posted June 09, 2008 02:27 PM         

heartcakes ~ well, my Sun is at 1'58 Cancer (2nd house) and my Venus is at 3'23 Cancer.

sunshine ~ The one planet trining/sextiling this whole mess is Uranus. I'm assuming then that this means I must tap into my previously unused creative genius in order to figure it all out? Who knows, maybe it does. My Vertex (29' Libra) is conjuncting my Uranus (3'10 Scorpio)...wonder what that means....

jane ~ I swear I know you from a past life...or maybe this one? And as for your centaur meat, I recall that there's a Scorpio wrapping around it so you know I'm not going to pass that up.

<<<<<Your power in those situations is recognizing that it's unfair to you. That you deserve more than that and will end the relationships in your life that don't properly honor you.>>>>>

That's good for me to hear. I have been sitting around for a few weeks trying to decide if that's true or if I'm just too demanding. People always tell me that I am very demanding but in a relationship I will never ask from someone what I am unwilling to give myself. And maybe I need to be a little colder and harder?

I do know that I am not being honoured in the way I believe I deserve, but maybe my beliefs are not rooted in reality? These are a couple of the 2 billion thought loops that run through my mind on a weekly basis.

As for seeing my Scorpio ex, so many people have told me to cut that off, however I felt as though I would never get over him until I could truly accept it was over. And when I wasn't seeing him I was unconsciously creating fantasies in my head about us being together again, but then when I would see him, he would shove those fantasies right up my bum, alongside Pluto. So although seeing him for the last year has been a painful experience, it has still been beneficial. But now I wonder if it's served it's purpose. All I've wanted is for him to STOP appealing to me, and I'm closer to that now than I was a year ago at least.

The hardest part for me in what you wrote is the 'unlovable' thing. I've been working with that all year now and I still cannot ascertain whether I deeply feel unlovable or if it's un-in-lovable. I feel like it's the latter, but hey, what do I know at this point?

Also funny what you wrote about your friend being single for 9 months...I am always single for exactly 9 months between my relationships. I slowly give birth to a new me and then the universe sends me another one. This time I feel so deluded and confused (oh 7th House Neptune, you are a sneaky teacher).

But everything you said is correct and I appreciate it. Like I said, I feel like I know you alot better than I actually do. (Except for that one dirty weekend we shared in '06)

izo ~ Yeah, I'm a Gemini Ascendant, mind you I only discovered that this past January. And I agree that sleeping is VERY important. It feels like that's all I want to do these days and I can never get enough.

Again, thanks so much for all your support Astro-dudes! I feel like le crap but this thread has made me feel a bit better. If I could squishy-squish all of you into a giant, depressed, Cancerian hug, I would.

posted June 09, 2008 04:06 PM         

with your venus at 3'23, you're just beginning your transit. everything you just said about feeling unlovable is exactly what i was feeling at the beginning of my pluto-venus transit a couple of years ago. and like jane's friend, i always dated men who were cold and unavailable and did not treat me with respect, ultimately. i decided to stop dating, and didn't for a full two years, so that i could really concentrate on myself and learning what it meant to love myself, and find out who i really am, and what is worthwhile about me. maybe it has more to do with the conjunction than the opposition, but i started getting hit on big time as pluto started transiting my venus. like almost every day, but i resisted every time and kept my focus inside, knowing the pattern would just perpetuate if i got into anything without being clear and grounded in my own self-love. i can't tell you how much i've changed and grown since the transit began, but my confidence is restored and i know that in my next relationship i will be strong and lovable, and know now what kind of man i want to be with. it is so clear in my mind and heart and i won't settle for less. but the process was very painful and it felt like a drought in my heart, like i'd never find love, like it was all futile. pluto is now almost exactly back on my venus, and i believe this is the last time it will contact, so i feel like it is a gift. and perhaps the waxing and waning of it brings the lessons (and then gives a bit of relief as you assimilate them and put them to practice). everything is not perfect, and i'm still single, but i just feel such a sense of knowing that everything will work out, that i *am* lovable, that there is a great, wonderful, caring man out there for me. i just know it.

posted June 11, 2008 03:59 PM         

Ah, a fellow Canadian. I send you love-and-maple-filled Tim Horton's doughnuts through the ether

Yes, the cold and unavailable thing is what I attract and it's also my emotional kyptonite. My issue is that I know exactly the man I want to be with, except I keep allowing illusions to cloud my vision of the men I bring into my heart (due, no doubt, to Neptune in the 7th). I have typically had more patience and compassion for them and less for me, although I suppose in doing that I was filling some kind of void. Nothing happens for no reason.

