Posts: 866
From: Richmond, VA USA
Registered: Dec 2007

posted August 12, 2008 03:31 PM         

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quote:

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My grandpa who I've never known had sag mars, and my grandma says whenever they started an argument he'd just walk away, which is ridiculous.
She says it was impossible to settle things like which house to by or even what to eat for diner with him, because as soon as they had a comparative discussion, he'd just walk away.
Like that's insane!

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lol snohawk, i'm exactly like that. honestly though, it's better for me to walk away because i get really heated in arguments and i tend to say things that i don't really mean in the long run. it's better to give sag mars breathing room. normally i get really really mad and then 10 minutes later i'm back to normal.

and to librasun, i agree with unmoved. don't play games with him (not answering his calls etc). it'll just ensure a break up instead of fixing things for the better. what you need to do is sit down and talk to him and explain your feelings and how it made you feel when he said "i just want to be friends." and how confused you are by his actions. that would be a better course of action.

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Posts: 187
From:
Registered: Feb 2008

posted August 12, 2008 03:36 PM         

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k thanks guys
i will call him back when i feel ready to talk
like you said amowls i want to cool down so i don't say anything hurtful

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Posts: 5058
From:
Registered: Feb 2002

posted August 12, 2008 06:27 PM         

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Try thinking positive, things happen for a reason I know it's easier said than done . . . Please be glad this happened sooner than later, as you now know more about this person. Can you imagine if this happened when you are both married or even had a family?

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Posts: 187
From:
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posted August 12, 2008 10:09 PM         

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thanks guys btw Dioscuri I emailed myself back

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Posts: 187
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posted August 12, 2008 10:32 PM         

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i mean i emailed you back? wow my phone does weird spellcheck corrections

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Posts: 1301
From: New York
Registered: Dec 2006

posted August 12, 2008 11:08 PM         

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I havent read the whole thread but I can say my advice librasunleomoon could really help you.. Im a Cancer, Libra, Virgo Male.

I think hes just doing this to get a reaction out of you. nothing big. but if your acting detached then you cant really blame him.. this isnt a good way to being successfull with a cancer man. I have done this same thing before.. sadly I regretted it badly soon after. if you can put up with this and assure him that you wanna be with him despite what he sais I dont think he'll be going anywhere

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Posts: 2913
From: Never Never Land
Registered: Oct 2006

posted August 12, 2008 11:40 PM         

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Actually I don't know he has a Libra moon. My Cancer ex hated when I was emotional and would always chase the Gemini girls (after we broke up) because they are detached. It depends on the venus placement I think. But yea I know Cancers need security.

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Posts: 187
From:
Registered: Feb 2008

posted August 13, 2008 08:55 AM         

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well i am not normally detached like this but i became that way when i thought he was breaking up with me. I simply don't do well with most breakups and knew I could react badly if I didn't stay under control.
If he was doing it just to get a reaction out of me, he didn't realize that I'm not going to try to argue with someone's feelings, because there is no point, so I took it at face value and somehow I guess he thought I might argue or discuss but to me that's not an opening to a discussion because it's too hurtful.
Anyways...in an email I was saying I might send a quick text to him today just saying I was taking a couple days to think and if he could give me a couple days that would be cool. That why he wouldn't think I was purposely ignoring all his calls the other day and he would know I'm not just blowing him off and that I do want to talk again. Dioscuri, you replied that I should not say that I needed some time to be less confused, because it gives him too much power, and I should just say hi, and that I got busy, after a few days. I would be inclined to agree, except that the truth is, in our relationship up until monday, we have actually talked every single day. Usually he calls and sometimes I do so we almost always talk and see each other practically as much and always leave after class together. So to not talk to him for more than 2 days now except for that 3 minute chat after class, is like, a really big deal, and it's rather obvious we don't know what's going on because we don't normally do this at all. So if I said "O hey what's up, I just got busy" he would definitely know that was a tactic and would see me as playing games...and I am not sure I want to do that since I think we need honest communication now not confusion. That's why I was inclined to just send an honest but short text just saying I needed a couple days.
But if anyone has a better way of phrasing it, I'd welcome hearing ideas. Or maybe I should not do it today but tomorrow or the next time?
Dioscuri btw I really appreciated your reply to my emails and I will get back to you when the day is over

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Posts: 187
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Registered: Feb 2008

posted August 13, 2008 10:43 PM         

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ugh nevermind he broke up with me for real...over email
i really miss him and i wish someone had some kind of guarenteed way to get him back and make it better
ugh, whatever. ******* ******** .

