posted November 05, 2008 04:57 AM         

I forgot to write that one male member in other Forum wrote:

I am looking for the girl, born (day, month and year). He didn't write hour of birth because it seems he has looked for her planets in good harmony with his planets. Beside that is big difference, if somebody is born at noon in Europe or USA.

Buena

posted November 05, 2008 08:31 AM         

katatonic you words made me shiver. And I thank God for your wise advice at the end because something has to get a hold of my feet on this one before I float off into never never land.

I wanted to add that I have read some on Haybelly's story before and she is the one who inspired me to spill my guts here. "Spill my guts" means "share my deep private thoughts" in this instance, buena.

buena, I confused you, sorry. The five years is the amount of time I have been basically single after my marriage. During that time I have told myself I will fall in love in a slow and practical way... and LEARN ABOUT the man before giving my heart. I don't want to make the same "mistake" again because my ex is trouble. And my sun is in the 8th so I go for these Plutonic relationships it seems...

So, I was saying that I have been so careful to be practical and not jump in head first and I have said so many things about "love at first site" and how there is connection at first site, but the rest is lust etc... but in reality, now that it is happening, it is like a run away train... and I can't stop it. I hope you understand a bit more... if not, just ask, don't worry, I won't tire of talking about it.! ;^) :^D

posted November 05, 2008 09:36 AM         

I could stay awake just to hear you breathing
Watch you smile while you are sleeping
While you're far away dreaming
I could spend my life in this sweet surrender
I could stay lost in this moment forever
Every moment spent with you is a moment I treasure

Don't want to close my eyes
I don't want to fall asleep
Cause Id miss you baby
And I don't want to miss a thing
Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream will never do
I'd still miss you baby
And I don't want to miss a thing

Lying close to you feeling your heart beating
And I'm wondering what you're dreaming
Wondering if its me you're seeing
Then I kiss your eyes
And thank God were together
I just want to stay with you in this moment forever
Forever and ever

Don't want to close my eyes
I don't want to fall asleep
Cause I'd miss you baby
And I don't want to miss a thing
Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream will never do
Id still miss you baby
And I don't want to miss a thing

I don't want to miss one smile
I don't want to miss one kiss
I just want to be with you
Right here with you, just like this
I just want to hold you close
Feel your heart so close to mine
And just stay here in this moment
For all the rest of time

Don't want to close my eyes
I don't want to fall asleep
Cause I'd miss you baby
And I don't want to miss a thing
Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream will never do
Id still miss you baby
And I don't want to miss a thing

Don't want to close my eyes
I don't want to fall asleep
I don't want to miss a thing http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0sbQ0hqH9ZU

And that is what terrifies me about even communicating with him more. I feel like if I ever get that close to him I'll feel that overwhelming feeling and then I'll be lost. Which sounds so romantic and wonderful and "oh! Why not?" But the why not is that he could be like my ex-husband, who lied to me about who he was... and then once I found out months after we had been intimate... I was not strong enough to break away ....oh, here's where I say... "and had a child with him SO WHAT COULD BE WRONG WITH THAT SINCE MY CHILD IS MY CHILD AND THE ONE I LOVE MORE THAN ANYTHING AND WAS MEANT TO LOVE????? " I sit and go in circles about this.

my poem on this...

Meant to Be

Drowning
in chick flick
emotion
what was
what is
what might have been
my child
my heart
my bad decision

A circular struggle
staged for my dark
enjoyment
I wouldn’t
change a thing,
my daughter
is perfect

the one who is meant
to be my child
A choice made long ago
Before
these roles
A decision
Predestined

My mind will toy with
what is
what was
my choice in a husband
My mind will toy with
What is predestined?

It seems I was destined to do just what I did. Though to a rational practical person it seems ridiculous.

my poem to explain what I mean by this:

Princess Rosie’s Dollhouse

The window panes are clear and tall, tidy
wooden boxes bloom with flowers below
Mom and Dad with brother and Rosie
sit together, rocking the baby slow

Aroma of cookies wafts through the air,
gingham picnic basket on the patio
family strolls out, the wind in their hair
Idyllic setting, perfection in faux

Dollhouse world where Daddy is kind, a man
who protects and provides for Princess Rose

instead of a

violent ,

dead-beat dad
supervised visit,

with someone unknown

Mommy fighting to protect little girl
within a Norman Rockwell nightmare world

So, now here I am at the precipice again...

and with everything I have, every bit of strength, I have struggled alone (well, I've had you guys THANK GOD) for so many years because I SWORE I would get to know the person for years before giving my heart all the way to make sure I didn't accidentally pick someone who would be bad for my daughter. And now this feeling can get so overwhelming that I doubt my ability to withstand it in the future. And it might be nothing.
And it might be everything.

