|
Author
|
Topic: calling all geminis
|
Duality
Knowflake Posts: 259
From:
Registered: Jul 2003
|
posted October 08, 2008 07:39 AM
 
Part of growing up, of becoming a person is to know when to tell the truth and when to "lie", whom to tell the truth to and whom not to. By the way, we are talking about OUR truth which is of course subjective.I don't see any virtue, any moral value in telling the cruel truth to someone when I know that person will be deeply hurt. We are told as kids to always tell the truth because it's impossible to explain nuances to kids who are still immature and lack experience so we tell them to always tell the truth.
If a friend asks me "don't I look awful/old"? What am I supposed to say? Yes, you look awful? If someone is supposed to take a test and I think they will fail, am I suppose to tell them, "yes, you'll fail for sure"? Part of being a sensible person is knowing the people we deal with and what they really mean when they say "tell me the truth".
Only idiots tell the truth (theirs of course) all the time, at all costs. Only people who never matured say whatever crosses their mind in the name of "honesty".
Whenever I hear people making statements such as "I hate being lied to" or "I never respect people who lie" and so on, it makes me laugh. Such people are naive at best, childish, foolish or a mix of the above. It's not commendable, it's ridiculous. Life is made up of millions of such situations and decisions. By the way, I'm pertty sure that people who say "I hate being lied to" and "I never befriend people who lie to me" are being lied to constantly. They just don't know it. IP: Logged |
grandmothermoon
Knowflake Posts: 51
From:
Registered: Apr 2008
|
posted October 08, 2008 11:57 AM
going back to the original question. For me the best things about being a Gemini is that I can multi task; to the point where I amaze other people.
I also pick things up really quickly, like concepts and grasping new ideas; that saves for a whole lot of bother.
Third I love that I can see every side of every arguement and then come up with heaps of other ideas too. I love how people's minds work and looking at their body language and really trying to understand them. This make me pretty empathic, intuitive and diplomatic too.I think diplomacy might be where the 'tell lies' things comes to mind. I don't like confrontation unless I know the person really well, so I might say the 'right' thing just to keep the peace.
IP: Logged |
deuxantares
Knowflake Posts: 1197
From: Meet Me in Sofia
Registered: Nov 2006
|
posted October 08, 2008 12:20 PM
My best friend is a Gemini. He is the only one who puts up with my insanity.  We can talk about anything and no topic is taboo. ------------------
Sun:Scorpio, Moon:Scorpio, Asc:Gemini IP: Logged |
heart cakes
Knowflake Posts: 1561
From: canada
Registered: Sep 2007
|
posted October 08, 2008 02:35 PM
hey! to sort of broadly reply to a few of you: i have to say, that as an aquarius i both 'get' statements like "i understand both sides of an argument and am fascinated by how peoples' minds work" and am frustrated because i *don't* see in dualities, as exemplified by Duality's statement: "if a friend asks me "don't I look awful/old"? What am I supposed to say? Yes, you look awful? If someone is supposed to take a test and I think they will fail, am I suppose to tell them, "yes, you'll fail for sure"?" it's a matter of PERCEPTION! there is no absolute truth! maybe (but probably not, at least not consciously) the questionner is asking you, what do YOU think of me? can you see beyond my wrinkles and extra weight and see my heart and sweetness? and your 'tact' is providing her with a false sense of your ability to see through to the 'real' her. if it's not from the heart, it's not truth, in my eyes. mean what you say! the issue with the guy i was seeing was sort of a fundamental issue for me, in our relationship, and he knew this. yet he continuously chose to evade it, thereby making me rather certain of where he fell on that one. a person is allowed to come to their *own* clear perceptions without being manipulated via "tact". a person has a right to knowing the truth of another person when in relationship and where commitment, loyalty, honesty has been promised. in my opinion. i can appreciate the *reasons* for extolling tact as some great virtue, but i disagree with it, fundamentally. perhaps cuz i am an aquarius with sag rising, and i can take the truth. and i don't give up till i find it. /end rant! IP: Logged |
heart cakes
Knowflake Posts: 1561
From: canada
Registered: Sep 2007
|
posted October 08, 2008 04:44 PM
