just gets MOODY. i always took it very personally and thought i'd done something horribly wrong to invite his crabbiness, but he would always be consistent in his desire to be with me and insist that none of that has changed. i find asking questions about their feelings makes it worse. they protect their indirect natures rather fiercely!!
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heart cakes
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posted December 16, 2007 02:10 PM
i'm so curious about the moon thing too. i guess beyond looking at the aspects to his natal sun and moon, would you also factor in what sign the moon is in itself? like when the moon is in, say sagittarius and makes no specific aspect to his sun or moon, etc, would it be fair to assume that he will be feeling more optimistic and upbeat and sagittariussy, emotionally speaking? or is that too much of a stretch?
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LibraChickety
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posted December 16, 2007 02:10 PM
What does your chart look like heart cakes?IP: Logged |
heart cakes
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posted December 16, 2007 02:11 PM
sun in aquarius in the second, moon in taurus in the fourth.. anything else you want to know?IP: Logged |
LibraChickety
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posted December 16, 2007 02:21 PM
Oh dear, Ms. Aqua (that might explain it), I couldn't handle a long distance relationship like that. Kudos to you!  What are his placements? I have heard that an Aqua and Cancer (ignoring other placements) aren't necessarily the greatest match - due to the independent Aqua nature and the sensitive, home-body Crab. Because although I don't have any Aqua placements, I really value my 'me' time and would want him to be understanding of that. Are Cancer men like Taurus and Scorpio(fellow water sign) men in that they are possessive and jealous? I have a feeling there is a HUGE difference between water sign Scorpio and water sign Cancer...
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LibraChickety
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posted December 16, 2007 02:26 PM
heart cakes, I am in agreement with you in that I would love to hear some feedback on how the Moon would affect them.---------------------------------------
writesomething was helpful: "Well pisces is a water sign like cancer is, pisces is about solitude...So the general feeling it has on most people right now is to stay at home, listen to music, read poetry, and be alone.(this is more stronger for the water signs: pisces, cancer, and scorpio)."
--------------------------------------- I guess it affects each sign differently in an obvious way. But, I wonder how Moon in Pisces affects Fire, Air and Earth signs. IP: Logged |
heart cakes
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posted December 16, 2007 02:27 PM
his placements are AC and moon in gemini. so we are pretty well balanced there. cancer mercury and venus along with sun. i think my taurus moon and 2nd house placements make me much less aquarian than the usual, in many respects. for this guy, my patience could never be drained! i would wait 20 years if i had to. i am not really sure about posessiveness or jealousy with cancer. i think they probably are but would never admit it. maybe not so much jealous as posessive. but since they would be indirect about it, i suppose it doesn't really fit into the definition.. so maybe they would prefer to be posessed, to feel secure. not really sure! the water signs trip me out, but in a good way. i'm finding it quite interesting and rewarding to learn to communicate without words. IP: Logged |
LibraChickety
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posted December 16, 2007 02:32 PM
Wow, you'd wait 20 years. Is he a great catch for you?You aren't the first to use the word "indirect". What does this mean exactly? Because he was very direct with me - with everything. Very straight-forward. Communicating without words - how do the two of you do that? This Cancer is a fantastic writer and speaker - so I'm wondering how that'll pan out. IP: Logged |
heart cakes
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posted December 16, 2007 02:39 PM
indirect: he says "i don't know" a LOT!  well, i am a sagittarius rising and like to ask a lot of questions. my moon is in the 4th so i have a bit of cancer like tendencies too. i can be pretty insecure and have been effed over pretty badly by guys so i have tended to ask him a LOT of questions about his feelings for me. to which he always says that he does not like to talk about feelings. but when i ask him something specific he will give me a yes or a no and i can tell he is completely sincere, but he doesn't frill it up with details. i like that. the communicating without words.. well when we are together physically, we are just so very intune without even needing to talk. on the phone this is harder (haha) but it is sort of like a musical undercurrent where we just get into the flow of eachother somehow and the words aren't especially relevent. very hard to explain. this is the only person i've had this with. i have many strong aspects (trines and sextiles) to his cancer stuff so i suppose this accounts for it. that IS kinda odd that your cancer is so direct. what are his moon and AC? is he straightforward about his feelings for you as well? IP: Logged |
