posted April 02, 2008 08:57 PM         

this may or may not be helpful.. but the idea is to surrender to emotion, to not be afraid of it. in yourself and in others.. the point is that once you let go of control, you will find the security you seek WITHIN the emotions themselves; within the connection and intimacy you will feel with others.

posted April 02, 2008 09:03 PM         

Africa, Algeria, Amsterdam (Holland), Berne (Switzerland), Cadiz (Spain), Instanbul (Turkey), Genoa (Italy), Holland, Lubeck (Germany), Magdsburg (Germany), Manchester (England), Milan (Italy), New York City (New York), New Zealand, Paraguay, Rochdale (England), Scotland, Stockholm (Sweden), Tunis (Tunisia), Venice (Italy), York (England).

Now, listen to this:

I am from Africa, I love Algeria because that's where Zidane is from, I love the Netherlands and Holland also for sport reasons too. I love Turkey, they are such a beautiful people. I am going to move to Sweden when I have kids because they medical policies are the best in the world. I love NY. I have some good friends in Italy and Germany and I contemplated moving there. England... well... there are so many personal memories and meaningful things about England.

Basically, all these countries and cities mean something worthwhile and personal to me.

I wonder how these places affect my Cancer placements, if it makes them better or worse.

Fin.

added: heart cakes, that is helpful. Cynically, it means that i must just be an emotional wreck and total basket case. If I start crying, I'd probably never stop. I can't even watch news due to the morbid content.

But on the real... I see exactly what you mean and I am going to stop this tough cookie thing. I have been letting go of it slowly, but I guess now I have to let go of it completely and shout from a tall building that... "I am afraid. I am just scared. And I want a hug!" and then I sob one of those ugly cries.

But...

Remember though, there are a lot of people who count on my strength, so if I break down, what will happen to them? I tried showing my feelings and I almost gave someone a heart attack. People worry when I am... Cancerian like. They prefer the Virgo, no nonsense, damage controller, not the basket case.

Only a few people know the 'vulnerable' side of me. I can count them on one hand. Seriously, that would be the ugly type of anarchy.

One of my friends said I hate kids. One of my other friends said I hate cooking. Another said I was a danger to men because I just go out to destroy them. That is nothing like me, but I created that image somehow.

posted April 02, 2008 09:22 PM         

I suppose I'm going to come out of the softy closet on LL, on this thread.

I didn't even give people hugs until recently. LOL.

People are wondering what's up with me already since 2 years ago when I stopped being a broker and started chilling under trees and playing my guitar.

After reading about Nodes, I suppose I am becoming more of who I really am because I was really questioning my sanity.

posted April 03, 2008 06:47 PM         

How do nodes affect other people around me? If my SN is conjunct some else's AC and Jupiter as EighthMoon mentioned, what does that entail?

So, we are speaking of Nodes in synastry I assume?

Let me go investigate, but if you have an answer, please do share.
http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum1/HTML/012279.html

When the Ascendant in your chart forms an aspect to your partner's North Node,

When the Ascendant conjuncts the North Node or South Node in synastry, there is an immediate and powerful connection between two people. The relationship seems "meant to be" in some way, and you may have met under unusual circumstances. This represents a highly personal bond. It is not necessarily romantic by nature, but when it exists in the chemistry between romantic partners, there is a strong attachment to each other. This connection goes beyond physical attraction, as you explore, through each other, your own personalities. Neither of you much wants to let go of the other. If you were to separate and then meet again, there would be little "catching up" to do, as your connection is immediate and familiar. Was it your destiny to meet? Whether you believe in destiny or not, this relationship feels very meaningful to you both.

I also found this:

When the Sun in your chart forms an aspect to another person's North Node

When your Sun is conjunct your partner's North Node, one of the major themes of your relationship is developing each other's talents and strengths. This contact is a powerful one. Instant friendship is probable, but if there is any hesitance, it is likely on the part of the North Node person. The Sun person expresses many of the qualities that the North Node person is intuitively drawn to expressing, and any reluctance on the Node person's part really represents a fear of progress. More probably, this relationship is attractive and carries with it some unspoken promise of growth. There is a feeling of "going somewhere" through this relationship. You are likely to be quite active together, spurring each other on frequently.

When your Sun is conjunct your partner's South Node (therefore it is in opposition to your partner's North Node), this relationship can be revolutionary in terms of personal growth. The friendship between you is instant. In fact, you are likely to find each other very familiar even on first meeting. Your partner will quite naturally reveal your inner strengths. The caution here is that you may pull your partner into the past. You will feel safe to your partner, and he or she runs the danger of avoiding key issues he or she needs to face through North Node lessons via your association. You may not encourage each other to take on new adventures, finding it all too easy to slip into a familiar pattern. The ties that bind you, however, are very strong.

Lastly, I found this:

When the Moon your chart forms an aspect to another person's North Node or South Node

When your Moon conjuncts your partner's North Node, you will be deeply affected by your relationship. Neither of you will forget each other, as this relationship is meaningful on a deep level to you both. There are life-size themes of nurturing and safety in this relationship. The Moon person expresses qualities that the North Node person, on a subconscious level, needs to develop in order to grow spiritually. The attraction can be intense, and the relationship itself will be a distinctly emotional connection. Issues of security, taking care of each other, and protection are dominant ones in this partnership. There is an instant bond between the two of you, almost as if this relationship feels "meant to be". The ties are strong, and the bond is hard to break. If you do part, both of you will feel attached to the memory of the relationship and the person, and if you were to meet again, you would not feel any distance between you. There is an instant attraction and sympathy between you. If there is discomfort in the relationship, it will likely come from the North Node person, as there is a sense of fatedness involved here. The Moon person may feel that he or she gives more emotionally than the North Node person at times, but will generally be comfortable with this role.

When your Moon conjuncts your partner's South Node, the attraction is instant. You immediately feel safe, secure, and comfortable in each other's presence. Intuitively, you sense similarity in each other's emotional reactions to the world, and in your mutual needs for security. At some point in time, the South Node person may get a sense that the Moon person is holding him or her back in some way. There is much safety and comfort in the relationship, and the emotional bond is tremendous, but the bond doesn't carry with it a sense of moving forward. In fact, you may tend to cocoon yourselves and fall back on familiar routines rather than take on new adventures together. You may have such an effect on each other as to exaggerate each other's mood swings and desire for safety. If anyone of the two "outgrows" the relationship, it will more than likely be the South Node person. However, the attachment is great and there will be a feeling of emotional indebtedness to each other, particularly on the part of the South Node person. There is a great deal of sympathy between the two of you, and these feelings come naturally.

So... to all Cancer and Capricorn Sun's and Moons... In the words of Marvin Gaye...