The point is that IT IS STRONG. And I wonder if some things are so destined there is no fighting them.

There is an ancient Chinese proverb that is quoted by Carl Jung that sprang to my mind there. "You often meet your destiny on the path you take to avoid it."

posted November 05, 2008 09:42 AM         

I am going to start a thread in Soul Unions and repost all of my love sick ramblings and put a link back to this thread since I am talking a little too much on your thread. I want to hear from some more people on their love at first site stories!

posted November 05, 2008 10:19 AM         

silly me I still have such a love crush on him. No matter where we are, when either of walks into a room and our eyes meet, it is still so amazing, no one else is there and we just "know" what each other feels or our moods or whatever.

It really should not work, we are from 2 different worlds and I am much older than him. If you want to see our charts, you can. I have the combined, though I really can't read it. If the chart doesn't show anything I still wouldn't care because something has to be there for it to work so long and be so strong.

I know I sound pathetic but so many people are out there searching for that connection and I thank God every day for what we have. I feel so blessed!

posted November 05, 2008 11:45 AM         

Here is one thing that is on our composite.

135 Conjunction Sun - Pluto

posted November 06, 2008 02:46 AM         

As I don't want to tell all my stories, how it went on, I can tell here two stories, how it has begun. In that time I was living in abroad.

1. I was 25 years old and have lived in a small apartment in the house where only women were. There beside was restaurant. One day in October I went to that restaurant to buy some food.
From other side of the street (at the same time I came out) came blond, tall and very good looking man. He was student, born in sign Scorpio.
He has asked me something (I don't know what) and we went inside to drink coffee and fruit juice. From that day we have stayed together. After two months we were engaged.
After one year exactly he went back to his country and I had to come after. To go to his country I had to get papers. I was running all over to get the papers (his mother has sent me all papers from their side) but it didn't help. I gave up. He was writing letters long time, about two more years. I wrote back, I am not coming and then was over.

2. After two years, I have met the second man (more important - I knew it later). It was also love at first sight.

It was in one Disco bar - where was music all day and the place to dance. There were papers about travelling to different countries. I was looking them and drinking coffee. On the other side was one man looking at me. In the moment I have seen him, my thought was: oh my God, what a man! He came to me asking, if he can take a seat. I said, yes!
Then we have discussed about travelling: I said that I would like to go to Canada; he told that he would like to go to Brazil. I told him: as Acapulco is somewhere on half way we can meet there.
We didn't meet there but went out for a walk and from that day were together. After five months the same thing happened: as he was from other country he had to go to the Army (was 26 years old). He left, but wrote to me regularly letters and has called me every Sunday.

In the second case I have made big mistake, because I didn't believe to him as he was from some rich doctor's family and I thought: I am not good enough for them.
Later, he was almost all the time in my mind. As my Ideal Man my Soul Mate or whatever.

After both of them left, I left too. I went to Canada.

End of the story (one part)!

Buena

------------------

posted November 06, 2008 08:10 AM         

I've checked 165 from my sun that would be appro 24 Leo that would conjunct my husband, father & grandfathers sun, my son & first loves ascendant. my youngest son's chiron. My brothers mercury. My best friends Node and his point would be conjunct my ascendant.

My sons would be in Cancer conjunct my ascendant his brothers sun & Mercury & his dad's Mercury his grandmothers uranus

My youngest sons in Sag conjunct my Neptune, his grandmothers node, my friends Venus neptune... he helps him with his art.