LibraChickety
unregistered
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posted December 16, 2007 02:41 PM
I found this to be helpful and somewhat humorous  -------------
Cancer wants what it can’t have. As soon as it gets something, it forgets about it. A friend of mine told me that she used to go out with a Cancer man. “He kept asking me if I loved him, but I don’t like to rush into things”, she said. “When I finally told him I loved him, he left suddenly and I never saw him again!”. The way around disasters like this is to keep the game going. Keep them guessing forever. A client told me that her Cancer Sun-Sign boyfriend had canceled several dates recently. “He says he had a hard day at work and he’s too tired to come over, and he’s doing it more and more”, she complained. I told her what to do. The next day, she called me to say that it worked. “The phone rang at 9 P.M. and I didn’t answer it”, she said. “Did it ring at Exactly 9 P. M.” I asked. “Yes”. Good. It was him. “Then it rang at 9:30, and I still didn’t answer it”. Exactly at 9:30? Yes. So predictable. “Then it rang at 10 P.M., I picked it up and said “Hello”. What did he say? “He said “where were you?’ No hello. Just ‘Where were you?’” He was over there in another half hour and spent the night. Like I say, Cancer can’t stand to loose anything. Never, ever, give a Cancer a straight compliment. If you tell them that they look good, they will think that something is wrong, or that you’re trying to set them up for something. You have to tell them that they are looking “less bad today” and then ask them if they are trying to break a lifetime trend. Watch them smile. Cancer men are known for needling the women in their lives until they blow up. They want to “get mommy mad”. If you are involved with one, just be a “tough moma” who’s trying to help them get their life in order. Correct them constantly. If they ask you if you love them, use one of the following lines: (1) “I’ll think about it”. If they press you for an answer, say “For goodness sake, you know how busy I am. I’m taking time out of my busy schedule to think about whether I love you or not. I think that says something. But some people are just never satisfied!” (2) Say “Of course I do, uh..uhh...” and pretend that you forgot their name. Then say “Well what’s in a name anyway. Whatever your name is, I love you.” (3) Tell them flat out that you have “Better taste than that”. (4) If you want to tell them that you love them, shake your head, sigh, and say “I don’t know why I put up with you”. On the positive side, (yes, there is a positive side) the house with the sign of Cancer on the cusp (beginning) shows one of the places in or lives where we can be loving and nurturing, protecting the helpless (including animals). On the negative side, it can show where we can be moody and irrationally greedy. This is the area of our lives where, if we can’t get our way, we tend to retreat into a fantasy world where things are just the way we want them to be.
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LibraChickety
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posted December 16, 2007 02:48 PM
I'm Sag rising as well and ask a lot of questions too Yes, he was VERY direct. IP: Logged |
heart cakes
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posted December 16, 2007 03:03 PM
hmm.. i might be reading this wrong.. but the "ah. sort of" seems sort of indirect. like he was maybe hoping you might elaborate.i am REALLY not sure how to read the cancer dance myself, so i can't really answer your questions, unfortunately! but my guy is fond of saying "of course" and "don't be silly" type things too. maybe it's a cancer thing. it's like bits of reassurance that seem very solid and real without being elaborate. i find it very sweet. IP: Logged |
LibraChickety
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posted December 16, 2007 03:05 PM
Ahhh, I see that now "Ah. Sort of." GOTCHA! Otherwise, very direct, no? Good to know (your last paragraph). Ahh, so they ARE sensitive, sweet, caring men? IP: Logged |
LibraChickety
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posted December 16, 2007 03:27 PM
Do Cancer men typically have a specific 'type'?Similar to that of: Taurus men liking femininity/curvaceousness. Scorpio men liking aggressive, 'darker' types. Pisces men liking darker, thinner types. Aries men like aggressive, curvaceous types. This is what I have noticed with these signs - in more than one example obviously, or else I wouldn't even bring it up. IP: Logged |
writesomething
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posted December 16, 2007 03:33 PM
yes, cancers like boobs. the more feminine the better, big boobs are always a plus. the typical big boobs, tiny waist, big butt.IP: Logged |
LibraChickety
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posted December 16, 2007 03:35 PM
I suppose I'm In Like Flynn then. I just need a little more back.  IP: Logged |
heart cakes
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posted December 16, 2007 03:36 PM