It's ironic about Pluto too, since P is my favourite planet. In my chart, Pluto has made itself known very clearly:

~ Stationary Direct and conjunct asteroid Karma (and yet also contraparallel it) in Libra/5th House

~ Part of a grand trine with my Mercury and MC

~ Contraparallel my Uranus and Vertex and parallel my Lilith and Amor

~ Square my Sun, Venus and Isis, biquintile my Moon, and trine my Pallas, Vesta, Osiris and Ascendant

~ My NN is in Scorpio and the ruler of my 8th house (and 7th *sigh*) is in my 12th loosely conjuncting my SN

~ Scorpio/Taurus intercepted in the 6th and 12th houses

Every man I have ever been in love with has had either a Scorpio Sun (x2) or Moon (x2).

And now here is Pluto teetering at the brink of my 8th house.

Everything you said rings true for what I'm currently experiencing. I keep trying to just release and then relax and through all of it remember to stop resisting. Perhaps that should be a mantra for Pluto transits.

And what you said about power is probably Pluto's biggest lesson. I think we're often afraid of our own power and unconscious to what our deeply held beliefs about power really are so hopefully this transit is indicative of a time where I will be able to bring the old, out-moded beliefs to the surface and release anything that no longer serves me. I've always had this feeling that my Stationary Direct Pluto is a huge indicator of power I am not accessing and, in fact, which I am giving away to others.

This has all been truly helpful. Thanks to everyone who responded

posted June 12, 2008 09:54 AM         

I am waiting to see what the next time will bring me, probably sometihing I don't expect to happen now, like the first 2 times, you never know what Pluto uncovers, or what else is now to uncover, I can't think of anything.

posted June 12, 2008 11:09 AM         

quote:

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Can anyone tell me if pluto has any relation to losing a loved one?

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posted June 14, 2008 04:18 AM         

A crunchy scorpion shell surrounding horse meat doesn't sound appetizing to me, but I'm flattered that you disagree. I would advise against a career as a chef, however.

What you said about possibly needing to be colder and harder reminded me of that friend I had mentioned before. She said something similar during her last break up. (With an Aqua btw. Perfect sign to culminate someone's obsession with the emotionally aloof). She said she wished she was more like me (less clingy) b/c then he wouldn't have broken up with her. I'd told her, and maybe this will apply to you as well, that one man's clingy is another man's blissful devotion. So then you need to ask yourself, why are you drawn to the men who don't value what you have to give?

You said that in a relationship you never ask from someone what you're unwilling to give yourself. I know you meant that in the sense of reciprocity, but I love the way it's worded b/c of its other possible interpretation. I believe you when you say that you're willing to give your partner what you ask of him, but are you willing and able to give yourself what you ask of him? Can you provide yourself with unconditional love, nurturing, and security? Can you see yourself as someone exciting, passionate, and in-lovable? And can you see that so thoroughly that when a man doesn't share your vision you can say to him w/o bitterness "your loss"?

What worked for my friend was becoming more self-sufficient emotionally. She started to feed her on emotional needs. This helped her because it improved her sense of self-worth. She'd disliked how needy she thought she was and was drawn to partners (and friends ) who she viewed as more independent b/c she wanted to be like that. She had to learn to value her more emotional nature b/c once she valued it in herself, she was able to value it in others and be attracted to men who were more compatible with her in that way. Before, emotionally open men didn't sexually attract her (since she didn't really like that part of herself). But after she got that part of herself more under control and saw how being emotional and able to care for herself is a sign of strength and independence, she was able to be attracted to more commitment-minded, emotional men because she was then able to see them as strong, too.

So I think t.Pluto is asking a lot of you right now. It's asking you to examine what love you think you're worthy of & to give it to yourself. Once that happens, partners will sense that you're with them to love them and be loved in return & to celebrate what you two have together. When you look more inward for a sense of self-worth, you're able to better appreciate and see what it is that your partner is bringing to your life. You can see him as a partner & not someone providing you with a sense of lovability. That's gotta come from the inside.