My husbands would be in Aquarius conjunct my venus Jupiter, our son's moon, my mothers chiron

posted November 06, 2008 12:57 PM         

------------------
Capricorn sun / Scorpio rising / Sagittarius moon

posted November 07, 2008 02:27 AM         

Of all the times for you to have been excited to see me posting, it had to be when I was drunk! (Was celebrating the Obama win. Maybe it's my Sun-Neptune cnj that makes me so sensitive to alcohol, and for me to still be feeling it after everyone else has already long sobered up.) Anyway, I'm glad what I said made sense to you not just conceptually, but in a personal way too. Btw, I love your poetry. (At first read, too. )

I know I'm in the minority on this, but I really do believe in love at first sight. I have to believe in it - I've experienced it. I've been in love 3 times, and every time, it was with someone who I had that "love at first sight" experience with. It's a difficult experience to describe, but I'll try. The best way to put it, is that I didn't feel any barriers. It wasn't "me" meeting "him," it was just "us." It was an intoxicating (ha, Sun-Neptune) experience. It certainly wasn't just lust. It didn't feel like any form of attraction, now that I think about it, because that would imply person "A" wanting "B," and it was precisely those barriers that I didn't feel. It was a lot like an orgasm, minus the bodily fluids.

The attraction came immediately after the experience. I guess it was a desire to feel that connection again.

posted November 07, 2008 02:28 AM         

I think the disagreement here is over what love is. If love is a soul connection between people, then that bond is there regardless of time. That bond is an intrinsic part of who each person is.

But if love is (just) affection, if it is an approval/admiration/extreme likeness for the other person, then yes, that takes time. You can't like a trait until you know it exists. I think that's why so many people say that love at first sight is really lust at first sight. Maybe they're figuring that you can't immediately know a person's inner world, but you can perceive them physically and immediately know if you like what you're seeing (and hearing, smelling, etc.).

Also, if love is (just) that bond that comes with shared experiences, and sharing your thoughts and feelings with another person, that also needs time to happen. If love is (just) security, trust & commitment...all that needs time to develop as well.

What doesn't need time though is a soul connection because that connection is eternal. It's either there or it isn't, and no time spent getting to know the person will make it appear if it's not truly there or take it away if it truly is there.

So MM, don't fear or fight the connection you feel with this man. That connection will be there no matter what you do. Explore it. Let it develop. We may not choose who we love, but we can choose what we do about it. From what I've seen of you here, I believe you'd be strong enough to end this relationship if it became damaging toward you. And it may just end up being exactly the right relationship for you.

posted November 07, 2008 12:54 PM         

I just saw what you wrote... how beautiful. Thank you so much for sharing. I can't wait for Part 2. So, to be clear, you still are in love with guy #2? And you are in Canada now and doesn't he live in Canada?? It is so interesting that both of your 'loves' were from other countries. I bet that shows up in your chart. I will check back for more from time to time.

posted November 08, 2008 04:18 AM         

I live in Europe now. It is in ex part of my ex home country.

There won't be 2nd part.

Only about love to the second one: I was thinking about him very long time, maybe not in love with him but each man should be like him.
2002, in June I wrote to him letter to give me his hour of birth. This letter has travelled 3 weeks to him, although we live in neighbour countries.
We came in contact, we wrote letters to each other, we have talked hours and hours and I was in love again. He told me things he didn't before and he was also full of love. He told me also, that he was married because his girlfriend was pregnant, but has divorced after two years. This son he has seen only once, because his wife was angry that he left her.
From other 8 years - relationship he has one daughter.
He had many women in abroad, but his Chart is not good for marriage, only for free relationships.
As he was working as a free lance in abroad, he went away in February 2003. Before that I told him, that he is going to meet new love in abroad. He wrote me mails and I did it back, but we didn't see each other. First I had terrible pains and in such a situation don't want to see anybody. Second thing was that just with the letter from him I have fallen on the street and broke my teeth (in front). I had to wait 2,5 months until have got cover for the broken teeth.

How things have ended:
I wrote him that I can't stay with him;
he met new love in abroad;
he called me in February 2004 and was screaming at me.
He told me also that there is new woman in his life.

What we have in common:

Almost the same AC in Libra,
My Jupiter in his 1st,
My Moon in his 5th,
My Sun in his 7th,
His Moon in my 7th,

His Sun trine my Sun,
His Sun sextile my Moon,
His Jupiter trine my Saturn,
My Venus opposition his Venus,
My NN conjunction his Uranus,
His NN conjunction my Uranus.
His Pluto sextile my AC,
His Uranus trine my AC,
His Saturn sextile my Neptune.

What is not good:
His Mars and Sun square my Neptune,
His Moon opposition my AC, Chiron, Juno and Jupiter.

We have finished as great enemies.

End of the story!