i am not sure how to answer your last question.. but onto your previous post:did you think the "ah. sort of." was a statement to your first question? it could have been, but based on the way my IMs tend to go with my cancer, i would guess that it was an indirect question (so indirect he dropped the question mark!). i save my IMs and read them over and have noticed MANY times where he will say something that i misinterpret that was actually a question in disguise. and the funny thing is, he will not even pick it up and ask again if i miss it, which, as a sagittarius ascendant like me, might seem confusing since we can be pretty, uh, persistent! IP: Logged |
LibraChickety
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posted December 16, 2007 04:48 PM
I think you may be right in "Ah. Sort of." was a question. Now, I wish I had elaborated. If one doesn't pick-up on their subtle, indirect questions, do you think they eventually tire? Figuring you just don't 'get them'? Hmmm. *scratches head* IP: Logged |
heart cakes
unregistered
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posted December 16, 2007 04:59 PM
well, all your questions sound like the ones i ask myself almost every time we talk! cuz it is a bit ironic that we are supposed to pick up on the things they cannot directly express. that is something i don't quite understand, but i do accept it.. i seriously wish i could answer your questions but it may be enough to know you are not alone and it seems pretty typical, at least with my experience! there is always sort of a fuzziness where i get the gyst of what he is saying without him having to actually spell it out.. i am getting better at that. but sometimes when i over think it i get totally confused and wonder if i was imagining things or something! i hope a cancer or someone who understands them better can answer your questions! IP: Logged |
heart cakes
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posted December 16, 2007 05:00 PM
oh, and i do think they "forget" certain things to get you to elaborate, yes. i think that is part of the indirect way they find out what they need. and then sometimes pretend like it doesn't matter, when it really does. or something.it could have meant that he really didn't matter, or that it is okay, too! i think the bottom line that i'm learning with my cancer is to not worry about anything and just stay completely in the moment. what else is there, after all? IP: Logged |
LibraChickety
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posted December 16, 2007 05:02 PM
Ahhh, you're right! Notice how he chimed in awful quickly with: "oh, yeah. well, it just seemed like you were saying in essence that I was making you insecure". He didn't remember anything two seconds ago! Thank you for opening my eyes to this! So, you go through the same thing with regards to this?? :P IP: Logged |
heart cakes
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posted December 16, 2007 05:08 PM
i just edited before i saw your reply.. i'm not sure if that is what he meant, it's so hard to say. but if he answered very quickly, then at least it was on his mind.. so yes, he probably did remember!in my own situation, also being somewhat cancerian myself, it is hard for me to sort through all the feelings and understand whose are whose sometimes, espeically since he does not like to talk about them (different than not feeling them). i think maybe with cancers there might be a tendency to project their insecurities to make YOU feel a bit insecure so that they can feel secure, knowing they matter to you.. but i'm not totally sure since i have no clear feedback on any of this.. i am just going on how it feels AND trying to understand it mentally as well.. but the way yours talks reminds me of mine! IP: Logged |
NAM
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posted December 16, 2007 05:25 PM
This is funny, I am sorry but the guy remembers and he remembers everything, if he doesn't remember is because he doesn't care.
You are being played, he might not even know he is playing because this is how we are but he is totally testing you.
JMOWord of advice although I am not with the cancer man I like but I still have a connection with him, anyway... you really need to learn to act with intuition with him. That is really all I can say about it, I hate a person that is insecure it turns into a boring challenge... now I am not a cancer male so this may not apply ... I don't know, I just know I am this way. There was another cancer boy (long distance friendship) I kept for a while and he was not like you are describing...
I am wondering how old is this guy, because both of mine, actually there is another cancer boy that is a good friend of mine too that we clicked very well but there was nothing romantic from my side I can't get into that type of relationship, but we talked everyday for a while and he is still awsome to me, just not that way, Anyway, all of mine are around 35-38 years old. How old is this guy? IP: Logged |
LibraChickety
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posted December 16, 2007 05:35 PM
Oh man, I've had enough of games after my recent Aqua fiasco!I certainly hope he doesn't intend on it. He's early 30's. Did you happen to catch the earlier posts? He CANCELLED meeting me - our first time. But he was courteous and timely. And, I really believe he was sick - he sounded it. IP: Logged |
heart cakes
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posted December 16, 2007 05:41 PM
NAM, what are your definitions of "testing" and "being played"? my definitions put them on the opposite sides of the spectrum, intention-wise.IP: Logged | |
Lindaland
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