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Posts: 187
From:
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posted August 13, 2008 10:43 PM         

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i am just feeling so cursed right now

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Posts: 2376
From: meet me in montauk
Registered: May 2006

posted August 13, 2008 11:09 PM         

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Im sorry, Libra. My heart goes out to you.

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Posts: 2160
From: Born in S.Africa
Registered: Jun 2007

posted August 14, 2008 06:15 AM         

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The @$$h0le!

Via email? When he can see you?

Coward! Unless you met via email, that is uncalled for.

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Posts: 187
From:
Registered: Feb 2008

posted August 14, 2008 02:42 PM         

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yah, uncalled for indeed

thanks guys

i wish i was with him. meh.

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Posts: 2913
From: Never Never Land
Registered: Oct 2006

posted August 14, 2008 09:28 PM         

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UGH @()*@*$*(! Thats really unfair...something tells me thats a spur of a moment thing though than actual planned out stuff...He will prolly regret it too..but the question is do you really want him to? Don't wish you were him, you are stronger and above it all..and you wouldn't do it over e-mail...ugh...stay strong lady

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Posts: 2528
From:
Registered: Apr 2006

posted August 14, 2008 11:08 PM         

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I agree with BUD. I think that at this stage, it's important that you don't get sucked back into things with him - nobody needs mind games, which is what this amounts to whether it was intended or not.

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Posts: 187
From:
Registered: Feb 2008

posted August 15, 2008 02:22 AM         

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i want him back but im not sure. but im not sure bc of fear. what i want is a fresh start with clearer boundaries. but not right this minute. sometimes when i think about what happened i have to cry, other times i dont care too much, (but mostly sad), other times its a dull pain, other times i feel like i lost respect for him that he would break up with me especially since hes all trying to be friends and stuff now, and sometimes i feel really hopeful that we will get back together.

lets be honest id really like it to all work out right now.
but realistically, i realize i should take some time to a. see what happenes b. be my own person and be the kind of person hed want back in the first place, which is doubly good for me since it involves self esteem confidence happiness independence and c. decide wtf i actually want

blargh

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Posts: 187
From:
Registered: Feb 2008

posted August 15, 2008 02:24 AM         

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o and i said gimme a couple days and he said "no prob i will email you tonight" im like i just said gimme some time...
lol
called me tonight long message like im just going home and i wanna see how you are doing and talk to u and be friends bla
i dont know what his deal is really esp bc the email was all listing his feelings for me and how much he cares and always wants to be there for me no matter how long he has to wait, but he cant be my boyfriend.

strange strange days

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Posts: 63
From:
Registered: Jun 2007

posted August 15, 2008 01:38 PM         

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It sounds like you are both confusing each other.

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Posts: 187
From:
Registered: Feb 2008

posted August 15, 2008 10:50 PM         

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yeah
i am trying to go back to valuing myself, being a jaguar instead of a honda if that makes sense
heh
i think there is hope actually just from seeing him and hearing from him recently tho i havnt taken his calls yet

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Posts: 2913
From: Never Never Land
Registered: Oct 2006

posted August 16, 2008 12:40 AM         

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It sounds like he wants to sit on two chairs with one butt... he isn't respecting your wishes for spaces or your feelings...he just wants to know that you care and that you would be upset and at the same time not seem like the bad guy (his moon)...don't give him any of that...take all the time you need...say ur fine with the friends thing but you need space and then dont answer emails/pick uo phone calls for however long you need...no questions...at this point your feelings come first

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Posts: 187
From:
Registered: Feb 2008

posted August 16, 2008 02:47 AM         

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Thanks you are right
I dont even know if I will tell him Im ok being friends I will just chat with him when I see him so its clear but yeah.
That must be a pretty big butt! Hahaha.

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