..buuut i also realize, not everyone wants the truth, and it's difficult to always know when that is the case or not. for instance, having dinner at someone's house. they ask you if you like their cooking. you find it to be bland, for instance, and can think of a spice that would go perfectly in the dish and make it taste much better. do you tell them this, thus possibly insulting them, or do you tell them it's delicious? if it were ME, i'd rather hear your suggestion so that i know what you like, to learn something new, to improve the dish, potentially. because my thinking is, if you tell me it's delicious, we both lose. i'll serve it to you next time and you won't like it, and i will have lost an opportunity to truly please you AND learn something. but some people would take it personally and be hurt. i get that. i guess it's a matter of how close you are to the person. but i still think truth is relative and a matter of perception, largely, and it's always best to speak your truth. if you think i look like crap just cuz i'm tired, older, chubby, what have you, i'm not sure that i want to be your friend anyway, dig? i want someone who can see my inner beauty (just going back to that example). but this is coming from my sag neptune-AC-venus conjunction in sag, which is very idealistic AND also craves a HIGHER truth. nothing and no one looks like crap. we are all what we are, and we are all beautiful. blah blah blah. thanks for this discussion. helped me put a lot of my frustration into perspective. now for what i love about geminis: sooooo darn funny. that adorable chuckle that comes up out of nowhere. the sweet, charming, childlike, mischevious grin. the probing, ever-thirsty mind and ability to discuss everything and anything. awesome adaptability, especially in conversation. not many can follow my all-over-the-place train of thought with not only ease, but enthusiasm, and GET what i'm saying. moments of extraordinarily sharp wit that can only come from an extraordinarily sharp mind. ahh geminis, you are something else. IP: Logged |
Astra
Knowflake Posts: 553
From:
Registered: May 2007
|
posted October 08, 2008 07:40 PM
Heartcakes,Typically, when my friends cook for me, they'll ask me if the food needs anything like pepper, salt, etc. In that case, I will tell them what they need to add. However, if I am not particularly close to the person cooking, I won't say anything negative about their cooking because it is very easy to appear ungrateful in these type of situations. Someone who doesn't know me very well could certainly interpret my suggestion as rudeness. quote:
the issue with the guy i was seeing was sort of a fundamental issue for me, in our relationship, and he knew this. yet he continuously chose to evade it, thereby making me rather certain of where he fell on that one. a person is allowed to come to their *own* clear perceptions without being manipulated via "tact". a person has a right to knowing the truth of another person when in relationship and where commitment, loyalty, honesty has been promised. in my opinion.
I agree that in a relationship, this guy should be very honest about the issue to which you are referring since it is important to you and he is aware of this. The only thing you can do is demand a straight answer out of him. Sometimes people aren't sure if you *really* want the truth or if you want the sugarcoated version. Assure him that you want the brutal truth, but beware, Geminis can be very tactless (even more so than a Sag) when you assure them that you want the ugly truth. Give him an ultimatum: either he tells you where he stands on the issue or you'll end the relationship. Now about the question "Is your ex-girlfriend prettier than me?" Generally, when someone asks this question, they are asking "Is she physically more beautiful than me?" They do not care about inner beauty because they already know that they *are* kind, intelligent and generous. However, a lot of people have doubts about their physical beauty which is why so many people are investing so much money in plastic surgery. If I do not think my friend is pretty, I will tend to find something positive and truthful to tell her, and in a way I'm sort of evading her original question. For instance, I would say that she's attractive rather than specifically saying "she's pretty or beautiful." This answer would be true since attractive people are not necessarily pretty; it's often their personality that makes them attractive and I only choose friends with good personalities. This method allows me to be honest in a way, but not be cruel about it. IP: Logged | |
Lindaland
UBBFriend: Email This Page to Someone! 
