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Author Topic:   How do I nicely break things off with a Cancer male?
bluegreyeyes
Knowflake

Posts: 184
From: New York, NY USA
Registered: Mar 2007

posted April 09, 2008 09:47 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for bluegreyeyes     Edit/Delete Message
Well, it's been 2 months... and this Cancer male that I've been spending time with, is well, doing that weird crab walk thing. Side to side, back and forth. Nice enough guy, obviously doesn't know what he wants (or maybe he does and won't try to get it?), so I'm tired of trying to figure him out... I need to just end things amicably.

How do I nicely end our romantic relationship?

Keep in mind - I will *definitely* be running into him, and we share mutual friends, so I'd like to keep it friendly. (Said by a true aqua!)

I'm just not in the type of place where I can keep double guessing *myself* because he's being all Cancer about this relationship.

Ironically, he sorta kept me at a distance for a few days, then we hang out, and I decide I'm going to break things off...so I become distant...and voila - the boy is texting me off the hook and asking me to hang out 2 days in a row?

Sucks... but I just know that it's not good for me to be in such a turbulent insecure relationship.

Any advice for how to not make him hate me?

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*Christina*
Aquarius SUN
Gemini MOON
Aries ASC

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blue moon
Moderator

Posts: 4700
From: U.K
Registered: Dec 2007

posted April 09, 2008 09:55 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for blue moon     Edit/Delete Message
The only man I ever dumped was a Cancer. How, I just met him in the pub and told him straight. He thanked me for at least having the decency to tell him to his face.

At that age (19?) I didn't really want a steady boyfriend and was ill-equipped to deal with his level of sensitivity. I saw him a couple of years later and with the tact and aplomb I possessed at this age I told him to watch his drinking or he would end up an alcoholic. He said I was already too late. Sometimes I wonder what happened to him, a very clever man. It's a bad combination to be highly intelligent and highly senstive, too highly tuned for this world.

I don't know if this helps but Cancers seem to like apologies and having their emotional needs recongnised. Most people like honesty so that is always a good approach. BS is insulting isn't it, it's not you it's me, blah, blah.

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belgz
Knowflake

Posts: 719
From: sydney
Registered: Feb 2007

posted April 09, 2008 10:32 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for belgz     Edit/Delete Message
Well im a crab and i very much depend on my mood and how i feel towards that person. Though ive never been dumped i think i wouldnt care i think maybe make a nice joke out of it without him getting offended. ACt distant hell get the point lol

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ASC: Virgo

Sun: Cancer
Moon: Gemini
Mars: Cancer
Mercury: Cancer
Venus: Leo

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hippichick
Knowflake

Posts: 2236
From: The Ether
Registered: Jan 2006

posted April 09, 2008 10:43 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for hippichick     Edit/Delete Message
The only man I have ever dumped was a Cancer, the one I spoke of in your other thread. And that was not pretty.

What I did learn from that experience, tho, is to break the ties, clean and true. State your intent, nicely, calmly do not send mixed messages.

It is so commendable as someone has already said to have the guts to face an individual and end the relationship.

It should not have to be rewarded to do the right thing, it should be expected, but so, so many people just walk away and leave the other hanging.

I am trying to end it with an Aqua now, and the freak will not even call me back so I can end it. He knows not of my intent, I have acted normal, and I will be calm and loving, but I do know he senses my energy.

Just be kind to the Crab, but firm, even motherly.

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Belage
Knowflake

Posts: 699
From: Bay Area, California, USA
Registered: Jan 2006

posted April 09, 2008 02:58 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Belage     Edit/Delete Message
It won't matter how nice the breakup is. He will try to make you feel guilty about it, and will try to get the mutual friends on his side, so don't be surprised if the mutual friends feel sorry for him and see you as the bad guy. I have seen that pattern over and over with cancerian types.

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Seeing Stars 7.21
Knowflake

Posts: 1301
From: New York
Registered: Dec 2006

posted April 09, 2008 04:54 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Seeing Stars 7.21     Edit/Delete Message
Theres no such thing as breaking things off nicely with a Cancer. If your going to be seeing him on regular occasion in the future its prolly going to be bitter or awkward.

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starrym
Knowflake

Posts: 204
From: boston
Registered: Nov 2007

posted April 09, 2008 07:27 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for starrym     Edit/Delete Message
i def side w seeing stars here. theres no point to breaking things off nicely with a Cancer. if its over, tell them flat. they probably will not want to play the lets-still-be-friends or nice-guy game, so it's pretty much over.

i broke up with one myself. i never really see him, but the general feeling i got was - well, if thats your decision, then goodbye and never again. not as bad as a Cap. oh man, they know how to avoid you as if their life depended on it.

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libraschoice7
Knowflake

Posts: 2085
From: Arizona
Registered: Jul 2006

posted April 10, 2008 01:49 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for libraschoice7     Edit/Delete Message
No matter what you say to him it will still be tough for him, especially if he is really into you(Cancers are like fine China, handle with care)I agree with the above poster, try to be motherly and gentle...it seems this board has people either wanting to woe a Cancer or wanting to get rid of them.

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Sun in Libra
Moon in Cancer
Jupiter in Cancer
Venus in Virgo
Mars in Cancer
Ascendant in Cancer

"I seem to have the blind self-acceptance of the eccentric who can't conceive that his eccentricities are not clearly understood"

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mblover
Knowflake

Posts: 508
From:
Registered: Nov 2007

posted April 10, 2008 11:13 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for mblover     Edit/Delete Message
There is no 'ethical' nice way to break things off with a Cancer male. They love to cling onto memories. But, if you go into an emotional argument that you can't adjust with his Mother and emotional match is not there between both of you and convince him with hopes that you have had a dream of a much more emotional and compatible woman for him. Also give him very clear indication that you dreamed about marrying a much different man from him but somehow love was felt much stronger with that imaginary guy.... eventhough this sounds quite illogical.. that's how Cancer men are.. emotional and illogical..

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tbone
Knowflake

Posts: 277
From: vancouver,bc
Registered: Feb 2006

posted April 11, 2008 03:19 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for tbone     Edit/Delete Message
I am a Crab. Ive had my heart broken by an Aqu. I guess to make a long story short, i freaked out by being too clingy (somewhat obsessive) and every time she got scared and tried to push me away ie.. got angry, yelled, called me names, slammed doors; or told to F&%#k off it drove me towards her even more. Even if you become distant ; Cancers usually love a challenge and will pursue you. They are determined and love a challenge. I read somewhere once..
"Trying to break up with a Cancerian is like trying to get gum off your shoe" lol hahhahahhahhahahahah.. So true.

Good luck. Go easy on him. Tell him what u like about him and tell him u value your friendship but thats all you want from him. Be honest.

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